Disclaimer: The world of Harry Potter and its characters are not mine.
Note: Unrequited feelings towards a sibling
Summary: On the observation wheel, James stands apart from the crowd, his hand holding the last box of chocolates that Albus had made at the shop.
A/N: Written for HP rarepair_shorts (prompt: wheel in the sky).
From a Broken Toy Box
1. Falling Light
The observation wheel turned in slow motion, taking the visitors towards the evening sky before bringing them down to earth again. In one of the capsules, James Potter stood apart from the crowd and looked out at the metropolis beneath his feet: pretty glitter against the coming night. His headphones fed decades-old music into his ears, a minimalist piece featuring frail female vocal atop trip hop beats and prominent bassline. Even though he was surrounded by people, he was lost in his own world.
Once upon a time, he had ridden this observation wheel with Albus and Lily, three young fugitives running away from home and from reality. The myriad lights below, the cobalt blue sky above, the sensation of hovering between heaven and earth, Lily leaning against his side, and Albus clutching his hand as if afraid of letting go—he remembered everything.
The magic had lasted only for a short while, but it was one of the most memorable moments in his life. Now that the spell was broken, he saw the world beneath him for what it was: the distorted reality of an ordinary metropolis.
The skyline of the city he grew up in seemed at once familiar yet foreign. Some of the landmarks had survived the onslaught of age and waning interest, while others had perished to make way for the new. As he contemplated the view, there was no feeling of awe welling up inside him, and no pangs of nostalgia striking a chord in his heart. What lay before him was neither his home nor his Neverland. It was a tourist's view of the city, a scenery meant to dazzle and to impress.
From his bag James took out a box of chocolates. The pastel blue box was bound in a chocolate brown ribbon. Stamped on the lid of the box was the name of the chocolaterie he would not visit again. As his lips curved into a crooked smile, James pulled off the ribbon and opened the lid. Inside the box were twelve compartments, eleven of which were empty, and one of which contained a piece of chocolate.
This box of chocolates was the last batch of chocolates Albus made at the shop before he left the country to train abroad. The chocolates had already passed the expiry date, but James did not mind. He had no doubt that this last piece of chocolate would still taste better than the finest chocolate Honeydukes had to offer. A fine chocolatier he was, this younger brother of his.
At the thought, James wanted to smile, but his facial muscles felt strained. Even without looking at his reflection in the glass, he could tell his smile resembled a grimace.
Twenty-five days ago, he stopped lying awake in bed in the middle of the night. Fifteen days ago, he had grown accustomed to Albus' absence and silence. Ten days ago, he had almost forgotten his heartache. Three days ago, he was eager to get everything over with and restore his life to how it should have been. After a month of denial and longing, he was here at last with one final piece of the puzzle to devour. Without ceremony he took the chocolate and put it in his mouth.
"Don't bite. Let it melt on your tongue." James heard Albus speaking to him from the depths of his memory.
Holding the chocolate in his mouth, James gazed at the darkening sky and waited. The coating was made of dark chocolate, bitter and rich. It took only a few beats for the shell to melt and unveil its secret. A gush of chocolate ganache flowed into his mouth, bringing with it a hint of coffee liqueur. The taste reminded him of the coffee Albus used to make for him, and his knitted brow relaxed ever so slightly. Little by little the chocolate dissolved inside him, leaving only a bittersweet aftertaste behind.
It was over, James told himself as he closed the lid on the chocolate box that was as empty as he was. From this day onwards, he would keep his feelings for Albus locked away in a box inside him. He would be fine, he reminded himself. Even if he was not entirely fine, he could take comfort in knowing that Albus was able to realise his dream and live the life he wanted. Besides, he still had his work, his music, his comrades, his friends and the rest of his family. He would survive.
With a slight jolt the ride came to an end. James got off the capsule with his fellow passengers, his feet once more on solid ground. When he spotted a litter bin nearby, he dropped the empty chocolate box inside. Unable to resist, he cast one last look at the observation wheel: an ever revolving circle of light overshadowing heaven, the monstrous wheel of fortune in this clockwork city. There was nothing for him here; there never was.
A light breeze brought along the autumnal chill and a touch of moisture. When was the last time it rained, James wondered as he absently wiped his cheek with the back of his hand. Night spilled over from the east and into the west, where a brush of twilight lingered at the edge of the deepening dusk.
Albus once likened one of James' songs to the blue hour. If James were to close his eyes, he could almost picture the scene in his head: the painting on the grey-blue living room wall, Albus sprawling on the faux velvet sofa, and green eyes watching his every move.
"It's not very cheery, is it?" Albus would say. "You can call it The Blue Hour or something." His lips would then curve into a vague smile that seemed to hold too much meaning or nothing at all. "I like it better when you aren't playing the loveable joker."
A clash of drums, bass and electric guitar blasted through the headphones and into James' consciousness. Pressing his lips together, he turned away from the observation wheel and let the song drown out the voice of a certain someone he was not supposed to have.
To be continued...
A/N: This piece is inspired by Buck-Tick's "Rasen Mushi". Thank you for reading.