This Is Thirty

by FanaticallyFranticWritings

Rachel Berry made rash decisions in leaving Broadway and heading to L.A. to become a failed TV star. She ended up back at McKinley teacher Drama and coaching glee club. She's not unhappy but she's not happy then Quinn Fabray rolls back into town with a teenage daughter, three year old son, and a job at McKinley. Thirty just got a whole lot more interesting.

1. Chapter 1

Title: This is thirty

Rating: R for adult situations and drug use

Tagline: And you thought being 16 was bad

Summary: Rachel Berry made rash decisions in leaving Broadway and heading to L.A. to become a failed TV star. She ended up back at McKinley teacher Drama and coach Glee Club, funding the art programs with the money she made and heft donations from New Directions Alumni. She's not unhappy but she's not happy then Quinn Fabray rolls back into town with a teenage daughter, three year old son, and a job at McKinley.

Universe Info: Quinn and Puck never gave up Beth and raised her. She would be about fifteen if I'm correct if not...I meant to do it because it's AU. Quinn and Puck get a divorce before Quinn moves back to Lima. Rachel and Finn got married before Rachel went to college and he went to the military. Finn returned and moved in with Rachel and Kurt, Rachel became pregnant shortly after her nineteenth birthday. Finn became a stay at home dad while Rachel was at school then when she hit Broadway. Finn passed away from a mysterious illness when their son was seven months old.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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I remember it as if it were yesterday, it was actually this morning, and I walked into my Drama II classroom smiling at the familiar students before I almost fainted. In the front row wearing black skinny jeans, a baby blue and white button down shirt that lazily clung to her slender frame, and her blond hair was perfectly effortless. It was Quinn Fabray sitting before me again and I felt fifteen all over again, I was very self-conscious and wanted to walk away but I didn't. She stood up with cool confidence and walked up to my desk with a bored expression as she extended a slip of paper in my direction.

"I'm Beth Puckerman, I'm new. I just moved here from Hollywood."

I blinked, "B-Beth?"

"Yeah...Beth." She spoke with the same raspy voice the Quinn had arching the eyebrow trademark from both of her parents, "hello?"

I smile, "you don't remember me. I'm Rachel Berry, I was friends with your parents. My husband was very close to your dad."

I watch her smile before it fades quickly and she puts her sunglasses on,

"That's cool. What have I missed?"

I stared at her, "we're discussing Hamlet."

"Righteous."

She walks out of the classroom as the late bell rang. I sat there for a long moment, noticing some of the girls and guys giggle at her behavior and I didn't catch the joke.

"Excuse me."

I hurried out, she reminded me of Noah and I wanted to whack her on the head and drag her by the ear back into the room. I cut down the hall whisper shouting her name getting more and more irritated. I stomped my foot, stopping in front of a classroom whispering shouting once more.

"Rachel?"

I turned to see Quinn standing in a classroom, "you."

I watched her eyes widen as she smiled at the class then stepped into the hall closing the door, leaving her hand on the knob.

"What's wrong?"

I hugged her, "where the hell have you been?"

"California," she hugged me tightly, "I missed you."

"I missed you too," I whispered meaning it more than anything I had said that morning.

She straightened up, "Do you need help with something?"

"Your daughter is...she walked out of my class."

Quinn swore taking her phone out of her random pocket in her dress, "she's going to be the death of me."

She put the phone to her ear with her other hand on her hip and he eyebrow on the attack. She was in full on terrorist mode and I felt like I was going back to high school too many times in ten minutes.

"Beth, do you want me to call your father?" Quinn's eyes doubled in size, "what did you just say to me? Go to class." She closed her eyes, "no, no one cares about P.E."

I watched Quinn hang up as Beth stepped out of the bathroom and walked up to us, her hair platinum blond and her eyebrows her dark. I had the distinct feeling she was Tumblr famous because of those perfectly shaped eyebrows.

"Say you're sorry and go to class."

Beth continued walking by us, "You're sorry and go to class."

"Smart ass little tyrant. I'm taking your phone tonight."

"I don't care."

Quinn snarled before regaining her famous composure to turn and glance at me,

"I have to get back to class. I promise she's not a bad student but I wouldn't leave her alone with your classroom for too long."

I stared at her, "What?"

"I'll see you later."

Later comes in the form of a text I got about an hour after practice from Santana letting me know that she, Brittany, and Quinn were coming over for dinner. I am nervous, very nervous. Quinn Fabray is the girl I always wanted, I was in love with Finn but if I couldn't have him I knew that I could see myself with Quinn. She's smart, talented, beautiful, and perfect leading woman material. She was always so different from Finn, every time we dated it was an amazing adventure of fighting and love making and running away together versus sitting on the couch with Finn and watching ESPN. I will never love anyone the way I love Finn but I will never love anyone the way I love someone else.

"Mom?"

"Yes, sweetie?"

I watch my tall and lanky eleven year old son Alfie come down the steps almost tripping over his feet. He looks so much like his father, his eyes are a few shades lighter and he keeps his hair styled. He's just as tall as his father, his voice is changing and it cracked every few words he said. I think it's adorable and it drives him nuts, just because he can pass for a teenager doesn't mean he is.

"Why do I have to wear a tie?" He speaks in a whiney tone, "I know Santana and Brittany."

I fix his hair, "please get a haircut."

"I like my hair this length. I can style it."

I smile at him, "such a handsome boy. Change your shirt and wash your face. Your shirt has a ketchup stain."

"You noticed?"

He walks up the stairs muttering under his breath and I roll my eyes, he's becoming smarter every day and not in a good way. Santana walks into the living room with five year old twin boys behind her arguing. She looks exhausted and ready to collapse.

"Okay boys, go talk to Alfie. Go play with his Apocalypse Forever crap."

The boys run up the stairs and Santana exhales slowly following down on the couch. She props her feet up and her head cocks to the side as she closes her eyes.

"Brittany left last minute because she's doing a Mercedes video and I wish she had taken them with her. They've been yelling for thirty minutes."

I smile at her, "Alfie is great with them."

I gesture and it's silent all around us, she grins rubbing her hands together.

"I want to leave them here forever. Quinn's on her way in. Beth is a bitch, Quinn sized." Santana crosses her legs, "if Puck had money growing up and tits he would have been Beth."

I sit down, crossing my legs, "so she's Quinn?"

"But she's not a bad ass because of daddy issues. She's just a punk."

I lean in, "what happened?"

Before she opens her mouth a small boy with curly blond hair walks into the house wearing little dress slacks with suspenders and a black bow tie. He walks up to me, staring at me with huge hazel eyes and a curious look.

"You do look like Belle." He whispers getting closer to me, "I'm Charlie Puckerman."

I smile, "I'm Rachel Berry."

He laughs and moves closer to hug me and he's the sweetest person I've met in the last six months. I look up at Beth as she walks into the house.

"Stop being a spaz, Squirt. Get over here."

Charlie walks over, "you a spaz."

"Hi, Miss. Berry." Beth monotones as she sits down, "you have a lovely home."

Quinn walks inside and smacks Beth on the back of the head making her sit up straight, "I swear she's house broken." She looks at me then stares down at Beth, "stop embarrassing me or I'll send you to boarding school."

"You always say that and no matter how hard I tried I'm still Ohio. Lima, Ohio." Beth stands up putting down Charlie, "text me when I have to come back."

We watch her walk out and close the door. Santana gestures and Quinn sits down picking up Charlie to sit in her lap. He places his thumb in his mouth and she starts moving fingers over the curls.

"She's skank Quinn all the time."

Quinn cuts her eyes at Santana, "she's misunderstood."

"So are you."

"Mom!" Alfie stumbles down the stairs, "I'm okay. Is this shirt okay?"

Quinn looks at him, "oh my God."

"I know," Santana whispers, "it's freaky."

I walk over and look at his shirt, "wonderful. Sweetie, Quinn has an older daughter maybe you can go introduce yourself."

"Why?" He looks at Quinn, "I'm Alfred Phineas Berry-Hudson, it is an absolute pleasure to meet you. Mother has spoken very highly of you since she came home, it is rare that she doesn't exaggerate. I believed that Auntie Tana was sweet under her tough exterior." Alfie's eyebrows go way up as he makes a face, "not exactly so."

Quinn shakes his hand then Charlie mimics her but makes no attempt to move. Alfie pushes his hair back and walked outside. Santana looks at me, rolling her eyes.

"You just sent your son into the trenches."

I shrug, "he's a lot like Finn. Maybe she'll like him."

"She loved Finn so much." Quinn smiles softly, "she keeps pictures of him around."

I smile at the memories of Finn taking pictures with Beth at the park, babysitting her every chance he got. He use to tell me that she made him want kids more and more every time he got to spend time with her. He always spent more time in Lima than I did with Puck and Beth while Quinn was at Yale. For four years he was her uncle Finn and her third favorite person in the world.

I knell in front of Charlie, "do you want to go meet some other kids?"

"Yes, please."

Santana claps her hands, "Brett! Ben!"

The twin boys run down the stairs and smile at Charlie taking both of his hands to lead him with them up the stairs. I gesture for the two of them to follow me into the kitchen. I pour three glasses of wine watching Quinn sit at the table with wide sad eyes placing her fingers on her chest.

"Quinn?" Santana sits beside her, "what's been going on?"

Beth POV

I hate it here, it's boring and it took me all day to get cigarettes and my dad is in Hollywood. I remember Rachel Berry because I remember Finn Hudson, I remember the way he use to smile and pick me up and call me Drizzle and how it drove mother insane. Dad told me what happened last year and I was pissed at them both for so long. I don't know why. Maybe it's because they lied to him and got his hopes up, I could tell by the way dad talked about it that it was a bad situation for everyone involved. I don't like to think about Uncle Finn too much, it makes me sad and then I want to break something. My mom says that I have emotional problems that I probably inherited from her, she sent me to a shrink for a while but things got worse and she got upset when he attempted to medicate me incorrectly. I broke into his office and trashed it, it was very satisfying to be in control of something.

"Are you Beth?"

I stare up, "who the hell are you?"

"Alfred Phineas Berry-Hudson, nice too meet you."

He looks like Uncle Finn and it's freaky, his face is softer and he looks more like a baby but I swear to God its Uncle Finn. He sits beside me and extends his hand,

"You can call my Alfie. I would say my friends call me Alfie but they don't. They call me Freddie and I hate it."

I take his hand, "Beth Puckerman."

"You're the tyrant."

I laugh blowing smoke toward the ground and flicking the cigarette across the street.

"That's me. A tyrant."

He smiles, "that's cool. I'm the quarterback."

"Kind of small aren't you?"

He stops smiling, "I'm the tallest kid in middle school that includes the eighth graders."

"I meant weight, smart one."

"Oh," he nods while smiling, "yeah but I have amazing accuracy and I'm super-fast. I've only been sacked once. You have amazing eyebrows."

I quirk one slowly, "you are so weird kid."

"Ah yes, I've been told I have an unusual energy. "He nods seriously, "grandma says it's because I have the best and weirdest qualities of my parents stored deep inside of me."

I tune him out and light a joint as he continues talking. He talks a lot, fast, and barely takes a breath. If I wasn't against kids getting stoned I would blow smoke in his face. I lie back against the grass and he mimics my motions. I go in and out as he talks about Broadway, football, and starting his own rock n roll band. After ten minutes of this shit I sit up and put my fingers in my hair pushing it back.

"Why are you still talking, dude?"

He sits up immediately, "I apologize deeply, did you come out here to think? My mom thought it would be nice for us to get to know each other since we're the oldest kids here and

"Stop. Talking. We can hang out or whatever but stop talking."

He moves his fingers over his lips, "and throw away the key."

"Alfie."

"Right, no more talking. This could be the begi

"Dude, shut up or I'm going to make you eat dirt."

He falls silent still smiling at me and I'm positive he's nuts and that high school is going to suck for this kid. No good can come from someone so verbose and lanky. I lie back against the grass and he joins, putting his hands behind his head. I miss California already, the smell of the ocean and getting crazy on the beach. I miss hanging out with my dad and skateboarding with him around Paramount. I miss my best friend more than everything else though, she was just awesome. I didn't even get to say goodbye.

"Beth Marie Puckerman."

I look up though my eyes are closed, "is that you mom?"

"This is my cue."

I open my eyes and watch Alfie scurry to the house. I stand up and see that my mom's been crying but I won't ask her about since she went through the effort to put on makeup so she could cover it up. I knock the cherry out the joint and pocket the roach. She reaches over and grabs my ear.

"Did you get him high?"

"Child abuse, child abuse. I'll scream." I try to get free but she squeezes tighter, "no. Of course I didn't. I'm not the one that sent him out here."

She releases me, "it is so obvious."

"No it's not," I put on my sunglasses, "let's rock this joint, ma."

She puts her hand out, "give me your phone."

"Take it," I hand it to her and start walking to the house, "let's not embarrass you in front of the locals. No more than the tabloids already have anyway."

I wish I hadn't said it as soon as I hear her gasp. I stop walking, waiting until she walks by me with her head up high and shoulders back. She's in defense mode. I hate hurting her feelings. I just can't control it. I blame her and I blame dad. I blame them both for just being shitty. If I have to feel shitty every day until college then so do they.

"Beth, you can sit between Alfie and Santana."

I pull the chair out and slouch down, "solid."

"Someone smells like Woodstock."

I look at Santana, "yeah? You remember being there old lady?"

"Quinn, I'm going to puncture your child in the throat with my fork."

My mom sits down, "take off your sunglasses, sit up, and stop making people want to kill you."

I roll my eyes and push my sunglasses up to hold my hair out of my face.

"Rock 'n' roll."

Quinn

Beth spends much of dinner pushing her food around and laughing at whatever Alfie was saying to her. I want to be mad but it's the happiest she's looked in a very long time. She smiled at him carefully and nudge him softly and he embraced it happily. And the way he hugged her before we left was beautiful but she's still grounded. I accepted last year that I wouldn't be able to stop the pot or the cigarettes because I was her age once and I got pregnant and did so many other things, some of it my mom still doesn't know about. The things I did with Rachel alone would be enough for me to never yell at Beth but I get a certain satisfaction from watching her take the electronics out of her room and put them into the hall closet. I lean in the door as she sits in her bed with her arms crossed and her left foot resting on top of a box.

"We've been here a week, you need to unpack."

She nods, "yeah, I'll do it tomorrow."

"Today is yesterday's tomorrow. Get started, tomorrow is Saturday. You can stay up."

I walk in and sit down at the foot of her bed, she turns her head away to stare at the wall.

"We're not going back, Beth. We're staying here and if you want to go in the summer or after graduation that's okay but we're not going back."

She looks at me, tears in her eyes, "but why here? You said it, everything you ever cared about died here. So why come back?"

"This is home."

"It's not my home."

I rest my face in my hand, "where is home? California? Hanging out at studios and getting into things you shouldn't even know about? Getting arrested?"

I spit the last word out in anger as she clenched her jaw and stares down at the ground, tears starting to roll down her cheeks.

"Growing up here will be better for you. It goes at a slower pace. Hollywood isn't for kids."

She looks at me, "then you should have thought about that before moving there."

"And we didn't. That's our fault." I stand up, "unpack."

I walk out closing the door behind me, jumping when I hear something slam against it. There are times where I call my mother to apologize for being a teenager. Had I known that the karma would be this intense I would have behaved a tad bit better. I walk into Charlie's room and he's jumping in the bed watching cartoons with a wide eyed stare.

"Bedtime."

"No." He continues jumping, "please."

I go over and catch him midjump, "nope, it's time for night night."

"Not sleepy."

He murmurs putting his thumb in his mouth as I start swaying from side to side, singing quietly in his ear. He's so easy to put to sleep, he's very easy to deal with. I'm surprised that he's not as hyper as Beth use to be or as loud or as troublesome. He explores in his make belief world and occasionally draws on the walls. Beth cut a square out of the wall one morning, I still don't know why or how she came up with the idea but she did it. My five year was holding a saw and cutting a square into the wall. Things got so bad after Finn died, having to explain to her and the way she ran up to the coffin when they closed it. Some nights she wakes up crying and comes into my room, she's always gone before I wake up and she won't talk about it. She'll tell me she had "the dream" and go to sleep, some nights she sleeps in Charlie's floor. It's always worse when summer hits, every time it gets closer to the day Puck and I got the call she becomes more and more reckless, angry, and criminal minded. I don't know where it came from, she's nothing like Puck. She's smarter than he was. She's nothing like me because she's stronger than I've ever been. I see battle scars on her, the way she forces a half smile or that look when she's mentally gone from the conversation and wanders away. I always go looking for her but the cops bring her home first or call me from the hospital because they found her passed out somewhere.

"Goodnight, sweet prince."

I kiss his forehead as I put him down and turn off the light then the television. I plug in his nightlight and flip the switch walking out the room, cracking the door. I walk toward Beth's room and listen to her shuffling around inside talking angrily to herself, as long as she's angry in her room then it doesn't matter. I go downstairs and step outside to smoke a cigarette, a horrible habit I picked up college, and call my mom.

"Quinnie, hey there dear. How was the first day?"

"Have I apologized for my childhood today?"

She laughs, "Is Beth still giving you a hard time?"

"When isn't she?" I pause, "I'm so worried about her."

"She's just being a teenager. All you can do is try to keep her out of as much trouble as possible." She chuckles, "do you remember dropping Beth off and you had pink hair and a nose ring?"

"And a tattoo that was a bitch to remove. Yeah, I remember. But, you know she's different."

"Have you ever read 'Rumble Fish'?"

"No, saw the movie with Mercedes and Mike though."

"Beth reminds me of The Motorcycle Boy."

"Did you know she wants one? Over my dead body."

She laughs, "Yes, she told me. But there is something the dad says about The Motorcycle Boy. He says, 'every now and then, a person comes along, has a different view of the world than does the usual person'."

"I know she's not crazy."

"No, you know she's special and that can drive you a little crazy."

"Have you been taking mushrooms with the Walrus again?"

"That's beside the point. The point is, she's going to be okay. She's going to make mistakes and you're going to have to be there for her regardless. You won't make the same mistakes I did."

"Mom."

"No. It's true. I love you, Quinn and you're going to be okay. And so is The Motorcycle Girl."

I laugh, "I love you too, mom. Thank you."

"Come over tomorrow. We can have lunch and talk about this Ducati that she wants."

I hang up and put the cigarette out, leaving the butt in the planted pot. I walk into the house and go into the kitchen where Beth is sitting on the counter eating a bowl of cereal. I raise an eyebrow until she moves and sits at the table.

"What are you doing?"

I start making coffee, "I was talking to mom."

"Oh," she looks at me, "how is she?"

"She's fine." I look at her, "how are you?"

"Fine. Eating cereal because Miss. Berry actually serves tofu to people."

I smile at her, resting my hand on top of her head then leaning down to press a kiss to the top of her head, "clean up your mess."

"Sorry," she stops moving, "for the tabloid comment. I didn't mean it. I shouldn't have said anything."

I shrug, "its fine. It's not exactly a secret your dad left me for Kitty Wilde."

"I hate that woman." She stands up with her bowl, "and when dad starts banging the next star in his new movie she'll see how stupid she is."

I move to finish setting up the coffee pot before sitting down, "don't hate him."

"I couldn't if I tried, mother." She drinks from the bowl, "I'm pissed about it, yeah but he's still my dad. You guys stopped loving each other a long time ago."

She pours more cereal into the bowl and walks out of the kitchen. Kids know too damn much.

[][][][]

I leave Beth with Charlie the next morning when I go to the store, some people from high school speak and some ask for autographs. I spent a little time acting, Artie wrote and directed an epic movie trilogy that I starred in by default. He couldn't pay everyone upfront and promised that if it was a hit that everyone would get paid. That counted out a lot of Hollywood but it ended up being the best idea, a movie full of unknowns becoming superstars overnight. From twenty-two to twenty-six I played, according The New York Times, the most loveable and enigmatic evil queen in the last twenty years. I haven't acted since, I wanted another child and Beth was travelling too much forming friendships with people older than her and growing attachments to a world that I didn't want to be her forever. It's nice having worked on a film that promises I'll never have to work again but having a normal family is nicer.

"We meet again." Alfie stands before with a goofy grin before bowing, "pleasantries are in order my Queen."

I laugh as he quotes the movie with a wonderful accent before he stands and grins.

"Apocalypse Forever is the best movie I've ever seen. I was going to mention it last night but I was distracted entertaining Beth. Is she here by any chance?"

I blink slowly as Rachel comes out of Finn's mouth, hiding the fact I'm freaked out by it, "she's at home with Charlie. So, you two hit it off?"

"Absolutely. She threatened to make me eat dirt but I think it was her way of saying we're chums."

I stare at him wearing his red and white William McKinley Jr. High football jersey with the number 5 on the center of it with a white shirt under it, faded jeans, and black sneakers. Rachel comes up behind him and hugs his side.

"Soy milk, Alfie."

He smacks his forehead, "oh yeah. I knew I was supposed to be doing something."

He hurries off and I just watch him.

"I know. It's crazy." Rachel speaks softly, "it's like he never left."

I nod, "I think that's why Beth likes him. I can tell. I asked her what she thought of him and she said, 'righteous, mom, righteous'."

Rachel laughs and I feel my stomach start to flop, I look at her and she smiles. She's aged well, looking like the same twenty-one year old girl I saw leaving California for the last time. I remember seeing the picture of Instagram with a cheesy heartwarming caption of her flying out. Puck was said, so was Artie, and I just accepted it. Rachel and I couldn't be friends after things ended all those years ago. It ended so swiftly and so badly then the last few months of high school became someone else's memories.

"Soy!" Alfie runs up, "mom, come on. I have voice lessons then I'm going to train with freaking Duke Anderson!"

He grabs the cart and Rachel hands him a card from her purse and he hurries to the front of the store.

"Who is freaking Duke Anderson?" I quirk an eyebrow, "his name is Duke?"

Rachel laughs, "Yes. He's quarterback for the Titans, he's only a sophomore and scouts are already looking at him, and he's my son's mentor."

"Mentor?"

"Alfie is a very talented football player. The high school decided to start mentoring younger players when Alfie started getting attention in pee wee league in order to keep him from wanting to go to a private school for high school."

I walk with her to the front, "that's impressive. But what makes Duke so special?"

"I have no idea. I wasn't popular in high school. I didn't really see what was so special about any of the jocks."

She speaks with a teasing tone that makes me blush. I start using the self-checkout keeping my head down so my hair covers my cheeks.

"We are ready for lift off, mother." Alfie mimics the sound of a walkie talkie, "Beth can come if she wants Mrs.

I look up, "Quinn, call me Quinn. I'll let her know."

"That's great. She's really cool, mom. I mean, she's like James Dean cool and that's impressive considering most chicks talk about make up."

He pushes the cart out the store and Rachel starts walking backwards.

"I'll see you later, Quinn."

I look in her eyes, "just call me."

Rachel

Until you've been looked in the eyes by Quinn Fabray you don't know what it feels like to feel like the only person in the room. I walk into someone and blush turning to head out of the store. I hurry over to the car and pop the trunk so Alfie could put away the bags.

"I can't believe I know Queen Atlantis. Do you think she'll sign my sword?"

I nod, "if you ask nice enough."

"Awesome."

We get in the car and I start driving toward the house listening to him start singing 'Wanted (Dead or Alive)' as long as he can. He sounds a lot like Finn on the notes where his voice doesn't crack, his voice is a bit stronger and he can hit notes that Finn use to practice on for hours with little to no effort. I smile as he air drums and bobs his head, pushing his hair off his forehead.

"Could dad play this?"

I nod, "he used to love this song. He loved a lot of classic rock. Rock of Ages was his favorite musical."

"Yeah? That movie sucks."

"No, the play. We went to see the play a few times." I smile at him, "he loved it. He use to sleep in the shirt."

He takes out his small notepad starting to write down what I'm saying. Alfie has a habit of writing down everything anyone tells him about Finn. He likes to ask a lot of questions and likes to hear stories, all of them. The good and the bad. He said that if his dad was going to be his hero he needed his origin story. He keeps Finn's yearbook picture of him in front of the blue background with a football beside a poster of Superman. He had the picture blown up to poster size and put in a picture frame last year so he could keep it forever.

"Can I ask you something?"

I nod, "you know you can."

"When dad got sick, was it bad?"

I shake my head, "he had a really bad night three weeks before and ended up in the hospital. The day he died he was fine, he was playing with you, and he purchased plane tickets to fly here to visit his mom."

"What happened?"

"I don't know."

I speak softly unable to let out the words because he's too to know the whole story. I pull into the driveway and get out the car. He gets out and walks behind the car looking at me.

"I know that you guys didn't really know but what was it?"

I open the trunk, "subarachnoid hemorrhage."

"Oh." He writes it down, "I'll put the groceries up. Duke and his friend Matty are picking me up early. Can I skip vocal training today?"

I nod, "sure. I'm going to walk down to Santana's."

"Okay."

I walk down the sidewalk as the memory plays in my mind. Kurt and Blaine picked up Alfie because they were going to watch him while Finn and I were in Lima visiting Carol. It all happened so fast. He started packing and suddenly forget what he was doing and started to panic, I tried to calm him down then he started to have a seizure. He died in my arms. I see him all the time, beautiful dreams that turn ugly.

"What's up Yentl?" Santana runs up, jogging in place, "you look awful."

"Alfie was asking about Finn again. About how he died."

She stops running in place and hugs me, "are you okay? Thing 1 & 2 are with Britt we can go get daytime drunk on red wine and fall asleep watching Mamma Mia."

"Do you ever miss New York?"

'Everyday." She moves, "come on."

Alfie

I lie in the floor with my hands behind and raise the top half of my body and raise my legs starting to move them like I'm running place. I like to try and workout, break the first wall before I meet with the guys, these are high school guys that are hanging out with me. I have a lot of people that hang out with me but it's only because we play football. I don't have very many friends but Duke Anderson is a really nice guy, he's super cool and incredibly nice. I don't know Matty that well just that he's sixteen and drives an Audi and has hooked up with every cheerleader he's ever come in contact with. The one friend I have, Jesse, said that his brother told him that Matty is a total jerk off but his brother thinks all athletes are jerk offs.

I get up and turn on the treadmill and start running, turning the incline to the highest then turn the speed up as fast as I can handle it and start running facing the picture of my father and Superman. I want to know everything about him, I know everything about Superman but my dad's origin is style a mystery to me. I have a thin elastic headband to hold my hair back and I'm wearing a "The Flash" under armor shirt and black shorts. I move at a pretty quick speed, trying to keep my breathing in time. I'm a very fast runner, I don't know why and I don't know if it's something in my genetic makeup but I'm also a track star. Maybe it's because I'm so tall and skinny or maybe I'm really Barry Allen.

My bedroom door opens and I almost fall off from surprise. I stop the treadmill and hop off to see Beth standing there in a white shirt with a kitten eating a shark, jean shorts that stop at her knees, and sunglasses on with her hair in hanging down in a bed head style.

"What's up, kiddo?"

I stare at her, "how did you get in here?"

"I own a lock pick. You did invite me."

"Normal people knock." I pull my Jr. Titan hoodie on, "why do you own a lock pick?"

She leans against the wall staring at the ceiling as if my question is so hard, "it doesn't matter, dude. Just that I have it."

Her accent is funny to me, she talks like a poet that's always stoned out her mind with a slight surfer twang to the way she says things. Every time she says 'dude' or 'righteous' or 'solid' she sounds like she just popped out of a cheesy surfer movie.

"I'm glad you came." I smile, "I figured we could hang out. While there is an obvious age difference I think we can be friends."

She places a cigarette between her lips, "has anyone ever told you that you talk too much? You're like a narrator that won't turn off."

"Ha ha, you can't smoke in here. Let's wait outside."

I lead her out of my room and down the stairs and out the front door. We sit down on the porch and she lights the cigarette then looks at me.

"My mom mentioned a Duke freaking Anderson?"

I nod and turn to look at her, "he's the greatest quarterback ever. He's a sophomore and he's a varsity player, he's on ESPN all the time, he's really friendly, and he's in glee club. Oh! And he's president of the Chasity club."

"Whoa," She looks over the top of her sunglasses, "he sounds so choice."

I nudge her, laughing, "He's very nice."

"Kill all your heroes and fly." She sings under her breath, "Cause we everybody will die."

"What is that?"

"Super old song called 'Kill your heroes'. I was going through my mom's IPod Skinny and she has some nice music."

I smile as she continues singing the song between smoking the cigarette. I watch the bright red Audi pull up with loud music blasting and Beth shakes her head. She turns her head in my direction.

"So, you're buying me pizza after this right?"

I nod, "rock 'n' roll."

"Nice, kiddo."

Duke gets out the car and his black hair is combed over and cut in a taper style, he's wearing red sweats with WMHS in white going down the right leg and a white shirt with a titan in the center. He looks like a God as he walks over to us. I stand up quickly and Beth didn't acknowledge him.

"Hey Duke, this is Beth Puckerman."

Duke smiles, "how's it going Freddie? Hey, I'm Duke Anderson."

"I heard." Beth puts the cigarette out and stands up, "nice car."

She walks over to the car and Duke watches with a slight smile turning to follow her. I walk behind them and Matty steps out the car. Matty is the greatest wide receiver in the history of McKinley and he knows it. When Duke is on ESPN launching the ball Matty is down field catching it, they're a dynamic duo. Matty is a bit taller than Duke, stronger, and has an obvious arrogance. His dark skin is clear and perfect, his smile is charming, and girls love him.

"Thanks, I'm Matty B."

Beth stares at him, "Matty B? Okay, that's cool."

"That's Beth Puckerman." I introduce her as she looks at the car, "she's a friend of mine."

Matty nods, "Puckerman huh? Your mom is the new teacher. She's hot. I love Apocalypse Forever."

"Don't we all," Beth mutters, "I'll bike, kiddo."

Duke looks at her, "Are you sure? It's pretty far."

"Positive."

He watches her get on her back as we all get in the car. Matty speeds off and Duke puts on his seatbelt, I mimic him.

"She's really pretty." Duke starts, "does she have a boyfriend?"

I shrug, "I don't think so."

"That's cool."

Matty turns up the radio, "you don't stand a chance, bro! I don't think your brand of charm is going to work."

"Fuck you, man. What do you think, Freddie?"

I look at him as he smiles hopefully and I feel like the truth might crush him.

"I don't know, Duke. I'm eleven."

Beth

They treat Alfie like a rag doll when they can catch him. He's insanely fast, he catches as well as he throws, he moves from side to side and takes off running as soon as he sees an opening. He throws the ball down field and it spirals perfectly hitting Matty every time. By the time they finish its dark and I'm bored, high, and ready to go eat pizza. I walk down the steps and walk behind the guys back to the car. I get on my bike and look at them. Duke smiles at me as Matty drives off and he gives Alfie the keys to his truck.

"You want to ride with us? I can put your bike in the back."

I stare at him, "how old are you?"

"Fifteen but no one says anything when you're winning games."

"Who gave you a truck?"

He smiles, "an interested party."

I roll my eyes, he's handsome and full of himself. I push my bike toward the truck and he follows me. Moving quickly to get in step with me.

"So, you and Freddie are getting pizza?"

I hand him my bike and watch him put it in the back, "he doesn't like being called Freddie. Call him Alfie."

"Sure, he never said anything."

I open the door, "Alfie, do you tell people to call you Freddie?"

"No. I say, 'I'm Alfred Phineas Berry-Hudson, call me Alfie'."

I smile at Duke, "that sounds pretty accurate."

I get in the car and close the door as Alfie just looks at me with his mouth open. Duke walks around to the drive side and gets in, pulling out of the parking lot then head back to Alfie's house.

"You're amazing, Alfie. I'm glad I'm going to be gone when you hit high school. You'll be crazy competition."

Alfie smiles, "thanks Duke."

He looks down and I roll my eyes, flicking him on the ear.

"Very nice job, Mr. Allen." I put my sunglasses on him when he looks at me, "yeah, I read comics."

Duke looks at me, "me too. I'm a huge fan of Captain Marvel and Black Adam."

"Good taste." I lean back in my seat, "have you ever seen the Black Adam movies?"

He nods, "total classics. There is no better antihero than Black Adam. I don't care about your argument against it. That's where I stand."

Alfie stares at him incredulously before starting to talk about the smartest man alive from The Watchmen and I watch Duke. He smiles every time Alfie's voice cracks when he gets excited and he argues his points back with him. He's cute, his name is weird but he's very handsome. His jawline is strong but his face is very boyish. I like the way he looks.

"And we're here." Duke stops the truck, "see you later Alfie. Beth."

Alfie shakes his hand and we get out of the car. I close the door and Duke gets out and grabs my bike out of the back.

"So, Beth, what are you doing later?"

I take my bike, "pigging out with Alfie probably. Why?"

"Well, there's this midnight bonfire me and friends do. We started it last year as sort of a glee club tradition."

I watch my mom's car pull in front of the house, "that sounds rowdy. Maybe."

"I'll come pick you up around eleven if you're interested. I'll give you my number."

I start push my bike toward the porch when my mom starts walking through the yard, "slow down, cowboy. I don't even know if I like you yet. You could be a total cock knocker."

He laughs and gets into the truck pulling off, blowing the horn.

"Who was that?"

"The illustrious Duke Anderson."

She nods, "he's handsome. If I was fifteen years younger

"You'd be pregnant with me."

She rolls her eyes, "you slay me."

"I try, mom. I try."

"I'm going to see the girls. Charlie is with mom and you're going to hang out here, right?"

I nod, "gorge on pizza and probably watch movies."

"Okay," she hands me my phone, "tonight only then you turn it in when you get home tomorrow."

I pocket the phone, "anything else."

"Here," she hands me a bag, "something to sleep in and change into and I put your medicine in there. Take your pill before bed."

I give her a two finger salute, "yes, ma'am. Love you."

"Love you too."

I walk inside and close the door locking it as Alfie pulls a cooler into the living room.

"Full of drinks and I ordered three pizzas. Cheese, pepperoni, and ham and pineapple."

I nod, "righteous."

I move over the couch and sit down kicking off my shoes as I slouch down. He walks over and sits beside me turning Netflix starting to go through movie, reading the info on each.

"Can I ask you something, Beth?"

I nod, "shoot."

"You knew my dad? Was he as great as everyone says?"

I look at him, "from what I remember he was. I mean, I don't care about anyone's opinions because I have my memories."

"Did he ever sing?"

"He use to sing 'I'll Stand by you' when he was singing me to sleep." I look at the ceiling, "I have a video of it. I'll play it for you one day."

He smiles, "thank you."

I watch him pull a notepad out of his hoodie and scribble into it then put it down. He looks at me and smiles at what I'm sure is the confusion on my face.

"I'm writing down everything I can about dad. That way I can always remember it. Feel like I knew him too."

I smile at him, "that's cool."

He starts going through the movies again and I look back at the ceiling with my hands behind my head. I don't care what we watch. It's really nice to not be alone and to be around someone that doesn't know me or pretends to know me or get me. He's just hanging out with me because he likes me and it's hard to find people that actually like me. I'm not a very likable person but I've been doing it for so long there's nothing I can do about it now.

"Can I ask you something else?"

I look at him, "just ask the question. Stop asking."

"Alright. How did you get so cool?"

I start laughing leaning up to make sure he's serious. He takes off the sunglasses and I can see how serious he really is.

"I'm not, man. It's not something that I sit around and say, 'hey, that's going to make me cool let's do it'. Besides I'm like a social pariah."

He nods, "I can see that but I go to school with someone like you. Everyone wants to be her friend and she just shrugs and says 'cool' and everyone loves her. It's crazy."

I stretch my legs out and look at him, he looks hopeful like I'll have some sort of an answer for him but I don't. I scratch the back of head,

"I'll tell you story."

"Alright."

"When I was fourteen my mom's level of on camera fame became incredibly overwhelming and I couldn't do anything. Dad was filming and I went to school with kids who were either elitist jerks or doing their own thing. I fell in nowhere. I joined a glee club and quit within weeks after finding out they just wanted to meet my mom."

I pause at the memory of listening to the teacher talk about a lesson plan with some of the kids and the plan to get my mom involved. I was hurt that he didn't just ask because she would have done it and I love when my mom sings. I love her voice and she loves performing.

"So, here I was on the outs with the only people I thought liked me. Then I met this girl, Ariel, she had cherry red hair and wore bright red lipstick. She walked up and leaned against the wall beside and said, 'I don't give a fuck who your mom is, I don't give a fuck about anything.'."

I grin, shaking my head remember the high waisted skirt she wore and the way laughed after saying it like it was the funniest thing she had ever heard.

"Then she just walked away and I thought that was the best thing I had ever heard. She just didn't care so I stopped caring. I dyed my hair, I was afraid of people laughing at it, and stopped trying." I shrug a shoulder, "its fine. I don't really like people. They scare me."

He looks at me, "I know what you mean."

"I wish you didn't."

[][][][]

It's around elven thirty and we've watched all the Dr. Who we could stomach so I find Duke on Facebook and ask him for directions to the bonfire. I let Alfie peddle while I sit on the handle bars, I wonder why I bring a kid with me to a party but when I remember it's a glee club thing I stop being worried. We sing a song that our Godfather Blaine wrote mashed up with a Michael Jackson song. He turns down the dirt path and I can already see the fire going and hear voices. We stop singing when we get closer. We stop beside Duke's truck and walk up to the group, there is music playing and everyone but Duke and a dark haired girl are drinking. I walk over to Duke and tap him on the shoulder. He turns around with a smile, he looks shocked but it quickly turns into happiness.

"Hey, you made it. What's up Alfie? Isn't past your bedtime?"

Alfie looks at him, "we've never discussed a curfew. Based on that I don't have one."

"Alright. No drinking."

I look at Alfie, "no drinking. Go mingle. Remember, technically, you're cooler than everyone here."

Alfie smiles and walks over to the dark haired girl not drinking and starts talking to her. I look at Duke and he smiles reaching into the cooler and holds up a soda and a beer. I take the beer and open it looking around.

"So, what's the deal?"

"Freshman year we all joined the club and it was just perfect. We performed together so well, Miss. Berry said we were her lightening in a jar." He shrugs, "whatever that means."

I take a long drink, "why the bon fire?"

"We just like to do this before every big competition to relax because for the next few months we're going to be practicing a lot. Miss. Berry hates being unprepared and we clean house last year, we're the reigning champs."

I smirk at him, "so he sings and plays football. What else can the All American do?"

He laughs, flashing a beautiful smile and I take another drink when I feel my cheeks start to warm up.

"I can do a lot." He smiles, "I'm a jack of all trades. My father says that I have to be sufficient in all field or I'll peak after graduation."

I smile, "we don't want that."

"You're really from California?"

"Yeah, bright and sunny California."

He nods, "I heard that it's nice."

"I think so."

He steps close, "so, do you want to dance before everyone gets really drunk and it turns into making no one takes their clothes off. It's happened before."

I bit my bottom lip and put down the cup and put my hand out for him to take.

"I can't wait for the strip show."

Quinn

Rachel and Santana are completely drunk, it's surprising to see how close they are. I missed the chapter on their friendship I mostly saw the bad parts or the Rachel is about to do something stupid parts. They're leaning on one another singing Bohemian Rhapsody and it's the funniest and saddest thing I've ever seen. I'm tempted to film it but if it got out it would be an absolute mess, the memory is good enough for me.

"Please stop singing." I stare at them, "you just keep getting louder."

Rachel looks at me, "Quinn you're so pretty. Look at her Santana. How did she stay so pretty?"

"She's a fucking angle, Rachel." Santana slurs, "we've both seen her naked and I have to say, damn."

Rachel turns to look at Santana, "what?"

"We did the nasty at the wedding that didn't happen when you were bumping unprotected uglies with Finn."

I stare at Santana and sigh, it's been so long since that night and I remember it all so well. I saw Rachel and Finn's chemistry on stage and I was done for the night and went to bed with Santana who threw her arms up in victory as we made our way into the room.

Rachel looks at me, "you didn't tell me that."

"In my defense you got pregnant." I shrug, "and you were married. And, here's the big one, we weren't exactly friends."

Rachel nods solemnly and Santana starts crying, I slouch in my seat because some stuff never changes and that gives me comfort and a headache.

"God we're so fucked up." Santana mutters, "I barely see Britt anymore. Rachel has seen some fucked up shit and your husband is fucking your clone."

I close my eyes, "oh, how I've missed you Santana."

"I'm sorry. It's just been a really long life. I'm thirty, my wife is constantly busy and I raise two twin terrors pretty much alone." She shakes her head, "what is going on with my life?"

Rachel nods, "I'm thirty, I'm a widow, my son looks just like his father and he wants to know every detail about him, and he's a jock."

I laugh at the way she sobs at the last word and Santana rubs her back.

"The entire world knows my husband left me for a twenty-six year old starlet with fake breasts. My son doesn't get it and my teenage daughter is a teenage terrorist with insane mood swings." I finish my wine, "you guys really know how to throw a party."

Santana stands up, "fuck it. I'm going to bed. It's three in the morning and I have a stupid fucking PTA mothers for stupid shit thing."

I laugh as she walks up the stairs slowly, clearly in better control of herself than Rachel. I stand and help Rachel from her seat, putt my arm around her waist as she slings her arm around my shoulder. I've only had one glass compared to her and Santana's bottle a piece. I lead her out of the house and to my car, I help her into the backseat before getting behind the steering wheel. I push my hair back and pull out of the parking space. She leans up and kisses my cheek moving her lips to my ear.

"You're so gorgeous, Quinn."

I inhale sharply, "I'm driving, Rach."

"Pull over, let's have sex in the back seat."

I slow down, "Rachel, no. You're drunk and we're too old to deal with early morning regrets. We have kids."

"You use to be so fun. Do you remember when we use to sneak into McKinley and do it on the stage?"

I pull into her driveway, "keep your hands to yourself."

I get out and help her out the backseat and start leading her to the front door. I push the door open the closed it with my foot. I close my eyes as I kick off my heels and lift her up off the ground. I start walking up the stairs going into what I guess correctly is her room. I put her in the bed and pull her shoes off her then I move unzip her skirt, tugging it off. I pull off her shirt then I put the blanket over her.

"Get some sleep."

She tries to lean up and kiss me, "please."

"No. And don't worry about it. When you call me tomorrow and apologize, don't" I kiss her forehead, "goodnight, Rachel."

Rachel

Oh God, I tried to have sex with Quinn last night