Midnight Revelations Require Strawberry Milk
Gintoki could not sleep, not even after the long, exhausting lovemaking session he had just had which seemed to have put his companion right to sleep though given how she had exerted herself he was hardly surprised. Even after nearly half a year of this ritual he and Kagura were still unable to curtail their activities to acceptable levels of noise, time, and bruises. He smirked to himself, knowing that his landlady and her "daughters" would probably scold him the next morning for the sounds that he knew came from his apartment. He shrugged at the thought, knowing it would not be the first time they had gotten onto him for this kind of incident.
Hours seemed to pass as he continued to stare blankly up at the ceiling, attempting to will his body to sleep but it adamantly refused to listen to him; instead his mind decided to forcibly show him images he had been trying to hide away in the darkest corners of his brain. The first image was of Kagura wearing a red qipao, her long red hair flowing freely down her back as she walked up to him, a huge smile on her doll-like face. His heart raced at the thought of her coming to him as his bride. The next cruelly created image made his stomach flip, it was again of Kagura but only this time she was holding a small child with naturally wavy silver hair close to her chest, singing it a lullaby. He tried not to smile as the image continued to unfold to include him sitting beside her, pulling her and the child onto his lap as he relaxed and listened to her sing, quietly joining in with her. The final scene caused his chest to constrict, he saw an older Kagura standing beside him her hand entwined with his, and they were looking out from the balcony of a nice home watching as children played together in the yard below. Just watching the moment play out filled him with an unfamiliar sense of peace and against his better judgment he sighed contentedly.
When he realized what he had done, he shook his head hard against those thoughts no matter how much he had enjoyed them, it would do him and Kagura no good if he continued to think this way and imagine a future with her. It would cause them both nothing but endless grief. Gintoki knew he loved Kagura deeply, more than he thought possible, considering the circumstances under which he and the red-headed Yato had met; but he had to constantly remind himself that their relationship was going to be a brief and short-lived experience. No matter how much he wanted it to be to the contrary. Kagura was a beautiful and incredible almost nineteen-year-old girl . . . woman, he mentally amended and he was nothing but a lazy and aging samurai with nothing to offer a woman like her. He thought she deserved to be with someone her age that could shower her with food and adventures, not some lay about who could barely afford the already cheap rent of his substandard apartment. Actually, he expected her everyday to look at him and tell him that she was leaving him to make a better life for herself with someone else. There was no way in hell he expected Kagura to give up her youth just to stay with him, and in all honesty, it would be too selfish of him to ask that of her.
He sighed heavily and turned over on his side so he was now facing the object of his troubled thoughts, as he gazed at her sleeping form he found himself noticing how beautiful she looked illuminated by the moonlight. Just as she was when she was awake, she was the picture of innocence and naivety, at least until she opened her mouth or was provoked into some kind of attack; then her true strength and experience were there for all to witness. Gintoki propped himself up on his elbow and just watched her sleep, listening to her steady and even breathing that made her ample chest rise and fall with each breath. His eyes moved from her chest up the white column of her neck to her angelic face, where they paused as he mused over the various expressions that beautiful face was able to make at any given moment. His favorite face had to be whenever she got something she wanted, it was always one of unadulterated joy, and he used any excuse he could to get her to look like that.
His journey continued up from her face to her long tresses that were fanned out over her pillow in a glorious cascade of red fire, an unmistakable color that was so very Kagura. Gintoki had never met another person with hair like hers and honestly he did not want to, he was content to believe that the color existed purely on Kagura's head. Without really thinking about what he was doing he reached over with his free hand and twisted a lock of her hair around his fingers, moving it so it caught the moonlight just right. He had never noticed how rich the color really was until now, since she usually kept her head covered by her umbrella to prevent sun exposure on her alabaster skin.
Honestly, there was a great deal he had not noticed about Kagura until a short time ago, and thinking of that time made Gintoki frown deeply as he released the hair he was holding. She had grown into a beautiful woman seemingly right under his nose and he had hardly paid attention to the changes, seeing her still as the young girl he had met. Now she was wearing clothes that young adult women wear though she still looked like a China girl, and she no longer wore her hair up in buns kept in place by her headpiece instead letting it fall freely down her back or braided, and she had started asking questions that only a mother or sister should or for that matter could answer. 'Thank god for Tae,' he thought with a sigh of relief, remembering when their friend had come to his rescue and explained everything that Kagura had questions about over the course of a weekend. Fortunately for him, Kagura went to Tae for answers for her more female related questions now and saved him the trouble of explaining where babies and breast milk comes from. That was at least one load off of his mind regarding Kagura.
Even though she was now considered a young woman, he still felt a stab of guilt deep in his gut each time he kissed her or pulled back the covers whenever she came to bed. They were both consenting adults and aware of what decisions they were making; yet at the same time Gintoki thought he was taking advantage of the situation he was in by encouraging her romantic advances and making some of his own. She had trusted him for years with her life and secrets, and he had come to see her as his closest confidant and friend, still he felt that he and their relationship was holding her back. Kagura could be off hunting monsters with her father or returning to her home world and helping them rebuild, instead she was still on Earth with him; while he was glad to have her he thought she could have a more fulfilling life. He did not want her to live with any regrets; her heart did not need that kind of burden.
Gintoki still refused, however, to think of Kagura being happy with someone else; he knew it was wrong but he wanted to be the only one she let see her vulnerable, and to know the little secrets about her body that only he knew. He did not want another man to discover that spot behind her ear that made her defenses crumble away, or to know how wonderful her skin felt, or to see her face when she was at the peak of pleasure. No, he wanted those treasures all for himself, and to know that someone else might take his place and learn all he knew was gut-wrenchingly agonizing. He could practically feel his heart and brain at war with each other in his body over whether or not he should graciously let her go and be glad of the time they shared or be completely selfish and hold onto her until he died. This was truly one of the most difficult battles he had ever had in his life.
"Gintoki," came a soft voice and he glanced down to find Kagura's large sapphire orbs were on him. "Gintoki, I've decided something."
Gintoki gulped and tried to breathe, he knew this moment would come sooner or later, that she would say she was had come to the decision to leave and that he was no longer who she wanted. 'Like hell,' he thought angrily, the battle between his heart and mind finally reaching a conclusion. Even if she tried to leave, he would argue with her until she saw reason and would decide to stay by his side: and he would do everything in his power to keep her there.
"Huh? What is it, Kagura?" he asked stoically, desperately trying to keep the nervousness out of his voice as he spoke.
"I've decided that I want okayu and soft baked apples for breakfast tomorrow," she said hazily before falling back asleep before he had the chance to reply.
Kagura's statement washed over him and he took a moment to allow it to properly sink in, when it did he felt completely foolish. Here he was thinking that she was going to tell him his worst fears had been realized when all along she had been thinking with her stomach like always! He chuckled at his stupidity, thinking to himself that Kagura really would never change and that her stomach would always dictate her thinking for her while he would never get over being completely dense at times. His decision though regarding Kagura had not changed and would not change: he loved her and despite all that was conspiring against them, he wanted her to be his partner in every sense of the word. Gintoki smiled warmly as he nestled back down beside her, pulling her body flush against his as he felt sleep tugging at his body. Before sleep completely took him, he decided that while he was out shopping for Kagura's breakfast, he would find her a suitable ring.
Kagura stared brazenly at Tae's swollen belly, amazed that her older sister's kimono was able to contain the growing mass within, for a few moments she wondered if she poked it enough would the fabric tear. It seemed stretched to the limit yet somehow it did not show any signs of yielding to the ever-growing region of Tae's body. Kagura was curious as to why her friend's body had expanded in size in such a short time, after all she was just having a baby and they were small, except maybe it was Kondo's fault; he was a gorilla-man after all.
"We've decided to name him Hideaki!" announced Kondo proudly as he patted Tae's belly gently, earning him a loving smile from his normally hostile wife. "A fine name for a samurai, wouldn't you agree, Gintoki?"
The silver haired samurai shrugged as he helped himself to a bite of chocolate parfait. "I suppose so," he said around his food. "Anything's better than Gorilla-ko." He quickly ducked out of reach as Tae's fist came flying through the air at alarming speed, narrowly missing the massive punch she had intended.
Kondo was alarmed and pulled his wife back into her seat before starting to fret over her. "Are you alright? Did you strain your back throwing that punch? Do you need Bargain Dash?"
"They were made for each other," mumbled Gintoki as he peered over the edge of the table from his new position on the floor and Kagura giggled before passing him his parfait. "Thank you, Kagura."
"Anytime, my dense samurai," she replied with a wink and he rolled his eyes as he slunk back under the table. "Is Shinpachi pleased to know he's going to have a little nephew soon?"
Tae sighed heavily and for a brief moment Kagura saw the sadness in her sister's eyes before she hid it quickly. "I tried to tell him but he refused to let me in, and in my condition it was pointless to break down the door," she said with a fake smile. "I left him a note telling the good news."
"If you ask me he's behaving rather childishly," said Gintoki from under the table then his arm extended out with an empty parfait glass. "Kagura, could you order me another one?"
"Order it yourself, lazy!" she said with a glare as she took a stick of pickled seaweed out of a packet in her pocket and started to suck on it. "Has he come out of his womb at all?"
"He's not in a womb, Kagura," said Kondo with an exasperated sigh. "Shinpachi's in his room."
Gintoki's snicker reached their ears. "I like her explanation for his strange behavior much better than Gorilla's, it certainly makes more sense."
Kagura rolled her eyes as she nibbled on her snack, content to just listen to the others go back and forth on Shinpachi's ridiculous condition. He had been in his room for nearly five months now, ever since two traumatic events occurred within weeks of each other. The first event had to do with his pop idol crush, Tsuu Terakado; it was announced that she was now officially married to the Shogun's favorite nephew who was apparently a huge fan of hers and president of Shinpachi's rival fan club. When he heard the announcement, he went completely quiet then stood up from his seat and left the room without another word to anyone. He then proceeded to stay in his room for three and a half weeks.
The day he finally got over mourning the loss of his beloved pop idol to a rival happened to also be the day that Tae and Kondo announced the impending arrival of their first child. When he heard that news, Shinpachi burst into tears and ran from the dojo straight to his room; he had yet to emerge from his seclusion. It was very likely that Shinpachi would never come out of hiding, especially when he learned that Tsuu Terakado was now pregnant.
"Have you told him you're moving yet?" asked Kagura as she reached her hand down beneath the table in search of Gintoki's. Her small hand blindly searched for its target until she found something better, his hair, and proceeded to tangle her fingers in his curls sighing contentedly.
Tae again sighed and shook her head. "Not yet, the new house isn't quite ready yet but we'll have to tell him soon though. Maybe he'll like the house, since he has his own little house to himself in the garden."
"It's too bad you had to sell the dojo, Big Sis," said Kagura glumly as she twirled some of Gintoki's hair around her fingers. "You did so much to save it only to lose it in the end."
At this Tae genuinely smiled. "I didn't sell my father's dojo to just anybody, Kagura. Kondo and I sold it to Katsura as a training house for samurai, what's more is he's asked Kondo to be an instructor there with pay, so now we have double income to help with the family expenses."
"Sounds like your family is off to a prosperous start," said Gintoki from under the table, his statement earning him an affectionate nudge in the leg from Tae's foot. "I'm surprised Zura didn't ask me to be an instructor as well, but then again he might have been afraid that I'd make a fool of him in front of his Anti-Foreigner Fatheads."
Kondo shook his head. "No, I think it had more to do with the fact this position requires subtly, which in all honesty, is not exactly your strong point, Gintoki."
Gintoki seethed with anger, how dare they say he was obvious and obnoxious! The very nerve. "What kind of thing is that to say to a samurai?!" he demanded, agilely coming up from under the table at an incredible speed. "I can be very subtle! So subtle you wouldn't even know I was doing anything!"
"Oh yes, very subtle," said Kagura as she rolled her eyes. "It's not like you at all to fall off buildings and come crashing into rooms."
"I can be subtle," argued Gintoki indignantly as he sat back down beside her. "You just aren't paying attention when I am."
Kagura did not want to belabor the point; she was far too disinterested in the discussion to argue with her lover at this point, though he was not taking the hint and was rambling on and on about how he could be subtle. In her opinion, this was the exact opposite but she did not want the one-sided argument to drag out longer than it would without her input. She was far more fascinated with the way Kondo and Tae were behaving towards each other despite Gintoki's excessive ranting; there seemed to be a deeper level of affection between them, more than there was prior. She had noticed it somewhat after they announced they were going to have a baby, but she brushed it off as just some strange affect from finding out they had created a life together and that it would not be half-gorilla.
She had noticed too some differences between her relationship with Gintoki and her friend's relationship with her husband: Kondo was far more openly affectionate with Tae than Gintoki was with her, he often went out of his way to get her something he thought she would like, and he desperately tried to find new ways to make her happy. Kagura was not sure Gintoki did any of those things for her, after all he was not the warmest person to know on a good day; but then again, he did put his yukata on her the other day when it was rainy and windy and held her tightly as they walked home. When she asked him why he did that when she had her umbrella, he just said that he did not want her to get sick, as she was a pain in the ass when she was. 'Okay, I guess that was a somewhat affectionate,' she conceded.
The more she thought about it, the more she realized that he had done something that morning she liked, he had gone to the market and bought her soft baked apples to eat with some freshly prepared okayu. He claimed that she had woken him up in the middle of the night to place her order, which she could believe though what surprised her more was that he had not only remembered but he had gone and gotten them for her. 'Well, I suppose he did go out of his way to get me something I like,' she thought with a wistful smile.
She tried to think of a time recently when Gintoki had tried something with her because he wanted to see if it made her happy, though she was pretty sure he would count some of his new tricks in bed. Kagura felt her cheeks burn at the thought of what Gintoki had done the other night, even now the memory made her heart race in her chest and sent warmth spreading through her body. 'Yeah, I'll count that,' she mused as she glanced over at him; desperately hoping the blush on her cheeks was not as noticeable as she feared. 'I guess Gin's right, he is subtle, though not in the way he thinks.'
Kagura smiled as she put another stick of seaweed in her mouth, chewing thoughtfully as she thought about her relationship with Gintoki some more. There was no doubt in her mind that she loved him romantically, honestly if these thoughts continued the anime would drop from a comedic action story to a shojo one. Despite this, she felt that their relationship was missing something, something special. She looked once again at Tae, wondering what they had that she and Gintoki were missing, and the more she studied her friend the clearer the answer became.
'A baby!' she realized and as she continued to chew on her favorite snack, she dreamed of what it would be like to have a baby with Gintoki. The smile on her face should have been a very clear warning to all.