Never Have I Ever

(A/N: I wanted to take a little break from my story [Love of My Life] to write a silly, fun "short" story! It turned out WAAAAY longer than I expected. Aw well, enjoy!)

It had been a long day but the Sanzo party had finally reached the next village. Unfortunately, there was only a single room left so they all had to share one room. They all drew cards to see who would sleep in the bed and the rest on little mattresses on the floor.

Goku drew a king, Gojyo had the ace of clubs, Tai got the ace of spades and Hakkai and Hakuryu got the two jokers. Sanzo sadly drew the lowest card in the game; a queen of hearts.

"Looks like we get the bed, once again." Hakkai said happily to Hakuryu. Hakuryu 'kyuu'd' and flew onto the bed.

"Man I hate sleeping in the same room. It's not fair that I have to sleep on the floor." Goku whined.

"Hey, we all have to sleep on the floor." Gojyo said, annoyed. "So quit your complaining."

Tai noticed the tension in the room and decided that they needed to play a game.

We already played mahjong at the other inn, she thought. And we played cards before that, as well.

Tai thought for a minute as Goku and Gojyo bickered and Sanzo yelled at them to shut up.

"How about we play 'Never have I ever'?" Tai asked the group in mid-argument. All the guys gave her a confused look.

"How do you play?" Goku asked, sitting down next to Tai eagerly.

"Pretty much, everyone has to put all ten fingers up and if someone states something that they have done, they have to put one of their fingers down." Tai explained.

Goku tilted his head to the side. "I don't get it."

"Well, for example, if I say 'Never have I ever worn a cape," you have to put your finger down. Whoever has the most fingers up at the end is the winner." Hopefully that made more sense to him. Goku was a little slow.

"Ooooooh, I get it." Goku nodded.

"So are you guys playing?" Tai asked the other three.

Gojyo exchanged looks with Hakkai while Sanzo gave a 'what the hell' kind of look.

"Ah, what the hell. Sure I'll play." Gojyo said sitting down next to Goku.

"I will join in, as well." Hakkai said. He sat down right next to Gojyo.

Everyone looked up at Sanzo, who was still standing, asking himself why he had to be in the same room with these buffoons.

"No way." Sanzo said.

"Please Sanzo! It'll be fun!" Goku begged.

"Yeah, don't be a party-pooper." Gojyo said.

Tai made a cute pouty face that she knows Sanzo can't resist. "Please."

Sanzo and Tai had a staring contest for a moment until he couldn't resist her cute face anymore. "Fine." Sanzo sat down between Hakkai and Tai.

"Since this was your idea, you start, Tai." Gojyo said.

Tai looked up and pondered in her thoughts. There had been plenty of things she had done, but could barely think of anything she had done.

It was silent in the room until she got frustrated. "Ugh, I can't of anything. Goku, you go."

"Okay," Goku thought for a moment. "Never have I ever…" Goku looked around the room, hoping for an idea. He noticed that Sanzo and Gojyo were smoking. "… smoked a cigarette or drank alcohol!"

Tai, Gojyo, Hakkai and Sanzo all put one finger down, leaving nine fingers left. While Hakkai and Tai don't smoke, they have certainly enjoyed alcohol occasionally.

It was Gojyo's turn. A smirk had formed on his face. "Never have I ever kissed a man." His smug gaze landed on Tai.

Tai looked back at him with a look that screamed 'fuck you!'

Tai was now left with eight fingers, Sanzo, Hakkai and Gojyo with nine and Goku with ten.

It was Hakkai's turn. It was an easy to think of something he has never done.

"Never have I ever left cigarette butts in beer cans." Hakkai never looked at Gojyo, but it was obvious he was referring to him.

Gojyo groaned as he put another finger down.

Tai and Gojyo have eight fingers left, Sanzo and Hakkai still with nine and Goku holding the lead with ten.

It was Sanzo's turn. Even though he found this game was rather childish and annoying, he decided to let out some frustrations.

"Never have I ever fought over food." Sanzo said.

With guilty looks on their faces, Goku and Gojyo put a finger down.

Gojyo now has seven fingers left, Tai with eight and Sanzo, Hakkai and Goku with nine.

It was back to Tai and she had finally thought of something to say. "Never have I ever slept with a woman." She stuck her tongue out at Gojyo.

Unknowingly, she had also gotten Hakkai (A/N: Oh, don't pretend like her wasn't intimate with Kanan!) and Sanzo out. Sanzo and Tai had been intimate before, but that was a secret.

Gojyo now had six fingers left, Sanzo, Hakkai and Tai with eight and Goku with nine still.

"Hey, can we stop pickin' on Gojyo for a minute?" Gojyo asked, noticing that he was losing.

"No!" Tai said.

Goku thought for a minute. There were a lot of things Goku hadn't done that the others have done. But there was one thing he was a bit ashamed of saying.

"Never have I ever kissed a girl." Goku hung his head down, hiding his blush.

The four adults stared at him until Gojyo busted out laughing.

Gojyo had one hand left, while Hakkai and Sanzo had seven fingers left. Tai was trying to be discreet but Gojyo noticed she put her finger down.

"Wait a minute! You kissed a girl?!" Gojyo exclaimed. His jaw was almost touching the floor and his cigarette had fallen out of his mouth.

"I got really drunk one night, shut up!" Tai blushed and put her head down.

Gojyo smirked. It was his turn again. "Never have I ever been a lousy monk."

Sanzo cocked his gun and pointed it at Gojyo. "Sorry, I didn't hear you. Might wanna repeat that?"

"Sanzo, cop-outs are the only way you can get people out." Tai said.

"Yeah, Sanzo, don't take it personal." Gojyo said.

Sanzo put his gun away and put a finger down. "Tch, if we're playing with cop-outs, then never have I ever been a perverted water sprite."

"Hey, you skipped me!" Hakkai said, laughing.

Gojyo rolled his eyes and still put his finger down.

"Never have I ever been allergic to cats." Hakkai said.

"Fuck you." Sanzo said.

So far, Gojyo has four fingers left, Sanzo has six, Hakkai and Tai had seven and Goku still has nine.

No one's really done a cop-out for Hakkai yet, so Tai proceeded to say, "Never have I ever worn a monocle."

"Well played, Miss Tai." Hakkai happily put a finger down.

"Ha! Never have I ever driven a car!" Goku hopped up and pointed at Hakkai.

Hakkai chuckled. "I guess I'm the victim now." He put another finger down.

"Never have I ever said I was hungry every five seconds." Gojyo said, looking at Goku.

"Hey, that's not fair!" Goku put a finger down.

At this point, Gojyo still has four fingers, Hakkai has one hand left, Sanzo had six left, Tai has seven and Goku now has eight fingers. At this point it looks like Goku will win.

"Never have I ever been an annoying monkey." Sanzo said, nonchalant.

"I'm not a monkey!" Goku whined.

"You still have to put your finger down!" Gojyo said.

Goku and Gojyo started to bicker again.

Sanzo smacked the both of them with his paper fan. "WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP SO WE CAN FINISH THIS STUPID GAME SO I CAN GO TO SLEEP?!"

"I don't even know whose turn it is…" Tai said, really confused at this point.

"I believe it's my turn again." Hakkai said.

He thought for a moment while the other three settled down. "Never have I ever snored in my sleep."

Goku put his finger down, with a sad face. He now had seven fingers.

"Never have I ever smacked anyone with a paper fan." Tai said.

Sanzo flipped her off as he put another finger down.

"Don't threaten me with a good time." Tai winked at Sanzo.

Sanzo's face flushed red.

"Ew, get a room!" Goku whined.

Gojyo still has four fingers, Hakkai and Sanzo both have one hand left, Goku has six fingers and Tai still has seven, leaving her in the lead.

"Never have I ever shot a gun." Goku said.

Sanzo obviously put his finger down. Sanzo and Gojyo were now tied with four fingers.

"Never have I ever taken my anger out on anyone." Gojyo said, seeing his opportunity to get himself out of being dead last.

"Tch." Sanzo said as he put his finger down.

"Never have I ever binged on food." Hakkai said.

"Why is everyone picking on me?" Goku whined. He put another finger down.

"Never have I ever used my body for personal gain." Sanzo said, looking at Tai.

Tai's mouth dropped in shock. "I have never done that!"

"Well there was that one time you distracted those group of demons before." Hakkai said, thinking back.

"Well, that's differen-…"

"And that one time you got us out of paying a bill." Gojyo added.

"Yeah but…"

"And that one time you got me a meat bun without paying!" Goku popped up and smiled.

"OKAY, OKAY, I GET IT!" Tai snapped. She put her finger down.

Sanzo was now trailing behind with three fingers, Gojyo with four, Hakkai and Goku had one hand left and Tai now had six fingers.

"Never have I ever gambled!" Tai said.

Gojyo shrugged and put his finger down. Gambling was his life before this journey.

"Never have I ever cooked a meal." Goku said.

"And you never ever will, again." Tai said, putting a finger down. "Remember that one time back in the temple when you almost caused a fire?!"

Hakkai put his finger down, obviously. He's the only one that faithfully cooks in this group.

"Never have I ever had gold eyes." Gojyo said.

"Never have I ever had brown eyes." Hakkai said.

"Never have I ever had green eyes." Sanzo said.

"Never have I ever had purple eyes!" Tai said.

"Never have I ever had red eyes!" Goku said.

Sanzo and Gojyo were down to two fingers, Hakkai with three and Goku and Tai with four fingers.

Tai knew it wasn't her turn but she blurted out anyway, "Never have I ever been a man."

There was an awkward silence. But all four guys put a finger down.

"It wasn't even your turn!" Gojyo snapped. "Never have I ever read the newspaper."

Sanzo had officially lost the game. "Finally, I can go to sleep."

"Never have I ever been a woman." Hakkai smiled.

Tai grumbled under her breath, putting a finger down, leaving three fingers left. "Never have I ever…" She was running out of things to say. "… had brown hair?"

Goku pouted as he put his finger down. Hakkai put a finger down as well.

"Never have I ever had black hair!" Goku said, coming back at Tai.

Tai has one finger left, Gojyo and Hakkai both have two and Goku has three.

"Never have I ever taken forever to do my hair in the morning." Gojyo said.

Tai was now officially out of the game. She hung her head down in shame and crawled next to Sanzo, who was sound asleep.

"Then there were three…" Gojyo said.

"Sorry, Gojyo, but, never have I ever had red hair." Hakkai said, cautiously. He knew how sensitive Gojyo was about his hair color.

Gojyo was still for a second and then he put a finger down. It's only a game, he thought.

Goku was thinking what else he could say. Sanzo and Tai we're asleep next to them.

"Never have I ever had a girlfriend." Goku said.

Hakkai put his finger down. He looked over at Gojyo, who didn't budge.

"What?! Just because I've been with a lot of women, doesn't mean I've dated them." Gojyo explained.

Gojyo and Hakkai have one finger and Goku still has three.

"Never have I ever worn a power limiter." Gojyo said.

Goku put his finger down, leaving two and Hakkai was out of the game.

"Well, good night, you two." Hakkai said, crawling into his bed. "Don't stay up too late."

"Don't worry, Hakkai. It probably won't take long." Gojyo said, staring at his one finger. It was Goku's turn anyway, so he was doomed to lose.

But when Gojyo looked back up, Goku had face planted into his pillow, knocked out asleep.

At first Gojyo was angry at him for not finishing the game, but then he realized that he had won. He smirked and laid down on his little mattress.

"Never have I ever passed out asleep in the middle of a game." Gojyo said, laughing to himself.