A Guide To World Domination

By Loki Laufeyson

Hello, my name is Loki Laufeyson. I am here to help you achieve your goal of ruling all. Within this guide, you will find helpful tips and tricks to get you on the road to world domination. I will be instructing you on how to conquer the planet of your choice. Shall we begin?

Step 1:

Make yourself known as a threat.

If everyone knows you mean business, and that you're not afraid to take out a few people to get what you want, they should fear you and stay out of the way. Setting off bombs, and making a few threats is a good place to start.

Step 2:

Mind control.

You should take some of the enemy's men, and hypnotize them. You are then free to use them as you wish, using them to attack their fellow agents is always fun.

Step 3:

Cut yourself off from your family.

Remember, if you are seen with your family, people may think of you as weak. You do not want that. Deny everything about your family. Saying you hate them works wonders as well.

Step 4:

Start off small.

A museum in Germany is always a good place to begin. Knocking people in the face with a cane should get you out there. A little yelling should help as well, not too much though (you don't want to overdo it). Soon, you will have a group of about sixty people kneeling before you.

Step 5:

Take on some superheroes.

On the path to world domination, you may hit a few roadblocks. These roadblocks are known as superheroes. Everyone loves them, so you have to be extremely careful when dealing with them. Throw a few punches, and then surrender. I know, I know…It sounds strange, just trust me on this.

Step 6:

Breaking in.

Breaking into the superheroes' headquarters is a great way to go. As long as your minions have already planned on how to break you out, you should be okay. You can do some serious damage as well.

Step 7:

Escaping.

Escaping the enemy's headquarters after setting off some bombs is always great. It irritates them (seeing as you got away from them), and it makes them even more determined to end you (which is even cuter when you succeed).

Step 8:

Big city.

You are now ready to take on a big one. Call some of your minions, and summon your army (which by now should be stronger than ever, and ready to go). Sit back and relax as your army flies around, causing chaos.

Step 9:

More superheroes.

Your superhero friends should be back now, and angrier than ever. They might take down a few of your soldiers, but do not be shaken by this, there is still hope.

Step 10:

Surrender.

Surrender after a good fight. Only surrender after your entire army base has been destroyed.

Step 11:

Try again.

You may have failed this time, but when you come back….you will come back swinging.