The Male GPS
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So I start with the disclaimer…I don't own NARUTO and I don't own anything by that company. I don't think I'll have any OC's BUT I do own my OC's in this story.
This is a story thought up by my brother and I. Hey also no flames…I'm just poking fun at the male stereo type of always knowing where they're going even if they don't. An AsuKure story.
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"Asuma…Are you sure you know where you're going?" Kurenai questioned as they walked through a busy shopping center. Asuma had told her that he had been here millions of time.
"Of course I know where I'm going. You know men have better navigation then women," he chuckled. Kurenai sighed softly wanting to give him a piece of her mind but what good would it make? She had never been to this shopping center before. Heck she hadn't been shopping for a while. She wore a nice red dress and a black sun hat.
"We've been walking for hours," Kurenai answered with a sigh.
"Don't worry…I know where I'm going. It's just a little detour," Asuma replied.
"Right," Kurenai muttered rolling her eyes. I'll believe that when he finds this place she thought. Within the hour he had found the store.
"See, just a little detour," Asuma smiled.
"Good…Oh and a…No smoking in the store," Kurenai chuckled evilly pulling the cigarette from his mouth before stomping it out.
"Yes your majesty," Asuma chuckled causing her to shoot him a glare. He held the door open for her as she entered.
"You didn't tell me we were going clothes shopping," Kurenai said looking through the racks of clothes.
"You said you didn't know the last time you went clothes shopping," Asuma answered trying to resist the urge to light up. She looked at a price tag and her mouth dropped. She looked at other price tags and there were more or about the same price.
"Asuma! All this stuff is expensive!" Kurenai whispered in his ear.
"It's alright…My wallet is always empty because of Choji," Asuma whispered back.
"No no no! I'm going to pay for everything if I find something I like," Kurenai answered.
"It's alright Kurenai," Asuma muttered.
"If your wallet is always empty then I cannot let you buy anything," she refused crossing her arms quickly.
"What do you like?" Asuma asked. She shook her head in disapproval.
"No," Kurenai answered walking away from him and the clothes. She leaned against a wall closing her eyes.
"We can always look on another floor," Asuma suggested. She opened one of them slightly as the thought perked her imagination.
"How many floors are there?" Kurenai asked as Asuma took her hand.
"About four or five. Let me show you," Asuma suggested taking her up a flight of stairs. Her attention was immediately caught by a red hat that matched her dress.
"Ooh, this is pretty," Kurenai cooed picking it up. She blushed softly as she remembered Asuma behind her.
"Do you want it?" Asuma asked.
"Oh no…I don't have anything that would match with it," Kurenai chuckled hesitantly. Asuma looked down at her dress curiously before looking back up at her face. It was more red than before as he took it from her.
"It matches your dress perfectly," Asuma answered as she reached for it.
"Oh but I don't need another hat," Kurenai sighed trying to get it as he held it above his head playfully.
"Kurenai it's alright. What else do you like?" he asked.
"Nothing…Oh my look at the time it's 4:58pm. We should start heading back," Kurenai snapped going back down the stairs. Asuma chuckled softly scratching his head before paying for the hat. He found her downstairs on a bench with a very deep frown.
"Take it back," Kurenai snapped.
"No. I want to treat you but if you want to go home that's fine," Asuma sighed helping her up before opening the door. She sighed as he handed her the bag as they left. Worriedly Asuma looked left and right trying to remember the way back to Konoha.
"Are you alright," Kurenai asked curiously.
"Yeah, it's this way," Asuma lied. He really wasn't sure where to go. She followed him dutifully for about an hour before stopping.
"We've pass this tree…" she said crossing her arms.
"You know all trees look a like. Kurenai I know where I'm going. All men know how to navigate in the toughest areas," Asuma answered.
"We've pass this tree, twice," Kurenai snapped. She placed her hands on her hips knowing that they were probably lost.
"Don't worry Kurenai we're just taking a little detour," Asuma tried to sooth.
"We're lost…aren't we?" Kurenai asked as Asuma began to walk forward.
"Why would you say such a thing? Don't you trust me?" Asuma asked cringing at the thought of being lost.
"Oh I trust you…But I'm pretty sure we're lost," Kurenai sighed following Asuma. They walked around for another two hours before Kurenai stopped again.
"I know where I'm going Kurenai," Asuma said becoming more and more frustrated.
"Wait here for a moment," Kurenai muttered as she went into a store. Four minutes later she came out with several ribbons.
"What are those for?" Asuma asked.
"Oh…For marking where we have been," Kurenai answered.
"You're still saying we're lost? Trust me Kurenai I know where we're going," Asuma chuckled lighting up a cigarette. Kurenai followed him once more for another hour.
Kurenai cleared her throat placing her hands on her hips, "Asuma…this is one long SHORT cut."
"It just takes awhile to get back to the village," Asuma answered with a chuckle.
"Oh really?" Kurenai demanded hinting at all of the ribbons she tied to objects. They were everywhere meaning that they had passed by MUTIPLE times.
"What do you want me to say?" Asuma asked.
"Say we're lost," Kurenai demanded.
"Never…because we're not lost. It's just a long short cut," Asuma answered.
"You know they need a replacement Santa Claus for the Konoha parade next year," Kurenai chuckled evilly.
"You wouldn't dare," Asuma said with a deadly glare.
"I would. Now say those two words," Kurenai demanded.
"No and we're not lost. All men have a GPS," Asuma answered.
"We're lost. And obviously you don't have a GPS!" Kurenai snapped.
"Kurenai, I know where we're going," Asuma sighed.
"Fine…You can go your way and I'll go mine," Kurenai answered heading in the opposite way.
"Kurenai," Asuma muttered scratching the back of his head softly.
"What?" she asked turning around.
"Let me escort you home," he said lovingly.
"If that's the way that you're going to say we're lost…then okay!" she said happily but with an evil smile. She knew that he would come around to her side eventually.
"You're not going to do the Santa Claus thing, right?" Asuma asked as they walked through the deserted streets.
"Have you said we're lost?" Kurenai asked looking up at him.
"Well no," Asuma answered.
"Then of course I'm going to do it!" Kurenai giggled. Asuma groaned softly knowing that if he admitted to being lost it would be a blow to his ego and if he didn't the Santa suit would be another blow. She smiled up at him cruelly having fun toying with his mind. Kurenai kissed his cheek softly knowing that he was whipped.