AN: Written December 2011 with snicksness.

It's a Wonderful Life (Without Finn Hudson)

'Dude!' snarled Finn, slamming the locker door dramatically. 'Dude!'

'Finn? Are... are you okay?'

Finn turned, flustered, to see Rachel standing there. 'Uh, yeah.' He ran a hand through his hair. 'Just a bit stressed, is all.'

'Oh, Finn.' She placed a hand on his arm sympathetically. 'Did Puck steal your Twinkie stash again?'

'No,' he muttered. 'It's Blaine. It's always Blaine,' he said dramatically. 'Blaine does Katy Perry. Blaine sings Cats. Blaine's the goddamn lead in Funny Girl!'

'Finn,' she sighed. 'I am not getting into this again. You always focus on the most silly things.'

'Like when my Twinkie got stolen?' he snapped.

'Yes! Exactly like that. I skipped math and went and bought you a boxful so you'd be all right and you just spent the entire day saying they weren't the same, you wanted thatTwinkie.'

'It was a special Twinkie,' he said, rolling his eyes. 'My mom-'

'-Yes, yes. Your mom gave you it before she went missing. She was just getting her hair done! Anyway, Puck gave you your old Twinkie back, so what was even the problem?'

'Because it was stale by then.'

'Twinkies are always stale!' she cried. 'And what does a Twinkie from your mom even matter? Are youthatco-depedent?'

'Oh, so when I'm co-dependent, it's wrong! But when everyone's co-dependent on Blaine!'

'Nobody is! You can't have everyone co-dependent with one person. That's like saying everyone is his twin.'

'They may as well be!' Finn huffed.

'What does that mean?'

'Like Mr. Schue calling him up for advice on his car. Why didn't he call me? I work in a garage!'

'And that's what co-dependent twins do, huh?'

'Yes!' he said. 'Obviously.'

'Why are you always so down on Blaine?' she sighed.

'Why are you always so up on him? Do you still-'

Rachel threw up her hands and stormed past him.

'Where are you going?' he called after her.

'I can't deal with you right now. Just... grow up, Finn Hudson.'

'Yougrow up!' He frowned after her, hand digging into his pocket and curling around the remains of one of the Twinkie wrappers that she had given him. Okay, maybe she had done a nice thing for him. And now he had gone and got her all mad again. Great. This Christmas was off to a brilliant start.

'Damnit!' He punched the locker in frustration.

'What's the matter, Finn Hudson?'

Oh, fantastic. Rory.

'Nothing. Nothing,' he muttered, sucking on his knuckles. 'Just my crappy life, that's all.'

Rory looked up at him, lips pursed in thought. 'You can tell me.'

Maybe it would do him some good to offload. Even onto creepy stalkers with seizure-possessed eyebrows. 'It's just, like, Christmas last year totally sucked, you know.' He sighed heavily. 'I mean, Rachel and I weren't talking and I barely saw Kurt but this Christmas was going to be awesome but it's like- it's like I don't even exist, you know? Everyone is so wrapped up in themselves. Mom and Burt are all about politics of late, and Rachel and Kurt are too busy following Blaine round with mistletoe and all that crap.'

'Here,' said Rory. 'I know what'll make it better. I have special cookies with your name on them.'

'Neat!' Finn reached into the bag offered and drew a handful of cookies. 'They don't have my name on, though.'

'Finn,' said Rory, his expression serious. 'You were telling me about how sad you are.'

'Yeah, I am really sad.'

'Do you not wish you could change things?'

'I wish I were dead.'

'No,' said Rory, scandalised. 'No, you don't want that!'

'Uh, well.'

'Well, what?' he pressed.

'I just, like, I just wish...' Rory winced as Finn sprayed crumbs onto him. 'I just wish sometimes that I wasn't even born or something. Then maybe everyone could be happier without me draggingtheir stupid lives down.'

Rory nodded, his Irish eyes smiling. 'I know what you mean, Finn. Me mam used to say the same thing to me: "Rory, why don't you feck off and disappear?"'

'What did you do?' asked Finn, picking up a crumb from Rory's shoulder and shoving it in his mouth.

'Why, I disappeared. Abracadabra! Ended up in Lima.'

'Man, that sucks.'

'Oh, yes,' said Rory, nodding his head solemnly. 'So many things suck, Finn. Do you know what's hell for some people? Existence.'

'Yes!' said Finn, snapping his fingers. 'Existence is totally annoying!'

'Imagine a world, Finn Hudson, in which you didn't exist.'

Finn furrowed his brow. 'Uh, you can't really imagine a world in which you don't exist.'

'Sure you can.'

'No, I mean, you'd have to not exist but you have to think to exist and if you don't exist you can't think. I think.'

'Finn,' said Rory, taking hold of his hands. 'I like you.'

'Dude, really?' he sighed. 'I went through all this with Kurt and I'm a bit tired right now so please, I don't wanna talk about it.'

'I like you so much, I'm going to help you. Eat some more cookie there. Ah, go on. Go on. Go on, go on, go on.'

Finn didn't need any encouragement. He swallowed the cookie in go. He blinked, glancing around him slowly. Something was different. 'Did it get ten shades brighter in here?'

'For me, Finn Hudson, it just got a whole lot darker. And you'll find that out too, pal.'

'What?'

'I have to tell you something. You see, you wished-'

Finn watched Rory's hands as he gesticulated, realising with sinking disappointment that there were no more cookies. He decided he had moved on from a situation that did not promise any more deliciousness. 'Oh, listen. Thanks for listening and that. You're a...pal. But there's Sam. We're having lunch and uh...' Finn stopped, looking at him awkwardly. 'Bye, Rory.'

'Afraid not, Finn Hudson.' Rory shook his head sadly. 'You need a guide. You were never born.'

'Uh, I totally was.'

'No, Finn. I need to explain the ten shades lighter thing. You see, no one remembers you. Not even Sam Evans.'

Oh, come on. Finn huffed, thinking of all those breadsticks he wasn't eating because now he had to help Rory. Geez, some people were so selfish. Like he didn't have enough to contend with, now he had to sort Rory's mental breakdown? He was just so sick of givingall the time.

'Hey, Sam!' Finn bumped his fist into Sam's shoulder as he fell into step with him. 'Ready to go to lunch?'

'Unhand me, you lanky ruffian! Can't you see this is an Armani original?' He brushed off Finn's hand, wrinkling his nose in distaste. 'Are you collecting or something? I gave at the office.' He went to move past but Finn sidestepped into his path.

'Armani? Like, how? You were homeless only a few months ago!' He lowered his voice. 'Did you steal it? That's not really cool, you know.'

'Homeless? I think not! My family owns property all over the world!'

'Dude? Why are you British?'

Sam raised an eyebrow, as his cellphone rang out with the song from that Tom and Jerry cartoon. 'Are you casting aspersions on my family? We're not nouveau riche.'

'You're French?'

Sam glared at him as he answered his phone. 'Hello? Hey, Princess Diana! How are you?'

Finn watched Sam as he walked away, a tiny manservant brushing at his shoulders and bowing his head. 'Uh, that was weird.'

'Don't you get it yet, Finn?' Rory said at his elbow. 'You were never-'

'Oh, my God! What is he doing here?' Karofsky. And he was all up in Kurt's face. That total douche!

'Finn, wait-'

But Finn was already running towards the pair. 'Get the hell away from him, you creep!' Finn snarled, grabbing at Karofsky's elbow and getting ready to yell for a nearby teacher or something. 'Are you okay, Kurt?'

'What on Earth are you doing, you neanderthal?' Kurt stared up at with wide eyes. 'Get off of him!'

Finn frowned. What the hell? 'Dude, I totally got this. You're safe now.' He took a step towards him but Karofsky blocked him.

'Listen,' Karofsky growled, 'this is a zero tolerance school. If you got a problem with two guys kissing then walk away, loser.'

'I don't have a problem with it! I totally wore a dress that time, remember, Kurt? It's youthat has a problem with it Karofsky!' Finn faltered. 'Wait? Kissing?'

'Dave?' Kurt shook his head. 'Seriously? Well, I must say, he hides it well considering he's my boyfriend and all.'

Finn blinked in confusion, glancing back and forth. They actually looked wary of him. 'What the fuck? You two hate each other!'

'Are you high?' said Kurt, his eyebrow arched and chin raised. 'We've been dating since freshman year. Everyone knows that.'

'Er, no, you're dating Curly Sue. You two were macking like ten minutes ago.' Kurt stared at him blankly. 'Blaine? Your boyfriend? Blaine Anderson.'

'That gel guy off of the Mickey Mouse Club? Sure! And my ex is Andrew Garfield,' Karofsky laughed dryly, draping his arms across Kurt's shoulders. 'You've had your fun, buddy. Now why don't you just leave it alone now, yeah?'

Something was very wrong here. Seeing Karofsky looming over Kurt was bad enough, but there was something in Kurt's face. It was almost like-

No. Come on, that was stupid. Finn glanced up at Rory, who was watching the exchange sadly a few feet away. He gave a soft nod.

'Kurt,' Finn asked softly. 'Do-do you know who I am? Finn. Finn Hudson.'

Kurt looked at Karofsky, his face starting to shift from anger to concern. 'No, I'm sorry- But it's a big school! I guess.'

'You don't know me.' Finn closed his hands into tight fists and held them stiffly by his side. 'What about my mom? Carole?'

'Carole? No, it doesn't ring a bell.' Kurt played idly with Karofsky's fingers that were tapping against his shoulder impatiently. 'Maybe you should go see Nurse Schuester?' His face brightened. 'Oh! Wait! You're the Mayor'sson? That Carole Hudson? Oh! She was such an inspiration to me. I swear she's one of the main reasons I won that class presidential election!'

'That and you had an excellent campaign manager, baby,' Karofsky said, nuzzling his face in Kurt's neck and making the boy giggle.

'Mayor? You-you won?' Finn closed his eyes. This was too much to take. How had that stupid wish come true? It wasn't possible.

When he opened them again, Karofsky and Kurt were peering at him cautiously. Finn couldn't miss Karofsky's protective stance in front of Kurt. Karofskyof all people. He hadn't even known the guy was gay.

'Yeah, you head on down to that nurse.' Karofsky's hand clamped down on Finn's shoulder. Hard. 'We'll see you around.'

Finn didn't respond, merely watched them walk off hand in hand. Giggling and chatting as they went. Happy.

'Fifth grade,' said Rory, startling him. 'You made fun of him for getting pubes in the fifth grade. That's where it all started. The insecurity, the aggressiveness. The fear of acceptance. But you were never born in this world. And he found the support he needed. He's a different Dave Karofsky from the one you knew, Finn Hudson.'

'So, what you're saying is that I'm an asshole.'

'Ah, no. No.' Rory paused, considered. 'Maybe.'

Finn shook his head. 'I've got it! This is a prank! You got Karofsky and Kurt to play along! Look, who are you?

'I'm your guardian angel.'

'Oh, come on! What... are you a hypnotist?'

'No, of course not.'

'Well, then, why am I seeing all these strange things? God, maybe it was that funky gravy in the cafeteria yesterday.'

'Don't you understand, Finn? It's because you were not born.'

'Then if I wasn't born, who am I?

'You're nobody. You have no identity.'

'What do you mean, no identity? My name's Finn Hudson.'

'There is no Finn Hudson. You have no cards, no driver's licence and no Facebook account.' He shook his head as Finn sought in his pockets. 'That's not there, either.'

'What?'

'Rachel's Twinkie wrapper. You've been given a great gift, Finn. A chance to see what the world would be like without you. Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around, he leaves an awful hole.'

Finn stepped back, wrapping his arms tight around himself. 'So, like. That was a wish? Earlier.'

Rory nodded slowly, his lips quirking in disquieting excitement.

Finn covered his face with a groan. He couldn't believe he'd wasted a wish on this. He could totally have asked for Rachel to have bigger boobs. He jumped as a loud chime clanged above him, signalling the start of lunch period.

'Ah, do you know what means, Finn Hudson?' Rory smiled at him. 'Every time a bell rin-'

'Rory, stop telling me about quaint Irish bells and fields and all that old stuff from faraway and long ago! I've got modern-day problems here!' He brightened at the start of a familar face. 'Puck!'

A well-dressed Puck, with long, flowing locks, turned to Finn. 'Yes? Can I help you?' He winced as Finn tugged on his hair. 'What are you doing?'

'It's not a wig?'

'No, it's not!' he hissed. 'Why are you manhandling me like this?'

'You look so young! Like eighteen or something.'

'I am eighteen,' said Puck earnestly. He clutched a dog-eared copy of The Vampire Lestatto his chest.

'Dude, you're reading about gay vampires?'

Puck tutted. 'I see literature is beyond you.'

'Shyeah, and gay vampires.'

'Idiot,' sighed Puck, pushing past him and adjusting his velvet coat. He bowed low to Artie as he passed him.

Finn immediately brightened. 'Thank God you're still in a chair, man!'

'Excuseme?' Artie raised a brow. 'Who the hell be you?'

'Finn Hudson! Come on, man, you totally look up to me in glee! And my girlfriend Rachel Berry! We sing all the-'

'Rachel and you? Please, son. Talk sense.' Artie waved a hand at him. 'She's too busy shooting Transformers 4.'

'What?'

Artie scowled. 'Look, new kid: if you want to be popular at McKinley, lies are probably the way to go - but not ridiculous lies! Why don't you just tone it down a bit and say you're the secret son of Santa Claus instead of the boyfriend of a Hollywood star?'

'Artie,' said Finn slowly. 'You mean... Rachel got out of this hellhole without me?'

'No, she had help.'

'Oh, good.'

'From Robert Pattinson.'

'What!' snarled Finn. 'That gay vampire Scottish prick!' He turned to Rory. 'No offence, dude.'

'Yeah, so you need to get over your pathological hatred of film stars,' said Artie. 'It won't make you popular.'

'What will they do?' sneered Finn. 'Slushie me?'

'What's a slushie?' As Finn quickly explained, Artie covered his face in horror. 'Why would you do that?' he gasped.

Finn shrugged. 'I guess... because it's funny? Except when it happens to me.'

Artie pulled back from him. 'Are you unpopular? Because I've fought hard to be the coolest kid in school and I don't need-'

'Move out of the way, Space Needle!' said someone behind them, shoving Finn into the lockers. 'Hot girl coming through!'

Finn gasped angrily as Mike Chang sauntered past him, leading the way for a girl. She breezed past, throwing her long silky hair over her shoulders and shooting them both a wink as numerous drooling jocks followed.

'Is that-'

'Tina Cohen-Chang,' Artie sighed. 'The most popular girl in school.'

Finn glanced back at Rory. 'Okay, how the hell does that even work?' Rory merely shrugged, watching Artie follow after Tina, eyes glazed with adulation.

'You're a terrible guide!' snapped Finn. 'This place is confusing and everyone keeps saying I'm tall!'

'But you are that tall, Finn! You are!'

I need, I need-' he took off, Rory following in his wake.

'Hey, they're not out of snozzcumbers yet!' called Quinn from her locker, arms encircled around Jacob Ben Israel.

Finn had no time to gag at this. He sprinted towards the guidance counsellor's office, barrelling into the door. He slammed it shut before Rory could follow him in.

'Ms. Pillsbury! Ms. Pillsbury!' Finn came to a sudden stop on seeing her crumb covered desk. No. Not her, too.

'Oh, hello!' she said, licking at her finger and rubbing at a coaster mark that stained the desk. 'Can I help?'

'Dear God, no.' He backed up, turning the doorknob without looking around. He came face-to-face with Rory and felt the panic melt into white-hot anger as he stared at Rory's hapless little squashed face. 'You helped her, you bastard!'

'What's wrong with that-'

'It's like, it's like... how dare you! if I had a slushie, I'd totally throw it in your face. Instead, I'm going to... going to...' he flailed, then pounced on Rory, messing up his hair.

'Take that!' he snarled, stepping back.

Kurt sauntered past. 'Oh, that's a great look!' he said. 'Loving the hair.'

Rory smiled. 'Thanks!'

'Everything I do!' howled Finn. 'I keep helping people by being mad! This is not how my life is supposed to go!' He pushed past Rory and pelted back down the corridor. He winced as Mr. Schue and Coach Sylvester skipped by, hand in hand.

'Finn, come back!' yelled Rory.

'Screw you!' he roared. He came to a halt around the corner, panicked, as he surveyed the people around him. 'There has to be someone! Someone whose life that I touched, whose life that I-'

Oh, dear God. No.

Santana.

Without Finn she would never have accepted herself. She must still be locked in that closet! Alone and unhappy. Or worse.

Fear slammed into his chest, and he spun on his heel. What if she- no, no, he couldn't let himself think that. He had to find her, it wasn't too late to help her.

He grabbed Rory's hand as the other boy appeared around the corner. 'Come on! We have to find Santana!'

They tore around the corridors, Rory being dragged in Finn's bullish wake, as Finn called out for Santana repeatedly.

There! He spotted a flash of blonde hair and red cheerio skirt. Brittany! He ran faster, his heart beating wildly at his rib cage on seeing her speaking to another girl. 'Santana! Santana!'

The girl in question whirled around. 'Why are you shouting my name, Foghorn Leghorn?' She put her hand on her hip. 'Well?'

'You're alive! You're alive!' he gasped, clutching at her shoulders. 'Quick, we haven't much time!' He turned to the passing student body. 'She's gay! She's ga-'

'What the hell are you doing?' she seethed, slapping his hands from her shoulders. 'Are you insane?'

'Oh, God, pressure, pressure! Okay, I see your true colours shining through, I see your true colours, and that's why I love-' Finn gasped as she punched him hard in the arm.

'What- I'm trying to help! This is what I did in the other world.'

The girls stared back blankly. Rory fiddled with his collar.

'See, there's this other world where I was born and you all know me. And I totally outted you and then I sang-'

Santana held up a palm. 'Okay, Girl Interupted, You did what?' She cut him off as he attempted to answer. 'First of all, I'm out, and second of all, what kind of person does that? I don't care what world you're from, Paul Bunyan but you needs to return to it ASAP. Come on, Brits.'

'I was just trying to help!' he yelled to her retreating figure. 'And you still committed assault, for your information, so you were the worse person!'

Finn collapsed to his knees, raking his hands through his hair. 'I can't stand this! This is a horrible world! Nothing's right - change it back, Rory! Change it back! I want everything the way it was before!' he gasped, pounding the floor. He paused. 'Is- is this gold?'

'Why, yes,' said Rory. 'See, without you, the economy ma-'

'Stop talking!'

'But you said you didn't want to exist-'

'I say all kinds of dumb things,' said Finn. 'Why didn't you grant me my wish to be on the Saints team? Why didn't you listen when I wanted to fight the polar bear on Lost?'

'They were silly dreams, Finn,' said Rory comfortingly. 'You see, this one has a moral edge. And I couldn't work with the polar bear angle, I've got to say. You see, Finn Hudson- stop trying to bite my leg - you really did have a wonderful life.'

'Did?' gasped Finn. 'You mean I'm dead? I don't want to be dead!'

'You're not. You just have to work all over again to get what you had.'

'But I'm tired, for God's sake!' said Finn. 'It's Friday. I've gone through five days of getting up for school and now you tell me I have to start all over again? Rory! Rory! Help me, Rory! Get me back! Get me back, I don't care what happens to me! Let Blaine have every goddamn solo! Please! I wanna live again. By Grilled Cheesus, I want to live again. Please, Grilled Cheesus, let me live again...' he sobbed into Rory's pant leg.

'Finn.'

'Go away.'

'Finn,' said Rory gently. 'Finn, get up.'

'Why?' he whispered.

'Because the hockey team are coming down the hall with some slushies and you're so going to be a target if you keep crying and snuffling into my thigh.'

Slushies?

Finn straightened up, his cheeks burning when he realised that every kid in the corridor was staring at him. Everything looked murky and slightly dirty again. The floor - dear God, the floor! - was covered in grime and chewing gum. He kissed it tentatively, then stood up hastily as people burst into laughter around him.

He reached into his pocket and felt the comforting plastic wrapper of the Twinkie. He pulled it out, staring at it reverently, then dropped it to the floor.

'Put that in the trash!' snapped Coach Sylvester, pushing him into Rory.

'Yes!' he said exultantly. 'Yes!'

He gazed around at the people, at the lockers, at the grime. He patted Rory's head, picked up his rucksack and happily made his way to the exit. Ah, life was good. He took an affectionate look at Santana and Lauren, pulling at each other's hair, Santana raking her nails down Lauren's face before being thrown into an adjacent locker.

Beautiful.

Kurt, to his right, dabbed at his tears and then at Blaine, who stood frozen in shock as a slushie dripped down his face.

Ah, the sweet caresses of strawberry syrup.

Quinn, up ahead, rocking back and forth at her locker, while she glared at an aged, denim-clad Puck flirting with Ms. Corcoran.

Life, thought Finn. Life sure is beautiful.

He came to a halt as Rachel Berry, a flurry of flashing eyes, a grimace, her fists clenched to do battle, stormed up to him. 'A-and another thing, Finn Hudson,' she proclaimed, 'you really, really hurt me! You are so horrible sometimes, and so provocative, and so-'

He grinned, feeling the waves of Berry anger wash over him. He winked at a frowning Rory over Rachel's shoulder.

He really did have a wonderful life.

The End

Thank you for reading! Happy holidays!