"I don't know Joe, we're trying..."
At those words Cruz jumped in the ambulance with his unconscious friend, while Brett was trying to keep him alive till they could make to Med.
Otis wasn't moving, his pressure was at minimum, his heartbeat was barely stable.
That was the worst part of the job: watching a friend in distress and can do nothing.
They were all used to jump in the action, and try to save the day, but this time was different. They were doing their best to protect the family, but what if their best wasn't enough?
While Dowson was trying to drive as fast and safe as she could, monitoring him and making sure the IVs were fully working was the only thing Sylvie could do, except for praying.
And they all did.
.
"It's fine, Otis is fine."
Those words meant a lot more for Hermann and the others than just "call me whatever you want"; the surgery went well, the bullet was out, their friend was going to be fine.
Otis was overwhelmed by how much his friends and colleagues cared for him;
he wasn't really used to be at the center of the attention, not at house 51, where he often felt like he was still a candidate, even after almost 10 years of service, not in his childhood, being the last of three children with his parents always telling him: "why can't you be more like your brothers?"
This time however they were all there supporting him and that, for sure, was helping reliving the pain.
He was really grateful, and he wanted to say something more than just "thank you guys," but he couldn't; the surgery was too much, the pain in his head and neck was starting to grow really bad, and now he needed to rest.
The guys noticed he was struggling to keep his eyes open so they left his room, always smiling to him to make him feel their love.
.
"Let's just me check on something."
Dr. Choi's words resonated in Otises mind, he tried not to show Lily and Joe how much scared he was, he didn't want them to panic as much as he did, but that was really hard.
He wasn't feeling his legs, he couldn't move his toes.
He said "I'm sure it's nothing," but he was sure of anything.
That was too much, his world stopped, his head started to spin.
His mind was a stream of thoughts:
"when did that happened? How did I miss that? How didn't I noticed before?
What is wrong whit me?
What's next? What am I gonna do? What if..."
He couldn't go on that way, so he tried to act strong, and asked Lily to hand him some water so he could ease the shock, and, at the same time, make her feel useful.
Otis was confused, he was in pain and he was exhausted.
He suddenly felt his body heavy, at least the parts that he could still feel, and started to grow uncomfortable with the collar and all the tubes he was attached at; he had a tube in his nose to provide oxigen, two IVs in his left arm, an oximeter attached to his right hand, a cardiac monitor attached to his chest, and even a catheter, "of course, since I can barely move I can't even go to the bathroom on my own," he tough "oh man, what if I'll never be able to that again."
The room was silent for long, no one knew what to say, and suddenly it was time for guest to go and leave the patient all alone with his thoughts.
That was going to be a long night.