Title: Something New
Author: VanessatheMagnificent
Rating: G
Feedback: Would be nice.
Spoilers: Standard S11 things.
Warning: Femmeslash. If you don't like, then don't read. You have been warned.
Disclaimer: I own no part of E.R., and I certainly don't make any profit from this.Author's Note: A Nabby story that I wrote a while back in the community abbyneela over at It's a little on the short side but like everything I do, more will come in time :D. This is for the people who wanted me to continue with Normal.
You never know when something new will start. There's a new feeling of hope, of something special, and something different. It slams into you like a full-blown hurricane and forces you to see the light of truth, whether you want to or not.
But what happens when the truth collides with everything you've felt was right in your mind, your heart, and your soul?
Neela was sitting in the freezing cold near Abby's apartment, contemplating those burning questions over and over again. Closing her eyes, she let out a heavy sigh and any lingering concern about what the hell was going on in her head. Those unexpected feelings, those unwanted answers kept circling around her head, making it hard for her to concentrate on anything else.
Why, Neela wondered, was she out here emotionally rejected by Abby in the freezing night air by herself? She had already accepted Ray's generous and subtle offer to stay at his place, unnerving as it may seem, yet she wasn't about to abandon her forsaken post and was damned to leave her reality as is.
And there was the problem.
She was occupying the bench here, dreaming of hot coffee and Chinese take out, wearing nothing more than her parka, a tee shirt, and jeans. She was submitting to the harsh Chicago weather because she couldn't leave without talking to Abby. Neely imagined that if she marched up to Abby's apartment, honor and feelings be damned, and revealed to the older woman the actual reason for their conversation that happened when they were in the store a couple of days ago, there would be no turning back from that point.
Neela feared that her polished comfort zone would crumble away into nothingness. Her emotions and all those damn unwanted answers would come flowing out uncontrollably if she gave into the mounting pressure.
This, to Neela, was the most dangerous thing she could think of.
She wanted be open with Abby, the woman that she has grown to respect and adore, and to share with her everything that she was thinking of right now. Yet she knew that conversation would be out of the question, especially if the rumors about her and one of her students were to be believed.
Neela was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn't notice the steamy goodness of warm coffee heading in her direction by way of the bemused woman who was currently occupying her thoughts.
By that time Abby had come close enough to see that Neela was in a fit of worry- she was all alone, sitting out here on a cold park bench in the dark, ringing her hands and staring into space. Normally, the sight of Neela in this state would be amusing, even comical, but the look on the resident's face told Abby of the trouble her friend was going through. So instead she picked up one of the coffees she bought from its little brown tray and carefully held it in front of the woman's face.
Neela finally snapped out of her conscious daydreaming to notice Abby holding a cup of warm coffee, standing near a tree to the side of her. Realization set in and Neela reached eagerly for the cup, reveling its warmth against the cold air.
Brown and cool melted with pale and warm as Neela took the cup of coffee and held it near her lap. That brief moment of contact was enough to jolt her memory and force back the headache of thoughts that she had tried to push away. After taking a much-needed sip, she moved over a little to let Abby sit down. Comfortable silence surrounded the two as they drank the rest of their coffee, both obviously lost in their own world.
Abby was the first to break the silence when she asked Neela why she was sitting out here.
Neela thought carefully about her answer. "Well I was waiting for you to come home."
"Home? Neela I've been home, back out to the store, and now sitting here with you. So you're trying to tell me you've been sitting here freezing your ass off and all you can come up with was that you were waiting for me to come home? Please don't give me that."
Neela shrugged her shoulders. "It's the truth. I've been sitting out here like a fool, waiting for you."
"For what? Are you still upset about the whole apartment thing?" Abby sat her cup down.
"Cause you know I can-"
"No." Neela interrupted. "There's no need for you to do anything. I'm past the living arrangement situation and I've been lucky that Ray's letting me stay with him for a while." Abby gave Neela that 'I can't believe you' look.
"Well I hope you know what you're getting yourself into." Abby sneered. "Ray can be a… handful at times, especially when it involves a young, single, and attractive females." Abby's attention wandered to the bare park trees. If anything, she needed to break away from the younger woman's intense stare.
"Neela," Abby started slowly. "If that creep gives you any kind of trouble whatsoever, know that I'll be here for you."
Neela smiled. "I know."
"And…"
"And?" Neela perked up. Wasn't there a saying about getting one's hopes up to high? At this point Neela didn't care. Maybe this was her 'something' new she was looking for. At least she hoped so.
"And… I think I should be getting back home." Abby said while standing. She collected the tray and the empty cups of coffee and put them in her bag. 'Of course' Neela thought as she stood and watched Abby pick up the rest of her bags. 'Why did I think something had changed or that there was something more?'
"Wait." Neela said, clutching Abby's shoulder. Here she was again, so close yet not enough to satisfy the thoughts in her head. But for now she would have to settle for a look into her eyes and a smile that could turn her day inside out. After all, that's what she was use to, and Abby never let her down before.
Neela gathered up her thoughts, and more importantly her pride, and started down the rocky path in the direction of Ray's apartment and the nearest bar. Yet a thought made her turn around. She knew it wasn't any of her business who Abby wanted to keep company with but it was the one thing that Neela couldn't shake from her mind.
"That other coffee wasn't for me, was it?"
Abby gave her a small smile. "No, but you needed it more."
"Hmm. Thanks."
"You know…" Abby shouted. "You never told me why you were waiting out here for me."
Neela looked toward the ground, hoping the answer was etched in the path stones. Forced to face reality, she answered.
"I know. For the moment, let's leave that question unanswered."
Neela could feel it as she walked away from Abby; a new sensation had grabbed a hold of her and wouldn't let go. But like a dear friend once told her, "denial works" and it would have to suffice, for now…
End.