TITLE: I and I Am Zack
BY: Stephanie18
DATE: November 17, 2001
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any part of Dark Angel. Mr. Help The Boat Is Sinking and Mr. Egg Man own it. I think. I did create May however.
SPOILERS: Season two, the episode "Some Assembly Required"
RATING: PG
DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first. CLOUD7842@aol.com
FEEDBACK: That's why they make that review box...
NOTES: Zack is my least favorite character (couldn't tell you why) and yet I have written two stories that are his POV. I dunno. Maybe my mind is just warped. I don't know where this came from, but I liked it. If you don't, oh well. It may sound bitter on Zack's point, but think about it. If someone erased your memory, would you feel swell about it? Didn't think so. And he's got the whole "My memory isn't what it used to be" thing going on too.
Zack POV
I am Zack. Adam Thompson does not exist. I am Zack. Zack is I. I'm a soldier. My mission is to get a life. I technically have one. Well, it isn't my real life. I'm really a soldier. Well, I was. I escaped from Manticore when I was a kid. Of course, I got hauled back after a failed mission. I gave my heart to Max and then I got even more revved up than I already was. I returned and Max shipped me off to a farm with Buddy and Mary. Liars. Logan convinced them to lie. Speaking of the traitor, he was the one who ruined the mission to destroy Manticore. I would have all my regular parts if it wasn't for him. Him. Why is everything about him? Always seeking the spotlight. 'Oh look at me, I'm paralyzed!' Maybe I'll get back and destroy him... reclaim my life with Max.
But then again, I've got May now. May is even better than Max I think. Although I do find it a little odd that their names are so close. But they are so different. May is kind and gentle and Max is a little forceful. Of course, Max can be mush sometimes, but I don't need any ass kickings. May would never kick my ass. She's too sweet for that... maybe too sweet. Sometimes she cares too much. Whatever. Then again... it is all a lie. Adam isn't real. I am a hundred percent Zack. Well, mostly Zack. I'm not counting my new parts.
It's not like I've got it horrible here. I mean, food, board, and caring people. What more could I ask for? I suppose I could ask for a real life. Instead of living on the ranch and not doing much of anything, I could be out in a big city doing more exciting things, but since I'm playing the part of Adam, I can't do any of that. I want to know how I got here in the first place. I just know it has something to do with Logan. All bad things always get traced back to him. Damn Logan. If he didn't exist... hell, my life would be perfect. I wouldn't have pieces of metal in me and I wouldn't be out here, separated from everything good.
"Adam."
It's May. Why does she always visit me? I like being in my tiny little cabin, alone, but she comes over "just to check on me." Oh goodie. Why can't I be left alone? Why?
"Come in."
May opens the door to my tiny cabin and smiles at me. That big, 'I'm so cheery, everybody loves me' smile. The one I can't keep away. At first I tried to push her away, but it only made her more intent on getting to me. She got to Adam, though. I'm Zack.
She sits down on the edge of the bed, staring at me. I know that face. It's her 'I care, but I'm also going to be a psychology student next year, tell me your problems' face. Good for her. I've been feeding her crap about me having abandonment and leadership issues. She eats it up like it's a delicacy. Then again, it really is. I am Zack. I am a rock.
"Are you okay?"
Ah, the good old lead in question. It's always about me, isn't it May? Wasn't that our topic last week? In the beginning, I, or I should say, Adam loved her. I'm Zack. I broke through the façade. Now I can't stand her sugary sweet attitude. Sure, she cares, but it's the annoying smothering kind of caring.
"I'm fine."
My response is always the same. She's not stupid, I would think she would've got it by now. I feed her lies until she's full, then she kisses my cheek and leaves. Today I'm turning away. Today is the day I leave the lie. I assume they know. Well, Buddy and Mary know at least. May seems naïve. Not a great quality in a shrink.
"Are you sure?"
All aboard the merry-go-round. This is going to turn into the same question, but phrased so many different ways. She's good at that. Maybe she should be a lawyer. She's really good at twisting things so they go her way. That's one of the ways she got Adam, but I'm Zack.
"Look, May, I really think you're...swell, but -"
"Oh my God. You're dumping me!"
For lack of a better word, yes.
"I'm not dumping. I'm just saying let's relax a bit."
And break up.
"I cannot believe you are dumping me Adam!"
Here comes the hissy fit. That's another quality of hers. She storms up and looks at me, hands flailing about as she speaks, loudly.
"I brought you back to mental health! I was here for you!"
Brought me back to mental health? That was actually the chip in my head reloading. And here for me? Oh, she must mean grilling me about my "rough and turbulent childhood." The one she dissected and wrote a term paper on? Right. It's all so clear now.
"Adam, you are selfish. Do you know that?"
"I'm selfish? I'M SELFISH?"
Sorry May, but here comes the Temper Express.
"May, how does letting you rip apart the details of my life for a school report make me selfish? How does me letting you burrow through my mind make me selfish? And tell me this, if you're going to be such a damn good psychotherapist, why couldn't you recognize the signs? Good shrinks know their patients and know what they're thinking! You should've seen this coming!"
She slaps me in the face and storms out of my cabin. Damn. She got skin. Bitch. Does she have any idea how long it takes to grow it back?
So, it shouldn't be too hard for me to find a way to pin all of this on Logan, right?
~Fin~
BY: Stephanie18
DATE: November 17, 2001
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any part of Dark Angel. Mr. Help The Boat Is Sinking and Mr. Egg Man own it. I think. I did create May however.
SPOILERS: Season two, the episode "Some Assembly Required"
RATING: PG
DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first. CLOUD7842@aol.com
FEEDBACK: That's why they make that review box...
NOTES: Zack is my least favorite character (couldn't tell you why) and yet I have written two stories that are his POV. I dunno. Maybe my mind is just warped. I don't know where this came from, but I liked it. If you don't, oh well. It may sound bitter on Zack's point, but think about it. If someone erased your memory, would you feel swell about it? Didn't think so. And he's got the whole "My memory isn't what it used to be" thing going on too.
Zack POV
I am Zack. Adam Thompson does not exist. I am Zack. Zack is I. I'm a soldier. My mission is to get a life. I technically have one. Well, it isn't my real life. I'm really a soldier. Well, I was. I escaped from Manticore when I was a kid. Of course, I got hauled back after a failed mission. I gave my heart to Max and then I got even more revved up than I already was. I returned and Max shipped me off to a farm with Buddy and Mary. Liars. Logan convinced them to lie. Speaking of the traitor, he was the one who ruined the mission to destroy Manticore. I would have all my regular parts if it wasn't for him. Him. Why is everything about him? Always seeking the spotlight. 'Oh look at me, I'm paralyzed!' Maybe I'll get back and destroy him... reclaim my life with Max.
But then again, I've got May now. May is even better than Max I think. Although I do find it a little odd that their names are so close. But they are so different. May is kind and gentle and Max is a little forceful. Of course, Max can be mush sometimes, but I don't need any ass kickings. May would never kick my ass. She's too sweet for that... maybe too sweet. Sometimes she cares too much. Whatever. Then again... it is all a lie. Adam isn't real. I am a hundred percent Zack. Well, mostly Zack. I'm not counting my new parts.
It's not like I've got it horrible here. I mean, food, board, and caring people. What more could I ask for? I suppose I could ask for a real life. Instead of living on the ranch and not doing much of anything, I could be out in a big city doing more exciting things, but since I'm playing the part of Adam, I can't do any of that. I want to know how I got here in the first place. I just know it has something to do with Logan. All bad things always get traced back to him. Damn Logan. If he didn't exist... hell, my life would be perfect. I wouldn't have pieces of metal in me and I wouldn't be out here, separated from everything good.
"Adam."
It's May. Why does she always visit me? I like being in my tiny little cabin, alone, but she comes over "just to check on me." Oh goodie. Why can't I be left alone? Why?
"Come in."
May opens the door to my tiny cabin and smiles at me. That big, 'I'm so cheery, everybody loves me' smile. The one I can't keep away. At first I tried to push her away, but it only made her more intent on getting to me. She got to Adam, though. I'm Zack.
She sits down on the edge of the bed, staring at me. I know that face. It's her 'I care, but I'm also going to be a psychology student next year, tell me your problems' face. Good for her. I've been feeding her crap about me having abandonment and leadership issues. She eats it up like it's a delicacy. Then again, it really is. I am Zack. I am a rock.
"Are you okay?"
Ah, the good old lead in question. It's always about me, isn't it May? Wasn't that our topic last week? In the beginning, I, or I should say, Adam loved her. I'm Zack. I broke through the façade. Now I can't stand her sugary sweet attitude. Sure, she cares, but it's the annoying smothering kind of caring.
"I'm fine."
My response is always the same. She's not stupid, I would think she would've got it by now. I feed her lies until she's full, then she kisses my cheek and leaves. Today I'm turning away. Today is the day I leave the lie. I assume they know. Well, Buddy and Mary know at least. May seems naïve. Not a great quality in a shrink.
"Are you sure?"
All aboard the merry-go-round. This is going to turn into the same question, but phrased so many different ways. She's good at that. Maybe she should be a lawyer. She's really good at twisting things so they go her way. That's one of the ways she got Adam, but I'm Zack.
"Look, May, I really think you're...swell, but -"
"Oh my God. You're dumping me!"
For lack of a better word, yes.
"I'm not dumping. I'm just saying let's relax a bit."
And break up.
"I cannot believe you are dumping me Adam!"
Here comes the hissy fit. That's another quality of hers. She storms up and looks at me, hands flailing about as she speaks, loudly.
"I brought you back to mental health! I was here for you!"
Brought me back to mental health? That was actually the chip in my head reloading. And here for me? Oh, she must mean grilling me about my "rough and turbulent childhood." The one she dissected and wrote a term paper on? Right. It's all so clear now.
"Adam, you are selfish. Do you know that?"
"I'm selfish? I'M SELFISH?"
Sorry May, but here comes the Temper Express.
"May, how does letting you rip apart the details of my life for a school report make me selfish? How does me letting you burrow through my mind make me selfish? And tell me this, if you're going to be such a damn good psychotherapist, why couldn't you recognize the signs? Good shrinks know their patients and know what they're thinking! You should've seen this coming!"
She slaps me in the face and storms out of my cabin. Damn. She got skin. Bitch. Does she have any idea how long it takes to grow it back?
So, it shouldn't be too hard for me to find a way to pin all of this on Logan, right?
~Fin~