"Lexx, what is that?"
"IT IS A PLANET STAN."
"Does it have people on it?"
"YES STAN."
"Tell Xev, Kai and Tia to come to the bridge."
"AS YOU COMMAND STAN."
"What Stan?"
"There's a planet Lexx found. Wanna check it out."
Kai looked at the planet. "Sure."
Xev walked over to him, "You guys go ahead, I'll stay here."
"Why?"
"I'm just tired, that's all."
"Are you ok?"
Tia came to her side, "For crying out loud, she's just tired. I'll stay behind too. I haven't been sleeping well either."
"Maybe we should all stay behind."
Tia sighed, "That would kind of defeat the purpose of trying to get some rest wouldn't it. No, you two go down there. You don't need us to hold your hands."
"I know that, but will you two be ok?"
"Oh I don't know, we couldn't powsibly fwend for ourselwes."
"The sarcasm is not needed."
"Just one more service I offer."
Stan got off the command center, "Come on Kai. Let's leave the women here if that's what they want."
"It is."
Stan and Kai left. As soon as they could be seen on their way Tia turned to Xev, "Ok I know you didn't want to worry Kai but what is wrong?"
"I don't know, I just haven't felt good lately."
"Lets have 790 check you out."
Part2
They were in the cryochamber while 790 preformed the scan. Tia was shivering, as Dark Panthers hate the cold.
"All night by the Xev, Xev. All night by the Xev I caressed. While my new- formed body pressed to hers, and my tongue went under her dress."
"That one was gross 790, and shouldn't you be scanning Xev?"
"I scan Xev constantly Panther Bitch. I am able to perform multiple tasks at once."
"Like doing useless annoying pathetic gross poetry and scanning."
"Why don't you…"
"Stop it 790, unless you want to be dead."
"She can not kill me love cups."
"I can remove your love slave programming. You wouldn't love Xev anymore."
"You're bluffing."
"Push me."
790 gasped and continued silently on his scans. The silence went on for a few moments before 790 screamed.
"AHHHHH, OUTRAGE MADNESS. I'LL KILL THAT DEAD MAN!"
"What's wrong?"
"THAT DIRTY GODDESS HANDLING DOG! I'LL BITE HIM TO DEATH!"
"You don't have teeth, now calm down and tell us what is wrong."
"I'LL CUT HIM INTO A MILLION PIECES AND INCINERATE HIM! I'll…"
Xev and Tia screamed in unison, "790! WHAT IS WRONG?"
"THAT FOUL GROWTH OF SOCIETY HAS… HE HAS…"
"What."
"MY PRINCESS IS PREGNANT!"
Xev and Tia both stared in stunned silence for a moment at 790. Not believing what they had heard. They both turned their heads to look at each other and when their eyes met they smiled and screamed. Xev practically jumped into Tia's outstretched arms for a massive hug. They were both crying when they finally let go of each other. Xev looked at 790.
"Is it normal 790?"
"It is a part of you and thus far it is perfect."
"I mean with the cluster lizard and everything."
"It is human with increased strength and agility."
Xev was suddenly solemn, "I don't know how to raise a child, I grew up in a box."
Tia looked confused, "Honey, I raised a rambunctious boy, I think I can help."
Xev smiled, "That's right, you did. I'm going to need your help."
"You have it."
"I have to get Kai up here."
Tia stopped Xev, "Wait, you have to tell him in the right way, this is going to be kind of a shock. We have to handle this gently."
"What should I do?"
"I have a plan."
"Kai, Stan, are you guys almost done down there?"
Stan picked the squaker out of his pocket, "We just got here."
"Well, we are bored, so get up here."
"Fine." He shut off the squaker, "I don't know why she even suggested we come down here if they were just going to call us right back."
"Do you think it may be your repeated attempts to get Tia to sleep with you?"
"So what, I did that to Xev all the time."
"Ah yes Stan, but Xev has nowhere near the temper of Tia. I would watch it if I were you. Pick your words carefully or Xev and I may be scrubbing you off the bridge floor."
Stan thought about that for a second, "Good point."
Part3
"Hi Tia, where's Xev?"
"In your bedroom. She wants to talk to you."
"Oh, ok."
Kai left in that direction leaving Stan and Tia alone.
"What was that all about."
Tia smiled, "Well, I suppose I can tell you. You know how you asked who Kai would have kids with…'
"Yeah?"
"And I said Xev…"
"Yeah?"
"Do you really not know where I'm going with this?"
Stan was only confused a moment more, "Really."
"Shhh… Xev's telling Kai."
"Wow, so fast."
"It's been a year since my trial Stan."
"That long?! Wow, that didn't seem like a year."
"I know."
"A little Kai. That's gonna be odd."
"Things are so odd around here that I doubt that will be the main attraction."
"Touché."
"Xev are you ok?"
Xev was dressed in Tia's gold dress from Penn's place. She was draped of the bed in a suggestive stance.
"I'll give you three guesses."
"Guess what?"
"As to why I've been feeling so rotten lately."
Kai thought for a second. He eyed her suspiciously, "Something tells me I will never guess."
"You're right."
"What then?"
"There is going to be a new crew member."
"One of Tia's friends?"
"No."
"Someone you know?"
"It will be."
"Do I know them?"
"Not yet."
"Well then wha…"
Kai had an expression on his face that told Xev he finally got it.
"Yes."
"You are?"
"Yes."
"When did you find this out?"
"About ten minutes ago. You're happy right?"
Kai finally smiled, "I've never been more happy."
He rushed over to her and lifted her half way off the bed. His kiss took her breath away. He lowered her back down, this time going with her.
"You would think with the amount they have been going at it this would have happened before now."
"Jealous Stan?"
"Damn right. You know, ever since you gave Kai his emotions back he's really become so much easier to be around. Xev too."
Stan noticed Tia was giving him a weird look, "I did what?"
"Gave him his emotions back."
Tia nodded and raised her eyebrows, "You know Stan, can you keep a secret?"
"Yeah."
"My gift has always been that I was able to heal bodies, not minds. I have never been able to give back emotions."
"Then how does Kai have them?"
"He had them all along, he just didn't know if he could express them. I gave him an opportunity, nothing more."
"He's been able to feel from the beginning?"
"Yeah, you didn't notice?"
"I guess all that 'the dead do not' stuff really got to me."
"He mainly didn't want to hurt Xev, and then when she died the first time, it hurt him so much that he shut out all his feelings."
"Wow, I never realized. I'm tired. I'm gonna go find somewhere to sleep for tonight."
"What's wrong with your moth?"
"I don't think I can stand another night listening to those two."
"Pleasant dreams Stan."
"Thanks."
Part4
Stan walked towards his moth bed and was surprised to see he was not the first one there.
Tia was there and was dressed differently. She appeared to be dressed in multi-colored scarves. The scarves were arraigned to look somewhat like her regular outfit. Her feet were bare.
"Hello Stanley."
"Hi Tia. What are you doing in my bed?"
"I've been thinking Stan. Maybe I could make an exception to my little rule."
"Really?"
Tia propped herself up onto her knees, "Really."
She moved her fingers over her breasts and sighed. She stood up and moved towards Stan and shoved him on the bed. He was allowed to sit up while she moved away. She tugged at her top and seductively removed one layer. The outfit slowly disappeared as she removed scarf after scarf. Stan's arousal was obvious. When the layers were done she was left with panties and a bra. She advanced on Stan. She gently pushed him over and pressed against him. Her lips met his. The buttons on his uniform became undone in an instant. She peeled off his clothing and then the remainder of hers.
"Please me Stan."
She held his hand and directed exactly what she wanted. Before long she was thrashing beneath Stanley. He poised above her for an instant before sliding inside. She screamed a primal feline roar and pulled him further. He continued his conquest. They reached the peak together, but their reactions were completely different.
"Oh Tia!"
Tia started to cry, "Oh Joseph!"
Stan awoke with a start, dripping with sweat. It took him a moment before he remembered he had fallen asleep in the galley.
"That was so realistic."
He got up and moved to the bridge, where he found Tia sleeping on the command console. She too was dreaming. Stan brushed aside her indigo tresses with the back of his hand.
"Sweet dreams Tia. You deserve them."
"Hey, another planet! Maybe we can all go down this time."
Xev smiled, "Sounds good to me."
"Lets go."
Part5
"You think you're going to make a good dad Kai?"
"I hope so Stan, but I guess no one ever really knows until it's too late."
"Yeah. Do you think Tia's getting better?"
Kai thought for a moment, "I think that she no longer wants to die. That could be considered better, but she will never completely heal."
"Why not?"
"She was ripped apart in a matter of a few days Stan. She'll never be able to fully trust anyone again."
"I still can't believe a father could do that to his daughter."
"People are capable of great cruelties Stan."
Just then Tia and Xev came running around the corner of a building followed by a small, black, fuzzy, rolling ball. They were both laughing. When they reached Kai and Stan, Xev launched herself into Kai's arms.
Stan was nervous, "What is that?"
Tia was the first to catch her breath and grabbed the ball of fur now cuddling at her feet. "It's a baby Dark Panther Stan. This guy is selling all sorts of odd creatures and I bought this."
"With what?"
"Food from Lexx. He tasted it and loved it."
"Who could love that stuff?"
"I don't know but he did."
Xev said, "She is so adorable Stan. She makes all sorts of odd noises."
"I expected something that looked like a cat, not a fuzz ball."
The fuzz ball growled. Tia laughed, "She's only a baby Stan. She will look like a cat when she grows into her long hair."
"What are you going to call it?"
"I hadn't thought of that. What do you think I should call her?"
"How about Fuzzball?"
"Sounds good."
Kai stepped forward to pet Fuzzball, "They don't happen to have a baby cluster lizard do they?"
Xev smiled, "We could check."
"Let's do that."
Stan was even more worried now, "Wait. I am not going to have two dangerous predators on board!"
Tia defended her new baby, "She won't be dangerous Stan. Dark Panthers are loyal to a fault. Just make friends and you will be fine."
"Fine, but what will we feed her?"
"She can eat anything, they don't have to eat meat. She can eat the Lexx paste like us."
"All right, but a cluster lizard! That's a little beyond our control."
"I just want to look Stan. They probably don't have one anyway."
Part 6
"Well, a baby no…"
"See Stan."
"But I do have an egg."
"What?"
"An egg. I can't give any guarantees on that one, but you're welcome to it."
Kai looked at his companions, "What do you think?"
Xev immediately agreed. Tia said, "If it's what you want Kai, then it's fine with me."
Stan stepped forward, "NO, absolutely not."
Tia looked at him, "You are outvoted Stan."
They worked out a deal with the man and were presented with the egg.
Kai examined it, "It should hatch in the next day or so."
"Whatever, can we go back to the Lexx now, before you guys find something even more dangerous to buy."
"Sounds good to me, but I want to come back. This is a nice planet."
"HEY GUYS, THE EGG'S MOVING! GET IN HERE."
They all came to the bridge where Stan was yelling. Fuzzball was not far behind. Tia picked her up and held her while they all gathered around.
They named the baby cluster lizard Squish Jr. It had bonded closest to Kai, but seemed to like Xev, Stan, and Tia. They had kept Squish and Fuzzball separate, but had finally decided to go down to the planet. Before putting them both in the moth they had to meet. Tia and Kai released their pets at the same time. Fuzzball and Squish rolled over to each other and sniffed each other for a moment. Squish let out a scream that was immediately silenced as a little paw came swiftly out of the ball of fur and got Squish across the mouth. He whimpered and returned to his mother. The fight was over. Fuzzball was the top pet on the Lexx, and that was never again questioned.
The planet was continuing to be a nice distraction. Stan was no longer whining about the new pets because he was now in charge of Fuzzball for the day. She was curled around his neck, asleep and purring. Her paws were massaging his neck. He was getting more and more relaxed by the moment. Tia had bought a leash and collar for her, along with bigger ones for when she gets older. Xev had picked out fabrics when Tia said she had learned how to sew perfectly when she was little. Xev would need new clothes in the coming months. Squish was constantly at Kai's side. He rolled along with Kai at the perfect speed, with a look every once in a while to see that his friend, Fuzzball, was still ok. People passing in the street made sure to stay clear of the odd group.
"So what should we do now."
Stan spoke through a layer of hair, "We've done all there is to do here. I say we leave before our luck runs out and someone tries to eat us or something."
"Actually, I'm not against going either. It's kind of boring here."
Xev said, "Sounds good to me."
Kai shrugged, "The dead do not care."
All three looked at him with a disgusted look on their faces. Kai grinned and they all continued back to the packed moths.
Part7
Xev was on the floor of the bridge playing with Fuzzball. The three months since they got them had gone by uneventfully. Xev was just starting to show and her morning sickness had stopped. Fuzzball was now slowly taking shape. Instead of a ball of hair, she looked like a ball with huge feet and a small snout sticking out of it. Squish was not growing by leaps and bounds, but he had gained a little weight. Fuzzball had started rolling like a cluster lizard. Tia had scolded her several times because she was not supposed to do that and she could hurt herself. Fuzzball had politely ignored her suggestions.
Xev's playing was interrupted by a giggle from a familiar source.
"Lyekka?"
"Hi."
"You're not hungry are you?"
"No, I want to see Stanley."
"He's in his room I think."
Squish then rolled in and screamed at Lyekka. Fuzzball then got upset as well.
"Kai, Tia, GET IN HERE!"
Kai and Tia ran in and saw the situation. Tia calmed Fuzzball while Kai picked up Squish.
Kai turned to Lyekka, "Hello Lyekka, these are Fuzzball and Squish."
Tia looked at her, "Please don't eat them."
"I won't. Is Stanley in the moth?"
"Yeah I think so."
"Thanks."
She took off down the hall with a playful lope.
Xev sighed, "Major crisis averted."
Tia put Fuzzball down, "You're telling me. Come on Fuzz, let's get something to eat. Coming Squish?"
Squish squealed and Kai let him down. He went ahead of Tia and Fuzzball chased him down the corridor.
Kai gave Xev a hand in getting up, "What did Lyekka want?"
"She wanted to see Stanley. She is so attached to him."
"What, like I am to you."
"Worse." She grinned. "Let's get something to eat."
"I still don't eat Xev."
"Then you can entertain me while I eat."
She grabbed his hand and pulled him down the hall.
Part 8
Xev's dreams were getting less and less erotic. She figured it was because of the voracious and beautiful sex she was now getting from Kai. He wanted to try some of his memories every night. It was never the same, but he always made sure she was satisfied. Xev never even felt her raging libido anymore. He was deliberate and meticulous in every motion of his newly awakened body. She enjoyed the sex immensely; however, it was not what she enjoyed most. She was finally loved. They held hands, they kissed hello and goodbye, and he murmured sweet words of love. It was something she had been waiting for her entire life. He lay beside her every night, sleeping a dreamless sleep. He needed to sleep, not dream. He loved her and she loved him.
She snuggled closer to him before she realized he was awake.
"Good morning."
"Morning, Kai."
"How did you sleep?"
"Fine."
"Great, what do you want to do now?"
"You know what I want to do."
Kai smiled and kissed her passionately.
"Hi 790."
"YOU USELESS SLIMY DEAD BASTARD!"
"What?"
"I WILL INCINERATE YOUR DEGENERATED CORPSE! YOU TOUCHED MY BELOVED!"
"Of course I did 790. I love her."
"YOU CAN NEVER POSSIBLY LOVE HER LIKE I DO!"
"She's happy 790, isn't that what is important?"
790 paused for a minute, "She can't be happy without me."
"She is 790. She's happy. Isn't that what you want?"
"Yes."
"Then you have accomplished your goal."
Kai left the bridge. 790 wouldn't let him have the last word, "I'll always love her dead man. IF YOU HURT HER IN ANY WAY I WILL MAKE YOU SUFFER!"
"You have my word I will not harm her."
"Good."
Part 9
Stan and Lyekka were lying on Stan's bed after making love.
"I like you Stanley."
"I like you too Lyekka."
"Do I make you happy?"
"Very happy."
"That's good. I want to make you happy."
"Lyekka, why do you want to make me happy?"
"Because I like you."
"Yeah but why? You're a plant. Why do you like me?"
"I don't know. I just do. You make me happy."
"Really?'
"Yes Stanley."
"You make me happy too Lyekka."
"That's good."
Lyekka seemed to fall asleep in Stan's arms.
"What should I expect next Tia?"
"Well, I can only tell you what happened to me. It may be different for you. You are part cluster lizard."
"That's fine I just want something to go on."
"Next I started filling out more around the middle. I also started to get really odd cravings."
"Like what?"
"Different things, like, fries and toast, tomatoes and steak, weird combinations. Things like that. Also the maternal instincts were really strong about this time. Joseph used to laugh at some of the stuff I would say. I actually said, 'don't run with those scissors.' It was humiliating."
"Who did you say that too?"
"Joseph."
"He was your guard, I don't think scissors was his biggest threat."
"I know, but I couldn't help it. It was like something in my brain just went nuts."
"I hope I don't end up telling Kai not to run with scissors."
"You don't have to worry. We don't have scissors on board. I had to cut the fabric with my claws. They turned out nice though."
"I really liked the one Fuzz ate."
"Me too, but that's what I get for leaving it out. Stupid cat."
Xev snickered, "I guess."
Fuzz looked up from her place in Tia's lap to give her a stricken look.
"I'm just kidding."
Fuzz put her head back down, satisfied.
"Who would have thought that a cluster lizard and a dark panther could be the best of friends?"
"Who would have ever thought a dead man and a love slave could fall in love?"
"You got me there."
Tia laughed.
Xev asked, "What do you think is going to happen with Lyekka and Stan?"
"I really don't know. They make each other happy. I suppose that's what's most important."
Xev nodded.
"STAN, STAN, STAN, STAN, STAN…"
"Yeah Lexx."
"I FOUND ANOTHER PLANET STAN, AND I AM VERY HUNGRY."
"Is there a place where you can eat without harming any people?"
"I WILL SEE……YES STAN."
"Ok Lexx, go ahead and eat there."
"THANK YOU STAN."
They shook slightly as Lexx landed.
The others came to the bridge.
"Lexx found a planet and he's eating, want to check it out?"
They all headed for the moth bay.
Part10
Kai and Stan landed the moths about a half-mile away from the city at Tia's suggestion, to make sure they could get away if needed. They all started walking towards the rather large and peaceful city they had seen. They came upon a woman walking away from the city. When she looked up her expression was one of intense joy. She then flung herself on the ground to bow.
"Your highness. Is it really you?"
Kai pushed Xev and Tia behind him.
"Why?"
"We thought you dead Empress. We have searched for you but found no sign. You have returned to us."
Tia stepped out from behind Kai, "Are you a Miranian?"
"I was my Lady, now we call this new home Kesea, after your son."
"Are you the rebels?"
"We are my lady."
"I was put on trial by…"
"…the Loyalists my Lady. They were the ones who stayed loyal to your father. You saved us from his evil."
Tia went over to her, "Rise, please."
The woman embraced her. "Thank you for returning."
"To be honest, I didn't know this was even here."
"It doesn't matter. The villagers must see you and meet your friends."
Tia turned to them, "Is that ok with you?"
Stan, Kai and Xev nodded. 790 remained silent staring at Xev and Lyekka didn't move one way or another. Fuzz and Squish were obediently following behind.
The woman led them to the village.
The crew sat, surrounded by the villagers, who had come to see their heroin the flesh. They were all asked questions.
"What is your ship like?"
Stan replied, "It's a big bug. Its name is Lexx."
"Why did you pick this planet?"
Stan replied, "Lexx was hungry."
"Are you really dead?"
Kai replied, "Sort of, not really that much anymore."
"You are having a child?"
Xev replied, "Yes, Kai's child."
It was Tia's turn to ask a question, "Who leads you?"
"An elected leader who is advised by members of the community."
Another added, "We are aloud to vote every year, but we have had only one leader since we came here 800 years ago."
Yet another added, "You know him My Lady."
Tia asked, "Who?"
"Your husband."
Tia was frozen in place, but the crew could tell she was about to burst
In a quiet voice she said, "What?"
"Your husband."
Tia roared and stood straight up, "I was told he was dead!"
"He escaped Empress."
Her voice got very noticeably deeper, "I will kill him."
She stormed out of the house, followed by her friends and confused villagers. Kai tried to stop her.
"Tia think about this."
"Think about what?"
"About what you are going to do."
"I have thought about it Kai. I'm going to torture him for three weeks before hanging him with his intestines. Then I'm going to cut his body into miniscule pieces and set fire to them. IS THAT ENOUGH THOUGHT!?"
"Tia, He has obviously done some good for these people. Look at that."
Tia turned to him. Her eyes were almost completely silver. "You son of a bitch. You are defending a man who murdered an innocent ten-year-old boy and his father so he could get me to sleep with him. What is wrong with you!?"
"I'm not defending him…" Tia continued on towards the center of town, "…but you have not considered the consequences of your actions. This could be devastating for these people."
"They will overcome. They are strong and don't need a murderer leading them."
"Are you forgetting you are considered a murderer to a certain group of people."
Tia stopped to face him again, "I do not plan nor want to lead these people anywhere."
"So you are going to leave them without a leader? Doesn't that sound familiar?"
Tia slapped him across the face and continued on.
There were no guards at the house in the center of town. Tia busted the doors in, followed by a now silent Lexx crew.
The only sounds inside were from a meeting room. Tia advanced on it and kicked the door down. She stopped immediately when she saw the figure in the middle of the room. He also saw her.
Xev's immediate thought was that he didn't look at all like Tia's description of the Duke. He was devastatingly handsome with an amazing smile. He had short brown hair with deep brown eyes. His body was not at all overweight. He had the body of a runner, or a soldier. She then saw Tia's expression and realized who that was.
"Kai… is it…"
"I believe so."
"But they weren't married."
Tia fell to her knees. A lone tear fell down her face. He looked stunned. He finally choked out a word, "Tia?"
Tia gasped when he spoke. She still was silent. Fuzz went over to Tia and nuzzled her, not understanding. That broke Tia out of her daze and she started crying hard.
The man rushed over to her, leaping across a table, and pulled her into his arms. They were both crying now. Many of the villagers were crying, along with Xev.
Stan was the only one confused, "Ok, who is that?"
Tia answered, "Is it really you Joseph?"
"It is my darling."
"You're dead."
"No, that idiot of a father of yours sent two of my former soldiers to kill me. We faked my death. I searched for you, but when I heard you came home and killed your father, I was told you were killed also, that you had committed suicide. I missed you so much."
"You lead the rebellion didn't you?"
"Yes, I couldn't stand it anymore. After yours and Kesey's deaths, I had nothing to lose."
"How, I mean, how…"
"Nothing matters anymore, as long as you are here. Never leave me again. Promise me."
"I promise."
He broke the embrace slightly so he could stand up and lift Tia up.
"I like your hair like that."
"I don't, but I don't have a choice."
"Now that you are here we can fix that. We can't remove the dark panther, but we can do whatever you want with your hair."
"Thank you."
"Now, who are these whom I should thank for bringing you back to me?"
"This is Xev, Kai, Lyekka, Stan, 790, Fuzz, and Squish."
Kai asked, "Why did the villagers call you her husband?"
"It shorter that the father of her child." Joseph flashed an amazing smile that further melted Tia. It always had. "Besides, I should have been. I, if you haven't caught on, am Joseph." He kissed Tia with obvious passion.
Part11
The introductions and explanations had taken a long time to do. When they had done that, they all took a trip to the Lexx. Joseph was impressed by it, but insisted that they stay with him and Tia tonight, if not longer. They had all had a wonderful dinner and Joseph or Joe, as he said that they could call him, had shown them to their rooms. They had two spacious bedrooms connected by a huge living area. The four of them were in the living area talking. Tia and Joe had gone off to be alone.
"I guess Tia will be staying here then."
Kai answered, "Yes Stan."
"It seems like a nice place."
Xev spoke up, "It is, in fact, we have been looking for a home. Maybe this should be it. Think about it, Lexx has plenty to eat for the rest of his life, there are plenty of homes her if we want one, we know the leader is a very decent guy. This is exactly what we have been looking for."
"It does sound nice. What do you think Kai?"
"It would be better to raise a child on a planet rather than a ship."
"And Lyekka could live with you Stan."
"I would like that Stanley."
"What would we do with 790."
"He would have to stay with me. No one else would be able to stand him."
"Or we could reprogram him so that he loves something that can love him back, maybe another nice robot or something. That one lady said that the nurses are robots. What about one of those?"
They all considered it. Xev spoke. "Great idea Stan."
"Then it's settled, we are staying."
They all smiled. Xev reached over and hugged Kai and he gave her a quick kiss.
"Who gets to tell Tia?"
"You're staying too. That's great."
Tia hugged Xev mercilessly before realizing she was almost suffocating her.
"Sorry."
"No problem."
"Where are you guys gonna live? You have to live by me and Joe."
"Kai and I found a nice place just across the road from you and Lyekka and Stan will be a little further down on a farm."
"A farm? Stan the farmer?"
"NO, stuff for Lyekka to eat."
"Oh, that makes a lot more sense."
"Where's Joe?"
"He went with Kai to do something, I forget."
"Do you love her?"
"With all my heart. I always have. Do you love Xev?"
"Forever."
"Then we are both set for life, no pun intended."
"How long did it take you to get over the death of your son?"
"I never really did. It still kind of hurts. That's what happens I guess."
"I wouldn't know. I hope I never have to."
"What are you going to call your child Kai?"
"We have not discussed that yet."
"Who named the lizard?"
"Xev did, well, sort of."
"Then, take my advice, you name the kid."
Kai laughed. "I really would have no idea what to call a child. How did you pick Kesey?"
"Tia said it just kind of came to her. I wish I could have been there to be with her while she was mourning."
"You still can be. She still mourns her son."
"I know, but not anywhere near as bad as it must have been."
Kai looked off at the pets. "We may have to build a play area between our houses for those two."
"I've never seen a dark panther roll like a cluster lizard. Odd set of friends huh?"
"I really don't think they are the weirdest among any of us."
Joe laughed, "You got a good point there Kai. What is the Lexx going to do now?"
"We moved him closer to the city. He is comfortable and people will visit him. Stan said he would see him every day. Lexx seemed happy. In fact, he was about as happy as he has ever been. Tia seems exactly the same way."
"I hope so. I hope she can still settle for a guard."
"You are a leader now Joseph. She doesn't have to settle."
"What did we tell our wives we were going to do?"
"I believe it was go visit Stan."
"Where is Stan?"
"I don't know."
"You're a real help Kai."
"Just one more service I offer."
"Where did you hear that?"
"Tia said it once."
"I taught her that. I used to say that whenever she said that sarcasm wasn't necessary. Does she still say, 'are you always this pathetic or…"
"…'is it just for my benefit?' Yes she still does. Stan got that once actually."
"She said that all the time when she was younger. She said it because she knew it bugged me. She always got tickled for that one."
"Did she ever say, 'It's only funny till someone gets hurt, then it's hilarious.' When she was younger."
"The first time she said that I looked at her like she was nuts. Then she started saying it all the time. What about, 'it's the little things in life you treasure.' That was always one of my favorites."
"It is possible. For the first few months she was on board, I was in cryostasis most of the time."
"Oh, but my all time favorite is, 'just because I don't care'…"
"…'doesn't mean I don't understand.' I like that one too. She says that to 790 a lot."
"Speaking of 790, did you find a nurse for him?"
"Yes, I reprogrammed her and she is now desperately in love with him, and him with her."
"I thought 790 was male."
"So did we until yesterday."
"So you had a lesbian robot head, a dark panther cross, a cluster lizard love slave, a dead man, a plant lady, a cluster lizard, a dark panther, and a security guard on that ship? I hope you never walked into a bar."
Kai smiled. It looked like he was going to get along with Joseph.
"IT IS A PLANET STAN."
"Does it have people on it?"
"YES STAN."
"Tell Xev, Kai and Tia to come to the bridge."
"AS YOU COMMAND STAN."
"What Stan?"
"There's a planet Lexx found. Wanna check it out."
Kai looked at the planet. "Sure."
Xev walked over to him, "You guys go ahead, I'll stay here."
"Why?"
"I'm just tired, that's all."
"Are you ok?"
Tia came to her side, "For crying out loud, she's just tired. I'll stay behind too. I haven't been sleeping well either."
"Maybe we should all stay behind."
Tia sighed, "That would kind of defeat the purpose of trying to get some rest wouldn't it. No, you two go down there. You don't need us to hold your hands."
"I know that, but will you two be ok?"
"Oh I don't know, we couldn't powsibly fwend for ourselwes."
"The sarcasm is not needed."
"Just one more service I offer."
Stan got off the command center, "Come on Kai. Let's leave the women here if that's what they want."
"It is."
Stan and Kai left. As soon as they could be seen on their way Tia turned to Xev, "Ok I know you didn't want to worry Kai but what is wrong?"
"I don't know, I just haven't felt good lately."
"Lets have 790 check you out."
Part2
They were in the cryochamber while 790 preformed the scan. Tia was shivering, as Dark Panthers hate the cold.
"All night by the Xev, Xev. All night by the Xev I caressed. While my new- formed body pressed to hers, and my tongue went under her dress."
"That one was gross 790, and shouldn't you be scanning Xev?"
"I scan Xev constantly Panther Bitch. I am able to perform multiple tasks at once."
"Like doing useless annoying pathetic gross poetry and scanning."
"Why don't you…"
"Stop it 790, unless you want to be dead."
"She can not kill me love cups."
"I can remove your love slave programming. You wouldn't love Xev anymore."
"You're bluffing."
"Push me."
790 gasped and continued silently on his scans. The silence went on for a few moments before 790 screamed.
"AHHHHH, OUTRAGE MADNESS. I'LL KILL THAT DEAD MAN!"
"What's wrong?"
"THAT DIRTY GODDESS HANDLING DOG! I'LL BITE HIM TO DEATH!"
"You don't have teeth, now calm down and tell us what is wrong."
"I'LL CUT HIM INTO A MILLION PIECES AND INCINERATE HIM! I'll…"
Xev and Tia screamed in unison, "790! WHAT IS WRONG?"
"THAT FOUL GROWTH OF SOCIETY HAS… HE HAS…"
"What."
"MY PRINCESS IS PREGNANT!"
Xev and Tia both stared in stunned silence for a moment at 790. Not believing what they had heard. They both turned their heads to look at each other and when their eyes met they smiled and screamed. Xev practically jumped into Tia's outstretched arms for a massive hug. They were both crying when they finally let go of each other. Xev looked at 790.
"Is it normal 790?"
"It is a part of you and thus far it is perfect."
"I mean with the cluster lizard and everything."
"It is human with increased strength and agility."
Xev was suddenly solemn, "I don't know how to raise a child, I grew up in a box."
Tia looked confused, "Honey, I raised a rambunctious boy, I think I can help."
Xev smiled, "That's right, you did. I'm going to need your help."
"You have it."
"I have to get Kai up here."
Tia stopped Xev, "Wait, you have to tell him in the right way, this is going to be kind of a shock. We have to handle this gently."
"What should I do?"
"I have a plan."
"Kai, Stan, are you guys almost done down there?"
Stan picked the squaker out of his pocket, "We just got here."
"Well, we are bored, so get up here."
"Fine." He shut off the squaker, "I don't know why she even suggested we come down here if they were just going to call us right back."
"Do you think it may be your repeated attempts to get Tia to sleep with you?"
"So what, I did that to Xev all the time."
"Ah yes Stan, but Xev has nowhere near the temper of Tia. I would watch it if I were you. Pick your words carefully or Xev and I may be scrubbing you off the bridge floor."
Stan thought about that for a second, "Good point."
Part3
"Hi Tia, where's Xev?"
"In your bedroom. She wants to talk to you."
"Oh, ok."
Kai left in that direction leaving Stan and Tia alone.
"What was that all about."
Tia smiled, "Well, I suppose I can tell you. You know how you asked who Kai would have kids with…'
"Yeah?"
"And I said Xev…"
"Yeah?"
"Do you really not know where I'm going with this?"
Stan was only confused a moment more, "Really."
"Shhh… Xev's telling Kai."
"Wow, so fast."
"It's been a year since my trial Stan."
"That long?! Wow, that didn't seem like a year."
"I know."
"A little Kai. That's gonna be odd."
"Things are so odd around here that I doubt that will be the main attraction."
"Touché."
"Xev are you ok?"
Xev was dressed in Tia's gold dress from Penn's place. She was draped of the bed in a suggestive stance.
"I'll give you three guesses."
"Guess what?"
"As to why I've been feeling so rotten lately."
Kai thought for a second. He eyed her suspiciously, "Something tells me I will never guess."
"You're right."
"What then?"
"There is going to be a new crew member."
"One of Tia's friends?"
"No."
"Someone you know?"
"It will be."
"Do I know them?"
"Not yet."
"Well then wha…"
Kai had an expression on his face that told Xev he finally got it.
"Yes."
"You are?"
"Yes."
"When did you find this out?"
"About ten minutes ago. You're happy right?"
Kai finally smiled, "I've never been more happy."
He rushed over to her and lifted her half way off the bed. His kiss took her breath away. He lowered her back down, this time going with her.
"You would think with the amount they have been going at it this would have happened before now."
"Jealous Stan?"
"Damn right. You know, ever since you gave Kai his emotions back he's really become so much easier to be around. Xev too."
Stan noticed Tia was giving him a weird look, "I did what?"
"Gave him his emotions back."
Tia nodded and raised her eyebrows, "You know Stan, can you keep a secret?"
"Yeah."
"My gift has always been that I was able to heal bodies, not minds. I have never been able to give back emotions."
"Then how does Kai have them?"
"He had them all along, he just didn't know if he could express them. I gave him an opportunity, nothing more."
"He's been able to feel from the beginning?"
"Yeah, you didn't notice?"
"I guess all that 'the dead do not' stuff really got to me."
"He mainly didn't want to hurt Xev, and then when she died the first time, it hurt him so much that he shut out all his feelings."
"Wow, I never realized. I'm tired. I'm gonna go find somewhere to sleep for tonight."
"What's wrong with your moth?"
"I don't think I can stand another night listening to those two."
"Pleasant dreams Stan."
"Thanks."
Part4
Stan walked towards his moth bed and was surprised to see he was not the first one there.
Tia was there and was dressed differently. She appeared to be dressed in multi-colored scarves. The scarves were arraigned to look somewhat like her regular outfit. Her feet were bare.
"Hello Stanley."
"Hi Tia. What are you doing in my bed?"
"I've been thinking Stan. Maybe I could make an exception to my little rule."
"Really?"
Tia propped herself up onto her knees, "Really."
She moved her fingers over her breasts and sighed. She stood up and moved towards Stan and shoved him on the bed. He was allowed to sit up while she moved away. She tugged at her top and seductively removed one layer. The outfit slowly disappeared as she removed scarf after scarf. Stan's arousal was obvious. When the layers were done she was left with panties and a bra. She advanced on Stan. She gently pushed him over and pressed against him. Her lips met his. The buttons on his uniform became undone in an instant. She peeled off his clothing and then the remainder of hers.
"Please me Stan."
She held his hand and directed exactly what she wanted. Before long she was thrashing beneath Stanley. He poised above her for an instant before sliding inside. She screamed a primal feline roar and pulled him further. He continued his conquest. They reached the peak together, but their reactions were completely different.
"Oh Tia!"
Tia started to cry, "Oh Joseph!"
Stan awoke with a start, dripping with sweat. It took him a moment before he remembered he had fallen asleep in the galley.
"That was so realistic."
He got up and moved to the bridge, where he found Tia sleeping on the command console. She too was dreaming. Stan brushed aside her indigo tresses with the back of his hand.
"Sweet dreams Tia. You deserve them."
"Hey, another planet! Maybe we can all go down this time."
Xev smiled, "Sounds good to me."
"Lets go."
Part5
"You think you're going to make a good dad Kai?"
"I hope so Stan, but I guess no one ever really knows until it's too late."
"Yeah. Do you think Tia's getting better?"
Kai thought for a moment, "I think that she no longer wants to die. That could be considered better, but she will never completely heal."
"Why not?"
"She was ripped apart in a matter of a few days Stan. She'll never be able to fully trust anyone again."
"I still can't believe a father could do that to his daughter."
"People are capable of great cruelties Stan."
Just then Tia and Xev came running around the corner of a building followed by a small, black, fuzzy, rolling ball. They were both laughing. When they reached Kai and Stan, Xev launched herself into Kai's arms.
Stan was nervous, "What is that?"
Tia was the first to catch her breath and grabbed the ball of fur now cuddling at her feet. "It's a baby Dark Panther Stan. This guy is selling all sorts of odd creatures and I bought this."
"With what?"
"Food from Lexx. He tasted it and loved it."
"Who could love that stuff?"
"I don't know but he did."
Xev said, "She is so adorable Stan. She makes all sorts of odd noises."
"I expected something that looked like a cat, not a fuzz ball."
The fuzz ball growled. Tia laughed, "She's only a baby Stan. She will look like a cat when she grows into her long hair."
"What are you going to call it?"
"I hadn't thought of that. What do you think I should call her?"
"How about Fuzzball?"
"Sounds good."
Kai stepped forward to pet Fuzzball, "They don't happen to have a baby cluster lizard do they?"
Xev smiled, "We could check."
"Let's do that."
Stan was even more worried now, "Wait. I am not going to have two dangerous predators on board!"
Tia defended her new baby, "She won't be dangerous Stan. Dark Panthers are loyal to a fault. Just make friends and you will be fine."
"Fine, but what will we feed her?"
"She can eat anything, they don't have to eat meat. She can eat the Lexx paste like us."
"All right, but a cluster lizard! That's a little beyond our control."
"I just want to look Stan. They probably don't have one anyway."
Part 6
"Well, a baby no…"
"See Stan."
"But I do have an egg."
"What?"
"An egg. I can't give any guarantees on that one, but you're welcome to it."
Kai looked at his companions, "What do you think?"
Xev immediately agreed. Tia said, "If it's what you want Kai, then it's fine with me."
Stan stepped forward, "NO, absolutely not."
Tia looked at him, "You are outvoted Stan."
They worked out a deal with the man and were presented with the egg.
Kai examined it, "It should hatch in the next day or so."
"Whatever, can we go back to the Lexx now, before you guys find something even more dangerous to buy."
"Sounds good to me, but I want to come back. This is a nice planet."
"HEY GUYS, THE EGG'S MOVING! GET IN HERE."
They all came to the bridge where Stan was yelling. Fuzzball was not far behind. Tia picked her up and held her while they all gathered around.
They named the baby cluster lizard Squish Jr. It had bonded closest to Kai, but seemed to like Xev, Stan, and Tia. They had kept Squish and Fuzzball separate, but had finally decided to go down to the planet. Before putting them both in the moth they had to meet. Tia and Kai released their pets at the same time. Fuzzball and Squish rolled over to each other and sniffed each other for a moment. Squish let out a scream that was immediately silenced as a little paw came swiftly out of the ball of fur and got Squish across the mouth. He whimpered and returned to his mother. The fight was over. Fuzzball was the top pet on the Lexx, and that was never again questioned.
The planet was continuing to be a nice distraction. Stan was no longer whining about the new pets because he was now in charge of Fuzzball for the day. She was curled around his neck, asleep and purring. Her paws were massaging his neck. He was getting more and more relaxed by the moment. Tia had bought a leash and collar for her, along with bigger ones for when she gets older. Xev had picked out fabrics when Tia said she had learned how to sew perfectly when she was little. Xev would need new clothes in the coming months. Squish was constantly at Kai's side. He rolled along with Kai at the perfect speed, with a look every once in a while to see that his friend, Fuzzball, was still ok. People passing in the street made sure to stay clear of the odd group.
"So what should we do now."
Stan spoke through a layer of hair, "We've done all there is to do here. I say we leave before our luck runs out and someone tries to eat us or something."
"Actually, I'm not against going either. It's kind of boring here."
Xev said, "Sounds good to me."
Kai shrugged, "The dead do not care."
All three looked at him with a disgusted look on their faces. Kai grinned and they all continued back to the packed moths.
Part7
Xev was on the floor of the bridge playing with Fuzzball. The three months since they got them had gone by uneventfully. Xev was just starting to show and her morning sickness had stopped. Fuzzball was now slowly taking shape. Instead of a ball of hair, she looked like a ball with huge feet and a small snout sticking out of it. Squish was not growing by leaps and bounds, but he had gained a little weight. Fuzzball had started rolling like a cluster lizard. Tia had scolded her several times because she was not supposed to do that and she could hurt herself. Fuzzball had politely ignored her suggestions.
Xev's playing was interrupted by a giggle from a familiar source.
"Lyekka?"
"Hi."
"You're not hungry are you?"
"No, I want to see Stanley."
"He's in his room I think."
Squish then rolled in and screamed at Lyekka. Fuzzball then got upset as well.
"Kai, Tia, GET IN HERE!"
Kai and Tia ran in and saw the situation. Tia calmed Fuzzball while Kai picked up Squish.
Kai turned to Lyekka, "Hello Lyekka, these are Fuzzball and Squish."
Tia looked at her, "Please don't eat them."
"I won't. Is Stanley in the moth?"
"Yeah I think so."
"Thanks."
She took off down the hall with a playful lope.
Xev sighed, "Major crisis averted."
Tia put Fuzzball down, "You're telling me. Come on Fuzz, let's get something to eat. Coming Squish?"
Squish squealed and Kai let him down. He went ahead of Tia and Fuzzball chased him down the corridor.
Kai gave Xev a hand in getting up, "What did Lyekka want?"
"She wanted to see Stanley. She is so attached to him."
"What, like I am to you."
"Worse." She grinned. "Let's get something to eat."
"I still don't eat Xev."
"Then you can entertain me while I eat."
She grabbed his hand and pulled him down the hall.
Part 8
Xev's dreams were getting less and less erotic. She figured it was because of the voracious and beautiful sex she was now getting from Kai. He wanted to try some of his memories every night. It was never the same, but he always made sure she was satisfied. Xev never even felt her raging libido anymore. He was deliberate and meticulous in every motion of his newly awakened body. She enjoyed the sex immensely; however, it was not what she enjoyed most. She was finally loved. They held hands, they kissed hello and goodbye, and he murmured sweet words of love. It was something she had been waiting for her entire life. He lay beside her every night, sleeping a dreamless sleep. He needed to sleep, not dream. He loved her and she loved him.
She snuggled closer to him before she realized he was awake.
"Good morning."
"Morning, Kai."
"How did you sleep?"
"Fine."
"Great, what do you want to do now?"
"You know what I want to do."
Kai smiled and kissed her passionately.
"Hi 790."
"YOU USELESS SLIMY DEAD BASTARD!"
"What?"
"I WILL INCINERATE YOUR DEGENERATED CORPSE! YOU TOUCHED MY BELOVED!"
"Of course I did 790. I love her."
"YOU CAN NEVER POSSIBLY LOVE HER LIKE I DO!"
"She's happy 790, isn't that what is important?"
790 paused for a minute, "She can't be happy without me."
"She is 790. She's happy. Isn't that what you want?"
"Yes."
"Then you have accomplished your goal."
Kai left the bridge. 790 wouldn't let him have the last word, "I'll always love her dead man. IF YOU HURT HER IN ANY WAY I WILL MAKE YOU SUFFER!"
"You have my word I will not harm her."
"Good."
Part 9
Stan and Lyekka were lying on Stan's bed after making love.
"I like you Stanley."
"I like you too Lyekka."
"Do I make you happy?"
"Very happy."
"That's good. I want to make you happy."
"Lyekka, why do you want to make me happy?"
"Because I like you."
"Yeah but why? You're a plant. Why do you like me?"
"I don't know. I just do. You make me happy."
"Really?'
"Yes Stanley."
"You make me happy too Lyekka."
"That's good."
Lyekka seemed to fall asleep in Stan's arms.
"What should I expect next Tia?"
"Well, I can only tell you what happened to me. It may be different for you. You are part cluster lizard."
"That's fine I just want something to go on."
"Next I started filling out more around the middle. I also started to get really odd cravings."
"Like what?"
"Different things, like, fries and toast, tomatoes and steak, weird combinations. Things like that. Also the maternal instincts were really strong about this time. Joseph used to laugh at some of the stuff I would say. I actually said, 'don't run with those scissors.' It was humiliating."
"Who did you say that too?"
"Joseph."
"He was your guard, I don't think scissors was his biggest threat."
"I know, but I couldn't help it. It was like something in my brain just went nuts."
"I hope I don't end up telling Kai not to run with scissors."
"You don't have to worry. We don't have scissors on board. I had to cut the fabric with my claws. They turned out nice though."
"I really liked the one Fuzz ate."
"Me too, but that's what I get for leaving it out. Stupid cat."
Xev snickered, "I guess."
Fuzz looked up from her place in Tia's lap to give her a stricken look.
"I'm just kidding."
Fuzz put her head back down, satisfied.
"Who would have thought that a cluster lizard and a dark panther could be the best of friends?"
"Who would have ever thought a dead man and a love slave could fall in love?"
"You got me there."
Tia laughed.
Xev asked, "What do you think is going to happen with Lyekka and Stan?"
"I really don't know. They make each other happy. I suppose that's what's most important."
Xev nodded.
"STAN, STAN, STAN, STAN, STAN…"
"Yeah Lexx."
"I FOUND ANOTHER PLANET STAN, AND I AM VERY HUNGRY."
"Is there a place where you can eat without harming any people?"
"I WILL SEE……YES STAN."
"Ok Lexx, go ahead and eat there."
"THANK YOU STAN."
They shook slightly as Lexx landed.
The others came to the bridge.
"Lexx found a planet and he's eating, want to check it out?"
They all headed for the moth bay.
Part10
Kai and Stan landed the moths about a half-mile away from the city at Tia's suggestion, to make sure they could get away if needed. They all started walking towards the rather large and peaceful city they had seen. They came upon a woman walking away from the city. When she looked up her expression was one of intense joy. She then flung herself on the ground to bow.
"Your highness. Is it really you?"
Kai pushed Xev and Tia behind him.
"Why?"
"We thought you dead Empress. We have searched for you but found no sign. You have returned to us."
Tia stepped out from behind Kai, "Are you a Miranian?"
"I was my Lady, now we call this new home Kesea, after your son."
"Are you the rebels?"
"We are my lady."
"I was put on trial by…"
"…the Loyalists my Lady. They were the ones who stayed loyal to your father. You saved us from his evil."
Tia went over to her, "Rise, please."
The woman embraced her. "Thank you for returning."
"To be honest, I didn't know this was even here."
"It doesn't matter. The villagers must see you and meet your friends."
Tia turned to them, "Is that ok with you?"
Stan, Kai and Xev nodded. 790 remained silent staring at Xev and Lyekka didn't move one way or another. Fuzz and Squish were obediently following behind.
The woman led them to the village.
The crew sat, surrounded by the villagers, who had come to see their heroin the flesh. They were all asked questions.
"What is your ship like?"
Stan replied, "It's a big bug. Its name is Lexx."
"Why did you pick this planet?"
Stan replied, "Lexx was hungry."
"Are you really dead?"
Kai replied, "Sort of, not really that much anymore."
"You are having a child?"
Xev replied, "Yes, Kai's child."
It was Tia's turn to ask a question, "Who leads you?"
"An elected leader who is advised by members of the community."
Another added, "We are aloud to vote every year, but we have had only one leader since we came here 800 years ago."
Yet another added, "You know him My Lady."
Tia asked, "Who?"
"Your husband."
Tia was frozen in place, but the crew could tell she was about to burst
In a quiet voice she said, "What?"
"Your husband."
Tia roared and stood straight up, "I was told he was dead!"
"He escaped Empress."
Her voice got very noticeably deeper, "I will kill him."
She stormed out of the house, followed by her friends and confused villagers. Kai tried to stop her.
"Tia think about this."
"Think about what?"
"About what you are going to do."
"I have thought about it Kai. I'm going to torture him for three weeks before hanging him with his intestines. Then I'm going to cut his body into miniscule pieces and set fire to them. IS THAT ENOUGH THOUGHT!?"
"Tia, He has obviously done some good for these people. Look at that."
Tia turned to him. Her eyes were almost completely silver. "You son of a bitch. You are defending a man who murdered an innocent ten-year-old boy and his father so he could get me to sleep with him. What is wrong with you!?"
"I'm not defending him…" Tia continued on towards the center of town, "…but you have not considered the consequences of your actions. This could be devastating for these people."
"They will overcome. They are strong and don't need a murderer leading them."
"Are you forgetting you are considered a murderer to a certain group of people."
Tia stopped to face him again, "I do not plan nor want to lead these people anywhere."
"So you are going to leave them without a leader? Doesn't that sound familiar?"
Tia slapped him across the face and continued on.
There were no guards at the house in the center of town. Tia busted the doors in, followed by a now silent Lexx crew.
The only sounds inside were from a meeting room. Tia advanced on it and kicked the door down. She stopped immediately when she saw the figure in the middle of the room. He also saw her.
Xev's immediate thought was that he didn't look at all like Tia's description of the Duke. He was devastatingly handsome with an amazing smile. He had short brown hair with deep brown eyes. His body was not at all overweight. He had the body of a runner, or a soldier. She then saw Tia's expression and realized who that was.
"Kai… is it…"
"I believe so."
"But they weren't married."
Tia fell to her knees. A lone tear fell down her face. He looked stunned. He finally choked out a word, "Tia?"
Tia gasped when he spoke. She still was silent. Fuzz went over to Tia and nuzzled her, not understanding. That broke Tia out of her daze and she started crying hard.
The man rushed over to her, leaping across a table, and pulled her into his arms. They were both crying now. Many of the villagers were crying, along with Xev.
Stan was the only one confused, "Ok, who is that?"
Tia answered, "Is it really you Joseph?"
"It is my darling."
"You're dead."
"No, that idiot of a father of yours sent two of my former soldiers to kill me. We faked my death. I searched for you, but when I heard you came home and killed your father, I was told you were killed also, that you had committed suicide. I missed you so much."
"You lead the rebellion didn't you?"
"Yes, I couldn't stand it anymore. After yours and Kesey's deaths, I had nothing to lose."
"How, I mean, how…"
"Nothing matters anymore, as long as you are here. Never leave me again. Promise me."
"I promise."
He broke the embrace slightly so he could stand up and lift Tia up.
"I like your hair like that."
"I don't, but I don't have a choice."
"Now that you are here we can fix that. We can't remove the dark panther, but we can do whatever you want with your hair."
"Thank you."
"Now, who are these whom I should thank for bringing you back to me?"
"This is Xev, Kai, Lyekka, Stan, 790, Fuzz, and Squish."
Kai asked, "Why did the villagers call you her husband?"
"It shorter that the father of her child." Joseph flashed an amazing smile that further melted Tia. It always had. "Besides, I should have been. I, if you haven't caught on, am Joseph." He kissed Tia with obvious passion.
Part11
The introductions and explanations had taken a long time to do. When they had done that, they all took a trip to the Lexx. Joseph was impressed by it, but insisted that they stay with him and Tia tonight, if not longer. They had all had a wonderful dinner and Joseph or Joe, as he said that they could call him, had shown them to their rooms. They had two spacious bedrooms connected by a huge living area. The four of them were in the living area talking. Tia and Joe had gone off to be alone.
"I guess Tia will be staying here then."
Kai answered, "Yes Stan."
"It seems like a nice place."
Xev spoke up, "It is, in fact, we have been looking for a home. Maybe this should be it. Think about it, Lexx has plenty to eat for the rest of his life, there are plenty of homes her if we want one, we know the leader is a very decent guy. This is exactly what we have been looking for."
"It does sound nice. What do you think Kai?"
"It would be better to raise a child on a planet rather than a ship."
"And Lyekka could live with you Stan."
"I would like that Stanley."
"What would we do with 790."
"He would have to stay with me. No one else would be able to stand him."
"Or we could reprogram him so that he loves something that can love him back, maybe another nice robot or something. That one lady said that the nurses are robots. What about one of those?"
They all considered it. Xev spoke. "Great idea Stan."
"Then it's settled, we are staying."
They all smiled. Xev reached over and hugged Kai and he gave her a quick kiss.
"Who gets to tell Tia?"
"You're staying too. That's great."
Tia hugged Xev mercilessly before realizing she was almost suffocating her.
"Sorry."
"No problem."
"Where are you guys gonna live? You have to live by me and Joe."
"Kai and I found a nice place just across the road from you and Lyekka and Stan will be a little further down on a farm."
"A farm? Stan the farmer?"
"NO, stuff for Lyekka to eat."
"Oh, that makes a lot more sense."
"Where's Joe?"
"He went with Kai to do something, I forget."
"Do you love her?"
"With all my heart. I always have. Do you love Xev?"
"Forever."
"Then we are both set for life, no pun intended."
"How long did it take you to get over the death of your son?"
"I never really did. It still kind of hurts. That's what happens I guess."
"I wouldn't know. I hope I never have to."
"What are you going to call your child Kai?"
"We have not discussed that yet."
"Who named the lizard?"
"Xev did, well, sort of."
"Then, take my advice, you name the kid."
Kai laughed. "I really would have no idea what to call a child. How did you pick Kesey?"
"Tia said it just kind of came to her. I wish I could have been there to be with her while she was mourning."
"You still can be. She still mourns her son."
"I know, but not anywhere near as bad as it must have been."
Kai looked off at the pets. "We may have to build a play area between our houses for those two."
"I've never seen a dark panther roll like a cluster lizard. Odd set of friends huh?"
"I really don't think they are the weirdest among any of us."
Joe laughed, "You got a good point there Kai. What is the Lexx going to do now?"
"We moved him closer to the city. He is comfortable and people will visit him. Stan said he would see him every day. Lexx seemed happy. In fact, he was about as happy as he has ever been. Tia seems exactly the same way."
"I hope so. I hope she can still settle for a guard."
"You are a leader now Joseph. She doesn't have to settle."
"What did we tell our wives we were going to do?"
"I believe it was go visit Stan."
"Where is Stan?"
"I don't know."
"You're a real help Kai."
"Just one more service I offer."
"Where did you hear that?"
"Tia said it once."
"I taught her that. I used to say that whenever she said that sarcasm wasn't necessary. Does she still say, 'are you always this pathetic or…"
"…'is it just for my benefit?' Yes she still does. Stan got that once actually."
"She said that all the time when she was younger. She said it because she knew it bugged me. She always got tickled for that one."
"Did she ever say, 'It's only funny till someone gets hurt, then it's hilarious.' When she was younger."
"The first time she said that I looked at her like she was nuts. Then she started saying it all the time. What about, 'it's the little things in life you treasure.' That was always one of my favorites."
"It is possible. For the first few months she was on board, I was in cryostasis most of the time."
"Oh, but my all time favorite is, 'just because I don't care'…"
"…'doesn't mean I don't understand.' I like that one too. She says that to 790 a lot."
"Speaking of 790, did you find a nurse for him?"
"Yes, I reprogrammed her and she is now desperately in love with him, and him with her."
"I thought 790 was male."
"So did we until yesterday."
"So you had a lesbian robot head, a dark panther cross, a cluster lizard love slave, a dead man, a plant lady, a cluster lizard, a dark panther, and a security guard on that ship? I hope you never walked into a bar."
Kai smiled. It looked like he was going to get along with Joseph.