A/N: Hi, everyone! I know it's been a while since I last posted, but here's a silly little AU one-shot for you! I got the idea specifically off an episode of Farscape, but this is obviously a well-known concept. :)
Here's the character key, but I encourage you to read the fic for yourself and only refer back here if you really need to. :) Abby = Connor; Connor = Jess; Jess = Becker; Becker = Lester; Lester = Cutter; Cutter = Stephen; Stephen = Matt; Matt = Danny; Danny = Emily; Emily = Abby; Helen = Sarah; Sarah = Helen; Claudia = Jenny; Jenny = Claudia. (Props to TheSingingPterodactyl for the idea of switching Claudia and Jenny with themselves!)
Hope you enjoy!
"And why exactly would we have a sleepover at the ARC?" asked Lester.
"Because it'll be a good bonding experience," replied Cutter. "And it'll get Connor off my back for a bit. Him and Jess have been trying to get me to talk to you about it for months now."
Lester sighed. "Oh, well if it gets them off your back then we have no choice but to do it, have we?"
He chuckled. "… You're serious?"
"Yes, of course! If it gets them less focused on what they know I'll never give them and more focused on their work in the following days they're here, I see no harm in trying it out."
Cutter smirked. "You're only agreeing to this because Jess wants it, aren't you?"
Lester made no reply.
As the music blared and all the ARC members slept soundly, having been worn out from sleepover games and general fun, an anomaly opened silently. The alarms were drowned out by Connor's Spotify list, currently playing the Lord of the Rings soundtrack. The anomaly filled the air with invisible gas from an era long forgotten, but that wasn't the only surprise waiting for the team when they woke up.
As stealthy as a Raptor stalking its prey, Helen entered the ARC through the anomaly.
Danny was the first one to wake up. He felt entirely different from the way he remembered feeling when he went to sleep, which caused him to sit up. Instantly he looked down at his arms and realized something was wrong.
He looked around some more and found that things were far more wrong than he suspected at first: there, where he went to sleep, was his body, but he wasn't in it. His first thought? I need a shave.
Emily woke up next, but in a lot closer proximity to Connor than she remembered being when she fell asleep. She looked down at her wrist and saw the bracelet Connor had given Abby on their 1-year anniversary of being out of the Cretaceous. Am I in… Abby's body?
Everyone else woke up very soon after this.
"What on Earth is going on?" asked Lester.
"You tell me!" Matt demanded.
"Alright guys, clearly this is an anomaly, right? But why didn't we hear the alarm?" Abby tried to be calm.
"I'm afraid that would be me music," Connor confessed.
"You do have it playing very loudly in here, Connor, but I thought your alarms would take more than just music to drown it out," the woman in Sarah's body, Helen, said.
Connor was about to reply, but Cutter cut him off. "Alright, everyone, the first thing we need to do is figure out who is who, otherwise we'll never get anything done."
"I'm Jess!" she called out in a deep voice.
Everyone burst out in laughter except for Becker, who instantly lowered his head and wished he could go back to sleep.
"So Jess is Becker," Cutter managed to get out between chuckles. "I'm Cutter, who am I in?"
"You're in me, Stephen. What about me?"
"Stephen's in Matt, which is who I am, by the way," Matt stated.
Danny giggled. "And you're in me, mate."
Matt-in-Danny's-body just glared at Danny.
"Wha', ain't I prettier than usual?" Danny teased.
"Just make sure you treat Emily's body well. No… No roller-blading, alright? You got that?" Matt-in-Danny scowled.
"Aye aye, sir!" Danny-in-Emily replied.
"And I'm in Abby. This is Emily speaking," she said, trying to contain a smile from Matt and Danny's conversation.
"Hello, Emily. I'm right beside you," Abby said from Connor's body.
"Oh, hello!" Emily smiled kindly.
"Alright, so Abby is in Connor," Cutter clarified. "Where's Connor?"
"Right here, Cutter!" Connor-in-Jess said in a high pitched voice which made everyone laugh, including Becker.
"Oh, this is most amusing, wouldn't you all say?" Lester spoke up. "Perfect for a sleepover in one's place of work, right? Well, I for one vote we find a way to fix what this anomaly did to us and be on our merry way before the Minister calls!"
Everyone chuckled. "I think you've got more of a reason to want things to stay they are, mate," Connor-in-Jess said.
"Next time around, I'll have you stuffed in this body and see what you say about it."
"I think I have a very nice body, thank you, Lester," Cutter-in-Stephen stated.
Lester-in-Cutter scoffed.
"I agree!" Helen-in-Sarah added, a bit awkwardly.
"Thank you, Sarah. Who are you actually?"
"Oh, no one you'd miss if I went to search for the anomaly. Which I should go do right about now…" She braced her hands on the floor to push herself up.
"… Helen?"
"Hello, everyone," Helen-in-Sarah greeted with an evil smile behind her eyes.
"Becker, lock her up!" Claudia-in-Jenny ordered, sprung into action by the shock of having that woman back in the ARC.
"I don't have handcuffs," Becker-in-Lester replied.
"Oh, did I really choose this one time to take those out of my pocket?" Lester-in-Cutter huffed in annoyance at the irony.
"You carry handcuffs in your pocket?"
"Nevermind, just arrest that woman!"
Helen-in-Sarah smirked and stood up to run out of the ARC.
"I have handcuffs!" Jess-in-Becker exclaimed, immediately running over to Helen-in-Sarah and cuffing her with surprising expertise. "What? I watch a lot of cop shows!"
"You might as well be in a cop show, for all we do, Jessica," Becker-in-Lester commented.
"You mean for all you do. Or… for all I do… Or…"
Cutter-in-Stephen just smiled and went with Jess to take Helen to the holding cell in the ARC, waving Stephen-in-Matt to follow.
"So if Helen is in Sarah, where is Sarah?" Matt-in-Danny observed.
No one replied.
"Sarah?!" Danny-in-Emily asked worriedly.
"Okay, we need someone to go find Sarah. Any volunteers?"
"Wouldn't she just have her Black Box on?"
"I don't think anyone turned their Black Box on tonight. Besides, we're not even sure yet whose body she's in."
After taking down a list of who was in whose body, they determined that Sarah was stuck in Helen's body.
"But if she's in Helen's body," Abby-in-Connor started, "then she would've been awake when the transfer happened, since Helen was here asleep. She would've come and woken us all up once she realized what had happened."
"Unless she didn't realize that she wasn't asleep and just went back to sleep," Connor-in-Jess speculated.
"… That doesn't even make any sense, Conn."
"It does if you watch Star Trek."
"Is that even an actual episode?" Lester-in-Cutter asked in annoyance.
"… Never mind."
"So how do we get us all back to our normal bodies?" Jenny-in-Claudia wondered aloud.
"Me best guess would be to close the anomaly. It's likely some sort of prehistoric gas, and once it's locked the ventilation system will eventually filter enough of the gas out that we go back to normal."
"So we need a search team for the anomaly and for Sarah?" Jenny-in-Claudia confirmed.
"Yes," Matt-in-Danny agreed. "Now we know the anomaly is here in the ARC somewhere because the gas is here, but Helen's body could be anywhere."
"I'll look for her!" Danny-in-Emily volunteered. "Anyone else wanna come along?"
"I'll go," Claudia-in-Jenny offered.
"Me too," Jenny-in-Claudia did the same.
"That's gonna be interesting," Connor whispered to Becker.
"So you're Claudia, right?" Jenny asked.
"Yeah, and you're Jennifer Lewis?" Claudia confirmed, still not used to the "alternate universe" idea, let alone being her "other" body.
"Yes. You know, Cutter always talks about you."
"Does he?" She smirked.
"Never shuts up about you, in fact! Always loves to call me 'Claudia Brown' on accident. It gets old very quickly."
Claudia smirked even more.
"So you two 'ave never met before, 'ave you?" asked Danny-in-Emily.
"Nope, ever since I left the ARC I sort of made it a point to forget about all of… those things. No offence," she added hastily.
"Oh, none taken, let me assure you. I'd love to forget about it all as well, but working here doesn't really give you the opportunity," Claudia reassured.
"Don't think you two have much of a problem gettin' along, then!" Danny snorted, receiving a chuckle from the other two.
"Emily? Is that you?" a voice from down the hallway replied.
"Sarah?" Danny called.
"Yeah, it's me!" she said, walking quickly towards the group. "I think I've gone crazy, one moment I was sleeping and the next I was headed for the exit!"
"You're not crazy, 'less we all are, but something weird definitely did happen. An anomaly opened and let in some sor' of gas that switched our brains into different bodies."
"Oh, that makes sense why I thought my arms seemed less tan than usual. Who am I in?"
"You're Helen Cutter, actually. She must 'ave come in through the anomaly. She's in your body too, but we're fixin' that as fast as possible. There's another team working on findin' the anomaly. I'm Danny in Emily's body, and Claudia in Jenny and Jenny in Claudia."
"Wait, you lost me on the Claudia's."
"Yes, we're in each other's bodies," Jenny answered.
"Oh, well that's awkward."
"So tell me everything you know about anomalies," Jess-in-Becker demanded.
"What?" Helen asked, honestly confused.
"Jess…" Cutter started.
"Oh, don't worry, Professor, I was just trying to be Becker. It's not often you get this chance, right? How did I do? Was I convincing?"
"I think, under any normal circumstances, just being in Becker's body would be enough," Cutter smiled.
Jess giggled. "And what about you, Helena? Could you think I'm 'Captain Becker'?"
"Helena?" Helen was, again, thoroughly confused.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I just assumed Helen was short for Helena! Becker always calls me by my full name, so I thought…"
Helen just slowly rolled her eyes. "So Stephen…"
"Wait, are you talking to Stephen or Stephen-Stephen?" Jess inquired.
She glared and addressed Stephen-in-Matt. "What would you say if I said that I could make this all go away?"
"I wouldn't believe you," he replied coldly and honestly.
"Would you want me to? Or would you rather I stay in this body?" she asked slyly.
"While Sarah is indefinitely more attractive than you are, I imagine she's not having the greatest of days being stuck in your body. I know I wouldn't."
"And she has the same opinion as you do?"
"When it comes to you, yes. I'd say she does."
Helen smirked.
"Why are you here, Helen?" Cutter probed.
"As if I need a reason to re-enter my own world during my own era."
"She has a point..." Jess observed.
The other two just shrugged.
"Abby?" Emily-in-Abby asked as she walked by.
"Yeah?" Abby-in-Connor replied.
"Do you want your bracelet? I know how much it means to you, and I feel bad wearing it, even if it is your body."
"Yeah, that would be nice. Thanks." Abby smiled and put the bracelet on Connor's wrist. After a moment, they both laughed at the irony of whose wrist it had just been put on.
"D'ya think they're having too much fun with this?" Connor-in-Jess asked Becker.
"Them? I wouldn't know, but I think you are."
"Oi, touchy! I can't help it if I'm in your girlfriend's body."
"Jess and I-! We are not… a couple."
"Right, mate, whatever you say. Not as if we don't all see your smirk every time you think about her ending up in your body."
"She's odd to see in territory that is obviously unfamiliar to her. She's clumsy in my body. I find it… smirk-able."
"Sure, mate, sure."
"We need to find that anomaly. Soon," Matt-in-Danny stated, purposely ignoring Connor and Becker's conversation.
"We will, Matt. It will be fine," Emily comforted.
"The thought of your… of our bodies in the hands of someone else…"
"I appreciate that you're so protective of me and my rights, or whatever you wish to call this, but it's not as if I distrust Danny. We'll all be fine, you'll see."
"He spent too long in the Cretaceous, you see how much he needs to shave!" Matt-in-Danny pointed to his chin. "It's almost a full beard!" he laughed.
"It's hardly even fuzzy, Matt," she smiled warmly. "In my time, a man would not even think of keeping his face that empty."
"You want me to grow a beard, then?"
She laughed. "Please don't."
He laughed along with her.
"A beard? On Matt? Oh, this I've got to see!" Connor yelled from across the hallway.
"Shut up, Connor," Abby told him from his own body.
"Alright, me."
"Oh, shut up."
Everyone chuckled, except for Lester who was too busy trying to fix non-existent wrinkles in Cutter's pajamas.
As they passed by Lester's office, the phone rang.
"Of all the times, why now?" Lester mumbled as he rushed to answer the phone. "Hello?"
"Professor Cutter? Where is Lester?"
"This is Lester, Prime Minister. What can I do for you?"
"You don't sound like Lester."
"I assure you, sir, it's me."
"I think you've spent too much time around that professor of yours, James."
"You have no idea, sir."
The team soon found the anomaly and locked it. Soon the air went back to normal, and the gas dispersed and did no further harm. Everyone went back to their normal bodies and prepared to go back to sleep.
"So the Prime Minister's forces are going to come pick Helen up tomorrow?" Abby asked, in her own body.
"Yes, he says they've been waiting to get their hands on her for some time now," Lester replied.
"I can't imagine why, to be honest. I'll never be more glad to be rid of her," Stephen mumbled to Sarah.
"Me too," she replied. "One night in her body is enough for me, I'd rather not have any more dealings with her. I can't see how she lives with herself."
"What did you say?" Lester inquired to Sarah.
"Just insulting Helen," she smiled.
"Ah, well let's keep that at a maximum, shall we?"
"Sounds good to us," Cutter replied with a smirk.
Lester did not even comment, believing he'd spent too much energy on Cutter, if only Cutter's body, for one night.
"Becker?" Jess asked hesitantly.
"What is it, Jessica?"
"Your arms are… very strong," Jess openly yawned.
"Thank you, Jessica." Becker contained a yawn. "Please go to sleep before you make us all yawn."
"Yes, sir…" she mumbled, half asleep.
"Great idea, Becker. We might all trade voices if we yawn too hard, right?" Connor chuckled.
"Don't tell me that's a Star Trek episode, too, Conn," Abby said, nearly asleep on his shoulder.
"No, actually, it sounds more like Farscape. In fact, this whole night reminds me of an episo—"
"Goodnight, Connor," Matt and Stephen said simultaneously.
"Goodnight," he said as he rested his head on top of Abby's.
Suddenly Jess sat straight up in her sleeping bag. "Why did we never turn the music off?"
"Yeah," Sarah echoed, "and why is it still the Lord of the Rings soundtrack?"
"Don't look at me, I'm sleeping, remember?" Connor backed out of the question.
They all sighed and went back to sleep, hoping that things would all be normal when they woke up.
But this was the ARC, after all…
Hope you enjoyed! Please R&R, I would love to hear your thoughts!
I must apologize for the hints of totally AU Stephen/Sarah. It's a very weird, strong ship of mine and I don't even know why! Lol So please excuse me for that if you didn't like it, but if you did I encourage you to check out my fic "Iced Mocha" which is purely them! :)
Thanks for reading!