I'm lazy as hell. Don't mind me. Imma go to sleep. I don't even know what I'm doing. It's completely... gibberish. Yup, that's what it is. Oh well. Leave a review, if you feel like it.
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to their rightful owner(s)
life as it ends
by BigBenMitchell
"The stars look nice tonight," she said, her words were above whispers.
His heart ached and something stabbed him a million times as she said it. He looked over to her and held her hand, as if it could stop the fate -which had been sewn so carefully to be made into a wonderful tragic story he could not face- and try to grasp whatever left of her. Her pale skin, her flowing brown hair, her lips, her swollen yet twinkling blue eyes. How could this magnificent creature be fated to ceased from the earth?
ALS. It was all it takes for him to feel his heart drops to the bottom of his stomach.
She gave him this really soft smile, probably the softest he'd ever seen throughout her whole life, and for a moment, he could live forever. For her. But reality strikes and he knew, he couldn't. She couldn't. But she squeezed her hand so slowly, he barely felt it. He pushed away his tears but couldn't avoid the redness smearing his nose and tip of ears, as he replied her with the same smile.
She's dying. The simple truth.
.
The first time she told him, they were by the beach. It has been only two months since they have reunited -adulthood had separated what was once a high school friendship among six friends. Not that it was intentional- and she was pale as the wind breezes her face. She looked at him with her glassy eyes and something pain throbbed within his chest. The soft waves of sea touched their toes and the sky was just changing its' colors. "I'm sick, Rob," she had told him emotionlessly.
He should have guessed so.
.
She ended up living with him, so he had the privileges to witnessed her last moments.
Her legs gave out first. That was the hardest part for her. "I can't walk again, Robbie. Goddamnit, I can't walk again Robbie!" her tears fell as her body shook within his arms. He bite his tongue from saying anything because he couldn't promised her anything. You're gonna be fine. That's bullshit, and she knows it. So as her legs remained on the floor and she remained in his embrace, she cried. Her whole world was crumbling down before her eyes, and as strong as she tried to be- she's not that strong.
When her hands started giving out on her -the fact she couldn't raise her arms above her head again or holds a pencil for more than 10 minutes only served as evident- she was calmer than before. But still, the pain was obvious on her face. She didn't sob during the nights when she tried to fall asleep, but a tear did rolled down her cheek and her lips did whimpered, "Why?"
"My hand's giving out," she informed him over lunch one day.
He had noticed, but he wouldn't tell her that. She brought the spoon to her mouth and chew the chicken gracefully. "It looks okay," he lied.
"For now, but I can feel it." She told him, her blue eyes are kept on the plate. She knew he was lying, and he was more than grateful when she didn't call him on it. She continued eating, and he drank his tea. After a while, she wiped her mouth with her napkin. She slumped back against her wheelchair -she hated that wheelchair, but there's no other way- and calculates him with the corner of her eyes, "What happens then?"
You're still not going to be fine. You're still going to die. He lifted his gaze at her, "I'm still going to be here."
"Good."
.
Micaela Shapiro has long curly brown hair, olive skin and the same brown eyes like his father. She was the product of him and his ex-wife, who was in Paris when the drama was all happening. Micaela loves his papa and Jade -there's tons of pictures in crayons of them together, hands in hands in stick figures, where he gladly stick to their refrigerator. Jade even smiles when she saw it the first time.
But even a six years old could sense something was wrong when it is, "Papa."
He looked down, trying to smile for his baby girl.
"When is Jade going to be okay? She's always sick. I don't want her to be sick." Micaela's lips trembled and she brought the back of her hand to her eyes, "I don't want her to die."
Rob hugged her tightly and cried with her.
"I don't know baby," His voice breaks, "I just don't know."
.
By month of 17, she could barely speaks. And based on her breathing? He would have guessed it's hard too.
He grabbed his hand and rubbed her cold knuckles with his thumb. She smiled at him, and through those blue eyes, she told him how thankful she is. He nodded his head because he had understood her, and normally, at other circumstances, he'd be happy to understand Jade-bloody-West without words required, but now... Now he felt empty. Nothing. He felt hopeless.
He closed his eyes and brought her hands close to his face. He promised her not to cry again. He promised her to be strong, especially in front of Micaela. He promised not to be a wimp and grow a pair (He kind of smiled at that- even after all these months, she still had her fire burning within her, a spirit to fight back, an attitude she couldn't get rid so easily. She's a true warrior). She lets out a weak scoff, and rolled her eyes. "You're a loser."
And yeah. He should have felt offended, but he didn't. Her voice, it was like music to his ear.
Music that would be gone in matter of months, or weeks, or days even.
So he laughed, and she laughed quietly too. (When their souls are really crying in fear.)
.
He remembered the time when he brought Jade to the beach with Micaela. Jade's leg was just beginning to lose their muscles, so when she walked, she mostly leaned on Robbie for support. He put his arms around her, guiding her through her walk. They had a chat, about nothing really. He smiled and she enjoyed the calming feeling. Micaela's ringing laughter echoed in the air as she ran her little foot away in front of the two.
Robbie had shouted over the splashing waves for Micaela to be careful and Jade casually added, "Yeah baby. We don't want you to hurt yourself alright?" Micaela only partially turned herself and nodded her head, seemingly to run faster.
"You look like a very nice family," an old woman said suddenly as she came with her old husband.
Robbie blinked. What was he supposed to say-
"Thank you," Jade nodded.
He spared her a glance and raised his eyebrows suspiciously, but Jade's eyes are trained on the old happy couple.
"You got a good one there," the jolly husband said, grabbing his wife close to him. "Keep 'em safe."
And Robbie's heart swelled with nothing but warmness as he copied the older man's move, holding Jade closer to his body. "I will. Thank you."
(Oh. If they only knew the true.)
.
"Jade, is it true you're going to fly and stay with God forever now?" Micaela asked timidly, sitting at her bed and moving her feet that wasn't touching the ground back and forth, back and forth.
Jade was silent for a while, observing the little one she had grew to love. "Not now, but maybe soon."
"That's sad. I don't want you to go," Micaela told her. The six years old, going on seven in a couple of months, no longer cried like she used to. Somehow, along the way, she must have picked up some of Jade's trait. The trait to be the stronger one, to be tough, to be as solid as you could be. (Unlike her father who she could still hear silently cried himself for what he will lost). "But daddy said God loves you more, that's why he wanted you back in heaven with Him. I guess I'd have to understand..."
Oh well, she wasn't sure about that. Jade haven't done nothing in her life but the worst of things. Only the few remaining months of her life does she learned to be a decent human being. Oh, how the world spins in a funny way. "You're such a brave little girl. Small, but stronger than ten men combined. Will you make sure your papa's okay after I'm gone?"
Micaela's straight lips turned into a frown. "Papa will be very sad when you're gone, Jade."
"I know, baby girl," she stops to sink in breathes. Breathing and talking at the same time seemed to be harder these days, "That's why I'm counting on you. Could you do that? Make sure your papa's okay after I'm gone? I believe in you, Ella."
Micaela's smiled at her words. Slowly, she nodded her head. "Okay. I'll try my best. For you."
.
He bent down to kiss her on the forehead, brushing a strain of her dark hair behind. "Is it wrong for me to say it?"
She went silent, because normally- Yes, it's very wrong.
But-,"Say it." She whispered, her stares were burning holes through him.
He can't decide whether to cry or kiss her, so he did neither. Instead, he choked. "I love you."
She nodded her head, resting her eyes for sleeping. "I love you too."
.
He was fetching Micaela from school one day, and the little girl of his had just won her first coloring contest. She had gotten a hamper, a huge one, and her face was tomato-red from all the excitement and adrenaline rushing through her veins. Her mouth was chattering away of all of those impossible feelings cause it felt way too good to let it all in, and he just laughed the whole ride back to their apartment.
He unlocked the apartment and Micaela was jumping where she was standing, "I can't wait to tell Jade, papa!"
He nodded his head. Of course. And told her he would be joining her once he sent those pictures he had took -she looked so tiny next to the hamper- to her mama, his ex-wife. After all, that woman deserves to know what her daughter had achieved. She ran her way to Jade's bedroom as soon as the door was unlock. Robbie shook his head and went through his Blackberry...
...when he noticed there was a lot of calls from House. Which could only mean either Jade was calling them, which she couldn't for these past couples of weeks, or their personal nurse he had hired called him. And he had only ordered Nurse Porter to call him if...
He turned around, his daughter was standing before him with eyes red and was crying her head off, screaming about something that couldn't go through his head and Nurse Porter standing behind her.
The looks Nurse Porter was giving him...
He fell to his knee.
That's it.
She's dead.
.
Three years later, Robbie stands in front of the grave that somehow shines to him like nothing else. Jadelyn Elizabeth West, July 26, 1993 - April 18, 2024. The roses he just lay on her grave would make her proud or something, and he kind of smiled at that. He looks down at his feet and shakes his head. He's such a loser sometimes.
The wind blows and he breathes in deeply. Jade.
"Papa, we need to go." Micaela's soft voice brought him back to the earth. He turned around, his baby girl smiling brightly back at him. She still looks the same, just shorter hair than when she was much younger. Her eyes still glint with mischievous, but there's a fire burning, dancing behind those brown eyes of hers. A faint memory of what he used to saw just a few years ago. He smiles wider at her.
Micaela tilts her head to the side, narrowing her eyes at her father. "Papa! We need to take my little brother home today!"
Oh that's right. He's adopting a little kid today. Dion, his name is. Four years old, with dark brown hair, pale skin and bright blue eyes. Does it remind you of someone? Robbie laughs and comes to hug his daughter. Micaela shrieks with giggles and try to duck her head when he attacks her temple to kiss. "Papa!"
"What? A father can't kiss his beloved daughter now?"
She beams at the older man, "Only if you buy me a new-,"
"There's always a new something, right?" Robbie rolls his eyes and shakes his head, but a smile still lingers on his lips.
Micaela leans her head to his chest as she responds back to what her father just said. Their paces moves evenly together, walking out of the graveyard. Leaving white roses laying on the grave of someone they once knew and loved (still loves). Micaela turns around one last time and nods her head ever so slightly.
We're doing okay, Jade. Thank you.
The wind only blows.
-Fin-