My Escape

By TheDarkAngelLilith

Ron is going through a tough time Hermione just wants to help but she is not prepared for what he has to tell her.

It was senseless, he didn't even know her. His brother had died and he was more devastated by the death of this random girl than he was about losing his own blood. It didn't make sense but he couldn't help the way he felt.

"Ron? Are you alright?" Hermione asked in a soft voice.

"What- yeah, I'm alright," he sighed.

"Don't lie to me," Hermione frowned as she sat next to him. She was hesitant, their relationship seemed to be teetering on the edge of friends who constantly bickered and lovers. The emotion was definitely there it had been for some time and she'd fought with it feebly. The question was if Ron truly shared all the emotions she had and if so could a relationship between the two of them survive.

"I'm just tired," Ron shook his head.

Hermione sighed and placed a hand on his shoulder "I'm here if you need to talk to someone."

He just nodded and stared off into the distance. He refused to look at her she'd never seen him this way. Frankly it was frightening her he'd seemed fine the night before but since breakfast that morning he hadn't been himself. Without that dopey grin he seemed almost lifeless his red hair almost seemed duller. His eyes were void of their usual emotion now they were just blue pits. It almost brought tears to her eyes. Maybe it was just Fred's death sinking in but she felt there was more.

"I just want to help you," she pleaded with him.

"You don't want to know Hermione!" Ron snapped turning on her faster than she could react.

Hermione jumped back feeling a sharp pang ripple through her chest "Yes I do, if it's upsetting you this much then of course I want to know."

"You don't get it, you can't help me! Not with this," he shouted.

She flinched at his tone. They'd yelled at each other before but for some reason the kiss they had shared the night before made it hurt worse.

"Let me try," she pleaded tears brimming her brown eyes.

"You're not listening! Are you deaf? You don't want to know!" Ron repeated.

"Don't talk to me like that!" she hissed "Don't take whatever it is you're feeling out on me when I'm worried about you! I want to help you because I care about you and seeing you like this scares me! Now tell me what happened or at least tell me why I don't want to know."

Ron stared at his shoes and Hermione could tell he felt guilty for raising his voice at her.

"You wouldn't care so much if you knew what I've done," he whispered.

"What, of course I would, I'll always care about you," Hermione protested

"No you wouldn't, somethings are just too awful to be forgiven," Ron replied.

"What can I do to prove it to you? Nothing you could do could ever make me stop caring about you. We've been friends since our first year and now.. now I love you." Her voice broke on the last words.

He rounded on her once again "I'm a murderer Hermione! You don't want to love me, I don't deserve it."

Hermione just stared at him with wide eyes shocked into a petrified state. Ron looked away from her blinking back tears

"What, no- no you're not," Hermione stammered "Ron if you- killed- someone it was self defense. I think the majority of us were responsible for taking the life of a death eater last night."

It scared her to admit it but Hermione was fairly certain she had taken someone's life the night before. She could feel it she knew now that it was true that the act of killing tore your soul. Even if she knew it was necessary, that it came down to the life of a death eater, her own or an innocent she still couldn't cope with it.

"You still don't get it!" he exclaimed still refusing to look her in the eye.

"Then explain it to me Love, Please," her tears were flowing freely now.

He couldn't speak the words. He couldn't bear to see the look of disgust and betrayal he knew she would give him if she knew. But if she was so determined to love him despite of his sins then she needed to know the brutal truth.

"I was duelling with Dolohov when I saw one of the Carrows closing in on a first year. I have no clue how she managed to stay behind but I knew she didn't stand a chance. I sent a curse in their direction, that sectumsempra curse that Harry showed us. It missed by inches and hit the girl instead. I didn't see what happened to her I just hoped that she was found and brought to the hospital wing. But this morning I saw her- with the rest- the rest of the- bodies. She was a first year Hermione just a kid and I- I- she's gone now and it's my fault." He put his head in his hands and a tear slipped through his fingers. There was something about speaking the words that made the ugly truth even more unbearable. He felt worthless, he didn't deserve to be loved by anyone let alone someone as pure and whole as Hermione.

Hermione didn't know how to respond she couldn't believe what she was hearing or what Ron was thinking.

"Please, just go," Ron whispered.

"Ron, it's not your fault," Hermione said feeling fresh tears at his distress.

"Don't try to defend me," Ron shook his head, he sounded almost angry.

She didn't let his tone faze her. She slid closer to him and placed a comforting hand on his back "I'm not. It's not your fault Love, it's not. You aren't even sure if it was your curse that killed her it could just as easily been a death eater that finished her off after you left. Even if it was the curse that killed her it was an accident. Ron you would never mean to take an innocent person's life I know that. You were just trying to help no one can blame you for that."

"But I didn't help, I should have stayed behind with her, made sure she was alright and took her to the hospital wing. She could've lived but I panicked and she died," Ron replied.

"You can't blame yourself Ron and you can't dwell on it like this. The guilt will drive you mad, you have to forgive yourself." Hermione told him, she slid closer until she was flush against his side.

"How do I do that?" Ron questioned "Not dwell and forgive myself?"

"I'll help you," she whispered pain in her voice. She couldn't stand seeing him like this.

"And how are you going to do that?" He asked feeling doubtful.

Hermione thought for a second, she wasn't sure of the answer to that question. All she knew is she wanted to help him desperately. Even though she didn't know the mental aspects of this situation she knew she would always be there for him. In the mean time she would distract him if possible.

Hermione hooked a delicate finger under his jaw and made him look at her. The look in his eyes was unbearable. They stared into each other's eyes for what could've been seconds or hours until they felt their souls touch. She tilted her head to meet his lips. Unlike their first kiss this one was gentle and slow but just as full of emotion. This had only been the second time they'd kissed and the feeling mutual they both wanted there to be many, many more times after this. They pulled away and she felt his mouth slip reluctantly from her bottom lip.

"I love you too," Ron murmured, in that moment he started to forget.

Hermione smiled as she felt a feeling like joy and relief flood her senses. She'd fancied him for years although reluctant to admit it. She didn't realize until recently that the feeling she felt towards him was love. He went through the same thing he spent years fighting his feelings for her though sometimes she drove him crazy and vice versa he loved her all the same.

Ron knew he was being selfish. He knew that no matter what she said he was still responsible for that poor girl's death. But every time she touched him or kissed him it made the pain fade and the sensation was addicting. He ran his hand through her hair cupping the back of her neck and brought her lips to his again. Hermione responded in tender enthusiasm curling an arm around his shoulder and running the other over his chest. She could feel his muscles not too pronounced but he wasn't scrawny like he used to be. He pulled her so close and held her with such desperation that it was almost painful but she didn't care. She knew he needed this and honestly she did too. The war was over but the aftermath was far from. In this hard time they would be each other's confidant someone to lean on no matter what. Someone to find a blissful oblivion with if necessary. Someone to escape from the tragedies of life with. They would worry about the details later because in that moment they were just too far gone.

"I swear somebody put a permanent sticking charm on them," someone said from behind them. It sounded like they were speaking through a door even though they were only feet away.

Hermione pulled back reluctantly and slightly winded, to see Harry with Ginny tucked under his arm. He just shook his head at the two of them where as Ginny wore a look between shock, amusement and disgust.

"Bloody hypocrite," Ginny muttered.

"Just drop it," Harry told her kindly, laying his head on hers.

She huffed but stayed quiet trying not to smile at the affection Harry gave her.

"You're one to talk," Ron objected.

"Honestly the two of you," Hermione laughed.

"Well the next time you see me snogging someone you can keep your opinions well enough to yourself," Ginny replied.

"Someone?" Harry questioned with a sly smile.

Ginny rolled her eyes "I meant you,"

"I would hope so," Harry laughed.

"You two can leave now," Ron sighed.

"Its public property, you two go get a room," Ginny retorted.

"Maybe we will," Ron stated.

He took Hermione's hand and pulled her to her feet with him. They set off to the castle to find a place where they could be alone, another sweet escape…