Hitomi floated through the sweet intoxication of her dreams. Everything was peaceful and quiet; the normal craziness of everyday life stood no chance in the depths of her sleep. She walked serenely through the garden in her dream, when something caught her attention. The gentle swish of mechanical wings, a single white feather floating gently onto the green grass before her, sparkling brightly in her mind's eye. Green eyes widened…
"Van!" Hitomi sat upright in bed, the name escaping her lips with shocked emotion. She took a moment to collect her wits, holding the covers about her in comfort. Taking a deep breath, she reminded herself that it was only a dream. It had been 17 years since her adventures in Gaea, and most memory of that experience had been blocked from her mind. Life had become too complicated to continue living in her fantasy world. By the time she had turned 25, she had convinced herself that the entire episode was simply a figment of her overactive imagination. However, in her dreams, she still saw the fertile lands of Fanelia...and somehow, she could not completely convince herself that nothing had really happened. On occasion, her dreams would hint to her what-ifs and could-have-beens…she pushed the dream from her mind and looked down at the sleeping figure beside her.
His chestnut hair shone in the moonlight coming from the open window. Hitomi's mouth spread into a loving smile as she gently bushed away a stray lock of hair from her husband's face and laid a light kiss on his forehead. She and Ruka had been married nearly eight years, and with each day Hitomi found herself loving him even more. Admittedly, she did not feel the completeness she yearned for, but she knew she was happy. She led a good life. She had no reason to grieve. And yet, Gaea…Van…sometimes, the tears came unexpected. Hitomi would scold herself for such childish fantasies, and would quickly forget. There was far too much to take care of in life.
Silently, she rose from the bed, careful not to disturb her sleeping spouse. Drawing on a loose night robe on and slipping her feet into fuzzy slippers, she left the bedroom and walked down the hall towards the kitchen. She needed something to drink, a cup of tea perhaps. In the darkness of the house, she walked through the carpeted halls making her way to her destination. She only paused for a moment, listening at the slightly ajar door of her 5-year-old daughter's room. Through the doorway, she could her Kei's gentle breathing, a sure sign that the young girl was sleeping peacefully. A wave of motherly love swept over Hitomi and she stayed for a moment longer, indulging herself in watching her daughter sleep. Then, she finally made her way to the kitchen. After pouring herself a cup of warm tea, she settled down on the couch in their living room.
Hitomi sat for what seemed like forever, her mind completely blank. No random thoughts drifted across her mind, no memories…her body was limp, molding itself into the soft fabric of the couch. She sipped at the tea, never really tasting its warmth or its flavor. Finally, she broke back into an awareness of sorts. Her eyes wandered across the dark forms in the room; she hadn't bothered to turn on any lights. On the table in front of her, a familiar box lay.
~I don't remember bringing this out…~
she thought aimlessly as her fingers ran over the dusty card box. She shook the dirt from her fingers, then made a decision and opened the box. The tarot cards were stiff and slightly sticky from not being used in so long. She had kept them as a memento of her teenage years, but had long since given up trying to do readings. Yet now, it seemed like a good idea. She laid out the pattern."The Tower…card of separation." Hitomi's voice cracked as she read the first card in the chart. ~ Not again, please…~ she read through the following cards, her voice barely above a whisper. "The Priestess, card of rebirth, Ace of Serpents, card of courage…card of sorrow…card of the past…" her hands shook as she lay down the final card. Carefully, she clasped her hands in her lap and stared at the chart in front of her. She realized that she didn't want to know what it meant. She didn't want to see what would happen. She stood quickly and returned to bed, pushing the ominous chart from her mind. Outside, it began to rain.
***
"Morning, angel." A husky voice said from the kitchen doorway. Hitomi turned to face her husband and gave him a quick kiss.
"Good morning Ruka." She held out a large ceramic mug to him, both hands clasped firmly around the steaming drink. "Here's your coffee." He accepted it gratefully and went to the front door.
"It's really coming down out there," he commented as he took the newspaper from the mail-slot. The plastic encasing the paper was still dripping from the torrents of rain.
"Yeah, the news was saying how it didn't look like it would let up any time soon either." The small television above the stove was broadcasting the early morning news, indicating where she had gotten her information. Ruka nodded and opened the paper, sitting himself in his usual spot at the table. Hitomi turned back to the stove where the smell of pancakes was quickly filling the air.
"Yummy! Pancakes!" a young voice from the stairwell cried. There was a loud thundering as tiny feet propelled a small body through the house.
"Kei! Please, be careful and slow down!" Hitomi called sharply. The child paid no heed and launched herself into the kitchen, only to be met by her mother's stern look. Kei pouted for a moment, then wrapped her tiny arms around her mother's thighs and peered up at Hitomi with large innocent eyes.
"Sorry mommy… can I have pancakes now?" Hitomi's stern look turned into one of pure adoration and she bent to hug Kei tightly. She chucked as she shooed the child to a seat beside her father.
"They're not quite ready yet. Why don't you go back upstairs for a moment and get ready for school?" Kei nodded cheerfully and with the usual spunk of any girl of 5 years, raced back to her room at full speed. The cry of "Kei, slow down!" never reached her ears. Ruka watched the scene over his newspaper and laughed as Hitomi shook her head in exasperation and flipped the pancakes.
"Do you think you can take Kei in to school today sweetie?" Hitomi asked. "I have a lot of work to finish up today, and the earlier I get started the better. I already called the office and told them I wasn't coming in."
"That's fine." Ruka smiled at her and put down his paper. "I can take her in." Hitomi gave him an appreciative look.
"Thanks." She looked back towards the stairs and raised her voice. "Come get your breakfast sweetheart, or you'll be late for school!" again, the thundering of footsteps was heard. This time, Hitomi didn't bother trying to scold her child.
"Morning daddy!" Kei bubbled as she took a seat next to her father. Steaming pancakes were placed in front of the two, and her father didn't have time to respond before Kei was stuffing her cheeks full of the warm food.
"You'll choke yourself at that rate." Ruka chuckled as he folded his hands on the table and watched Kei eat. "Slow down a bit, would you?" Kei didn't reply as her mouth was full of food, but she did put the utensils down and took a moment to chew before finishing off the rest of her meal.
"Done!" she cried triumphantly.
"Good," Ruka grinned. "Now go get your bag. I'm taking you to school today." There was a pause as the child thought over the matter, then…
"YAY!!!!" Giggling with happiness, Kei shot back up to her room to get her school supplies. Ruka watched his daughter's reaction with a startled expression.
"You would think by the way she acts that she never sees me…" he mused. Hitomi wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.
"You're not far from the truth darling. You're not home much anymore…we miss you." Ruka held his wife tightly and kissed the top of her head.
"I'm sorry. Tell you what, when I get to the office I'll cash in some of my vacation days. I'll take a few weeks off, we'll go on a vacation somewhere. How does that sound?"
"Mmm sounds wonderful." Kei thundered into the kitchen again and latched herself onto her father's arms, dragging him towards the garage.
"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon daddy!" she giggled. Hitomi cast a worried glance out of the window at the downpour of rain. She voiced her concern.
"Ruka, be careful when you're driving. The roads will be slippery." He nodded as he was ushered outside.
"I will be dear, don't worry." With a hug and a kiss to each of them, Hitomi saw her family off. Then, after having her own breakfast, she went to her office and began the days work. Outside, the rain thundered down.
***
Hitomi sat at the desk in her study, flipping through the files on her lap. The end of her pen was mangled after much use, both from her frantic writing and her gnashing teeth. The pale blue glow of her computer screen contrasted to the hazy yellow aura of the desk lamp. The floor of the study was littered with unsorted papers and miscellaneous filing folders. The desk around the computer was just as covered with old coffee mugs and broken pencils. Yet despite the disorganization of the study, Hitomi managed to remain so absorbed in her work that she nearly missed the muffled ringing of the phone. Shoving aside piles cluttering the desk, her hand clasped around the portable phone.
"Moshi moshi, Sakitamo residence. Hitomi speaking." She spoke the reflexive response. There was a pause on the other end before a male voice spoke gently.
"Mrs. Sakitamo, this is the Taitoku Hospital. I'm afraid I have some bad news about your family…" Hitomi felt blood rush to her head. She closed her eyes to stop from swaying, and licked suddenly dry lips before speaking.
"I'm listening." She whispered hoarsely. Another pause.
"There's no easy way to say this," the man from the hospital said uncomfortably, trying to keep a calming tone. "I'm terribly sorry to inform you that your husband and daughter are dead."
Time froze.
The slow thudding of her heart sounded loudly in the silence of the room. In slow motion, the phone clattered from her hands onto the floor. Inconspicuous tears threaded their way from forest green eyes that stared blankly at the wall. In the back of her mind, a voice whispered cruelly ~ You saw this coming…the cards told you and you ignored it. It's your fault…~ The knots forming in her stomach clenched painfully and a cry forced itself from between her lips. The chair slid from beneath her and she fell limply beside the phone.
"Hello? Mrs. Sakitamo, are you all right? Mrs. Sakitamo?" the faint voice over the receiver called to her. She picked it up slowly and brought it to her ear in zombie-like motions.
"I'm here." She spoke in a deadpan voice around the thickness in her throat.
"Mrs. Sakitamo, I can only imagine how hard this must be for you…" a fresh stream of tears traced their way down her cheeks.
"How did it happen?" her thick voice miraculously remained calm.
"They were in the car when they hit a slippery area of pavement. The car skidded off the road and hit a tree; the impact killed them instantly. I assure you there was little pain involved…Mrs. Sakitamo, I'm afraid I must ask you to come down to the hospital. There are some technical matters that must be taken care of--" The line went dead.
Hitomi hung up the phone in silence. Slowly her brain sent the message to her limbs that she needed to move. Supporting herself by leaning heavily on the desk, she rose from the ground.
~ Alone, alone, alone ~
her mind whispered frantically. ~ Dead, dead, dead…~ The tears stopped flowing as Hitomi fell into a state of shock. She barely felt herself walking up the stairs. She passed the door to her daughter's room. Which had been left slightly ajar in the rush to get to school. The bedsheets were rumpled in a pile that cascaded onto the floor. Mechanically, Hitomi entered the small child's room and with gentle slowness mad the bed.Pull the Barbie covers over the pillow, smooth the wrinkles out, arrange the stuffed animals…
Hitomi stopped her ministrations as her eyes caught hold of a small stuffed panda lying beside the bed. She reached down and tenderly picked it up. Kei had owned this bear since infancy and it had always been her favorite animal of all. Countless nights the child would listen to her mother and father tell bedtime stories, and when the lights went out and goodnight kisses were exchanged, her tiny hands held out the bear to be kissed goodnight as well. Hitomi now clutched it tightly to her chest, praying that the security it had given her child each night would reach into her. She left quickly, going into her own bedroom that she and Ruka had shared for the past eight years. She collapsed upon the bed, curling into a ball in the place that Ruka had occupied each night. There, the finality of their deaths hit her full force, and she wept bitterly into the soft fur of the bear.
~~~~
Some quick notes from your local author ^_^ Thanks for reading through this far, hopefully more will come in the near future. I do realize that it's not normal to receive a phone call from the hospital, but I felt it was more appropriate for Hitomi to be alone when she got the news. I also realize that the chapter went sort of fast, but there's no helping that ^_^ Read it slower and it doesn't rush as much ^.~ Novel thought, ne? Anyway, I appreciate everyone's reviews and I'll continue to work on all my stories muchos arigatous!! (O_o remind me not to mix languages….)