Thinking of You, a gakuen alice fanfic

Okay, so, this will officially be my first finished fic. See, I guess you can say that I have a commitment problem, and I can't stick to one fic and finish it. So, I found the perfect solution. A one-shot! Now I believe I know how players feel. They can't commit to one girl, so they have one-night stands. Ahaha, does that make sense? No? Sorry.

Anyways, I don't own Gakuen Alice. Thank God too, 'cause Natsume and Mikan would be stick people. Oh, and I also don't own Katy Perry or her song "Thinking of You." I just find it very sad and pretty. I also adore Katy Perry. Anyways, I'll shush now.

[Flashback]

"Polka," Natsume said, with an sad glint in his eyes, one that made my heart lurch upon the sight of it. "I'm leaving."

"What? When? Why?" I questioned, so quickly it made my words run together.

"The Alice War. They need me. And I'm leaving tomorrow. I don't know for how long. I don't know if I'll ever see you again." He said, hiding his eyes under his bangs.

"What? You can't leave Natsume-" I break off and start sobbing "I need you!"

"Bye, Mikan." He said, and started walking off.

"I will see you again! You'll be okay! We'll win the war and you'll come back to me!" I yell at his retreating figure, but I sounded as if I was trying to convince myself.

He turned around and didn't make eye contact. Instead, he stared at my shoes and simply stated, "Forget about me. Find someone else. Move on." And then he was gone.

[End of Flashback]

It's been two years since then, and one year since the war ended. I haven't seen or contacted him since. I've tried moving on, I've tried loving somebody else. But, no matter what, no matter whom, no matter how great the guy was, I couldn't love them. Because I was constantly thinking of him. Because, once you've tasted perfection, you can never settle for anything less.

"-kan!" I heard. "Mikan!"

I snapped out of my thoughts and stared into the amethyst eyes of my best friend. "Oh, what is it, Hotaru?" I questioned.

"I hate it when you space out like that. I've been trying to get your attention for 5 minutes," She said, in that famous monotone voice of hers. "Well, I just asked you if you were going to enter the talent contest. The prize is 50,000 yen."

I giggled. Of course she wanted me to win her that money. "But I don't have a talent." I stated.

"Yes. You do. I've heard you sing before. You were amazing," She said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, and that I was dumb for not knowing it.

"Well, I don't have a song," I replied.

"But you do," She said, "I do recall 'accidentally' overhearing you sing a song about a certain someone. It was beautiful."

I sigh, remembering when Hotaru walked in after I had just finished singing a song I had written, pointed at me, and dryly said, "Natsume, right?"

"Ugh. Fine, I'll do it," I said, grabbing my bag as the bell signaling the end of lunch rang. I started walking away quickly, but she kept up with me easily. Damn her and her long legs.

"Don't be such a drama queen. It's just a Talent Show. And I promise, you won't regret it." She said, with a hint of mischief in her voice. I eyed her suspiciously. She's definitely planning something.

"Whatever. I'll start practicing tonight. How soon is it, anyway?" I ask her.

"About that…" She smiled guiltily. "It's tonight," I nearly dropped my cell phone, on which I was texting my friend Anna about our plans for the weekend.

"What!" I screamed. She just ignored me and started walking away.

"Thanks for not springing it on me and all!" I yelled after her. "You suck, Hotaru!"

She didn't even look back, but I could tell she was laughing by the way her shoulders was shaking.

I arrived at the address Hotaru had written in a note to me during chemistry. She probably could have mentioned to me the fact that it was a bar, but no. Since her life's goal is to make my life as difficult as possible, she had not. I searched through the immense crowd for Hotaru, but to no avail. When I do find her, though, she's dead. I tried to avoid making eye contact with anyone because, in my jeans and band t-shirt, it was kind of obvious I'm underage.

I climbed some stairs to a door with a sign that says "Performers Only", which I assumed lead to backstage. That was probably where Hotaru was hiding. I had my hand on the doorknob, about to open it after letting my eyes sweep the audience one last time, when I saw him. Or at least, I thought I did. It was probably just me seeing things, like I sometimes do when I get really stressed and have been thinking about him a lot. And trust me, I'm pretty stressed, and there is rarely a time when I don't think about him, so I just brushed it off and entered the room. As I had suspected, it was the backstage. Now, if I could find Hotaru, things would be dandy. I walked down the poorly-lit, dark corridor and almost tripped over some stage equipment. I sighed, wishing I knew where I was going when some really girly looking dude walked up to me.

"Hello! I'm Narumi, the stage manager, and I'm assuming you're Sakura Mikan?" He questioned, to which I nodded in reply. He looked at me suspiciously, looking like he wanted to say something. In the end, he decided against it. "Would you like me to show you to your dressing room?"

"Please," I said, wondering if he found out I was underage.

He leads me down the dark corridor, expertly avoiding all the obstacles in the way, and I tried to do the same, but I still ended up tangling my foot in some electrical wires. Suddenly, he stopped at a door with a dry erase board nailed on it. On the dry erase board, Hotaru's handwriting spelled out "Sakura Mikan". "You're on in fifteen minutes." He said, and left the way we came from.

"Okay, thank you," I said, before turning the knob. Hotaru was waiting for me inside the room.

"God! Mikan! What are you wearing? Your clothes scream teenager! Do you want to get us kicked out?" Hotaru yelled. Well, not really a yell. Just a little louder than her normal speaking tone, but for her, that's yelling.

"Um, well, we probably wouldn't have this problem if I had been a little more informed." I pointed out.

Hotaru just went on as if she didn't hear me. "Good thing I was prepared for this," She said, mostly to herself, though. She pulls a black, knee length dress with three-fourth sleeves out of an enormous duffel bag. It had a red sash that went around the waist, and a low neckline. "Here, put this on." She said, with her words now directed at me. "Oh, and these," She said, producing some stiletto boots from her bag.

I did as she asked because I didn't feel like arguing. I had enough stress as it was and I need to be as calm as possible if I'm going to perform in front of a bunch of drunks.

Then, Hotaru said "Time for the makeup," and pulled a makeup case out of the bag. "No base for you, you already have good skin.. Some eyeliner would make you look older.. A little bit of mascara… Oh and some lip-gloss… Maybe some dark gray eye shadow, but not too dark..," She mumbled as she was applying makeup to me. After I was sure she added about five pounds to my head in makeup, she finally declared me ready.

Not too long after that, it was my time to perform. After a wink and a push from Hotaru, I walked onto the stage. I received a few hoots of approval from some old drunk men, to which I threw a deadly glare at Hotaru for. She just smiled in reply, and nodded at me as if tell me to get started already. I rolled my eyes and looked back at the crowd. I caught a glimpse of a few of my friends in the crowd. I'll have to thank Hotaru for that later. Finally, I started singing.

[[Thinking of You – Katy Perry]]

Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one, I still got the seed

You said move on, where do I go?
I guess second best is all I will know

'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you
(Thinking of you, thinking of you)
Thinking of you, what you would do
If you were the one who was spending the night
(Spending the night, spending the night)
Oh, I wish that I was looking into your eyes

You're like an Indian summer in the middle of winter
Like a hard candy with a surprise center
How do I get better once I've had the best?
You said there's tons of fish in the water, so the waters I will test

He kissed my lips, I taste your mouth, oh!
(Taste your mouth)
He pulled me in, I was disgusted with myself

'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you
(Thinking of you, thinking of you)
Thinking of you, what you would do
If you were the one who was spending the night
(Spending the night, spending the night)
Oh, I wish that I was looking into

I looked down into the crowd and met familiar crimson eyes. I gasped. I stopped singing, and stared into those eyes I had wanted so desperately to see for so long. Suddenly, I realized what Hotaru had been planning all along. I smiled, grateful to Hotaru for the first time tonight. These words I would be to scared to say to him. But singing, now that's a different story...

You're the best, and yes, I do regret
How I could let myself let you go
Now, now the lesson's learned
I touched it, I was burned
Oh, I think you should know!

Oh, won't you walk through?
And bust in the door and take me away?
Oh, no more mistakes
'Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay, stay

I finished the song and with one last sad smile cast in Natsume's direction, I walked off the stage. I was greeted by Hotaru who hugged me and wiped away the tears that had apparently appeared in my eyes sometime during the song.

"You did great.," She said, rubbing my back comfortingly.

"Hotaru..," I mumbled into her shoulder.

"Hmm..?" She replied.

"Do you think he... Natsume knew the song was about him..?" I said, crying harder when I said Natsume.

"Well, he'd have to be pretty damn stupid not to know it," She said, which made me giggle through my tears.

"Yeah... He would, wouldn't he?" I said, sighing. I wiped away the rest of my tears and pulled away from Hotaru. "I need some air.."

Hotaru nodded. "Need me to come with you? It's dangerous out there at night for girls like you, you know." She informed me. "Oh, and take this jacket. It's snowing."

I caught the jacket she threw to me and rolled my eyes as I shrugged it on. "I'll be fine. I'll pretend to be talking on my phone the whole time," I said as I began to walk towards the back exit.

"If you're not back in five minutes, I'm calling the cops," She called to me, but I was already halfway out the door by the time she finished the sentence.

The back exit led to a dark alley filled with snow. I could see my breath in small white puffs, and as promised, I pulled my cell phone out of my boot and pressed it against my ear. I leaned against the brick wall of the building, and started thinking. Questions filled my mind.

How long has Natsume been back? Where has he been all this time after the war ended? Does he have a new girlfriend? If so, is she prettier than me? What was the war like? Did he kill anyone? Did he still love me? Did he ever love me? If he did, he wouldn't have left me, right?

What did he think of me tonight? Did he think I'd grown? Become more mature? More beautiful? Or did he think I'd become somebody he'd hate?

Suddenly, I heard the crunching of somebody walking in the snow coming towards me.

"Mhm.. It was funny. He thought it was a marshmallow but it was actually a pillow. What a 'tard." I muttered nonsense to the imaginary person in my phone.

"You don't have to pretend to talk on the phone. It's just me," A deep, familiar voice said. I looked up and came face to face with Natsume.

"Wait.. How'd you-" I started, but he cut me off.

"Nobody would say something as stupid as that. Where'd that come from anyway?" He asked, smirking.

"No, how'd you know I was out here?" I asked.

"Hotaru told me." He said, suddenly finding his shoes very interesting.

"Oh," I said, and an awkward silence settled between the two of us.

I slid down the wall I was leaning up against and hugged my knees to my chest. He sat down beside me, and decided to break the silence. "So, uh, I never knew you were good at singing."

"Guess you didn't stick around long enough to find out." I snapped. I stole a glance at him and saw sadness and regret in his eyes and immediately felt bad for it. "I'm sorry. I just..."

"Hate me? I understand. I deserve it. I never deserved you in the first place. I made a mistake and it cost me the thing that mattered most to me..." He said, his voice filled with remorse.

"No, I could never hate you. I'm just angry that you left me. Worse, you told me to move on. I'm sorry, Natsume. But that will never happen. I know you probably have a new love now, and she's probably everything I could never be. She's probably beautiful, intelligent, talented, funny,-"

"She also never gives up, and has a smile that can make any guy fall head over heels in love with her at the sight of it. I know I did," He said, smiling.

I felt sick. "Oh, I figured. I mean, of course you have a new girlfriend." I turned away from him so he wouldn't see me crying.

"What are you talking about? Weren't we were talking about you?" I looked back at him and saw him smiling softly at me. He reached over the large gap between us and wiped away my tears.

And then that gap became a small gap, as he took my face into his hands and kissed me gently. Then it deepened into a slightly rough, passionate kiss. The kiss was filled with longing and tasted slightly like cinnamon. When we came up for a breather, he rested his forehead against mine and said, "I missed you"

To which I replied sweetly, "I missed you, too." And the not so sweetly I added, "But you have some explaining to do."

So what did you think? Honestly, I thought the ending was cheesy, and it wasn't that interesting. But, please give me reviews. And please elaborate on why you like or dislike it. I need your help to improve. Thank you.