Jack sighed. He had witnessed many, many stupid things in his life. He had seen his father throw away his entire medical career to feed his alcoholism. He had seen his wife, Sarah, leave him; a young, rich, hot doctor, for some ugly guy. But nothing he had seen even compared to this.
Before him was none other than John Locke. He had his pants down around his ankles, penis in hand, and was grunting and straining furiously in his latest attempt to fulfill his 'destiny'.
Jack shook his head. The only way to end this ridiculousness was to speak upon the situation and offer his medical expertise.
"You can't pee with your dick taped shut, Locke."
Locke spun around furiously and shouted, "Don't tell me what I can't do! The island . . . it told me to do this. There's a purpose, Jack, a reason! I HAVE to do this. It's my destiny!"
With that, Locke turned back around and started grunting even harder than before.
Jack sighed again, then turned back and headed for the beach. He was going to need to get his medical supply kit for the penile reattachment surgery he was going to have to do later.
The End.