Hidey there folks! Well it's been a long time since I posted anything, and WIBN (When the Insane Become Ninjas) has been put on Hiatus. Probably permanent but who knows? I'm a very random person!
So anyways, I'd like to apologize for not updating or coming on recently! And thanks to anyone who has reviewed for WIBN! DOMO ARIGATO!
This story is dedicated to my good friend and author pal Apollo! Please go check out her stories! She's in my Fav Authors as Apollo444 or as she changed it Apollo Pompano! Go check her out! This whole one shot was based off of a ahem degrading picture of Sasuke I co-drew with my friend Chowie! Unfortunately none of you can see it... But there is a description later on that will describe what happened. This is my first one shot hope you like it!
Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the original characters made by Masashi Kishimoto, or owned by Square Enix/Tetsuya Nomura. However ideas behind Axel The Broccoli Bazooka and Moustachi belong to me and Chowie.
Case: Graffiti
Sirens covered up the loud cries and pleas of the crowd behind the barriers. The police surround the two story home with shields shouting out orders to each other. The news crew was set recording the "breaking news" and snapping shots for tomorrow's front page edition of 'Presentation Konoha'.
"Alright men," yelled Captain Ryu of the Konoha Defense Corporation. "We are dealing with an insane psychopath. We may never make it out alive! So watch each other's backs and stay close."
"HAI TAICHOU!" The squad broke off from their little huddle. Their florescent purple uniforms shone in the search lights trying to locate their target in the dark. The strangely shaped character on their backs was a dead give away. The horribly misshapen character could only mean one thing. It was the Mad Skillz Pony Brigade! The most secretive and exclusive part of KDC!
The Brigade stood on standby. As soon as the front door was busted in half the command was given and they charged…..
The inside of the building was dark and surprisingly creepy. The walls were slashed and there were other obvious signs that the psycho had been through. The Captain turned to face his subordinates. "We'll have to split up men."
"What?! But Captain? With a psycho on the loose do you think that is wise?" Teme was the first to protest. Ryu gave him a solemn look, "I understand the risk, but we must stop the psycho at all costs!"
--
Sergeant Kindrepmuh was not a fool. He may be new to the squad and received the title of Sergeant because the old locker he was using had 'Sergeant' written on it with water based permanent marker, but Kindrepmuh was not a quitter. That is why he was determined to find the psycho first and prove himself.
He was considering this as he walked down the hallway alone. Perhaps he should ask that lady over there? Kindrepmuh tapped the lady on the shoulder. "Um excuse me miss? You haven't seen any-uh…ugh…AAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!"
PLAYER 3 TERMINATED.
--
Teme was searching the kitchen for the psycho. He noticed there was a long red streak across the wall. "B-blood?" he wiped his finger across and sniffed. "No? It's-" A loud girlish shriek came from down the hallway. "That loud girlish shriek can only be the Sergeant!" Teme heard a 'crack' under from under his boot. He bent down to look, "Red Lipstick?"
He felt something wet land on his head. "Huh?" he reached up to rub it off. "Sticky?" "Huuu huuu huuu…" Teme slowly turned his head upward. "…. Sweet Aunt Jemima Pancakes…. IT'S YO-ARGH!"
PLAYER 2 TERMINATED
--
The fourth member and unnamed character was suffiecently unimportant and therefore had no name. So we shall refer to him as Random KDC #286.
Now Random KDC #286 was an idiot and totally useless, though not as useless as Sergeant Kindrepumh. So he was stupid enough to decide to use the bathroom. Everyone knows you never use the bathroom alone in horror movies. You just don't.
"KYAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
PLAYER 4 TERMINATED.
--
Captain Ryu knew that his plan must have failed. He heard three girlish screams to support his theory. Yes, more than likely he was the last one left standing. The psycho would definitely come after him. That is why Captain Ryu decided to wait in the main hall. It was time to face it head on.
He looked around. He felt nervous and impatient waiting for the psycho to come but he refused to let it get the jump on him. "Um?" Yes, he would remain on full alert ready the second the psycho made it's appearance. "Hello? Sir?" He was Captain Ryu of the 'Mad Skillz Pony Brigade' the elite of the Konoha Defense Corps! "Sir?" No one would sneak up on him! "SIR!"
"AYAI!" Ryu wheeled around to face the man standing in the open doorway. "Hey no passerbys allowed! You have to wait behind the barrier until we're finished!"
"But I live here." Ryu eyed the man up and down, he seemed suspicious with that black cloak and red clouds. And he had long hair, Ryu didn't trust guys with long dark hair. But this guy had a moustache, and it was well known that Captain Ryu had a 'stache as bushy as a 70's afro and as thick as a tube of toothpaste.
In fact many people called him Captain Stachey behind his back even thought he knew they were. So of course Ryu had to believe that this guy could mean no possible harm. Not if he was a moustachoed kin.
"What's your name son?" Still there was a psycho on the loose, he had to be careful. The stranger seemed uncomfortable and he adjusted his moustache two centimeters to the left. "Um it's well… It- Mous- Moustachi. Moustachi!"
"Well then Moustachi, we are looking for a psychopath. Have you seen" Ryu shoved a photo into his face, "THIS PSYCHO?"
"AGHHH! It's hideous! Put it away!" Moustachi shrieked and turned away. "It's alright son, because I Captain Ryu, am on the case!"
"….N-niii-sann? Heehehhee? Nii-san there?" Moustachi froze. Captain Ryu noticed this and began to turn around slowlyyyyy……
And there he came face to face with the psychopath. "My shishcabobs!" He exclaimed, "what is it?!" And there stood Sasuke stood. Sixteen years old and dressed in drag: a baggy blouse with his boxers showing from the bottom, his mom's good earrings on, fake pearls around his neck, a zebra-print bra on top of the blouse and enough make up on to make Orochimaru jealous.
"Sasuke?" Moustachi asked. "Quick keep back citizen!" Ryu pushed Moustachi back, "TAKE THIS YOU UNRULY BEAST!" And with that Captain Ryu lobbed a square box through the air that promptly hit Sasuke on the forehead and exploded. Purple liquid splashed everywhere. "Eh? EH?" Sasuke began to scramble around trying to wipe off the purple.
"That's right Grape Juice!" Ryu boasted proudly. And then he pulled out a fire extinguisher and started spraying the drag queen. "NO! It burnnssss usssssss!" He screeched and fell to the floor in the fetal position.
Ryu took this moment to pounce and cuffed Sasuke and then began to drag him out. There were sounds of cheering and "He's got the psycho!" before the police transport screeched away. The News casters followed and the crowd dispersed.
Moustachi stood in his now ruined home and looked around at the mess. The Axel the Broccoli Bazooka shouted "Got it memorized?!" and tossed broccolis everywhere and ripped off Moustachi's 'stache and fled.
Moustachi, er Itachi stood in shock with a red mark above his lip, just staring at the stains and ruined walls. "Well dang!"
-THE END-
I hope you enjoyed my frist one shot! Please Review!
Peace!