¿Por Qué la Pierna Izquierda?
A Teen Titans, Go! plotbunny
By
EvilFuzzy9
"Okay, Cyborg, seriously," said the ostensible leader of the Titans, Robin, Boy Wonder. "Why?"
Cyborg, looking up from what he was doing (a welding job on the Titans' Go-Bot), raised his protective visor, shut off the arcwelder, and turned to quirk his one remaining eyebrow at the commander of their merry little band of misfits and freaks.
"Why what?" he asked.
Robin scowled.
"You know what, Cyborg!" he snapped. "Why!? Why did you make me the left leg?"
Cyborg snorted.
"It's my robot," he replied. "So I'm the head. And if you've got a problem with that, man, well then you can just kiss my shiny, metal—"
"—As if, Cyborg!" Robin retorted. "I get that you want to be the head, fine! I can handle that. But why?" he asked. "Why couldn't you have at least made me an arm?"
Cyborg shrugged.
"Well, BB sorta might have begged me into letting him pilot the left arm, and of course Raven would be piloting the right one—"
"Of course?" repeated Robin skeptically. "What could POSSIBLY be of course about that?"
Cyborg's one human eye blinked, and his robotic one sorta flickered a little.
"Seriously, man?" he said. "You mean you haven't figured it out?"
Robin's frown deepened.
"Figured what out?"
Cyborg sighed.
"And you're supposed to be a detective...?" he muttered under his breath. Then he shook his head. "Honestly, man... think about it. You and BB are on the left. Starfire and Raven are on the right. BB and Rae are the arms. You and Star are the legs. Do I really have to spell this out for you?"
Robin scowled even more deeply.
"I'm still don't get it," he said.
Cyborg smacked a titanium palm against his cybernetic grill.
"Seriously, man?" he said. "Seriously?" He shook his head. "Look, we all know Raven's got the hots for BB, right?"
"Wait, what?!" exclaimed Robin, masked eyes widening in shock. "Why didn't anybody tell me about this?!"
Cyborg gaped at his leader.
"You gotta be kidding me..." he muttered. "It's obvious, dude! Why did you think Purple Raven was droolin' all over BB's bone, man?"
"Um, I sorta figured... she was just Raven's repressed promiscuity?" Robin said with a shrug. "I mean, she did set up that free kissing booth..."
Cyborg blinked.
"Whoa, what?" he said. "Why didn't anyone tell me about this? You mean I coulda been getting in on summa that action?!"
This time it was Robin's turn to quirk an eyebrow. He didn't even need to say anything.
"Hey, man," said Cy. "When you're half robot, you don't exactly get a whole lot of ladies goin' nuts for you."
He paused, then, a thoughtful expression on his face.
"...Well, okay..." he said sheepishly. "There was that one IT grad... but her tastes were a little too kinky for me. Y'know what I'm saying?"
Robin frowned.
"And Raven's wouldn't be?"
Cyborg shrugged.
"Girl's a romantic, at heart," he said. "Why do you think she almost married BB?"
Robin shrugged.
"I dunno," he said dismissively. "But, hey, did you ever get that glitch in the program worked out?"
Cyborg averted his human eye.
"Umm... I'd rather not talk about it," he said.
"What," said Robin with a smirk, "did you try it out for yourself?"
Cyborg sniffed a little.
"I'll never trust another scratching post as long as I live..." he whispered mournfully, a single tear sliding down his one non-mechanical cheek.
Robin might have rolled his eyes. It was hard to tell with that mask.
"Yeah, sure," he muttered. "Okay. But what's your point? About Raven having feelings for Beast Boy, I mean. What does that have to do with them both being arms?"
"Seriously, dog?" Cyborg deadpanned. "You haven't figured it out yet?" He shook his head, prior sadness quite quickly forgotten. "Look, for a fighting robot, all the parts have to work together. That much is OBVIOUS," he said, giving the masked vigilante a meaningful look.
Robin had the decency to look sheepish.
"Yeah, okay..." he conceded. "I get that much, but..."
"Look," said Cyborg. "When you're fighting, do you move one arm independently, without any consideration for where the other one is? Or one leg?"
"No," said Robin, frowning a bit. "Of course not. You have to move your arms as part of a whole. Even if they're doing different things, their movements should still be coordinated."
"Exactly!" declared Cyborg. "Which means BB and Rae have to work together and synchronize their movements. Y'know, communicate! Cooperate!"
Robin got a thoughtful look on his face.
"Are you saying...?"
"Yeah, man, I'm definitely saying what you think I'm saying!"
Robin frowned.
"So you're using the Titans Go-Bot as a... matchmaking scheme?" he said incredulously. "For Beast Boy and Raven?"
Cyborg smirked.
"Those two ain't the only ones, buddy," he said meaningfully.
Robin's masked eyes widened, and a light blush dusted his cheeks.
"I—I... gee, I dunno, Cyborg..." he mumbled. "I mean, we're good friends and all, but... I don't think I really like you in, you know, that way."
"Not me, you spiky-haired gel-for-brains!" snorted Cyborg, smacking his leader on the back of the head. "Starfire!" he explained: "Y'know, you and Starfire? As an item?"
Robin's eyes widened to perfect circles, and his blush went full on fluorescent.
"Oh," he said.
"Yeah," replied Cyborg. "'Oh'."
Robin smiled.
"You know what?" he said. "Maybe being the left leg isn't such a bad deal after all..."
Cyborg grinned, wrapping an arm around the considerably shorter, skinnier, and more organic Boy Wonder's shoulders.
"See? I knew you'd come to see things my way."
A/N: Well, I binged on the Teen Titans, Go! cartoon out of curiosity, and I've gotta say: it's actually pretty good.
...Provided, y'know, you're not the sort to take things too seriously. Because it does not have so much as an ounce of the tension or drama from the first animated series. Very little in the way of continuity, too, considering how at least one episode, off of the top of my head, ended with all of the characters dying.
...though, of course, superhero series do tend to suffer from something of a revolving door afterlife...
That said, though: please don't tell me I'm the only one to make this connection regarding the positions of the Titan's in the Go-Bot's body (and I am totally gonna be calling it that even if that term is kinda sorta copyrighted maybe technically). I mean, BB and Rae as the arms? Rob and Star as the legs? They've even got the guys on the left, and the girls on the right.
Also, this title is Spanish for Why the Left Leg?
...I dunno, I figured it would sound cooler in a foreign language.
TTFN and R&R!
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