HELLO FOLKS! Lemme set the scene:

Little ol me about to watch TFA with my boyfriend (I missed the opportunity to when it was in the cinema and it took me forver to get a dvd.) and literally within about 10 minutes I was hooked! I had already seen Rogue one at this point and I friggin love it. When I was little i wasn't too bothered about Star Wars, for some reason, but right now its literally the best thing thing in the world.

Don't get me wrong, TFA has its flaws, but what movie doesn't? I enjoyed it, it was good fun. I like what I lil story popped into my mind a bout a week later and thought it'd be cool to write it down. I was bored and couldn't be bothered to do actual work for school... Plus Adam Driver is hot af and an excellent actor...

Here we go~~~

Summary

"You feel it too Joa, I know it… The Force spared your life that day for a reason. And now I know it was for you to join me."
"Knowing what you've become, I wish it hadn't."
A ghost. That's all she possibly could have been. Joa Axfow, former pupil of Luke Skywalker, was meant to die that day of the massacre, along with the others. It seemed fate had other ideas… or was it a subconscious decision of Kylo Ren to spare her life?

Kylo Ren/Ben Solo x OC pairing

Rating: (M), some scenes of a violent and sexual nature, with mature language

Set: During the events of TFA

Genre: Romance/Hurt

First in a possible series

Chapter 1: A Bad Feeling

Joa sat at the bar, taking a long gulp of her drink and glanced around the room. Smugglers, bounty hunters and a whole mish-mash of life from all over the galaxy congregated at the Cantina. Everyone was with somebody, be it a friend, co worker or paid 'entertainment', every single person in the room was with somebody.

Except for Joa. She was alone.

The 26 year old had been alone for a long time now and that is the way she liked it. She only wished to live out the rest of her days in peace. Away from the politics of the collapsing New Republic, away from the resistance… and anything that would remind her of him.

Joa Axfow kept her mind busy by taking on jobs. Be they smuggling jobs, transportation requests or even simple engineering repairs. Any old job would satisfy her. She didn't do it for the money, she did it to keep herself busy. If she was busy she'd forget about her past. Or so she told herself.

But when a job ended, memories has the nasty little habit of creeping back into the forefront of her mind. That is why she drank.

Joa ran a hand through her short silver hair, and tucked one of the little braid that hangs on either side of her face behind her ear. She looked at the reflection of herself in her drink. Her green eyes looked tired and the dark circles forming underneath them didn't help much. She hadn't had a good night's sleep in years. Always using the majority of her energy to keep alert. She was a paranoid creature. With good reason.

"Sarabi Cooke?" A voice called from the front door. The noise of the cantina halted when the new visitor announced his presence by shouting out one of Joa's pseudonyms. She thought it to be too dangerous to use her real name. She really wanted to stay hidden.

"Yo!" Joa raised her hand and all eyes were on her momentarily. The patrons of the cantina continued with their business and the man at the door walked up to her. His face was hidden under a cloak and Joa noticed a small droid wheeling behind him. It was a BB unit and the unique orange markings seemed eerily familiar to her.

Oh shit she thought, rolling her eyes. She did recognise the droid. Meaning the man in the cloak could only have been…

"Poe Dameron." Joa said between sips, revealing his identity. "To what do I owe this pleasure?" She was being sarcastic of course. She knew Leia had sent him. Leia had been searching for 3 years to find the girl, after she left Han, but to no avail. Until now.

"Good to know you still remember me." Poe greeted, lowering his hood. "What gave me away?"

"Is that a serious question?" She raised an eyebrow, pointing to the small round droid at his feet. BB-8 beeped, happily, greeting her. Joa patted it on the head. "Hey BB-8."

She had not known Poe Dameron as well as he might have hoped, but they spent a reasonable amount of time getting to know one another while she was still a part of the resistance. So she wouldn't call their relationship one of 'friends' but more or less colleagues, borderlining acquaintances.

"Can't argue with that… He just really wanted to see you."

"Now that we've completed the pleasantries. What do you want?"

Poe raised his hands in a defensive gesture. "Whoa! Straight to the point I see." He lowered his hands and took a seat next to Joa.

Neither one said anything momentarily, the only sounds being those of the rowdy patrons surrounding them. Poe lifted his cloak to reveal a small satchel on his side, he opened the satchel and retrieved an envelope of sorts. The paper was crisp and white and on the front in neat calligraphy clearly stated 'Joa Axfow'. Joa immediately recognized it as the precise and delicate handwriting of Leia Organa. She sighed.

"The general wanted me to deliver this to you. It's of vital importance you read it as soon as." Poe's face formed a serious expression, one Joa had hardly seen him make. It must have been serious.

She took the letter from his hands and inspected it. She shot a quick glance at the young pilots face before retrieving a small dagger from her belt. She slide the top of the envelope open with the blade and opened the letter. She began reading:

Joa,

My dear, I have not forgotten your request to be left alone, but my request is of vital importance. So I will get straight to the point.

The influence of the First Order is growing phenomenally. The regime of the New Republic is slowly declining. I fear peace in the galaxy is at threat. We at the resistance cannot risk another Empire. Too many lives are at stake.

The resistance has discovered a possibility of a map revealing the location of my brother, and your former master; Luke. As much as many would prefer to deny it, we need his assistance. The risk of the First Order catching wind if this plan is extremely high and we cannot allow them getting to Luke before us.

I know you are the last person in the Galaxy that wishes to be around your old master right now but I did not know who else to turn to… There is word the map can be found on Jakku, in the hands of Lor San Tekka. He trusts you. If you can retrieve it from him, it would be most helpful.

Han hasn't returned in some months now. I know he misses you dearly… We all do. No matter what has happened, you are still my daughter. Blood or not.

Please consider what I have said.

I hope you are well my dear.
General Leia Organa

Joa read and re-read the letter, gritting her teeth, a storm of emotions swirling inside her. She would love more than anything to be reunited with her family, but she left that life behind her and Leia was correct; she did not wish to see Luke Skywalker again. He had left her while she was on death's door and abandoned everyone when they needed him the most. That is why she decided to leave behind the politics of the world she had grown up in and simply wanted to forget…. Forget everything before that day.

She was brought back to reality from her thoughts and reminiscing by BB-8's frantic beeping.

"I need to refuel. Both my ship and my stomach." Poe stated. "We leave at sun down. For D'Qar. I think the general expects you to be on the ship with me."

Joa chewed the inside of her cheek, a quirk she possessed whenever she was deep in thought. After a while she shook her head. Not really contemplating the request. She had already made up her mind. "No. I can't come back with you. There was a reason I left that life behind me. There is no way I can go back now."

"Please Jo-Saraabi." Poe quickly corrected himself. "You did not see the look in the general's eyes when she asked me to deliver this to you. She needs you. The resistance needs you."

"I'm sorry." He apologised, "I didn't realise it was still..."

Poe placed his hand on Joa's shoulder, but she flinched away at his touch.

"Yeah well it is." Joa downed the remainder of her drink and almost slammed the metal cup on the counter. "I've made a decision Dameron. I refuse. Find someone else." Joa grabbed her jacket, which was placed across the back of her chair and began walking away, done with the conversation.

Poe ran and blocked her path.

"You are in my way Poe." He made no effort to move out of her way.

"No. Please just hear me out-"

"Dameron if you do not move I will injure you. I am NOT going to discuss the matter any further!"

"Okay okay okay okay!" Poe quickly gave in. He knew she was stubborn, and it would do him no good arguing with her. He sighed a long and exasperated sigh. "I know there is no point arguing here but… The ship is a mile west of here. You know when we leave. I hope you'll change your mind."

She didn't make eye contact with Poe, but she knew how sincere he was being.

"C'mon BB-8," he called to his droid. BB-8 beeped a short goodbye and rolled after his master, who was walking out of the cantina. Joa watched his retreating figure and bag chewing the side of her cheek again.

A flurry of thought invaded her mind as she thought about the pros and cons of going with Poe.

It's the right thing to do … Why should I though? Just because it's right, doesn't mean I should… Should I?... No! It would be too much. There is no way!... Although...

"I know that face." the cheery voice of Maz broke Joa from her thoughts. The little orange woman stood before her, one hand on her hip and the other adjusting her goggles. Her eyes grew in size as she adjusted the magnification. Joa couldn't help but snigger. Maz had become a good friend to Joa in the last 3 years she had spent drinking at the watering hole.

"What face?" She asked, feigning ignorance.

Maz shook her head. "You are in deep contemplation. It seems that young pilot has brought up some old conflicts within you." She hit the nail on the head.

How did she do that? Joa thought

"Because I know you too well young Axfow." The last part Maz whispered, as she worked out Joa's quizzical expression. "Tell me."

Joa let out a tired breath. "It's not that simple… I don't think it is something I want to share. Even with you Maz."

Maz shrugged. "Very well. I will not push you to tell me what you do not wish to discuss. But I know whatever it is, you will make the correct decision. Despite that face, you are a very intelligent girl." Maz walked away from Joa, going about her business.

Joa smiled, pleased Maz had called her intelligent. Yet her smile fell when she realised it was a backhanded compliment. "Hey! What about my face?!"

Poe sat in front of his ship. Chewing on piece of fruit and looking back in the direction Joa would walk in if she ultimately did decide she wanted to join him. The sun was almost about to set and he needed to make the decision whether or not to leave now, or wait a little bit longer.

Poe took a final bite of his fruit and lobbed the core on the ground. He stood, wiping any dirt off his trousers and looked in the distance, still hoping she would show.

Finally defeated he shook his head and motioned to BB-8 who was beside him to follow. Before he could take one step into his X-Wing however, the sounds of footsteps amongst dead leaves grabbed his attention. It was Joa. He smiled.

She ran as fast ash she could, a black satchel on her shoulders, just poking out of the brown poncho that was draped over her. She stopped before him, resting on her knees and panting, heavily.

"Damn… I'm really out of shape." she huffed and puffed. Poe laughed and poked her on the forehead.

"A second longer and we probably would have left without you. I'm glad you came to your senses."

Joa regained her regular breathing and stood up straight. Even when Po slouched he still towered over her, never the less, her size did not mean weakness.

"Yeah well your rousing yet short speech convinced me." She punched him into the arm. "We going or what?"

"Lady's first." Poe gestured towards the ship. Joa shook her head in disbelief.

I have a bad feeling I'm going to regret this.

Thank you for reading!
Please let me know in the comments what you think, and if I should continue

~J