Hey all! It's been awhile, I know. I just don't have the time to write anymore between working fulltime and going to school fulltime as well. But after watching the last couple episodes and after what happened to Hodgins I got the itch to write something and I just figured I'd share it with you. As much as I hate how Hodgins has been treating Angela and all the others lately, I can see where he's coming from. And let's remember he was never very good at handling his anger to begin with. Anyways, without further adieu here's my one-shot tag to The Murder of the Meninist featuring Angela and Hodgins.
"Hey are you ready to… go?" Angela trailed off as she entered her husband's office with him nowhere to be seen. She spotted the open laptop and went over to investigate.
As she was reading the comment on the Spinal Cord Injury Survivors support group page her husband appeared behind her, "Angela."
"Hey," she said, surprised he had been able to sneak up on her that easily.
"What are you doing?" he asked as he rolled himself towards her.
She could tell he wasn't happy to see her looking through his laptop, "Oh, I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to."
He abruptly closed the laptop.
"But honey, that is, that's so great. You-you joined a support group."
"Yeah I did it's nothing. Can we just, can we go home now?"
"Yeah, yeah okay but why wouldn't you want to share that with me? I am so proud of you honey, this is going to help everything so much." He refused to talk to her about how he was feeling so it was good to see he was talking to someone although it hurt that he didn't think he could talk to her.
"Angela, I really really don't want to talk about it okay?"
She didn't want to keep pushing but he had to know that they were going to make it through this, "Look, I know this a process, but you're doing the work and everything is going to be okay. I-"
He cut her off before she could finish, "No, it's not. You don't know what the hell you're talking about. At least the people online you know they're honest you know. They-they know that I'm not just gonna snap back and be the person that I was before." His voice was raised, obviously agitated.
"Okay, umm, I'm trying my best here Hodgins. You-you do not have to yell at me." Clearly, Hodgins had taken to using her as a punching bag in this process.
"You think this is me being hard on you? Cuz you have no clue how much anger I'm holding back. So you can either deal with this or go. You know what you should yeah Angela you should go because I promise you this is not gonna get any easier."
He rolled himself out of the office, leaving Angela beaten and broken down.
She wiped at the tears running down her cheeks before taking a deep breath and composing herself. She grabbed her purse and headed out to the parking garage where she knew Hodgins would be waiting by their van. He had no choice but to wait for her to drive him home, argument or no argument.
Sure enough, there he was. Back to her, arms crossed across his chest.
"Jack," she said softly.
"Can we just go home?" He asked, eyes pleading with her.
"Okay," she said simply and unlocked the door, allowing him to use the lift to get into the passenger side.
Before she started the engine, she locked eyes with him, "Just so you know, I'm not going anywhere Hodgins."
He sighed, choosing not to respond, instead turning his head to look out the window.
They drove the entire way home in silence, not even music from the radio playing. When they arrived home, Angela got out of the car and headed straight inside, not even offering to help Hodgins. All the same he would've vehemently refused and probably started yelling at her again.
He went through the doorway and saw Angela crouched down in the living room, Michael Vincent hugged tightly against her, their babysitter Lena leaned against a counter in the kitchen. He could hear Angela quietly whisper how much she loved him in Michael Vincent's ear, eliciting a giggle and earning her one of his now classic missing tooth smiles.
"Sweetie, look its Daddy. Go say hi," she instructed, straightening up and going over to speak with Lena.
"Daddy! I missed you!" Michael Vincent yelled running over and launching himself into his father's arms.
"How could you miss me? I've only been gone for the day buddy." He pulled his boy close to him, settling him on his lap.
"Lena isn't good at playing dinosaurs, not like you."
"Oh I see, so you only missed my dinosaur playing abilities," Hodgins teased, tickling his son and genuinely smiling as he shrieked with laughter.
Angela watched on with a bittersweet smile. It was good to see Hodgins still behaving normally around their son but a part of her couldn't help but wonder how long it would take for his anger to start manifesting around Michael Vincent too. "Honey, I'm gonna go and change. You okay here?"
Despite his resounding "yes" she didn't miss the huge eye-roll.
"Michael Vincent, do you have your stuff ready for Aunt Brennan and Uncle Booth's?"
"Yes, Mommy."
"Good boy." Brennan had offered to take Michael Vincent for the night so that she could hash things out with Hodgins, or at least try to.
When she came back 15 minutes later, a pair of lounge pants and a t-shirt on, makeup removed, and hair up in a ponytail, she was surprised to find Hodgins and Michael on the floor of their living room playing with Michael's dinosaurs. Hodgins had been much too tired after work that past couple of weeks to even attempt to get down on the floor with Michael Vincent and play.
"What are you boys up to?"
"We're having a dinosaur war!" Michael Vincent responded, raising his t-rex in the air and roaring.
"Oh yeah? Sounds fun. Michael, Sweetie, do you want to eat here or do you want to go with your Aunt and Uncle to the diner for dinner?"
"The diner! Gina gives out cool stickers!"
She smiled, "Well she might not be there today kiddo."
"I still wanna go!"
"Okay, okay. The diner it is." The doorbell rang. As usual Brennan was right on time, "Alright buddy go grab your bag please."
She opened the door and greeted her best friend with a hug, "Thank you for doing this Sweetie, we really do appreciate it."
"Oh it's not a problem Angela. Christine and Hank love playing with Michael Vincent and he is such a well behaved little boy."
"Okay, well he's got all his stuff and I'll be by tomorrow around 10 to pick him up if that's okay."
"Of course, you can pick him up whenever."
"Aunt Brennan!" Michael Vincent yelled coming over and hugging her.
"Good evening Michael Vincent. Are you ready to go? Christine is waiting for you in the car."
Angela laughed as her son raced towards the car not even bothering to say goodbye to her or Hodgins.
Brennan rested a hand on her shoulder, "You two will get through this Ange."
"You're not going to spout some anthropological bullshit about how most marriages end in divorce especially after a spouse is severely injured?"
"No, because I love you both dearly and I know how much you love each other. So I am fairly confident in saying that if anyone can get through this, it is you and Hodgins."
Angela smiled, "I love you too Sweetie. Thank you again."
"Anytime Ange."
Angela closed the door and sighed, knowing that the real Hodgins would be back now that their son was out of the house. She made her way back into the living room where Hodgins was now situated on the couch watching a science program.
"Do you care what we do for dinner?" she asked not really expecting a response and sure enough, she didn't get one, "Okay well I'm just going to do spaghetti then."
"Do whatever you want Angela," he responded.
"Look Hodgins, I can't keep doing this okay? I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through, I know that, believe me I know that. But all I'm doing is trying to help and you just keep pushing me away."
"Like I said earlier, if you can't or don't want to deal with it, just leave. We both know you don't want to be here anyways."
She raised her eyebrows, "And what the hell is that supposed to me?"
He scoffed, "Oh come on Angela, who actually wants a paraplegic for a husband? Not a soul."
"Just because you're paralyzed does not mean that I don't want to be here. I love you, that's not going to change no matter what you say to me. But I don't deserve to be treated like shit just because you got dealt a crappy hand in life. Those other officers in the explosion, they didn't make it, but you did. You still have your life, your job, your son, me. I know you're tired of people saying how lucky you are to be alive but it's true. I am thankful every day that you are in that chair instead of dead. We've already lost Sweets and we could've easily lost you too. I don't know what I would've have done if you hadn't made it. So you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and start directing your anger in a more positive way. You know that Sweets would tell you the same thing if he were here."
"Are you done?" Hodgins asked.
"Yes," she replied, uncertain what his response would be.
"Good." He unpaused the TV and resumed his program.
She was taken aback, "What, now all the sudden you don't have anything to say?"
"Hey you said to direct my anger in a positive way and well what do we always tell Michael Vincent? If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." He smirked.
Angela rolled her eyes and finally took a seat on the other couch. "Stop being a smartass Hodgins. I'm trying to have a discussion with you here. We need to work this out."
"Why? So you can just leave me for another man when it finally sets in that I won't ever be able to walk again, let alone have more kids or make love to you again?"
"Why do you have it set in your head that I'm going to leave you just because you're paralyzed?"
He shook his head, starting to get agitated again, "Don't you get it? I wasn't good enough for you in the first place Ange, so I definitely don't deserve you now."
"Says who? I've never said that you weren't good enough."
"It's common sense Ange. You-you are this gorgeous, incredibly smart, talented, big-hearted, free-spirited woman. I'm just a paranoid scientist who grew up rich. In what world did we ever make sense to begin with? And now that I'm paralyzed-"
"Stop," she cut him off, "Don't you dare even finish that sentence Hodgins. I'm confused here. We've been married for almost 8 years now, we have a beautiful son together. You know how much of a wild child I was when we met. Do you honestly think I would have stayed with you for so long if I didn't truly love you?"
"It's called settling Angela. You saw the rest of the people your age, friends, co-workers, getting married, having kids so you had to settle for me to get the family you always wanted, the family that won't get to continue growing."
"Excuse me, did you just call me a fraud?"
Hodgins tilted his head in obvious agreement.
"How dare you!" She was getting pissed now. It was one thing for Hodgins to lash out at her in anger but to have him questioning her character and her motives was a whole different story. "How many times do I have to tell you that I love you, that I'm in love with you? Why do I need to prove that to you? If anything you're the one who's been acting like you don't love me anymore." He made to speak but she held up her hand, "No, I'm talking right now. I know what you're doing Jack. You're trying to push me away because you think that'll be easier for me, but I don't want easy. I want messy, complicated, and crazy and I want it with you. We made vows to each other, we promised to stick by one another even when things got rough. You once said to me that you would fight for me to the death and I will do the same. If you have to use me as a punching bag so be it but just know that I can be more than that for you. You don't have to carry this burden all on your own, Let me help you, let me support you as a wife should be able to support her husband."
She was crying now, furiously trying to wipe away the tears.
"Come here Ange," he said quietly.
She hesitated momentarily before recognizing the sincerity in his eyes. Sitting down beside him, she turned to look at him, not yet touching him.
He reached out and wiped at a stray tear she had missed and cupped her face in his hand. She closed her eyes, relishing in the comfort just his touch brought to her and even more tears spilled out of her gorgeous brown eyes.
"God I don't deserve you," he murmured.
Angela opened her mouth to protest but he stopped her, "Let me finish. You've been nothing but helpful and supportive to me these past 3 months and I flat-out lied to your face. That's not what partners do, so for that I am truly sorry Ange. I know that talking to you would be easier but try as you might, you can't possibly understand what I'm going through right now. And you've already helped me through so much, being buried alive, finding out my best friend was a killer, the grave digger's trial, finding out I have a brother. You have supported me through much more than I have ever been able to do for you so I didn't and still don't want you to be the person I have to lean on through this. It's not fair to you."
"But it's not about what's fair. Life isn't fair," Angela jumped in.
"Angela." He gave her a look telling her he wasn't finished.
"Sorry, continue."
"That's why I joined that support group. At least those people can understand better what I'm going through and I don't have to lean on you. I don't want to come home after dealing with death and murder all day and talk about my paralysis and how I feel about it with my wife. I want to talk about Michael Vincent's class project and your photography and all the things we used to talk about. I don't want or need special treatment just because I'm paralyzed. So I guess in a way I resented you and everyone else for constantly reminding me of the fact. I know everyone was trying to help but I don't need help."
"Okay, wow. I guess I never thought about it like that. But just know that everyone trying to help you was not out of pity. Booth, Brennan, Cam, Aubrey, Wendell, they all care about you. We're all family and family can't stand to see one of their own hurting."
He sighed, "I get that, I do and I promise I'll work on keeping my anger in check, but you should probably just get used to the paraplegic humor because baby that's probably not going to go away." He laughed, earning a smile from Angela.
"It's nice to hear you laugh," she said softly, linking their hands together and resting her head on his shoulder.
He pressed a kiss to the top of her hair, breathing in her scent.
"Okay, I know you don't want to talk about it, but one more thing?" She asked.
Hodgins sighed again, "What Angela?"
"Do you think talking to a professional might help?"
He frowned, "What like a psychologist?"
"Yeah, they might be able to help you channel your anger and frustration better."
"I don't know Ange. I haven't talked to a psychologist since Sweets died. It wouldn't feel right."
She sat up, "I know honey, but I really think it would help. It's your decision though. If you think the support group is enough then okay."
"I'll give it a go."
She smiled, "Thank you." She hesitated, mulling over what she was going to say next. "Are we okay?"
Hodgins wrapped his arm around her, "We're going to be okay babe." He leaned in and kissed her hard on the mouth, with more passion and emotion than he had since before the accident.
When they broke apart she set a hand on his cheek and looked into his bright blue eyes, "I love you."
"I love you too Angie. And we will have another baby, I promise. This-" he gestured to his legs, "Isn't going to stop me from giving you that big family you always wanted.
"We don't need to talk about this right now Jack."
"I know, I'm just letting you know."
They sat in silence for a few minutes before Angela untangled herself from Jack and stood up. "I'm going to order Chinese. Shrimp Lo Mein sound good?"
"Fine by me."
"Okay I'm going to go call it in and then maybe we can watch that documentary you've been telling me about?"
"Ange, I know you don't really like documentaries. We can watch something else, its okay."
"No, no, it's Friday, so technically its date night and it is your turn to choose so I mean whatever you wanna watch is fine."
"Okay well then I choose The Notebook."
She smiled big and bright, knowing that this had been the movie that had watched together when they had first started dating.
"If I recall correctly, you can practically recite that movie word for word," Hodgins teased. He had made fun of her for doing just that when they had first watched it together and had had trouble not laughing when she had burst into tears at the end.
"Hey and if I recall correctly, you got a little teary-eyed at the end Mr. Tough Guy."
"Did not! That is just a complete lie!" He protested.
"Okay, well we'll see when you cry again this time."
"You're so lucky I'm paralyzed otherwise I'd come over there and make you pay."
He saw her face drop even though she tried to hide it, "Sorry, guess you're not used to the paraplegic humor yet huh?" He pulled himself off the couch and into his chair. "I'm gonna go change, don't eat my food!"
She rolled her eyes, "I got my own food!" she called out as he rolled down the hallway.
"Didn't ever stop you before!" he yelled back, referring to the fact that she would always steal a bite or two of his food. "Hey, have you seen my grey sweats?"
"Yeah they're in the laundry room, I'll grab them."
She walked into their bedroom with the sweats and handed them to her husband, leaning down to kiss his cheek.
"Thank you Ange."
"Of course Sweetie. Do you need anything else?"
He glared at her, "Really?"
"Sorry, sorry, I'm going." The doorbell rang, "Oh, there's the food anyways. Have you seen my purse?"
"No, but my wallets on the table in the foyer."
"Right okay, well get ready to cry! And this time I'll get it on video!"
"And I'll get you on video reciting the whole damn movie! This works both way Ange!"
She smiled and walked out of the room. Things were nowhere near back to normal but they were getting there. It wasn't going to be easy and it wasn't going to go quickly, but when you have something worth fighting for, you do whatever it takes to work things out.
Okay so it had to kind of have a happy ending or at least that glimmer of hope that everything is going to be okay. That's just what I have to keep telling myself because if they break up Hodgins and Angela I'm probably going to lose my freaking mind, not even kidding. They are my absolute OTP and they've already been through so much. They are strong through and I think they can come out of this even stronger than before. Hope you enjoyed! Leave me a review and let me know what you think.
-Willie