pcenterPeanut Butter and Jelly /center
pIt was just one of those summer nights in July of 1969.
Jaybo had just kissed the picture of his last love before returning to bed with his new boytoy, Bob.
Could Jaybo sleep with Bob, still knowing and still feeling something for Kit?
The next morning, Jaybo awoke feeling groggy and confused.
"I wonder what I should fix for breakfast." Jaybo said to himself.
In the pantry he found, Rice Crispies, Cap'N Crunch, and Frosted Flakes.
"I need a change." Cried Jaybo.
He got out a map of the United States, closed his eyes, and put his finger on a space of the state for which he would go.
He glanced at the map. "Burbank! I've always wanted to go there! Screw Bob! Wait! I already did!"
pHe hopped the first flight out of Florida and went to Wisconsin. Coincidently, Kit was sitting right behind Jaybo.
Jaybo sniffed the air and looked around. He finally saw Kit in the seat behind him.
br"I knew it was you, Kit! I could smell that God awful cologne of yours a mile away." Jaybo cried.
br"What are you doing here, Jaybo? Stalking me? I swear, you are so obsessed with me!" Kit said angrily.
br"I can't, I mean..forget it! I'm not sinking to your level of immaturity." Jaybo replied.
br"You're calling me immature, Miss 'I have to do everything my mommmy tells me to' jaybo!" Kit said.
br"Just...shut up!" Jaybo cried.
br"I'll tell you what. I wouldn't talk to you the rest of the trip and you don't talk to me, okay?" Demanded Kit.
br"Fine with me." Jaybo replied while crossing his arms.
pThe plane finally landed at the Los Angeles Airport.
Jaybo and Kit got off the plane and went in separate directions.
pJaybo was getting a little hungry so he stopped off at Cowboy Bill's for a burger.
Inside the restaurant, he was greeted by Lenny and Squiggy dressed as nuns.
brSquiggy said, "Hell-o."
br"Sister." Jaybo replied. "I'm not your sister." Squiggy confirmed.
pJaybo shrugged and sat down at a table.
Laverne and Shirley entered the restaurant yelling at each other.
They sat at the table in front of him and argued about the new guy working at Bardwell's.
p"Laverne, I saw him first. He thought I was cute." Shirley said.
br"Yeah, but he winked at me." Laverne replied with a grin.
br"I don't know what it is with you, Laverne! Everytime a guy likes me, you get jealous!" Shirley screamed.
br"I do not! You're the one who likes to play games with men!" Laverne said.
pJaybo heard their ridiculous cries and turned his chair around.
p"Oh, you have no idea. My guy is just as bad." Jaybo responded.
br"Excuse me?" Laverne said in a state of confusion.
br"Oh nothing. I don't want to discuss it." Said Jaybo.
br"Okay." Laverne replied before continuing to talk to Shirley.
br"It's my ex-boyfriend Kit. We broke up a month ago and now he thinks I'm following him around." Jaybo cried.
pLaverne looked at Shirley and said, "This guy is, uh..."
br"Yeah Laverne, I caught that." Shirley said.
br"Well, we are heading into the seventies, Shirl." Replied Laverne.
br"But this guy is..." Shirley cried.
br"He's a fruit cup." Laverne said.
brShirley smiled and said, "Who am I to judge what.."
brShirley stopped, looked at Laverne and continued, "Laverne, this man is scaring me."
br"How can he scare you, Shirl. It's not like his guy friend is in the same..."
brJaybo nodded and said, "He's here in Burbank. He sat behind me on the plane."
pJust then, Kit entered Cowboy Bill's with another man on his arm.
He sat near Jaybo's table. He noticed Kit with the other fella and gasped.
p"I don't believe it. It took him long enough to find someone else." Jaybo continued.
br"You know, I'd love to stay and chat, but I think I left Boo Boo Kitty near a window. Come on, Laverne." Shirley said tugging on Laverne's shirt.
br"Wait a minute, Shirl." Laverne snapped.
pKit got up from his table and headed towards the jukebox.
While passing his table, Jaybo said, "Look who's stalking now."
p"Leave me alone, Jay-ho." Kit demanded.
br"Who are you calling a ho, bitch?" Jaybo asked.
pThey both began to argue and fight.
Frank DeFazio came from the kitchen to stop it.
p"Get outta my restaurant if you're gonna fight!" Frank yelled.
brKit looked at Jaybo and said, "I don't want you anywhere near me, you here?"
br"I'm not the one following you around." Jaybo said.
br"Just go away. You're annoying." Kit rambled.
br"Hey buddy, I think you should shut up or leave." Laverne said defending Jaybo.
br"And I think you should mind your own buisness." Kit said as he walked to the jukebox.
br"What a jerk. You should try dating women. Men are rats." Laverne explained.
br"Are you two dating?" Jaybo asked.
br"Are you asking us out?" Laverne replied.
br"No, I mean, are you two girlfriend and girlfriend." Jaybo said.
br"No, we date men. Not women." Laverne confirmed.
br"Oh. I must have missed something then. You said that men are rats, yet you date them. Why shouldn't I date men?" Wondered Jaybo.
br"Shirl, if ever we needed a Shirley Feeney pick me up, now is the time." Laverne suggested.
brShirley nodded and said, "Oh yes. You see Jaybo, life is has many combinations, such as, Peanut butter and Jelly.
In your case, peanut butter being the guy and jelly being the girl. If I remember correctly, no one I've known has ever made a peanut butter and peanut sandwich.
You see what I'm saying?"
br"No, but you're making me hungry." Jaybo replied.
br"Um, let me try another combinaton..." Shirley thought aloud.
br"Milk and Pepsi!" Laverne added.
br"Laverne! No one likes milk and Pepsi." Shirley proclaimed.
br"I understand what you two are getting at and maybe you're right. I should date women. Besides, I like jelly." Jaybo said.
br"Yeah. Peanut butter can get stuck to the roof of your mouth." Laverne said.
br"That is so true. Kit is definately peanut butter." Jaybo replied.
pIn that instant, Rhonda entered Cowboy Bill's and walked over to the girl's table.
p"Rhonda, is in a jam and was wondering if you knew anyone who wanted to attend a Hollywood Gala with me." Rhonda said.
brJaybo replied, "Who's Rhonda?"
br"Me silly." Rhonda answered.
brLaverne added, "And I know just the man too."
br"Who?" Asked Rhonda.
br"Rhonda, meet Jaybo. Jaybo, this is Rhonda Lee." Laverne said, introducing the two.
br"Well, I guess it will be okay. He iis/i kinda cute." Rhonda said, smiling.
brLaverne said, "Great."
br"Rhonda must be on her way now. I'll see you tonight at eigth o'clock sharp." Rhonda continued, playing with is shirt.
pRhonda exited Cowboy Bill's and Laverne and Shirley sat back down at their table.
br"Thanks girls. I don't need a man when I can have ithat./i My God, she sings to me." Jaybo said.
br"I'm happy for you, Jaybo. You see, a sandwich is better with peanut butter and jelly." Shirley replied.
br"You can say that again." Jaybo added, before leaving Cowboy Bill's.
pKit left Cowboy Bill's and moved to Mexico with his new man, Kip. Jaybo dated many other girls after Rhonda and is now living in San Francisco with his wife, Kirsten.
pcenterThe End/center
pIt was just one of those summer nights in July of 1969.
Jaybo had just kissed the picture of his last love before returning to bed with his new boytoy, Bob.
Could Jaybo sleep with Bob, still knowing and still feeling something for Kit?
The next morning, Jaybo awoke feeling groggy and confused.
"I wonder what I should fix for breakfast." Jaybo said to himself.
In the pantry he found, Rice Crispies, Cap'N Crunch, and Frosted Flakes.
"I need a change." Cried Jaybo.
He got out a map of the United States, closed his eyes, and put his finger on a space of the state for which he would go.
He glanced at the map. "Burbank! I've always wanted to go there! Screw Bob! Wait! I already did!"
pHe hopped the first flight out of Florida and went to Wisconsin. Coincidently, Kit was sitting right behind Jaybo.
Jaybo sniffed the air and looked around. He finally saw Kit in the seat behind him.
br"I knew it was you, Kit! I could smell that God awful cologne of yours a mile away." Jaybo cried.
br"What are you doing here, Jaybo? Stalking me? I swear, you are so obsessed with me!" Kit said angrily.
br"I can't, I mean..forget it! I'm not sinking to your level of immaturity." Jaybo replied.
br"You're calling me immature, Miss 'I have to do everything my mommmy tells me to' jaybo!" Kit said.
br"Just...shut up!" Jaybo cried.
br"I'll tell you what. I wouldn't talk to you the rest of the trip and you don't talk to me, okay?" Demanded Kit.
br"Fine with me." Jaybo replied while crossing his arms.
pThe plane finally landed at the Los Angeles Airport.
Jaybo and Kit got off the plane and went in separate directions.
pJaybo was getting a little hungry so he stopped off at Cowboy Bill's for a burger.
Inside the restaurant, he was greeted by Lenny and Squiggy dressed as nuns.
brSquiggy said, "Hell-o."
br"Sister." Jaybo replied. "I'm not your sister." Squiggy confirmed.
pJaybo shrugged and sat down at a table.
Laverne and Shirley entered the restaurant yelling at each other.
They sat at the table in front of him and argued about the new guy working at Bardwell's.
p"Laverne, I saw him first. He thought I was cute." Shirley said.
br"Yeah, but he winked at me." Laverne replied with a grin.
br"I don't know what it is with you, Laverne! Everytime a guy likes me, you get jealous!" Shirley screamed.
br"I do not! You're the one who likes to play games with men!" Laverne said.
pJaybo heard their ridiculous cries and turned his chair around.
p"Oh, you have no idea. My guy is just as bad." Jaybo responded.
br"Excuse me?" Laverne said in a state of confusion.
br"Oh nothing. I don't want to discuss it." Said Jaybo.
br"Okay." Laverne replied before continuing to talk to Shirley.
br"It's my ex-boyfriend Kit. We broke up a month ago and now he thinks I'm following him around." Jaybo cried.
pLaverne looked at Shirley and said, "This guy is, uh..."
br"Yeah Laverne, I caught that." Shirley said.
br"Well, we are heading into the seventies, Shirl." Replied Laverne.
br"But this guy is..." Shirley cried.
br"He's a fruit cup." Laverne said.
brShirley smiled and said, "Who am I to judge what.."
brShirley stopped, looked at Laverne and continued, "Laverne, this man is scaring me."
br"How can he scare you, Shirl. It's not like his guy friend is in the same..."
brJaybo nodded and said, "He's here in Burbank. He sat behind me on the plane."
pJust then, Kit entered Cowboy Bill's with another man on his arm.
He sat near Jaybo's table. He noticed Kit with the other fella and gasped.
p"I don't believe it. It took him long enough to find someone else." Jaybo continued.
br"You know, I'd love to stay and chat, but I think I left Boo Boo Kitty near a window. Come on, Laverne." Shirley said tugging on Laverne's shirt.
br"Wait a minute, Shirl." Laverne snapped.
pKit got up from his table and headed towards the jukebox.
While passing his table, Jaybo said, "Look who's stalking now."
p"Leave me alone, Jay-ho." Kit demanded.
br"Who are you calling a ho, bitch?" Jaybo asked.
pThey both began to argue and fight.
Frank DeFazio came from the kitchen to stop it.
p"Get outta my restaurant if you're gonna fight!" Frank yelled.
brKit looked at Jaybo and said, "I don't want you anywhere near me, you here?"
br"I'm not the one following you around." Jaybo said.
br"Just go away. You're annoying." Kit rambled.
br"Hey buddy, I think you should shut up or leave." Laverne said defending Jaybo.
br"And I think you should mind your own buisness." Kit said as he walked to the jukebox.
br"What a jerk. You should try dating women. Men are rats." Laverne explained.
br"Are you two dating?" Jaybo asked.
br"Are you asking us out?" Laverne replied.
br"No, I mean, are you two girlfriend and girlfriend." Jaybo said.
br"No, we date men. Not women." Laverne confirmed.
br"Oh. I must have missed something then. You said that men are rats, yet you date them. Why shouldn't I date men?" Wondered Jaybo.
br"Shirl, if ever we needed a Shirley Feeney pick me up, now is the time." Laverne suggested.
brShirley nodded and said, "Oh yes. You see Jaybo, life is has many combinations, such as, Peanut butter and Jelly.
In your case, peanut butter being the guy and jelly being the girl. If I remember correctly, no one I've known has ever made a peanut butter and peanut sandwich.
You see what I'm saying?"
br"No, but you're making me hungry." Jaybo replied.
br"Um, let me try another combinaton..." Shirley thought aloud.
br"Milk and Pepsi!" Laverne added.
br"Laverne! No one likes milk and Pepsi." Shirley proclaimed.
br"I understand what you two are getting at and maybe you're right. I should date women. Besides, I like jelly." Jaybo said.
br"Yeah. Peanut butter can get stuck to the roof of your mouth." Laverne said.
br"That is so true. Kit is definately peanut butter." Jaybo replied.
pIn that instant, Rhonda entered Cowboy Bill's and walked over to the girl's table.
p"Rhonda, is in a jam and was wondering if you knew anyone who wanted to attend a Hollywood Gala with me." Rhonda said.
brJaybo replied, "Who's Rhonda?"
br"Me silly." Rhonda answered.
brLaverne added, "And I know just the man too."
br"Who?" Asked Rhonda.
br"Rhonda, meet Jaybo. Jaybo, this is Rhonda Lee." Laverne said, introducing the two.
br"Well, I guess it will be okay. He iis/i kinda cute." Rhonda said, smiling.
brLaverne said, "Great."
br"Rhonda must be on her way now. I'll see you tonight at eigth o'clock sharp." Rhonda continued, playing with is shirt.
pRhonda exited Cowboy Bill's and Laverne and Shirley sat back down at their table.
br"Thanks girls. I don't need a man when I can have ithat./i My God, she sings to me." Jaybo said.
br"I'm happy for you, Jaybo. You see, a sandwich is better with peanut butter and jelly." Shirley replied.
br"You can say that again." Jaybo added, before leaving Cowboy Bill's.
pKit left Cowboy Bill's and moved to Mexico with his new man, Kip. Jaybo dated many other girls after Rhonda and is now living in San Francisco with his wife, Kirsten.
pcenterThe End/center