Once again, I was bored, and this is RANDOM. Also, REMEMBER half of the plot is taken from the episode, Chocolate With Nuts. Instead of Chocolate bars, it's Kanye West CD's. Enjoy!

PS: Squidward is a pimp in here.

SpongeBob is sitting in the mailbox waiting for an actor to come. He is talking to himself while doing this.

SB- Damn, when the fuck was MTV Cribs supposed to be on? It was on at 11:00 last night.

The mailman appears, opens the box, and SpongeBob pops out.

SB- ARE YOU ON MTV CRIBS???!!!!! (SB's been doing this for a while)

Mailman- OH, SHIT!! NO!!!!!!

Mailman runs away while SB climbs out of the mailbox.

SB- Ass...HOLE!!!!

Patrick arrives.

Patrick- Hey, SpongeBob, can I borrow your lawnmower? I need to lose my virginity.

SB- Yeah, whatever, let's see what I got. Bills, bills, bills, bills, bills, bills, bi--Oooohhh... I don't remember subscribing to "Fancy Living Digest"

SB opens the mag.

SB and Patrick- Wooooooooooowwww!

SB- Patrick, look at this pool. It's HUGE. It's as big as your mom's ass.

Patrick- Shut the fuck up, SpongeBob. Hey, look! I totally fucked your mom in those shoes.

Squidward quickly snatches the mag.

Squidward- What the fuck you think you're doin'? This is MY mail. You bitches get yo hands off of this, or I'll beat da shit out of you.

SB- Bitch, please. I got a PHD in Kickboxing, motherfucker.

Squidward- Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know they gave out PHD's in Retard School.

SB- Retard School? What the fuck...?

Squidward- Look, just don't touch my mail, or I'll stab you in the head. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go home and watch Soul Plane.

He walks away.

SB- You know, that Squidward is the biggest pain in my ass.

Patrick- I bet that's a tight fit.

SB- Now, let's see, what can I do to get money?

Patrick- Let's sell stuff.

SB- Wow! Patrick, for once in that homosexual body of yours, you got a good idea. I'm not gay, though. Blech!

Bubbles float up to next scene, as SB and Patrick come out of the Barg 'N-Mart, carrying lots of CD's.

SB- Oh, yeah. This is great. Selling Kanye West CD's. This'll be good. After we get the money, we'll be able to buy our own T.G.I. Friday's!

Patrick- Yes!

SB and Patrick come to the first house and knock on the door. The door opens with a fish wearing a shirt that says "Hi My Name Is Tom".

SB- Hello...Tom. Would you like to buy some Kanye West CD's? He believes in Jesus.

Tom- Jesus? Did you say Jesus? Christ?

Patrick- Yes sir! You want the CD with peanuts, or not?

Tom- Jesus? JESUS? JEEESUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSS!!!!!!!! JESUS CHRIST!!!!!

SB and Patrick back up and run as Tom chases them.

Tom- JESUUUUUUSSS!!!

Bubbles...(next scene) SB and Patrick are at the next door, ringing the doorbell.

SB- You see, Patrick, THAT is why you don't trust people over the age of 30.

Patrick- So, THAT'S why those kids are scared of me when I'm in an ice cream truck.

The door opens.

Fish- Hello. Can I help you?

SB- Hello, sir. Do you want to buy a Kanye West CD?

Fish- Sure I would!

SB- Great! Will that be cash or charge?

Fish- Hmmmm... Maybe something like toilet paper...

PPPHHHHT!!!!!!

Patrick- Ooops! I shit my pants.

Fish- Yeah, I don't take something from a guy who shits his pants. You should try... these SHIT BAGS!!!! You can put shit in it.

SB- Wow. How much is it?

Fish- Well, since you're desperate they're free!

SB- Sweet!

SB and Patrick take the bags, put the CD's in there, and head next door. They knock, and out pops the same fish.

Fish- Hello!

SB- What the--? Hey, aren't you the guy from that house back there?

Fish- Uuuhhhh...Well... I-- Hey, why don't you try these SHIT BAG HOLDERS?!

SB- Okay, how much?

Bubbles (next scene) SB and Patrick go to the next house.

SB- Okay, here's the REAL customer.

Woman fish- Well, what can I do for you boys.

SB- Hello, lady. Would you like to buy a Kanye West CD?

Woman fish- Well, that sounds lovely.

SB- Okay! One CD coming up!

SB gets the "shit bag holder", pulls out the "shit bag" and then out comes another bag. This happens over and over.

Woman fish- I don't have time for this.

Woman fish closes the door.

SB- Aaaaaaaaaaannnnnndddd... GOT IT!! One CD for the nice la...dy. Oh crap!

SB and Patrick make a run for it.

Tom- JESUS!!!! RUN AWAY!!!! JESUS!!!!!!!!