Disclaimer: We do not own Trigun, and we do not own Whose Line is it
anyway. This is a fanfic. Get over it already!!!
Show 1: Whose Line is it Anyway, Dammit!! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -
Vash: Hello, and welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway Dammit! A show where everything is made up, and the points don't matter.
Legato: Neither does your worthless life.
Vash: Um...well...yeah...anyway, tonight we have everyone's Western samauri role model: Rei Dei the Blade! Next we have everyone's anger management role model: Millions Knives.
Knives: Must... kill... spider....
Vash: .....Right. After that is everyone's Godly role model: Nicholas D. Wolfwood. And last but not least, everyone's suicidal role model: Legato.
Legato pulls something from his pocket and starts munching on it.
Wolfwood: *nervously looking around* I'm surrounded by psychopaths. Can I go home?
Vash: *grinning broadly* No! okay. Our first game is called Questions Only. The name is self-explanatory, so let's not waste any time! This game is for everyone.
Rei Dei and Knives get on the left side, and Wolfwood and Legato get on the right.
Vash: Okay all we need now is a situation.
The crowd shouts out random suggestions.
Vash: Our situation is: you're lost on an expidition up Mt. Everest.
Knives and Wolfwood step up first.
Knives: Where are we going?
Wolfwood: Which way is down?
Knives: Why are you asking me?
Wolfwood: I don't know.....dammit!
Wolfwood walks off and is replaced by Legato.
Legato: Is the trail blocked?
Knives: Where is the trail?
Legato: Where ever the boulders are.
Vash rings the buzzer and Wolfwood steps back up.
Wolfwood: How are our rations?
Knives: Where are they?
Wolfwood: Should I look for them?
Knives: What do you think, dumbass?
Wolfwood: Why are you s mean?
Knives: Because I kill weaklings!!!!
Vash rings the buzzer and Knives is replaced by Rei Dei.
Rei Dei: Did you find the food?
Wolfwood: What do you think? *points to invisible object on ground*
Rei Dei: *looks at invisible object* What happened to all of the food?
Wolfwood: Should we resort to cannibalism?
Rei Dei: Who's first?
Knives, Legato, and Rei Dei surround Wolfwood.
Wolfwood: Why me?!?!?
Vash: *ringing the buzzer repeatedly* Um...I think that that's enough for our first game. Thousand points to everyone except for Wolfwood who mentioned cannibalism
Legato licks his left hand.
Vash: That was just freaky.....
Wolfwood: grrrrrrrr.........................
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Vash: Our next game is Three-Headed Broadway Star for Knives, Wolfwood, and Legato.
Knives, Wolfwood, and Legato stand up.
Vash: We need an unlikely title for a Broadway play.
Crowd shouts out random suggestions.
Vash: Okay "Ode to the Inlaws" it is.
Music starts playing and the three wrap their arms around each others shoulders.
Knives: I
Wolfwood: don't
Legato: know
Knives: what
Wolfwood: to
Legato: dooooooooo
Knives: my
Wolfwood: inlaws
Legato: are
Knives: after
Wolfwood: me
Legato: and
Knives: yoooooooooo
Wolfwood: I
Legato: think
Knives: I'll
Wolfwood: kill
Legato: them
Knives: so
Wolfwood: they'll
Legato: go
Knives: awayyyyyyyy
Wolfwood: so
Legato: my
Knives: wife
Wolfwood: and
Legato: I
Knives: will
Wolfwood: be
Legato: here
Knives: to
Wolfwood, Legato, and Knives: STAAYYYYYYYYY!!
Vash: *crying* *sniff* that was so...touching. Anyway, a hundred points to everyone but Wolfwood because he said "kill".
Wolfwood: Stupid little #@$~*!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Vash: Our next game is called At a Party and is for everyone. Yes, you too Wolfwood. Rei Dei is a host who is throwing a party. Wolfwood, Knives, and Legato are each guests and Rei Dei will have to figure out who or what they are. I hope you all left your dignity back in your respective seats, here we go!
Rei Dei: Oh boy! *sarcasticaly* I wonder when the guests will arrive.
Doorbell rings.
Knives: *walks through the "door" on all fours and begins to up agains Rei Dei's legs* Nyao!
Rei Dei: Eeep! Get out of here you stupid KuroNeko Sama!
The audience applauds as Knives goes back to his seat.
The doorbell rings.
Rei Dei: Oh, hello there, can I he--
Legato enters into the room and falls onto the floor
Rei Dei: Are you okay?
Doorbell rings and Rei Dei opens the "door".
Wolfwood: *looking around* uh duh ruh Wolfwood?
Rei Dei: Huh?
Legato stands back up on his feet.
Wolfwood: *walks up to Legato* WOLFWOOD!!!
Legato falls down again.
Rei Dei: Wolfwood, quit being a retard!!!
Wolfwood walks back to his seat as the crowd cheeers and applaudes.
Vash: You need to guess who Legato is?
Rei Dei: Okay....um.....he's that anemic chick from the Excel Saga.
Vash: Oh, so close. He doesn't have any knee caps. Oh well seven hundred points to everyone except for Rei Dei, because he's a loser.
Rei Dei: *blinks in disbelief* Whatever.
Legato: Foolish mortal.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --
Vash: We've got one more game left today, and that's the hoe down!!
The crowd cheers wildly.
Vash: Today's winner, out of pity for lack of platella, is Legato!
The crowd cheers and applauds again.
Vash: That means that you get to sit in the chair and I participate in the hoe down.
Legato walks over and sits in the chair and Vash takes his place on stage.
Legato: Which one of you wants to pick the subject for the hoe down?
Crowd yells out random suggestions.
Legato: Fine. We'll have the cabbage hoe down. *shudders*
The hoe down music begins to play and Rei Dei, Knives, Wolfwood, and Vash stand in a line.
Rei Dei: I sat down to dinner just the other day After sword slashing and related swordplay I walked over, and looked in the fridge And all I had was a freaking cabbage.
Knives: Whenever I see cabbage, I really have a fit I always get lighter fluid and pour that all over it When the veggie burns to ash, I laugh maniacally Because that's what I'll do with Vash's dead body.
Wolfwood: I saw a cabbage sitting in a bin I got my confessional, and it told me all its sins I helped him out until all his problems were at bay But the thing that really pissed me off is that it didn't pay.
Vash: I don't like cabbages, they're really, really gross It looks like the stuff that grows in between Meryl's toes I would never eat them, no ifs, ands, or buts. I just want a giant bag of steaming donuts.
Everybody: Of steaming donuts!!!!!!!
Meryl: YOU STUPID DONUT MUNCHING CREEP!
Vash: Until next time *gulp*, I'll be running from Meryl. GOOD NIGHT!
A very angry Meryl chases vash off the stage and out of the studio.
Knives: So, If I'm not mistaken, we were about to eat the priest, am I correct?
Wolfwood: Don't eat me! God will punish you if you do!!
Knives, Legato, and Rei Dei chase Wolfwood away and the curtain closes.
Show 1: Whose Line is it Anyway, Dammit!! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -
Vash: Hello, and welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway Dammit! A show where everything is made up, and the points don't matter.
Legato: Neither does your worthless life.
Vash: Um...well...yeah...anyway, tonight we have everyone's Western samauri role model: Rei Dei the Blade! Next we have everyone's anger management role model: Millions Knives.
Knives: Must... kill... spider....
Vash: .....Right. After that is everyone's Godly role model: Nicholas D. Wolfwood. And last but not least, everyone's suicidal role model: Legato.
Legato pulls something from his pocket and starts munching on it.
Wolfwood: *nervously looking around* I'm surrounded by psychopaths. Can I go home?
Vash: *grinning broadly* No! okay. Our first game is called Questions Only. The name is self-explanatory, so let's not waste any time! This game is for everyone.
Rei Dei and Knives get on the left side, and Wolfwood and Legato get on the right.
Vash: Okay all we need now is a situation.
The crowd shouts out random suggestions.
Vash: Our situation is: you're lost on an expidition up Mt. Everest.
Knives and Wolfwood step up first.
Knives: Where are we going?
Wolfwood: Which way is down?
Knives: Why are you asking me?
Wolfwood: I don't know.....dammit!
Wolfwood walks off and is replaced by Legato.
Legato: Is the trail blocked?
Knives: Where is the trail?
Legato: Where ever the boulders are.
Vash rings the buzzer and Wolfwood steps back up.
Wolfwood: How are our rations?
Knives: Where are they?
Wolfwood: Should I look for them?
Knives: What do you think, dumbass?
Wolfwood: Why are you s mean?
Knives: Because I kill weaklings!!!!
Vash rings the buzzer and Knives is replaced by Rei Dei.
Rei Dei: Did you find the food?
Wolfwood: What do you think? *points to invisible object on ground*
Rei Dei: *looks at invisible object* What happened to all of the food?
Wolfwood: Should we resort to cannibalism?
Rei Dei: Who's first?
Knives, Legato, and Rei Dei surround Wolfwood.
Wolfwood: Why me?!?!?
Vash: *ringing the buzzer repeatedly* Um...I think that that's enough for our first game. Thousand points to everyone except for Wolfwood who mentioned cannibalism
Legato licks his left hand.
Vash: That was just freaky.....
Wolfwood: grrrrrrrr.........................
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Vash: Our next game is Three-Headed Broadway Star for Knives, Wolfwood, and Legato.
Knives, Wolfwood, and Legato stand up.
Vash: We need an unlikely title for a Broadway play.
Crowd shouts out random suggestions.
Vash: Okay "Ode to the Inlaws" it is.
Music starts playing and the three wrap their arms around each others shoulders.
Knives: I
Wolfwood: don't
Legato: know
Knives: what
Wolfwood: to
Legato: dooooooooo
Knives: my
Wolfwood: inlaws
Legato: are
Knives: after
Wolfwood: me
Legato: and
Knives: yoooooooooo
Wolfwood: I
Legato: think
Knives: I'll
Wolfwood: kill
Legato: them
Knives: so
Wolfwood: they'll
Legato: go
Knives: awayyyyyyyy
Wolfwood: so
Legato: my
Knives: wife
Wolfwood: and
Legato: I
Knives: will
Wolfwood: be
Legato: here
Knives: to
Wolfwood, Legato, and Knives: STAAYYYYYYYYY!!
Vash: *crying* *sniff* that was so...touching. Anyway, a hundred points to everyone but Wolfwood because he said "kill".
Wolfwood: Stupid little #@$~*!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Vash: Our next game is called At a Party and is for everyone. Yes, you too Wolfwood. Rei Dei is a host who is throwing a party. Wolfwood, Knives, and Legato are each guests and Rei Dei will have to figure out who or what they are. I hope you all left your dignity back in your respective seats, here we go!
Rei Dei: Oh boy! *sarcasticaly* I wonder when the guests will arrive.
Doorbell rings.
Knives: *walks through the "door" on all fours and begins to up agains Rei Dei's legs* Nyao!
Rei Dei: Eeep! Get out of here you stupid KuroNeko Sama!
The audience applauds as Knives goes back to his seat.
The doorbell rings.
Rei Dei: Oh, hello there, can I he--
Legato enters into the room and falls onto the floor
Rei Dei: Are you okay?
Doorbell rings and Rei Dei opens the "door".
Wolfwood: *looking around* uh duh ruh Wolfwood?
Rei Dei: Huh?
Legato stands back up on his feet.
Wolfwood: *walks up to Legato* WOLFWOOD!!!
Legato falls down again.
Rei Dei: Wolfwood, quit being a retard!!!
Wolfwood walks back to his seat as the crowd cheeers and applaudes.
Vash: You need to guess who Legato is?
Rei Dei: Okay....um.....he's that anemic chick from the Excel Saga.
Vash: Oh, so close. He doesn't have any knee caps. Oh well seven hundred points to everyone except for Rei Dei, because he's a loser.
Rei Dei: *blinks in disbelief* Whatever.
Legato: Foolish mortal.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --
Vash: We've got one more game left today, and that's the hoe down!!
The crowd cheers wildly.
Vash: Today's winner, out of pity for lack of platella, is Legato!
The crowd cheers and applauds again.
Vash: That means that you get to sit in the chair and I participate in the hoe down.
Legato walks over and sits in the chair and Vash takes his place on stage.
Legato: Which one of you wants to pick the subject for the hoe down?
Crowd yells out random suggestions.
Legato: Fine. We'll have the cabbage hoe down. *shudders*
The hoe down music begins to play and Rei Dei, Knives, Wolfwood, and Vash stand in a line.
Rei Dei: I sat down to dinner just the other day After sword slashing and related swordplay I walked over, and looked in the fridge And all I had was a freaking cabbage.
Knives: Whenever I see cabbage, I really have a fit I always get lighter fluid and pour that all over it When the veggie burns to ash, I laugh maniacally Because that's what I'll do with Vash's dead body.
Wolfwood: I saw a cabbage sitting in a bin I got my confessional, and it told me all its sins I helped him out until all his problems were at bay But the thing that really pissed me off is that it didn't pay.
Vash: I don't like cabbages, they're really, really gross It looks like the stuff that grows in between Meryl's toes I would never eat them, no ifs, ands, or buts. I just want a giant bag of steaming donuts.
Everybody: Of steaming donuts!!!!!!!
Meryl: YOU STUPID DONUT MUNCHING CREEP!
Vash: Until next time *gulp*, I'll be running from Meryl. GOOD NIGHT!
A very angry Meryl chases vash off the stage and out of the studio.
Knives: So, If I'm not mistaken, we were about to eat the priest, am I correct?
Wolfwood: Don't eat me! God will punish you if you do!!
Knives, Legato, and Rei Dei chase Wolfwood away and the curtain closes.