I was crazy when I wrote this. Can't be bothered. MUAHAHA! Sometimes you just got to write little, crazy crawly fics you know? Lol, I really loved writing this. ANYTHING is possible. And I MEAN anything!

Full Summary: We will reveal the kidnapper of Draco's frilly pink knickers, discover Hermione's reasons of burning down the library and figure out why Voldy owns a pink castle. We will also finally understand where the babies come from, the stork, duck, or the chicken? Also includes, Snape admitting to being an over sized bat, Dumbledore being obsessed with tea, a 70's style Ron, and Seamus and Dean, who are really not important…

Enjoy!

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Who Stole My Pink Knickers?! Part 1

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It was a dark, dark night, lit only by neon green clouds and purple rainbows that could be seen well from the pink castle of Lord Voldy.

Voldy: I am so incredibly bored. * Takes out note pad * hmm, let's seeeee. Bring terror to the Wizarding world? Check. Wreak havoc on unsuspecting muggles? Check. Tease Lucius Malfoy about his stuffed teddy bear? Check. Ah, I am so incredibly bored. What to do? * Thinks, then a neon green light bulb appears over his head. * I got it! I still didn't play Truth or Dare with the Hogwarts students! * Light-bulb falls* ouch…

* Meanwhile in a land, far, far away next door… *

Hairy: Hey Ron! Let's do our Divination homework!

Ronniekiens: Ya man! Live long and prosper!

Hairy:…right. Let's see, next month I'll get really, really drunk and do unearthly things with McGonnagall!

Ronniekiens: Dude, that is so totally kewl man! O, next week I'll show the whole school my frilly, pink knickers!

Hairy: Ooo, the ones with little hearts on them?

Ronniekiens: Ya, wait a second, didn't you borrow them?

Hairy: * rubs the back of his neck * sorry man, I used them to hide my ecstasy stash.

Ronniekiens: * shrugs * it was worth it.

Sevvie: * appears out of mid air *400 POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!

Hairy/Ronniekiens: Why?

Sevvie: Potter- for not giving me some pot and Weasley- for not giving me the frilly, pink knickers you promised!

Hairy: ah man!

Ronniekiens: Harry is currently borrowing them dude.

Sevvie: Oh? But what about the ones with the cute, little red flowers?

Ronniekiens: The burned down when Hermione set the Library on fire. Peace out man…

Sevvie: She did WHAT?! That'll be another 200 points from Gryffindor!

Hairy: But you already took 400 off!

Sevvie: Good point. 500 POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!

Drakey: * appears out of mid air * Who * uses low, dangerous I-will-kill-you-if-you-don't-tell-me-who-stole-my-frilly-pink-knickers voice * stole my frilly, pink knickers?

Ronniekiens: Malfoy! How did you get here!

Drakey: * blinks * Well, you see Weasley, when a man and a woman love each other…

Then, suddenly a crowd of horny Gryffindors surrounds him.

Gin-Gin: But, mum told me that the stork brings babies…

Seamus, who is not important: She lied, ducks bring them…

Drakey: * looks quizzically at them and continues his 'story' *

Crowd of horny Gryffindors: * listen intently *

Then, Hermione approaches Harry, Ron, and Snape.

Mione: Hi guys!

Sevvie: 50 points from Gryffindor!

Mione: WHY?

Sevvie: For calling ME a GUY! Can't you see that I am an over grown bat?!

Mione: okay…anyway, Professor Dumbledore said Voldemort is coming for tea later. AND a game of truth or dare.

Drakey: And when the egg…what? We're playing Truth or Dare?! Yey!

Voldy: * appears out of mid air * Greetings…MUAHAHA!

Hairy: What is it with Slytherins appearing out of mid air?

Voldy: Us Slytherins use special portkeys that are common in Belgium that bring us to the Gryffindor Common Room.

Hairy: oooOOOoooh.

Ronniekiens: MUAHAHA?

Voldy: * shrugs * seemed fitting…anywhoo, let's play Truth or Dare!

Dumbledore then walks in.

Bumblebore: Tea anyone?

Crowd of horny Gryffindors: YEY!

Dean, who is even less important than Seamus: * groans * tea gives me gas… * gets funny looks * What?! It does!

Voldy: * whines * but I want to play Truth or Dare!

Lucius Malfoy then appears out of mid air.

Drakey: What are you doing here?

Lucy: * speaks in Darth Vader voice* I am your father.

Drakey: ?

Ronniekiens: Sorry to burst your bubble my man, but we kind of already knew that…

Mione: * shakes in horror *

Hairy: Are you okay Hermione?

Mione: * gulps * I, I have S, StarWarsophobia…

All: ………

Lucy: AS I WAS SAYING! * gets back his Darth Vader voice * I AM your father!

Gin-Gin: Oh, so you're the one that ordered the stork?

Seamus, who is not important: Duck!

Gin-Gin: Stork!

Seamus, who is not important: Duck!

Gin-Gin: Stork!

Seamus, who is not important: Duck!

Gin-Gin: Stork!

Seamus, who is not important: Duck!

Gin-Gin: STORK!

Seamus, who is not important: DUCK!

Mione: SHUT UP! Don't you ever read Babies: A History? Huge, green chickens bring babies!

Gin-Gin, Seamus, who is not important: oooOOOoooh.

Voldy: Enough! I order you all to play Truth or Dare NOW!

The crowd of horny Gryffindors, Ginny, Seamus, Dean, Ron, Harry, Hermione, Draco, Snape and Dumbledore all obey and make a big circle.

Voldy: Oh goody! I'll start! Let's see…Potter! Truth or Dare!

Hairy: Uhm…truth?

Drakey: chicken, chicken, Potter is a chicken.

Hairy: * clogs Draco * fine, Dare.

Voldy: MUAHAHA! I dare you to…

Sevvie: Dance around in frilly, pink knickers?

Voldy: Nah, too unoriginal. I know! You have to dance around in a LACEY, BLACK THONG! MUAHAHA!

Hairy, Ronniekiens, and Mione: * gasp *

Hairy: I refuse!

Voldy: HOW DARE YOUR REFUSE LORD VOLDEMORT!

Sevvie: 4000 POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!

Voldy: AVADA KEDAVRA!

Hairy: * turns to dust *

Voldy: well, since that's taken care of…

Bumblebore: Tea anyone?

All: OKEY DOKEY!

Bumblebore: * takes out cute, orange cups and pours in blue powdered tea to everyone. *

Mione: * passes Lucy his cup *

Lucy: EEEEWWW! ICKY, YUCKY MUDBLOOD GERMS! GET THEM OFF! GET THEM OFF! * Runs away *

Drakey: * clears throat * You did not answer my question by the way…

All: Huh?

Drakey: WHO STOLE MY FRILLY, PINK KNICKERS?!?

All: * whistle innocently *

Drakey: * leaves to sit in a dark corner * I will have my revenge. MUAHAHA!

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Yey! I just LOVE humor fics! Flames will be used as Draco's revenge! Hope you enjoyed it! Please read my other fics as well and send me cookies and lollipops because I am sick! WAAAA! This fic will also be very slow on updates because I have three others to write. My next update will probably be on the 'Secrets of the Potions Master' fic.

Hope you liked the fic!

REVIEW!!!!!!