Forget-Ples
A/N: …Hello everyone…again.
I'm sure you're quite surprised that I'm actually posting something again. Well, so am I.
Do I really have a GOOD reason for still not having finished "Ace Of Spades"? Not really.
Do I have a SUPERB reason for STILL not having STARTED Chapter 6 of "Worlds Collide"? Nope.
All I can say is, I wish I didn't miss my chance. This semester looks like it's going to drag me through a lot, and I'm not very good at time management to begin with, but even if it takes me exponentially longer than it should, please believe me when I say I have NOT ABADONED ANY of my stories.
I really wish I hadn't gone on such an unintended long-ass hiatus, but since I have, I just hope all of my followers/readers can forgive me.
Anyhoo, it's 11:04 P.M. on 9/14/16 when I started typing this, and I have to say, "Member-Berries" was a very fine way of starting things off. Season 19 was spectacular, but I can already tell that Season 20 is going to be AWESOME!
Remember last year when I wrote a one-shot for every episode of Season 19? Well, I plan on doing that again :)
Oh and the title is supposed to be a portmanteau of "Forgetful" and "Apples"
And, as I'm sure you all already know, I don't own anything South Park related, and this one-shot is not part of my RFSP series.
Enjoy!
"The one time it wasn't me…."
This was the simple, yet at the same time complex, thought that was running through the mind of Eric Theodore Cartman.
"The one time where I'm actually not starting a ruckus…that stupid Jew still thinks it's me. I suppose that's to be expected at this point. But who's to say that skankhunt42 won't get me involved later?"
Cartman rolled over in his bed, trying to figure out his next move.
"And Token never even noticed my 'Token's Life Matters' shirt…that black asshole."
Cartman began to reflect on what the town had been through in the past year…and didn't come with as much as he thought he would.
"We destroyed the ads…and everything's been a little too quiet since…I feel as if something new has begun…."
Cartman definitely felt like something was about to happen…something newly incredible and epic…a new story that would put their new and improved town on trial once more…a trial that he figured would be rub by the entity known only by the pseudonym skankhunt42.
Cartman figured he couldn't do anything for now, but he decided to one last thing before falling asleep.
"That piece of shit…no not Cartman-well both I suppose, assuming Cartman is this Skankhunt42 dickhead."
Kyle Broflovski laid awake in bed, deep in thought about who the mysterious Internet troll could be. He was finding it extremely difficult to sleep, so he had snuck downstairs, careful not to wake anyone up, to try and get a quick midnight snack out of the kitchen. The snack itself was, of course, the new fruit that had gained somewhat of a cult following across South Park: The talkative fruit known as member-berries.
Kyle opened the refrigerator and picked up a bunch of the talking grapes. The grapes themselves seemed a little groggy and slow to respond, most likely due to having been refrigerated. Kyle found that to be a good thing, as waking his mother up at 11:30 at night was the last thing he needed to happen to them.
But just as he was about to eat one of them, one of the grapes started to talk, but only in a slight whisper as it was just waking up from its refrigerated state.
"Re-re-remember…when things…were different?"
Kyle paused. "Pardon me?" he asked the talking grape.
The grape began to speak more fluently as the refrigeration effects began to wear off more and more.
"Remember when…gaming wasn't such an…expensive hobby?"
"You got THAT one right." Kyle replied as he popped the talking grape into his mouth. Kyle took delight in its taste and decided to eat a few more. Kyle had previously heard that, supposedly, member-berries were a good aid for sleep.
"Remember when…Terrance and Phillip episodes still felt fresh and new, instead of…just the same plot over and over again with only subtle changes?"
Kyle sighed out of nostalgia. "Season 12 of Terrance and Phillip was such a disappointment. Not only that, but the fact that a lemon-flavored fart was the secret ingredient for Phillip's stink bomb turned out to be SO very anti-climactic! Worst plot finish ever!"
Now a few more of the sentient fruits began to speak in unison about different topics that, strangely enough, seemed to all pertain to Kyle in some way or another.
"Remember…when nobody criticized games upon the first trailer?"
"Remember…how games used to have actual pre-programmed cheat codes?"
"Remember…when comedy was still respected by the Internet?"
"Yes, yes, and absolutely." Kyle responded to each nostalgic question. Having felt a bit of drowsiness, Kyle began to put the grapes away, but one last question caught his attention.
"Remember…how people could still be trusted?"
"What?" Kyle asked, not knowing how else to react to such a strange question.
"You certainly remember…don't you?" the grape continued. "She deceived you…she deceived you all…but she played the trust card with you…."
"Who are you talking about?" Kyle wondered aloud before figuring it out. "Wait…you mean…Leslie?"
"Precisssely…."The grape slithered the word off of its tounge.
Kyle arched his eyebrows and quickly ate the grape before it could utter another syllable. Leslie had certainly played him for a fool, and he didn't want to be reminded of it. It was bad enough Cartman hadn't stopped talking about it for a solid month, and he wasn't going to take any verbal shit from a talking grape of all things.
Kyle placed the bunch of grapes back in the refrigerator and headed back upstairs to his room. He crawled into bed, but not before noticing a text message on his phone. He picked the phone up and noted that the message had been sent from "Fat Ass". The message read:
Kyle, I'm going to say this once more: I swear to you, I am NOT skanhunt42. And if you don't believe that, then you can rot in Hell with the rest of your Jew-kind.
Kyle simply replied with a special middle-finger emoji he had downloaded, plugged his phone back into the wall, and went to sleep.
At about that same time, Randy Marsh was wide awake, carefully examining the member-berries. Earlier that day, he had noticed the grapes spouting off some odd things…things that were nostalgic, but in a extremely negative sense of the word.
"Why are these grapes trying to tell me about back before gay marriage was legal?" Randy whispered aloud. "And now they're trying to tell me about slavery and the Civil War era…but why? This doesn't make any damn sense!"
Randy had taken out some of his geological tools to further examine the grapes. Granted something that is used to study the Earth isn't exactly going to be helpful in examining sentient food, but it was the best he had at the moment.
Randy took a closer look at the grapes and gasped when he saw that a certain chemical was inside them. It was something he hadn't ever heard of, but based on the name, he realized it could only mean more dark times were ahead.
And that chemical's name was…Cynicalosti unpcisma.
A/N: Just a disclaimer, yes I completely made that last part up. Last I checked, there's no such thing as Cynicalosti unpcisma, but the name is supposed to mean "Cynical un-PC" as in "a negative attitude and the reversal of being politically correct"
Anyways, my NEW theory is that, considering how in the end of the episode, Randy noticed something strange about the member-berries, my new theory is that the talking grapes, or their creator, is going to be one of the main antagonists of Season 20. The grapes are probably being used to subtly brainwash the people of South Park into going back to the way they were before PC Principal arrived. Anyone else agree with me?
I'm sure I'll change that theory a bazillion times throughout the season, but that's what I'm currently thinking.
Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed! :)
