I don't own any of the characters/scenes. This is not for profit/just for fun. Don't use this in an illegal way or the beans will release a tribe of rabid lawyers.

Stan stomped through the Lexx with a definite purpose. He came upon Tia lying on the bridge.

"I can't take it anymore."

"Take what?"

"I need someone Tia. First, I have to be around two beautiful women, secondly, I now know for certain that Xev will never sleep with me, and third, I have to listen, every night, to, 'Oh Kai' 'Oh Xev' 'Yes yes yes'. You owe me."

Tia sat up with anger obviously building, "I OWE you."

Stan backed off, "Maybe owe isn't the right word…"

"Damn right it isn't!"

"Look, I need something, please."

"Why don't you ask Lyekka?"

"Lyekka said that the next time she wakes up, she will need to eat. We are no where near a planet, and I have nothing for her to eat. Well, not in that way anyway."

Tia rolled her eyes and lay back down, "I told you I don't sleep with friends Stan."

"I know, but, couldn't you make an exception just this once?"

"No, end of conversation."

"FINE!"

Stan stormed off the bridge. Tia sighed.



"STAN, I HAVE FOUND A PLANET. STAN, STAN, STAN, STAN…"

"Yeah Lexx?"

"I HAVE FOUND A PLANET STAN."

"All right Lexx. That's great."

"What's great Stanley?"

Stan turned to see Xev, Kai and Tia all walking on to the bridge. Xev was holding 790.

"Lexx found a planet, and we are going."

Xev asked, "Why are you so motivated?"

"Lyekka, Lyekka, I found food for you."

Tia spoke up, "For crying out loud Stan. Are you always this pathetic, or is it just for my benefit?"

Stan stuck out his tongue and turned back to Lyekka when he heard her giggle.

"Hi Stanley."

"Hi Lyekka. There's a planet if you want something to eat."

"That would be nice."



They had split up into two moths. One containing Stan and Lyekka, the other containing Xev, Kai and Tia. Everyone else had decided it would be best if they did not ride with a hungry Lyekka. They all landed on the outskirts of a large town with a huge building in the middle.

They all proceeded into the town, stopping at what looked to be a tavern.

Kai, Xev and Tia were talking to some local women in the corner while Stan and Lyekka talked at the bar. Lyekka had already left and come back, saying she had eaten. No one asked what or who. The entire tavern was emptied except for the crew of the Lexx at the sound of a horn in the distance. The crew soon followed everyone outside, just in time to see the approach of several men in tight formation. The crowd was staring at the men.











The group followed Tia over to a girl she had been talking to earlier. "Hey, what's happening?"

The girl looked at her with wide eyes and a screechy high voice, "It's him, he'slikethemostfantabulousguyinthewholeworldheissohotyouknowhe'slikesowonder fulandhotandcoolhe's likeohmygodhe'ssohot."

Stan, Xev and Kai turned their heads so that she would not see them laughing. Tia did not have that privilege as the girl was looking right at her. Her eyes went to slits as she tried very hard to suppress the need to fall on the ground laughing. Her jaw moved back and forth as she tried to think of something else. She tried to keep the laughter out of her voice as she asked, "Wh..who would t..that be?"

"He's the guy who lives in that tower. He is our prince."

"Oh, ok"

Tia turned away from her now to burst out laughing. Xev and her doubled over while Stan tried to see what this guy looked like.

The man in the middle of the group seemed to be the attraction. He smiled big and waved at all the people. Women were actually fainting as he passed by. Stan couldn't see what was the big deal. He was handsome, but certainly nothing special. The others joined him and the girls also thought that he wasn't really anything special. He saw them and immediately walked towards them.

"Well, hello. I see we have visitors. And beautiful ones at that."

He kissed all the girl's hands and shook Kai's and Stan's. The women in the crowd screamed when he kissed the girl's hands. Stanley introduced them all.

"Nice to meet all of you. I am Penn. As visitors to our great town I would like to invite you to my table tonight. All of you."

They all looked at each other and nodded. "Sure." Xev told him.

"Glorious. Follow me please."

They could hear the women in the crowd as they passed by. "They are so lucky. Only special people get asked to dine with him. Those women are so lucky."

They followed behind the men for about a mile towards the great building. Kai and Xev were holding hands, and Lyekka wouldn't keep her hands off Stan. Tia walked along side Xev.

When they got to the building they noticed it was tall and narrow. It was so tall, in fact, that it reached the clouds.

Kai leaned over to Xev and Tia as Stan pulled up behind them. He spoke as to only be heard by those five people. "Do you think perhaps he's compensating for something?"

They were all instantly glad they were not drinking something at that moment as they all almost died. Well, except for Lyekka, who, of course, didn't get the joke.

Kai turned now to Xev, "I do not need to eat, so I will explore the town, if that is ok with you."

Xev nodded, "We can take care of ourselves."

They kissed and Kai walked off.

Stan looked at Tia, "Since he's gone, you gotta stick with me. I need somebody as a bodyguard."

"Whatever Stan."

They were all escorted inside and sat down at a table made for ten people; two on the ends and four on each side. They sat Tia, Xev, Stan and then Lyekka.

"What would you like to drink?"

Stan spoke, "I'll take whatever you got, and Lyekka will have water."

"Thank you Stanley."

Stan smiled at her.

Tia and Xev both said they would have whatever also. They were all brought their drinks.

Penn stood up, "Let me propose a toast, to new friends."

They all raised their glasses and drank. Lyekka, getting the idea, drained her glass.

They all put their glasses down and Stan, Tia, Xev and Lyekka immediately fell over, asleep.

Penn's smile disappeared. He addressed his men, "You know what to do. Gold, Red, Tan."

He said the colors while pointing at each of the girls in order: Tia, Xev, Lyekka.







Xev awoke with a start. She immediately noticed she was not anywhere she remembered. She was in a large room with walls that looked like they had pillars in them. It was all white marble. The floor was also marble with a hot tub in the middle. She was not alone. Besides her, there were ten other women in there, including Tia and Lyekka. They were all dressed similarly in different colors. Lyekka was in a dress that was obviously silk. It was knee length and was off the shoulder. She had light tan eyeshadow and lipstick on. The dress was also tan. Her hair was dyed the same color as her dress. Tia was dressed in gold. Her hair was much shorter and also gold. Her dress had spaghetti straps and was slit on one side. Her make-up was just like Lyekka's except for the color. They were both still asleep.

Only then did Xev notice how she was dressed. Her color was apparently red. Her dress was shorter with slits on both sides. The top was (I can't think of how else to say it) Kimono like, with no sleeves. Her hair had gone untouched. She shook off the last effects of her drugged sleep and went over to Tia. She shook her awake.

"Where are we?"

"I don't know, but we are dressed different."

Tia looked down at herself and tried to make her sleepy eyes work.

"You are in Penn's harem."

Tia and Xev turned their heads to a woman who had come up to them.

"What?"

"You are in Penn's harem."

Xev asked, "Why?"

"Because you have been chosen."

They waited for more but this woman apparently wasn't used to explaining. "Fine, How do we get out of here?"

"Why would you want to leave?"

"Because we do. Now, how do we get out of here?"

"You don't."

Lyekka chose that moment to awake. "Stanley? Where's Stanley?"

"He's not here. In fact no one seems to know where here is."

"You are…"

Tia and Xev both interrupted her, "WE KNOW!"

Tia got up, "Fine if you won't tell me the way out, I will make my own."

Tia walked over to the door and pounded on it. It was opened moments later by an enormous man. "Do you need something?"

"Yes, I need you to get out of my way."

"Where are you going?"

"My friends and I are leaving."

"I do not think so."

Tia raised her eyebrows, "Oh really? Look pal, I don't know wha…"

Tia was interrupted by an electric shock throwing her back five feet. The guard had a stun gun in his hand. He shut the door and locked it without a word.

Xev ran over to her, "Are you OK?"

"Yeah… just a little fried crispy style that's all."

"I guess we can't get out that way."



Tia was still in the hot tub hours later, trying to heal. The skin on the entrance and exit wounds was slowly pealing off. Xev was trying to make conversation.

"I thought you said your hair was permanent."

"It will be back to exactly the same as it was before in a couple of days."

"Oh, ok."

Tia noticed a sadness in Xev's voice, "We are going to get out of here Xev."

"I know, I just miss Kai."

"It will be all right, I promise."



Stan awoke with a start. He immediately noticed he was not anywhere he remembered. It seemed to be an alley, but where that alley was he didn't know. He got up and walked into the street. There were people all around. He finally recognized the bartender from the tavern they were at.

"Hey guy."

"Hey, Stan right?"

"Yeah, where am I?"

"I didn't think you had that much to drink Stan."

"I didn't. The last thing I remember was drinking something at that Penn guy's place. It tasted funny."

"Well, you're a long way from there Stan."

"Can you take me back there?"

"Sure."

Stan and the bartender walked for over an hour when they finally caught sight of the building. Stan was about to say something to the bartender when he saw Kai running towards him.

"Where have you been?"

"I really don't know."

"Where are the girls?"

"Last time I saw them was at that guy's house. We all drank this funny stuff and that's the last thing I remember."

"I went back to the castle and they told me you had left hours ago."

"That's possible, I don't know how long I was sleeping in that alley."

Stan said thanks to the bartender and Kai and Stan walked towards the castle.

"Kai, are you ok?"

"Yes, anger is not an emotion I can experience very strongly, but I would say I'm furious."

"Oh…"

When they reached the castle they were stopped by a guard, "Can I help you?"

Kai lifted his brace to the man's throat, "No." He dropped his arm and pushed past the guard. Six more guards appeared immediately. Stan grabbed Kai's shoulder, "Kai, I have an idea."

Kai and Stan backed off to outside the gate. They walked along the fence.

"They must have pipes or something under this thing. How else could they have gotten me across the town without anyone noticing?"

"How do you suggest we find it?"

"It shouldn't be that hard."

Just after finishing that statement they rounded the corner and Stan almost tripped over a huge cement pipe. He looked up at Kai and smiled. Kai preceded him into the pipe.



"You will all line up and present yourselves for selection!"

All the girls did so except for Tia, Xev and Lyekka. A small window opened near the ceiling and Penn could be seen through it.

He laughed when he saw them. "Spirited ones I see. Very well, I'm up for a challenge. Gold, Red and Tan, in that order."

"Yes sir." Him man said and all three girls felt a dart hit them in their backs before passing out again.



"We need to split up. You look for Tia. She can help you find Lyekka."

"That's not such a good idea Kai."

"Why not?"

"Because I can't do anything right."

Kai smiled at Stan and put a hand on his shoulder, "You have saved us all more than once Stan. I believe you can do it again."

"Ok, I'll try."





When Tia awoke this time she was in a bedroom. The bed was all black with silk sheets. It was dim in the room, as it was all lit by candlelight. There was wine of some sort chilled by the bed. She was lying on the bed, thankfully fully clothed. Tia rolled her eyes, as she knew this was supposed to be romantic. She had been kidnapped, not swept off her feet. The door then opened and Penn walked in. His shirt was half-undone and he had a stupid smile on his face. Tia was not impressed.

"So, how's my little passionate one?"

Tia didn't say a word.

"Shy, huh. Well we will have to remedy that."

He walked towards her and just as he almost got to her she tried to get him across the chest with her talons

He pulled back just in time, "Wow, your fast, but not fast enough. I was hoping I wouldn't have to do this."

He went over to his dresser and pulled a syringe out of the top drawer. "This will go one of two ways. You will lay there and be a good girl, or you will get this. It's a drug made by my people. It has three stages. The first is unimaginable pain. The second is an incredible need for penetration. The third is an entire loss of inhibitions. I don't like to use the drug, but I will if that's what it takes to break you."

Tia let out a snarl. Penn moved towards her. When he got to her she grabbed his testicles and twisted them so that his ear was right by her face. "This will go one of two ways. You will release me and my companions, or you can say goodbye to your two best friends!"

Stan burst in the room, "I'm here to save…you. Well, I see my hurrying was in vain."

"Stan, how did you get in here?"

"Wasn't easy."

"Great!" She let go of Penn and he collapsed in a heap. "Let's go."

They started to walk away but stopped when Tia grabbed her thigh in pain. Penn had thrown the syringe and it had injected itself. Stan got Tia out of the room and then slammed the door.

"What was in that?"

Tia told him about the drug, "We have to get back to the Lexx."

She doubled over as the first wave of pain hit her. Stan got her on her feet again and started to take her out of the building.



"Wake up, Xev."

Xev felt a hand on her face and immediately knew who it was. "Kai?"

"Yes."

She opened her eyes and there he was, smiling at her. "Oh, Kai, you came for me."

"Did you ever doubt that?"

"No, not really."

Xev was in an identical room to the one that Tia was in.

"Can we get out of here now?"

"I was hoping we could wait a little."

"Why?"

"I want to meet this Penn."

Xev was concerned, "Kai, please, can we just go."

Kai was noticeably disappointed, "Anything you want."

He picked her up and carried her to the exit.



"Stan, I can't stand this pain. I need to rest."

"The sooner we get to the Lexx, the sooner 790 can fix this."

Stan had been half carrying Tia down the same pipe that he and Kai had traveled in. Suddenly, he was given all her weight when she fainted. He put her down and tried to wake her. When she did she looked different.

"Are you ok?"

"Yes."

"How's the pain?"

"It's the same, just lower."

"Stage two already?"

"It would seem so."

"We have to hurry."

Stan propped her up again and she half walked with a limp as they tried to carry on.



Penn had gotten out of the first room finally and had already been to an empty second. He was now horny beyond belief. He opened the door to the third room and saw the third girl already awake.

"Hi."

"What did you do with Stanley?"

"Nothing my sweet."

"What did you do with the others?"

"None of that matters. Lay down!"

"I don't like you."

That was the last thing he ever heard.



Stan finally got Tia to the moth and was loading her in when she collapsed again. He was about to help her when a recognizable voice came up from behind.

"Where's Lyekka?"

Stan turned around to see Kai and Xev walking towards him. "That Penn guy injected Tia with something. We have to get her back to the Lexx."

"With what?"

Stan told them about the drug. Tia woke up.

"Hi Stan. How are you doing?"

"Fine."

"Wanna know what I'd rather be doing?"

Tia ran her hand down the front of Stan's uniform. He stopped her before she got to her target, "Whoa, Tia time out."

Kai stepped forward. "Stan, take Tia and Xev back to the Lexx. I will go find Lyekka."

"Hi Stanley."

They all turned to see Lyekka coming out of the pipe.

"Lyekka, are you ok?"

"Yes Stanley, but I'm really full."

Xev interrupted the reunion, "Let's get out of here and fix Tia.



Tia was all over Stan and Kai on the way back. They had to fight to even keep her in her scant clothing.

Kai and Xev set up the protein regenerator while Stan tried to keep Tia off him.

"Come on Stanley, I'll still feel the same way."

"No you won't, that's the thing."

"Bring her over here Stan."

Stan did that and handed Tia to Xev.

"Perhaps you should leave to decrease her ferocity."

"Good idea."

Stan left the bridge, followed by Lyekka.

Kai was busy setting up the protein regenerator when Xev said, "Uh, Kai?"

"What?"

He turned around and Tia had Xev pressed against the wall. Xev was trying not to move so that her libido wouldn't kick in. Tia was kissing her neck and pulling her closer.

Kai watched for a second, "Is it wrong for me to find that incredibly arousing?"

Xev said through clenched teeth, "Yes!"

Kai got up and peeled Tia off of Xev and hooked her up to the machine. After a few moments of trying like hell to get Kai's pants off she finally stopped and sat back.

She had a blank look on her face, "EWWWWWW!"

Kai and Xev both smiled.