Dimmer Love

"..all our days are marked with

unexpected

affronts - some

disastrous, others

less so

but the process is

wearing and

continuous.

attrition rules.

most give

way

leaving

empty spaces

where people should

be."

― Charles Bukowski, You Get So Alone at Times That it Just Makes Sense

"Bye Uncle Harry! See you next week!" Teddy declared as he hugged the man goodbye.

Smiling down at his godson with tired eyes, Harry ruffled the child's turquoise hair and told him, "That's right, you, me and Jamie will go out for ice cream then if the weather's still warm enough, alright?"

A wide grin splitting his face as his eyes turned to a bright, bright yellow, Teddy could have tackled his godfather with how excited he was. But, he didn't because he wasn't so little anymore. Grandmother had told him so, after Albus was born, when she let him hold the baby all by himself at St. Mungo's. "That sounds wicked, Uncle Harry!" he instead exclaimed as he stepped back into the fire place to let his uncle floo him home.

"See you then," his uncle said, as he grabbed a fistful of floo powder and threw it down with a shout of, "Andromeda Tonks's kitchen!"

Teddy came bumbling out of the hearth, wondering why his Grandmother wasn't at the table like usual with a pot of a tea and plate of sandwiches. Frowning, the metamorphmagus walked on and called, "Grandmother?"

There was no answer.

Moving out of the kitchen, he took himself to the parlor where Grandmother sometimes did her sewing and reading, then to the living room, where she kept his grandfather's television that she liked to use to watch muggle plays like Romeo and Juliet and Othello. When Teddy failed to find her there too, he feared that she'd forgotten he was coming home. That had happened once a year ago; it had really scared him then 'cause he was six and thought it meant she was dead like Mummy and Daddy and Grandfather. However, his grandmother came back and found him weeping. It was after that when they had a long, long talk with books and pictures about death and what it really was.

It was not disappearing like he thought; it was when your body didn't have a soul anymore and had to be taken care of, because it'd rot like an overripe banana. Death, Teddy knew now, was pretty gross and quite different from just being gone.

Frustrated and stomach rolling like it does when he gets sick, Teddy started to pace the halls of his grandmother's home. He was about to try flooing uncle Harry, 'cause he didn't like this when-

"Draco agreed," a voice that wasn't Grandmother's said from the front room, "It's going to be a secret between the three of us, just like all those years ago..."

There was a bit of silence, and Teddy was scared that somebody had broken in, but then Grandmother's grave voice murmured, "looks just like his father..."

"Grandmother?" the metamorphmagus whispered, a relieved feeling making his whole body tremble. Teddy had to restrain himself from running all the way to her like a rhino in a glass house. Instead, he purposefully strode to the front room like Grandmother had taught him to and poked his head into the room.

There was his grandmother and...someone else. She was a fair-haired woman with fine lines by her eyes and mouth, but still very pretty. In her arms was a blue bundle she occasionally jogged up and down like aunt Ginny did with Albus and once did with Jamie when he was younger.

"Grandmother?" he inquired as he stepped into the room.

The blond woman gasped and clutched the bundle to her so tightly that a tiny, pearl-white hand rose out of the blue.

Grandmother spun around and that tragic look of not being who she wanted was in her eyes again. He'd told Uncle Harry about that once. How Grandmother looked at him like she wanted him to be someone else.

His godfather said that she did that because he was like his mum. His grandmother missed his mum. Harry told him that aunt Ginny also looked at Uncle George that way, sometimes. The look faded and a sternness came to his grandmother's face. "Ted, come here please," she ordered.

Sending her and the woman with the baby a frown, he came forward until he was a just a step away from each of them. The metamorphmagus's grandmother snaked an arm around his shoulder and introduced him to the woman. "This is your Great-Aunt, Narcissa, and she's brought your cousin Scorpius by for a short visit."

His great-aunt still looked quite frightened and hugged his cousin so close to her that Teddy feared she might suffocate the little baby. "Andromeda..." she whispered.

"Ted's a good boy, if we tell him he can't speak a word to anyone about you visiting, he won't," Grandmother smiled at him in a way that wasn't very kind and squeezed him just a bit too hard, "Isn't that right, my love?"

"Yes, Grandmother," he answered dutifully.

Relaxing some, Great-Aunt Narcissa knelt down and showed him Scorpius. "This is your cousin, Scorpius," she imparted to him.

Staring at the pale, pointed face softened with wispy blond curls Teddy willed the baby to open his eyes. If only for a moment, he wanted to see into this small creature's soul and know something substantial about him. Beauty only told you so much, after all. It was the eyes that gave away what kind of beauty someone held. Did this baby only have outer beauty, or was he stunning through and through like Aunt Fleur?

As if by miracle of holy divination, the infant did so and revealed a set of eyes cut from stone. They weren't hard and glassy like that of the marble statues in the garden, but soft like the slate he practiced his maths on. Scorpius was a soft beauty, one that could have his prettiness worn away. Teddy feared for his cousin; with eyes like his, life was going to whittle him away to nothing. He knew he couldn't say this. Instead, he commented only on what there was before him.

"He's handsome," Teddy told this stranger aunt.

Taking him back, her eyes softened, and she agreed with her great-nephew, "That he is." And then, looking back at his grandmother, the blond said, "I must be going."

Grandmother's eyes welled with tears and she leaned forward and put a kiss to his great-aunt's cheek. "It was a pleasure to meet my great-nephew," she whispered.

Looking to him, the blond said, "And it has been the same for me," before she stepped away and disapparated to wherever she was to go.

"Will I be seeing Scorpius again, Grandmother?" Teddy asked.

Grandmother's fingers caressed his messy tufts of hair before answering. "No, my love, not like this," she replied.

"Okay," he said, concluding their talk of the family he would not get to know.

And If he sometimes thought of the cousin he did not see when he played with baby Albus, was he really to be blamed?

Darting around the crowds in the stadium, Teddy thought of his pouting friend, Victoire, back with her uncles and cousins. He wished she could have come with him. This wouldn't be so annoying then! But Uncle Bill wasn't very happy with his friend and him.

They had been giggling frequently, instead of watching the Quidditch game. If Ted were to guess, he'd say this was why Uncle Harry sent him alone. It was to give Uncle Bill some time to cool down and for Victoire to get into the game.

Swiping a hand over his brow, Teddy crinkled his nose. Sweat. Shouldn't how high they were in the air stop him from sweating so badly? Obviously not. Teddy bet it was because of all the people. Why couldn't they have held the Quidditch Cup in some place cooler? Like Germany or Belarus?

Being in the northern climates, the weather might very well have been frigid instead! But here...Ted looked for an ice popsicle stand. Uncle Harry had sent him off with enough money to buy all of his cousins and himself two - if not three - cherry pops or sherbet cups each.

Jostled to the side, the metamorphmagus yelped when he then tripped over something smaller and began to fall. He realized, with some embarrassment, that his hair was probably standing up a half-foot from his head as he'd toppled over and squished the smaller figure into the dirty ground.

Jumping up just as quick as he fell, he began to apologize, "Oh, Merlin! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-"

He stopped. On the ground, a little blond boy around Albus's age was staring up at him with slate eyes. They stared at one another in silence for a long moment; Ted calculating the chance of running into this specific lad as said lad just stared. Feeling quite awkward, he tried a smile on the boy. "Hi," Ted croaked.

"Um," the child replied, his mouth opened and brow furrowed.

Realizing just where the slate eyes were focused, Teddy gave a sheepish snort and turned his hair just as blond as the lad's and even had it become swept back like his too.

"That's my hair!" the little boy gasped. Standing up all on his own, the lad gave Teddy a curious once over. "How d'you do that without a wand?" he questioned.

Ted grinned and winked, "I'm a metamorphmagus!"

"Grandmother told me about those once. She said knew someone who could turn their face into a duckbill without a wand."

Heart giving a surge of feelings he didn't quite know what to do with, Ted maneuvered the lad - Scorpius, he's certain - into holding his hand as they take a couple steps away from where they fell down. "Yeah?" Teddy mumbled, "I bet you're grandmother's talking about my mum; she used to be able to do that."

"How does my grandmother know your mummy?" Scorpius asked as he sent the people around them an anxious glance. He was looking for someone, Ted discerned. His little cousin was lost and alone.

He had to fix that.

"Dunno," Ted answered truthfully. "Hey, you're lost, right?"

Scowling, Scorpius stuck his pointy chin out and proclaimed with quaking bravado, "No!"

"Did you come here with your dad?" Teddy inquired as he started to look for another blond, just like he and his cousin.

"Yes," Scorpius answered puzzled, "Why are you asking?"

Taking him toward the high-end suites of the stadium, Ted only gave the lad a quick smile. "Because I'm going to help you get back to him, duh!" he laughed.

This seemed to quiet the blond for a long time - almost all the way back to the well-to-do people's suites. As recognition came to the boy's eyes, Ted was relieved to know he guessed right and wouldn't have to take Scorpius back to his uncles and cousins. "My father will pay you back handsomely for helping me," his cousin told him.

Scorpius then took him up the steps and toward the compartment where a blond head was turned away from them.

"He doesn't have to, I'm just being a good samaritan," Teddy explained as he sent the boy a smile.

"No one's good," the little boy replied with grave slate eyes already chipped from life's edges. "Father says if anyone's doing good, it's for a reason and the only ones you can trust not to have a reason are family."

Leaning in close, Ted whispered, "I guess you're a smart lad, then, because I'm your cousin."

"I don't have a cousin," Scorpius denied.

Ruffling the little lad's hair, Teddy told him, "Just ask your grandmother sometime, alright? She'll tell you about me - and about that other metamorphmagus."

"Okay," the boy with slate-eyes agreed suspiciously.

Squeezing his hand, the teenager lead his cousin to the entrance of the Malfoy's compartment and crouched next to him, "Your father's in there, hurry along now."

"What's your name?" Scorpius demanded even as Teddy prodded him to go in.

Uncomfortable, he gave his cousin his most adult name, (like he wanted his cousin to think of him as someone much older, much more distinguished, someone better). "Edward," he finally answered.

"Thank you, Edward!" the child smiled before scampering off.

Watching him, Teddy wondered when he'd next see his cousin and how long he would have to wait for that day.

Oh so in love and feeling so very successful as he smooched his one-eighth Veela girlfriend, Ted didn't care one whit as people watched them walk hand in hand toward the Hogwarts Express. He knew they must look something odd, his hair dancing between a homely shade of brown and his preferred bright blue and Victoire, blond with the legs of a muggle super model and an air of poise that drew the attention of males from every corner of the station. Brushing close to her, his girlfriend smiled and Ted was happy.

He had the stunning, charming girlfriend. Not another bloke.

Stopping a quarter meter from one of the entrances on to the train, Ted took both of Victoire's hands and promised, "I'll write you every day."

"Oh Teddy," she giggled, "Don't waste your time on me! You got to be busy learning everything for your Potions Master degree."

"But I want to, Vic..." he murmured as he leaned in close to press a lingering kiss to her mouth.

Teddy would reflect later that they probably would have spent another ten minutes or so chatting and kissing before she had to get on the train lest she miss it, but as the fates would have it, that was not the future they had in store for Ted Lupin or Victoire Weasley.

A thin body fell into them, causing the two to separate and stare down on a blond head as its' owner exclaimed, "Oomph!"

"You alright there, mate?" Ted asked concerned as he offered a hand to the lad.

Slate eyes missing a whole sheet of protection lift upward and meet the older boy's. Ted felt his stomach give way as the boy grabbed his hand and used it as leverage to right himself on his feet.

"Sorry for interrupting you..." the boy apologized as he straightened out his robes and went back to his trunk just a step away.

Victoire, confused, disagreed with the other blond, "Non, my dear. It's not as if you meant to fall."

He gave them a rueful smile. "Maybe not, but someone meant for me to fall."

Ted licked his lips, feeling the need to give the boy a word of advice - or better yet, a shield to use against those out to hurt him. This lad was his cousin, and people were already pushing him around! Surely a boy from a family like Scorpius's would be better prepared against such brutality?

"Do I know you?" Scorpius inquired suddenly as he scrutinized Ted's faintly blue hair.

Throat dry, Ted whispered, "The Quidditch Cup. You were lost and I brought you back to your dad."

"Cousin!" the lad declared, a small smile brightening his face, "Grandmother told me. She said you were my cousin and that your mum was her niece!"

Ted smiled, but he could see from the corner of his eye Victoire was frowning. "That's right, lad," he replied as he lifted his arm for the lad to come close for a hug.

Scorpius hesitated, but a moment later, he was attached to Ted's side. He was squeezing all the life from him, just as Al did a few minutes earlier.

"Teddy, who's this child?" Victoire demanded, "Is he truly your cousin? Both your parents were only children..."

The Metamorphmagus didn't quite know what to tell his girlfriend, so he shrugged. He shifted Scorpius, so he wasn't so exposed to the frown Victoire was sending them. "He's my second cousin," Ted slowly answered, as the words came to him. "Our parents were cousins - on grandmother's side."

Victoire makes a face. "Your...grandmother," something a bit like shock came to her eyes then, "He's-"

"Yeah, this is Scorpius Malfoy," he nodded at his girlfriend as he finally let slate eyes peak out from behind his arm. "Say hi, Scorpius," he prodded playfully.

He gave Victoire a timid smile. "It's a pleasure, Miss," he whispered.

Grinning down at the boy, Ted questioned the blond, "You going off to Hogwarts, eh?"

"Yes I am," he agreed, "Father says I should be in Slytherin like the rest of the family," and his slate eyes seem to break apart right before Ted's gaze.

Bumping the lad's chin up, Teddy told his cousin, "I was in Gryffindor, and my mum was in Hufflepuff, and we're family, aren't we?"

Scorpius relaxed beneath his fingers and his eyes took on a hopeful sheen. "Then dad was mistaken?" he implored.

"Yeah, lad. Yeah, he was," Ted grinned, "Let the hat do its job, and you'll be exactly where you should be," he imparted.

Letting go of Teddy, his cousin almost seemed as carefree as James, the troublemaker. "Thanks, Edward!" With that, he slipped past and got on the train. Turning back in the doorway, Scorpius asked, "Will you write me? So I can let you know what house I'm in?"

"Sure, lad," Ted agreed, oddly proud, as the boy disappeared once and for all.

Staring at him with a mildly jealous quirk to her brows, Victoire demanded, "Just who are you saying goodbye to, mon chou, me or this cousin you've only met onc e before?"

Teddy shifted uneasily and took his girlfriend's hand, "Hey, now, I haven't seen him in a while and couldn't you see how scared he was? He needed me."

"What about me?" the girl grumbled, "You just let him butt in between us! You've never been like that with any of the other children!"

Throwing his hands up, the young man cried, "Why are you making such a big deal of this, Vic?"

"I don't like the way he was looking at you," she admitted with sudden candor.

Frowning, Ted echoed her words, "Looking...?"

"Forget it," Victoire declared viciously as she stepped into the train, "Look, you write me first, got it?"

Blinking in bemusement, Teddy nodded, "Sure! Okay! I'll owl you tonight!"

And without a final kiss, Victoire left without looking back. Later, despite what he promised, Ted ended up writing Scorpius first. But, as not to upset his girlfriend, he saved his cousin's letter for the morning and sent Victoire's that night.

Bumbling through Hogsmeade on his lunch break, Ted wondered if he should take a trip home and see how Victoire was doing. Being eight months pregnant had made her a bit clumsy, and Teddy hated to think of what could have happened between him leaving home this morning and now. Then again...she was quite sour right now. Not good company in the slightest! Her sister even agreed with Ted on that front. Ducking around a woman wearing a feathered hat, Teddy found himself running headlong into a long-limbed youth.

"Oof!" he yelped as the younger began careening backwards.

Grabbing one of the kid's skinny arms, Ted kept him from falling, and when he saw who it was, he couldn't help but laugh.

"Hello," the youth greeted.

Grinning back, Teddy asked, "What's up, lad?"

"I'm meeting up with friends for school shopping; it's my final year, you know," Scorpius told him.

Nudging him playfully, Ted grinned. "Oh, I know. That's all you've been writing me about for the last month!" he teased.

Blushing, Scorpius gazed up at him with slate grey eyes and asked quite suddenly, "Did you know what you wanted to do after school when you were sixteen?"

Ted stopped and took in the appearance of his young cousin. He was pale. Like he'd spent all his summer inside and the dark rims around his eyes might have made him fret if he didn't already know Scorpius was prone to bouts of insomnia. "Not especially," he answered, "But I knew liked potions, so, I ran with it. I'm pretty happy now."

Shifting to be side by side with him, Scorpius began to walk. Teddy took a half-jog step to catch up as his cousin slowly began to talk, "My father wants me to help him in running the Malfoy businesses."

"What about you? What do you want?" Ted asked as he studied the lad, taking in how he twitched at the inquiry.

Scorpius turned his head, meeting his older cousin's gaze as his slate eyes appeared to fracture while his shoulders slumped. "I want to write. Poems. Maybe a book or two."

"Go for it," Teddy told his cousin as he tugged the younger toward The Leaky Cauldron. "Screw your old man!" he declared as he took them to an open table.

"Father will have a conniption and disown me..." Scorpius whispered as Ted ordered two butterbeers.

Ted frowned. Yeah, the man would admit, the Malfoys seemed a bit cold; however, surely they loved their only heir enough to not do such a thing. "Hey," he whispered as he took the lad's hand.

Meeting his serious gaze, the lad dropped his stare to the tabletop.

"Hey," he repeated as he lifted the young man's chin. Staring into slate eyes, Ted murmured, "Even if they're crazy enough to do something like that - I'm still here for you. I love you, got it?"

And for a moment, Scorpius's eyes were flint instead of slate, sparking with a bright inferno.

"Really? You love me?" the teenager breathed with awe.

Teddy gave the boy a nod, "Sure do!"

"Wow, Edward, I love you too..." his cousin smiled. Leaning in then, his cousin did something completely unexpected and just a bit odd. Scorpius placed a brief kiss to his cheek before leaning back in his chair just as their butterbeers were being delivered.

Fingers coming to his cheek, Ted could only stare at Scorpius as the young man began to talk about the owl he planned to buy. What did a kiss mean to his cousin, he wondered briefly. And then, he pondered (guiltily), how did Ted get him to do it again?

What do you guys think? Anything predictions on what will happen next? What about Scorpius and Ted's relationship? Any thoughts?

The next half should be out sometime next week.

Thank you all so much for reading and please review!