I have been writing non-stop for days and am finally forcing myself to stop and edit some things. So that also means mass-uploading in the next day or two, probably. Hope y'all don't mind. (Mostly I feel weird about posting them in a different order than I wrote them, but that's just my own dumb hangup, so.)
Enjoy! And please spare a moment to comment if you don't mind, it would make my day to hear from you.
[Cross-posted to AO3]
"Uggggh!" Stella, in her usual fashion, was making things a little bit difficult for everyone – by lying on the tour bus floor. As if she wasn't complaining loudly enough, she was impossible to ignore there, since it was extremely difficult to navigate the narrow space without stepping on her.
Charlie laughed and nudged her in the side with one socked foot. "C'mon, Stell, we're all tired," he reminded her.
Melodramatically, she threw her arms over her head, filling even more of the limited floor space. "I'm exhausted, Charlie," she protested, fighting to keep a straight face as his toes found the ticklish spot above her hip. He grinned watching her try not to squirm. "I've never been this busy in my life. When did we last spend more than 24 hours in one place?"
"Columbus last week," Mo answered, leaning out of the bathroom with a toothbrush hanging out of her mouth. "We were there for 27 hours."
"You know," Scott pointed out, stepping over Stella's middle on his way to the kitchenette, "if you're really that tired, you could make like the rest of us and go to bed." He chuckled while he refilled his water bottle from the cooler.
Stella groaned loudly. "But I miss just hanging out and not doing anything," she whined. "Like, for more than an hour and a half at a time. It seems like we spend most of our time that isn't rushing to the next show or interview here on the bus, asleep."
Wen stood above her head, leaning over at the waist to face her, albeit upside down. "I miss it too," he admitted with a smile. "But hey, two more weeks and we'll be home."
"I never knew how much I'd look forward to getting home," she said, pouting.
"You tired of us already?" Charlie asked, stretching his leg out from his spot on the couch to poke her again.
"Never," Stella answered, sticking her tongue out at him. "But it's getting a lot, don't you think? Like, I love playing with you guys, and the shows are insane fun, and travelling together is really cool… but I'm ready to all lay in the grass in Olivia's backyard for another cloud-watching session."
Olivia smiled from her seat next to Charlie where she was having a quick snack before bed. "Me too," she answered warmly, swallowing a bite of her muffin. "This is fun, but it's overwhelming, as well."
"Exactly," Stella said emphatically, pointing to Olivia. "I love this, but I also kind of miss how things were a few months ago. Performing for our classmates at Dante's, just a small room and a small crowd. It was more personal."
"That's true," Mo admitted, emerging from the bathroom. "All yours, Scott," she added as an aside to her boyfriend, who picked his way over Stella's body again to go brush his teeth. "It's easy to miss the intimacy of those performances. In these big venues there are so many faces. It's cool, but I don't feel like I'm connecting with people as much. I liked interacting with the audience at home."
"Yeah, me too," Charlie admitted. "Huge crowds are kind of cool but they're not really my thing, long term."
"Yes," Stella agreed. "I mean, both are great. But I miss that, Mo. Also I miss you guys. We don't get to just hang out as much these last few weeks, unless you count napping in a pile."
"Well, maybe we can dig out some time somewhere," Wen suggested, stepping across her. He pinched a piece off of Olivia's muffin and wagged his eyebrows at her as he popped it into his mouth, making her giggle. Then he turned to consult the itinerary stuck to the fridge. "It looks like we have a little breathing room between Orlando and Atlanta. Bet we could make some plans for in there." He peered at the sheet a moment longer. "Probably Sacramento and Phoenix, next week, too."
"I'd be up for making plans of some kind," Mo agreed from the tiny dining table. "Downtime together would be really nice."
"Count me in," Scott called from the washroom. Olivia and Charlie exchanged glances and nodded, voicing their agreement as well.
"Okay," Wen said, glancing down at Stella. "So we'll try to make plans to just hang out at least those two times. Sound good?"
"Yeah," she admitted, smiling. "That does make me feel better."
"Good," Mo answered, reaching down to grab Stella's hand. "Now go get ready for bed. You'll thank me in the morning."
Because Stella was feeling stubborn, it took Charlie's help for Mo to haul Stella up off the floor and shove her through the door into the tiny bedroom she shared with the other girls. Mo kissed Scott good night and followed her in, wishing everybody sweet dreams. Scott wished the others a good night as well and went down the hall into the room he shared with Wen and Charlie. As the main room grew quieter, Olivia returned her attention to the book in her lap, Charlie went back to whatever game he was playing on his phone, and Wen dug an almost-finished box of crackers out of the cupboard and sat down with it at the table.
Around when Wen was finishing his snack, Charlie turned off his phone and stretched. "Okay. Time for me to pack it in, I think. Night guys."
"Night Charlie," the other two answered, waving as he left. Wen got up to throw out his empty box and then stopped to look at Olivia's book for a moment.
"You've been reading that the whole tour, haven't you?" he asked.
She glanced up and nodded. "It's not easy to find time to get to it," she admitted. "But it's a good book, and it helps take my mind off the stress."
Wen sat down next to her on the couch. "You homesick too?"
Olivia nodded again. "I haven't been away from Gram for this long since I moved in with her as a kid," she told him. "And like the others were saying… all this tour stuff, it's great, but it's an awful lot."
"I thought you'd been coping really well," he told her. "You hiding anything from me?" He smiled gently and poked her in the shoulder.
She smiled too, shaking her head. "No," she promised, placing her bookmark in her book and closing it in her lap as she turned to face him better. "I'm handling it all right. It helps being with you guys. You're all really good at making me feel better, especially you."
"I'm glad," he answered happily.
"But it is tiring. I won't be sorry to get home and rest for a while."
"Me neither," he nodded. "And then back to our small shows, small crowds, small stages."
"Do you miss the small stages too?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. "I thought that was only me. I feel like I get a little lost up there on the big ones."
"I miss how close together we were. All of us," he clarified, though that hadn't been what he meant. "You all seem so far away sometimes now."
She brushed her hair behind her ear, remembering fondly. "It's a bit of a trek to get to any of you on the big stages," she said. "I like interacting with you guys on stage, dancing with you and everything. It's way harder now, especially with Charlie, and you, when you're on the full keyboard. Not to mention choreography to stick to."
"Yeah, exactly," Wen agreed. "And, I don't know if this is weird, but I kind of miss when it was just us on stage? Like, without all the dancers and stage crew and stuff," he carried on. "Don't get me wrong, I love those guys, they're great. But I miss how we all used to have to navigate around each other, and coordinate everything, and work together to make things work."
"No, that totally makes sense," she assured him. "It was fun when everything was up to us, and depended on us knowing each other and our system and everything. Plus that was another way we got to interact more. I miss running up behind you with your keytar during Determinate and helping you get going after you finished your rap."
"That is exactly what I was thinking of," he said with a crooked grin.
Olivia returned his smile. "It almost feels like the performance is too big sometimes. It's amazing, but I miss the… almost cosiness of what things were like before."
"It's kind of a relief to know that someone else feels the same way," he told her. "I do love what we're doing now. It's a dream come true. Which is kinda why I thought I must be nuts for missing things about before."
She shook her head. "No, it makes perfect sense to me."
"Cool," Wen answered. Sitting next to her now, close together, pressed comfortably against each other in ways that were friendly and familiar, he watched her face for a moment, and then opted for a little more candor than he usually did. "You remember how you used to come dance with me by the keyboard sometimes while you were singing? It started in our first few practices," he said. "I always really liked that. For a lot of reasons. I liked the… spontaneity of it. You did it because you were having fun and our eyes would meet and you'd come to see me. I liked seeing that confidence in you." She was beaming now. "Everything is planned now, and you're still confident, probably more confident than ever, but it's different. I liked how we'd catch each other's eyes and you'd just come over. I miss that a lot."
"Aw, Wen," she responded, looking down into her lap in embarrassment. "You're really sweet."
"Well it's only true!" he laughed.
She looked up again, biting her lip, and for a second he wondered. "I miss that too," she said softly. "You're my favourite to dance with. You make it easiest for me to forget about my nerves. And we're… you know, it feels like we're always on the same page. We're always in sync when we perform, no matter how much planning was involved. Dancing with you always felt good."
"Really good," he agreed, a little distractedly, marvelling at her expression, her eyes, and the things they were doing to his insides. Her cheeks flushed slightly as he stared, and somehow he only grinned a little wider. She wasn't looking away, so – holding his breath – he slowly began to lean closer.
He was pretty near, neither of them were breathing, it would only be another fraction of a second, when they heard a voice and he froze. "Olivia!" Mo hissed down the hallway. From the couch they couldn't see her, and they knew she couldn't see them, but still they both blushed as if caught. "Are you coming to bed soon?"
"U-um, yeah, pretty soon, I guess," Olivia managed to respond, swallowing hard.
"Stella's snoring again and I can never get it to stop like you do," Mo told her.
"It's not that hard," Olivia said, almost more to Wen than to Mo, as she slowly looked up and met his eyes. He had pulled away a little, watching her face. "You just have to rub her back."
"It only works when you do it," Mo complained.
"Yeah, okay. I'll be right there," Olivia said. There was the soft sound of Mo shutting the bedroom door again. Olivia and Wen watched each other for a moment. "I should—"
"Yeah," he said quickly, looking away.
"Um, good night, Wen," she answered, stumbling to her feet.
"Night, Olivia," he nodded. Standing up as well, he gave her a short hug, since a hug good night was something they did fairly often, and then she turned and hurried down the hall. When he heard the bedroom door close behind her, he looked down at his feet, smiling wistfully. "Damn."
x
Their planned hang-out several days later, ironically, had quickly turned into a jam session. They had intended to relax, but then somehow they'd gotten talking about how organized and structured their performances were now, and they missed just goofing off together and seeing what came out of it, like they so often did in practices, and before they knew it they found themselves inside the studio they were visiting, playing away. They threw away all the choreography and cues and rules they had learned in the last few months and just had fun with it. For the first time in weeks they had a chance to exchange new ideas they had, dance together, and run around without having to watch for a dozen other people.
There was no mistaking the way Olivia orbited Wen. She danced with everyone, but she looked back at him all the time, found herself drawn over to the keyboard to dance with him. For another song Stella and Wen picked up mics and Olivia grabbed her guitar, and she and Wen barely seemed to take their eyes off each other, circling one another as they performed. It hardly went over the others' heads – even Charlie noticed – but no one really minded. They were all having a good time.
Olivia and Wen both found themselves thinking again how much they'd really missed this. They didn't ignore the others, and they realized more viscerally than ever now how much they'd missed interacting with everyone, but they really had missed each other. They were so in sync, played so well off of one another no matter what they were doing. It was therapeutic to bounce off one another that way after not having the chance for so long.
While the band toyed around with an improvised tune, Olivia started adding in some lyrics that she'd been working on just before the tour started. Wen recognized them immediately and when she paused after the chorus, glancing at him, he knew – yet again – that they were thinking the same thing. He grabbed the mic from her outstretched hand as he rounded the keyboard, diving into the short rap he'd been writing for the same song.
As he did, Olivia glanced around the studio. Their conversation from the other night had just popped into her head, and with a grin, she picked up his keytar from a stand behind the keyboard. Wen neared the end of his verse and she came up behind him, lifting the keytar over his head and resting the strap on his shoulder like she used to do during Determinate.
Wen finished his last line at the same time that she put the instrument on him, and he turned to look at her in surprise. Following his shock there was a brief look of admiration, even adoration in his eyes. And then, startling everyone, he put his hands on Olivia's shoulders and yanked her impulsively forward, kissing her hard as the dropped microphone thumped and screeched against the floor by his feet. Her stomach crushed against the keys of his instrument and played a cacophony of harsh notes as she overcame her surprise and threw her arms around his neck. His hands shifted to her cheeks and held her close for a moment while everyone else's playing came to a stop.
The other four were staring. Mo's delighted "oh my god" came at the same moment as Stella's "hell yes," and Scott, laughing, leaned down to pick up and turn off the dropped microphone and rescue them from the feedback. He put it on a stand and played an obnoxiously, stereotypically sexy little riff, finally jogging Wen and Olivia back to reality.
They parted and she pulled far enough away to release the keys on his keytar, which he shifted onto his back immediately to get it out of the way and pull her close again, grinning. "Goddamn I missed you onstage," he said quietly as she put her arms over his shoulders again.
Olivia smiled, blushing, dropping her face into Wen's chest as Stella strummed idly on her guitar to remind them they weren't alone. "Yes. Well. I missed you too," she murmured into his shirt. "That was an acceptable reaction. Understandable, I think."
"Good job, guys," Charlie told them, getting up from his drums and going to stand with the guitarists. "Stella owes me money now," he added, grinning.
"Oh no," Olivia groaned.
Mo smacked Charlie in the arm. "That doesn't matter right now! We're really excited for you two!" she said, beaming.
"Thank you Mo," Olivia answered, still buried in Wen's chest. Scott and Stella exchanged grins as Wen, only half-listening to anything else, reached down and lifted Olivia's chin so she'd look at him again. They were both still smiling uncontrollably.
"Can we work this back into our performances?" he asked. "This whole dancing-together, interacting, being-near-each-other thing?"
"Well only if you're not going to interrupt the song like that every time she comes near you, man," Scott laughed.