~*~start author's note~*~
::Moon&Z, the authors of this fic sit working on it while laughing::
Z: Heeheehee... But we really shouldn't let this one out to the public.
Moon: ::once she stops laughing:: Why not?
Z: It's demented!! It's disturbing!!
Moon: How many Marmalade Boy fanfics are like that?
Z: My point.
Moon: I am going to send it to everyone!!
Z: Ummm...
Z: ::sighs:: So you did decide to send it out..
Moon: Yeah!! Because it's FUNNY! And there needs to be more fanfic of Michael and Kei!
Z: Isn't that one weird one on fanfiction.net enough?
Moon: NO!
Z: Okay, just remember, everything is her fault!
Moon: You're the one that came up with the whole Suzu's Closet thing in Kodomo Boy!
Z: Oh, whatever. But you're publishing it under YOUR name. Anyway, here's the stupid 'fic. And if you like Kodocha 'fics be sure to check out our Kodocha 'fics... Which are kind of demented, but not nearly as disturbing. Ja ne!
~*~ end author's note~*~
~*~start fic~*~
*~*
Adventures in Suzu's Closet
by Servo-Z and ServoMoon
[Michael is in Suzu's room tutoring her in English.]
Michael: Get it now Suzu?
Suzu: Yes, of course!
Michael: Okay, but this is the twelfth time I've tried to explain it to you.
Suzu: Yes, of course!
Michael: Oookay...
Suzu: You're so cute Michael!
Michael: HEY, I'M YOUR TEACHER, LISTEN TO ME!
Suzu: Oh... Okay...
[The doorbell rings.]
Suzu: I'll get that!
[Suzu runs downstairs.]
Michael: What's with her today?
[Suzu comes back up, dragging Kei.]
Michael: AH! THAT GUY!
Kei: What do you want Suzu... AH! THAT GUY!
[Michael and Kei stand up and glare at each other.]
Michael: You...
Kei: You...
Suzu: This way...
[Suzu leads Michael and Kei near the closet. They don't notice.]
Michael: I hate you.
Kei: I'll kill you.
Michael: You let Miki go.
Kei: You stalked her.
Michael: You stalked me!
Kei: I was STALKING MIKI!! You just happened to always be near her.
Suzu: Okay, okay.
Michael: Stay out of this Suzu.
Kei: Yeah, this is man talk.
Suzu: Sure!
[Suzu shoves Michael and Kei into the closet and shuts the door. They sit in silence for a second on top of each other on the floor, then stand up and start screaming.]
Michael: What do you think you're doing, Suzu?!
Kei: LET ME OUT OF HERE!! NOW!!
Suzu: (outside the closet) Oh no Dad, Michael and Kei left already. Yep, let's leave for our big weekend trip!
Michael/Kei: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!
Suzu: (outside the closet) Of course I'm already packed. Yep, I'll get my luggage!
Kei: SUZU!! LET ME OUT!
Michael: NOT A GOOD JOKE!!
Suzu: (outside the closet) Listen Michael, Kei. Suzu likes to collect things she likes. Now she is collecting cute boys. You two are the first in my collection. I've left plenty of food. Sleep well and play nice!! See you in a week!
Michael: OUT!! NOW!!!
Kei: SUZU!! I'LL HAVE TO KILL YOU!!
Suzu: What cute cute boys... Bai bai!!
Michael/Kei: SUZU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Michael and Kei keep screaming for two hours until they realize that no one is there.]
Michael: This is bad. Being stuck in a psycho girl's closet with no one but this boring guy.
Kei: You think I'm happy being stuck with you?
Michael: Well, with all those looks you keep giving me...
Kei: MICHAEL!! I AM NOT GAY!!
Michael: Whatever.
Kei: What about you, you keep touching me and all that.
Michael: It's an American thing.
Kei: Yeah right. America is not a touchy feely country, I've been there.
Michael: Don't flatter yourself, then I guess it's just a New York thing..
Kei: ....
Michael: YOU THINK I LIKE YOU OR SOMETHING?!
Kei: Let's not talk about these kinds of things if we're going to be stuck in a closet together.
Michael: Okay. How about we talk about Miki?
Kei: Okay. I like Miki.
Michael: Me too.
Kei: Let's compete for her.
Michael: Sounds like fun.
Kei: But not against Yuu.
Michael: No. Not fun. Too much competition.
Kei: Yeah.
[There is a moment of silence.]
Michael: Can't you think of anything else to say?
Kei: Why don't you just shut up?
Michael: NO! CAN'T STAND SILENCE!!
Kei: Damnit...
Michael: How about Miki's family, huh? Kei... What are you doing?
Kei: Looking for a gag for you.
Michael: Kei, I never knew you were into things like that..
Kei: SHUT UP!!! IT'S ONLY TO SHUT YOU UP!
Michael: Please don't!! It'll be mean!!
Kei: Then shut up!! Let's figure a way out of here.
Michael: How?
Kei: THE DOOR!! Let's ram the door down!
Michael: Yeah! It's worth a shot!
Kei: At the same time now...
Michael: Okay!
[Kei and Michael run against the door, then fall back.]
Michael: Ow... It didn't work...
Kei: We have to do it multiple times, you fool!
Michael: You don't have to be mean about it...
[Kei and Michael keep ramming against the door. Suddenly Suzu opens it, looking angry.]
Michael: Yes! We're free! Huh? Suzu?
Kei: You little- WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?
Suzu: I told you, I'm collecting cute boys.
Kei: IDIOT! You can't do that to people.
Michael: Yeah!
Suzu: I can do whatever I want.
Kei: YOU-
Suzu: And now my cute boys are being BAD boys.
Kei: SHUT UP YOU-
Suzu: Get back into the closet, and no more banging around.
Kei: No way in hell!
Suzu: Or else I'll have to teach you a lesson.
Kei: Br-
Michael: Kei, stop, she's starting to look scary.
Kei: Shut up Michael! Now come on Suzu, BRING IT ON!
Suzu: If you say, Kei-kun.
[Suzu evily smiles and pulls out a whip and a cattle prod.]
Kei: What the-
Suzu: Kei-kun, Michael-sensei... It's time for you to LEARN A LESSON!
Michael: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Kei: What are you doing you little psy- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
[Kei gets shocked with the cattle prod.]
Michael: Kei! Stop it, Suzu!
Suzu: If you say..
[Suzu stops shocking Kei, then whips him and turns to Michael.]
Michael: Wha-what are you doing?
Suzu: Take this, Michael-sensei!
[Suzu shocks Michael with the cattle prod, and Michael screams.]
Suzu: HA HA HA HA! Michael, learn to be a good boy!
Kei: STOP!
[Suzu whips Kei again, then stops shocking Michael.]
Suzu: Are you ready to be good boys now?
[Michael and Kei nod, looking shocked.]
Suzu: Back into the closet...
[Kei and Michael walk back into the closet without protest.]
Suzu: Good boys.
[Kei and Michael sit back to back in the dark closet listening to Suzu's evil laughter. They are in silence for a while, then Kei speaks.]
Kei: This is bad.
Michael: (cries) Yes!! It's really bad!! What are we going to do?! We're love slaves to psycho Japanese schoolgirl!
Kei: Well, she hasn't asked us to do "that" yet.
Michael: Good. But still, how will we ever escape? I'm so scared!!
[Michael starts to cry loudly like a baby.]
Kei: Be quiet, she might hear you and get angry again!!
Michael: WAAAAA!! I'm s-sorry Kei, I can't stop crying! WAAA!!
[Kei sits down and puts Michael in his lap.]
Kei: Shhhh Michael, it's okay, it's okay, everything will be fine.
Michael: I hope so.. Thank you, Kei...
Kei: Don't worry, I'll protect you!
Michael: Kei...
[Kei and Michael fall asleep together.]
*~*
[Suzu walks in on Michael and Kei in the morning sleeping and gets angry.]
Suzu: You two!
[Michael and Kei stand up quickly.]
Suzu: Nothing that even LOOKS like yaoi in my closet!
Michael: But-
Kei: (elbows Michael) Of course Suzu.
[Michael frowns and Suzu smiles.]
Suzu: Now, you two will watch a video of me.
[Kei and Michael follow Suzu wordlessly to in front of her TV.]
Suzu: Here it is! Wait, first I'll tie you up.
Michael: What?!
Suzu: Michael, you need to be a GOOD boy.
Kei: He is, he is, sorry, his hearing is kind of bad.
Michael: Yeah...
Suzu: Okay... Now, what should I use?
[Something falls out of Michael's pocket, and Suzu picks it up.]
Suzu: What's this?! Michael, were you being bad?
Michael: It's just some duck tape. I was fixing something before I came here.
Suzu: Perfect!
Kei/Michael: Huh?
Suzu: Sit down!
[Kei and Michael quickly sit down at the chairs that Suzu pointed at. Suzu duck tapes them to the chairs and evily grins.]
Suzu: Now you'll watch me in a cool video!
Kei: Okay, whatever you say.
[Suzu puts on the video. It shows her running around happily with bright happy colored background, giving colorfull candy to everyone she sees, being nice, and having more flashing colorful backgrounds, then her running around being nice to more people with happy colors all around, then the end shows all of the prettiest boys kissing Suzu on the cheek or the hand as she smiles and blushes. Suzu stops the video and smiles.]
Suzu: So, what did you think?
Kei: What the hell was that?
[Suzu gives Kei a death glare.]
Michael: Oh, I know.
Suzu: (happily) Yeah?
Michael: Those are one of those videos you make while on drugs.
[Suzu looks VERY angry.]
Michael: Or was it the video in Japan that gave 700 kids seizures?
[Suzu gets angrier.]
Kei: Could be, I don't watch much TV or follow news, so I don't know.
Michael: Then it must be.
Suzu: THAT'S IT!! I'LL TEACH YOU TWO A LESSON YOU'LL NEVER EVER FORGET!!
[Suzu dresses up in a scary costume, then comes out wearing a whip and holding her cattle prod.]
Suzu: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Michael: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!! KEI!! I'M SCARED!!!
Kei: Michael, I'll protect you! Suzu!! Away from him!! NOW!!
[Kei tries to stand up while duck taped to the chair.]
Suzu: No, I'll teach you both, but if it makes you feel better, you can go first, Kei.
Michael: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
[Miki suddenly walks in.]
Miki: Excuse me... AHHHHH!! SUZU!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING??
Suzu: HAHAH- Uh oh...
Miki: This is very strange..
Michael: WAA!! Don't hurt Kei!! Or me!!
Miki: What do you mean?
Michael: Miki!! Get away while you still can!
Suzu: IDIOT!! I'm not into GIRLS.
Kei: Umm... You don't seem into boys either with how you treat us!
Michael: Yeah!
Suzu: That's it!! Michael, Kei, I'll teach you a lesson!
Miki: Teach Michael a lesson? Wasn't he tutoring you?
Michael: Miki!
Miki: Huh?
Michael: GET A CLUE!
Miki: Wha?
Kei: SUZU IS A PSYCHO BITCH THAT HAS BEEN KEEPING US IN HER CLOSET AND WANTS TO TORTURE US FOR PLEASURE NOT TO MENTION DO UNKNOWN THINGS TO US!
Miki: Oh no.. That's bad!
Michael/Kei: YES!
Miki: I'm calling the police!
Suzu: No! Please Miki, give me one more chance. I'll be good.
Miki: Well, okay. You sound sincere.
Suzu: Thanks Miki!
[Miki is about to walk out.]
Kei/Michael: WAIT!!! SAVE US!!
Miki: Oh yeah... I better help you free Michael and Kei..
Suzu: Oh, of course. (mumbles) Damnit...
[Miki and Suzu cut Kei and Michael free.]
Miki: Good luck with... stuff... Suzu!
Michael: FIND ANOTHER TUTOR!
Suzu: Okay!
*~*
[Michael is sitting next to Kei, who is playing the piano. Kei suddenly stops playing.]
Kei: All right Michael, you can go home now.
Michael: I'm scared. Scared of Suzu.
Kei: (sighs) Okay, I'll walk you home.
Michael: Could you spend the night?
Kei: Isn't you there? I can't stand Yuu.
Michael: I forget.
Kei: Me too.
Michael: Then, how about I spend the night here?
Kei: Okay, sure.
Michael: (smiles happily) Great!
Kei: We have an extra bed in the-
Michael: KEI!
Kei: Huh?
Michael: Get a clue already!
Kei: Wha?
[Michael jumps Kei and pins him on the floor, then kisses him.]
Kei: MICHAEL!!
Michael: Yes, Kei?
Kei: You did like me?
Michael: Well.......................... Yeah.
Kei: GOOD!
[Kei jumps Michael.]
*~*
[Suzu walks into her room smiling.]
Suzu: Thanks for tutoring me, Bill-sensei. I'm ready for my lesson now.
[Bill looks up from a book.]
Bill: Great. Let's begin.
[The doorbell rings.]
Suzu: Oh, do you mind if I get that? I'll be right back.
Bill: Of course not, I'll stay here.
[Suzu leaves, then comes back with Satoshi.]
Suzu: You know, even though you're my cousin, I still think you're cute.
Satoshi: That's great to know I'm so popular... Hahaha... What did you want, anyway?
Suzu: Just come in my room for a second.
Satoshi: All right.
[Suzu and Satoshi enter her room. Bill suddenly stands up.]
Bill: Oh... Hello..
Satoshi: Hello...
[Bill and Satoshi stare at each other as Suzu leads them next to her closet without them noticing.]
Satoshi: So, you are-
[Suzu pushes Bill and Satoshi in her closet and shuts the door.]
THE END
*~*
~*~end fic~*~
Z: ::laughing::
Moon: Okay, now we have to do part 2!
Z: Wha?! If you do part 2, you have to do it with no co-author!
Moon: Okay. ^_^
Z: Oh yeah, and review! ::walks away::