I never stop thinking about her, even when she's lying in bed next to me. Her hair fanned out on the pillow, her eyes flutter whenever she dreams. Even though she's alive, she's still dead in my head. That flash of light haunts me, I should have stopped her. I should have talked her out of it. We could have figured out a way to stop it.
Someone is only forgotten when you forget about them, so she lives in my mind. A Song playing in my head, the lyrics speaking to me. Sometimes I just stare at her, losing myself in her eyes. I'll never forget her, the woman who died I mean. The brave, brave woman that saved everyone. She was older and knew me so well and I couldn't save her. I look back and think about how I felt. I didn't love her as such, not like the way I love her younger self now.
I know she feels safe in my arms, but I know when it comes to when it matters I won't be able to save her. I have to let my River Song die.