Hey guys! I'll be updating voyeur soon, but I was feeling a little down today so I typed this up. Just a little angsting, it's Matt and Mello again, and TOTALLY unrelated to voyeur. Please don't read if you are easily depressed because its a little sad! If you're going to stick around Know it's a songfic to "Tell Mary" by meg&dia (because thats what I was listening to when I was upset earlier.) Enjoy!
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN DEATHNOTE OR MEG & DIA. I DO NOT TAKE CREDIT FOR ANY OF THIER WORK. THANK YOU.
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Oh, Play along.
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Matt was never sure why Mello kept him around with him. He also wasn't sure about how they had stayed close this long. He just went with it because quite honestly, he liked it.
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She wills it.
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He didn't mind the "games" the other played with him in their dorm room bed. He let them happen. Sometimes he even started them, because like being around Mello to begin with, he liked the "games" too.
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Oh, Sunday came.
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Neither of them really liked church. Yet every Sunday Mello would take matt with him to sit out in the fields, gripping his rosary, lips moving in possible prayers. He never said anything because he liked the way the other's plump, pink lips looked parted. He never got to see the way they looked when he would pry them open with his tongue.
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Promised you'd tell her.
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Mello always swore he would tell Matt whenever he needed to hear it. He knew the other was insecure. But was it really wrong to take advantage when he lay on the bed, eyes teary and legs parted, begging to be taken? No. It wasn't. Not as long as he always told him after words. Even if he wasn't sure just what he meant.
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She sat up in bed.
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Matt came when Mello called. Well, metaphorically. Four o clock every morning, awoke to wrap his arms around the other's waist while he silently fell apart, just like Matt but just a bit more graceful.
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Answered your call dear.
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He always tried to tell the beautiful boy what he wanted to hear. "I love you. You're perfect. I'm always here." Because their hearts both screamed for it.
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Smeared purple and red.
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Matt was the only one bloody and bruised, though the emotional stains stayed on both of them. He didn't mind anymore though, the biting always felt good while it was happening, and he never had to think of the scars they both held inside if he was distracted.
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You're gonna leave her tonight.
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Mello knew when he had met Matt at Wammys that he was just like the other one. The childhood friend he had left behind. He knew they would be close because of that. He never expected to end up "in love" with him.
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She sat up with her eyes wide.
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Matt stayed up at night because knew from day one Mello only liked him because he was like another childhood friend. He knew every time they kissed it never quite meant anything, and every thrust the other pushed into him with was done without him really in mind. It kept him here though.
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You fell in love with a girl you knew.
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Mello knew he felt like Matt was someone else. He also knew that was why he loved him, because it wasn't really.
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You've come to say goodbye.
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Mello also knew when he was no longer a candidate for the next L, that Matt was even less important than he had thought. As he walked into the dorm room to pack his stuff, he also realized leaving may not even hurt as much as he had initially thought it would.
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You're gonna leave her tonight.
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He didn't know what the knot in his throat was when he opened the door and felt Matt's arms around him, but he was sure it would go away soon. He asked the other to come with him to their spot in the field. Matt complied eagerly, cheerfully even, not understanding that this was goodbye. Mello may have felt guilt.
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Under a cheap July sky.
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The stars were perfect and white in a hot, summer blue black sky. One shined particularly bright, like a flame. Mello heard a star was brightest right before it blew out. He wondered if the star symbolized what he was doing right now. Maybe that's why when Matt leaned in for a passionate kiss, he grabbed the other's hands in his own and kissed back with maybe the most intense emotion he had for such a long time, knowing he would never taste the other again after tonight.
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Tell her.
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He looked into the hazel eyes.
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Tell Mary.
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And he failed to say anything for the moment.
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After the first touch.
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The second time they kissed wasn't as deep. Maybe he could still do this.
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Her skirt boring.
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It was kind of like how after their first time it wasn't as exciting when their skin met, maybe because he finally accepted Matt wasn't really who he wanted. Just like he was accepting he was leaving, and he had to tell him.
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Her voice deep and charming at first.
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It was just like how talking to him used to comfort him, now only made him strain for words.
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You could make her come back once in a while.
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The third kiss deep again, like when he would dream that he was still a child with his best friend, and wake up desperate for contact with the only one at least somewhat close to his desire.
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If you painted a fresco.
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Matt knew he and Mello were only held together by the images they had painted in their heads; Matt wished that Mello really saw him when he moaned.
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There she'd be with her powder half falling off.
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He knew Mello's image saw him falling apart.
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So perfect from far.
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He also knew Mello didn't want to look close enough to ruin it for himself.
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Meet me at the pictures Mary.
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Being here with Mello though, at his favorite spot, because Mello wanted him too, took all of that agony away for a moment. Maybe he would say he loved him all along, and that Matt was silly for not seeing that earlier and then they would live happily ever after. However, something told him that was not why he was here.
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Adam said that he was leaving.
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Matt couldn't believe his ears when he heard what had came out of Mello's mouth. Sure he had told himself Mello may do this one day but… He felt himself shaking.
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Meet me.
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He had always come when Mello called, hadn't he?
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Meet Me.
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Even when Mello didn't say anything he came, didn't that make him a good puppy?
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You're gonna leave her tonight.
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Why was he leaving when he had given all he had…
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You're gonna leave her tonight.
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Mello knew this was harder for Matt than it was for him, so why did it feel like his heart stopped beating when he saw the look in Matt's eyes?
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She sat up with her eye's wide.
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All of those sleepless nights couldn't have prepared Matt for this.
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You fell in love with a girl you knew.
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Mello told himself it only hurt because Matt just looked like someone else, so why was his heart screaming?
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With a girl you knew.
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How come now of all times he could finally really see the boy in front of him when he least wanted too?
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You're gonna leave her tonight.
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And how come when he released his grip on Matt's hands, that small sob of a pleaded no from the other's voice sounded like his death sentence?
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She sat up with her eyes wide.
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The other's once wide energetic eyes were now waterlogged, and Mello couldn't take another second of this.
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You fell in love with a girl you knew.
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He didn't really love him… did he?
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And you've come to say goodbye.
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Why did it seem that goodbye wasn't the right choice of wording?
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You're gonna leave her tonight.
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As Mello turned his back to him and walked away Matt fell to the ground and sobbed, releasing every moment of pent up agony he had even felt.
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Under a cheap July sky.
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And suddenly that star from earlier vanished from the hot muggy air, never to be seen again.
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Tell her.
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And he just couldn't bring himself to say it.
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Tell Mary.