A/N It's been a while.
Well, I really hope you're gonna like this one, I was inspired with that JFK spoiler and couldn't let the idea slip away. I know it's pathetic and probably like a lame soap opera, but I tried. Like my friend Jay said (thank you, a lot for reading this and helping me out with some things) that's what writing is all about. Inspiration. I was inspired so I gave it a shot. Also thanks a lot to Ena and Alice who read this fanfic before I posted it, their comments meant a lot.
If you don't want to be spoiled, do NOT read, you've been warned.
xoxo
oh and, reviews are love!
If she knew she was going to run off her own wedding she'd choose something much more comfortable to wear. This massive Vera Wang wedding gown is definitely not the smartest choice if you're running away, or just...running but who would ever make plans to do such thing in this outfit anyway?
Just yesterday runaway bride was not even an option. She saw it in many movies, and, frankly, it looked much better on screen and classier too. Yet here she is now, holding her breath. There are so many people here and she's focused on finding one person.
Her mind is able to process only one thing. She doesn't know if it's wrong, doesn't know if it's right but she doesn't care. She doesn't have time, does she? Blair Waldorf always had everything under control.
That is a lie.
Sure seemed like it, but deep down it all somehow kept crashing down, kept inhibiting her from paving a way to her future, to the life she always wanted.
Somehow the plans and decisions she initially made always ended up tossed aside like some higher power was trying to prove her that no one can control even Blair Waldorf.
Since she was 5 she knew she was going to go to Yale.
Yet she somehow ended up with Humphrey at NYU.
Then Columbia. Since she was 12 she planned to marry Nate Archibald.
Yet somehow she ended up with Chuck.
She planned to marry Louis.
Yet here she is, chasing Dan Humphrey.
This is not happening. This is not...
God this is happening and she doesn't even have time to regret it.
All she knows at this very moment is that she needs to make it on time.
~an hour ago:
She looks away for one last time, and sees people enjoying themselves, drinking champagne and sharing blissful smiles. Or pretending to enjoy this glamorous, posh event and fake-smiling as if they were obliged to. She knew them too well.
She knew this world too well, and royalty or not royalty, it didn't matter.
Louis was somewhere hovering round a group of guests slowly drinking his champagne, babbling about Monaco When Blair saw that post on Gossip Girl about Lonely Boy leaving for his "Lonely Ever After", as Gossip Girl called it, she felt her right hand immediately started trembling and her heart racing like it'll jump out of her chest.
Suddenly, she felt like this wasn't her wedding and all these people were there to celebrate something else. She tried to control her emotions feeling the heaviness of each tear running down her face, feeling dizzy, feeling helpless.
Her mouth has gone dry. He can't...he can't do this to her.
He said he'd be there for me.
But you didn't lose your everything. ...what if...
She looked down trying to whisk away the scary thought. She failed.
What if... he is my everything?
Serena just finished reading the blast and was now eyeing her across the room. She could feel Serena's eyes following her, and now when she's coming closer something cold in her voice gives her a shivery feeling. "Blair...please don't..."
"How could he do that, S? How could he..."
She's in tears, her makeup is ruined. It all gets worse when her dress gets black spots from mascara. She swallows kind of relieved seeing Serena visibly concerned.
"What are we going to do, Serena?" Serena doesn't say a word. She just looks down as if she knows something Blair doesn't.
"You mean...what are you going to do? This all depends of you." Serena asks trying to sound fond, but sounds more like she states, because there's no point in sugar coating it.
"What do you mean?" she is now confused. Her head was in a whirl even before this, but what was her point? "Blair...Dan and I talked before he left...and he..."
"He what?" she stopped crying now, focused on each word coming out of Serena's mouth.
"Dan is leaving because..." she exhales loudly, a puff of air leaving her nose in a sharp burst, "because he loves you, because he wants you happy even though it's breaking him inside. He told me to give you this..." she hands her a letter.
She grips the letter and immediately starts reading.
She expected a cheesy speech; he was a writer after all.
That's a lie.
What she expected was exactly what she saw doodled on the piece of paper.
" Dear Blair, I have many things to tell you, but I'll just use a quote from my favourite book instead.
Soulmate, it's like a best friend, but more. It's the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else. It's someone who makes you a better person. Actually, they don't make you a better person, you do that yourself because they inspire you. A soul mate is someone who you carry with you forever. It's the one person who knew you and accepted you and believed in you before anyone else did or when no one else would. And no matter what happens, you'll always love her. Nothing can ever change that. Make sense?
I hope you found yours."
He is her friend. She loves him and respects him. She treats him as such. As her friend and peer, not an underling. He knows her dreams. He knows her at her best. He saw her at her worst. He saw her crying, he saw her vulnerable, many times. He saw her happy, and excited, excited about small things, like her favourite moment in a movie and such. He truly knows her. He knows, respects and loves all sides of her, and he's always there.
She hates everything about him.
His Muppet hair, his smile that everyone finds so appealing. The fact he understood her so well when no one else did. The fact he cared when no one else cared. Hates how he's always there for a cup of tea or a movie. How with him everything's so ...simple yet so complicated. Hates his writing, his well-shaped body and that his book collection is bigger than hers.
"I hope you found yours."
She gulps. "I...got to go."
Serena shrugs. "Do what you have to do, just don't make a mistake, Blair! Take your time."
She scoffs at this ironically. Like she had the time. She rushes in the "Just married" car telling the driver to take her on the airport.
Her voice is shaky, what if she...what if she doesn't make it? How is she going to live with this? She needs to tell him. This is the moment when everything breaks down.
She hopes she made it on time. Her dress is ruined, and could tear up every minute dragging on the floor like this. Her make up all over her face, her messed up hair and ruby cheeks, because of sudden heath, pressure and tension in the air. There was that strange pull and a glimpse of hope that kept her going. She didn't mind it. She didn't mind people looking, they can say whatever they want and at this point, she knows this has to be done. She knows what she has to do and that's what she'll do.
Finally, she makes it.
Shattered in pieces, trying to put herself together when she sees Dan. He is still in the tux, ready to leave, an even now when she's ridiculously close she's running, running for her life, like he could disappear in a blink of an eye. And she can't let him slip away. She won't. When she's close enough her voice becomes progressively higher, after a few abortive attempts she clears her throat and finally yells :
"Dan! Wait!"
After saying that Blair felt quite giddy, as if she was drunk. He doesn't hear. He needs to hear. Needs to know. "Dan...Dan!" she calls his name desperately.
This time he turns, seeing her face leaving him in disbelief.
"What...Blair...what are you doing here?" he asks obviously taken aback by what's happening right here, in front of his eyes. "God is everything okay? What did Louis do...?"
"Listen to me, and listen to me carefully!" she says and inhales deeply. He nods.
"I...I can't let you go like that, you can't go...I know it's selfish, and I know how I keep saying it doesn't matter, because Serena gets everything in the end and it's not true. The truth is, sometimes I don't fight enough for what I want...and.."
"What do you want, Blair?" he asks curiously with a small grin on his face.
If it's Chuck, he'll deal with it. He knows. It is Chuck.
Seeing her all messy, mascara running haphazard maths down the contours of her face that now almost reminded him of Jenny's "raccoon eyes" and at the same time seeing her confused with so many emotions was bittersweet. Heartbreaking but kind of cute. Hard to explain, definitely.
What came next is what he didn't expect in his craziest dreams. What he wouldn't dare to write even in his book.
"You. I want you." she looks at him now, and it feels like they just met each other.
His heart skips a beat and he needs some air or he could pass out any second. He's going to need a cold shower after this.
A shower, he keeps repeating for himself expecting to wake up from this dream.
"I...don't know how I got here, but ...reading that letter, Dan, you said I hope I found it...Well I found my soul mate. And it's not Chuck, it's not Louis...it's you."
It's all toeing the line of pathetic, but she had to say it. They're just standing there in silence until she continues : "So you're not...gonna say anything?" she asks a little disappointed until she shots him a small, barely noticeable grin.
"There's nothing left to say..."
He moves closer, and it feels so damn right. So damn good.
Still under impression, she chokes a sob when he places her lips over hers.
This is what she wants, this is what she needs and this is what she was missing this whole time. Except this time she doesn't have to pretend. Doesn't have to act that she is making the biggest mistake of her life. Even if she was she'll never regret it knowing how good it feels at this moment.
He drops the suitcase on the floor ignoring the fact others are watching them. Knowing that this post will probably end up all over magazines and Gossip Girl but what anyone else is saying's in back of their minds. All that matters is Blair, taking his hand and giving him a broad smile. Finally, he whispers "I love you." and shuts her with another kiss, even deeper than the past one. After some time, she nods "I know." She chuckles loudly, so that people who now observing can hear. So they can see how happy she is. Blair smiles down and he looks at her like she's the most precious and valuable thing in the entire world. And to him she is.