MARCH 2012
| Reader Response…
…what readers said about last month's magazine
| Favorable…
"Thanks for last month's article on the dangers of Bubotuber pus. I had a friend who had to go to St. Mungo's after trying to clear her acne with undiluted pus stolen from the school greenhouse. She's fine now, but a word of advice to witches out there: please use beauty potions regulated and approved by the Ministry."
"I don't think flying carpets will ever replace broomsticks in England, simply because there is not enough demand, unlike there is in the east. However, if the Ministry would lift the ban, I would consider buying one for my children."
| And unfavorable…
"Lockhart would never counterfeit all his experiences. I own a signed copy of every one of his books, and I can tell you that they are too well written to be lies. I am sure other fans of Lockhart are just as disappointed as I am in your article."
| Most provoking articles…
"Flying Carpets Vs. Broomsticks" was responsible for 37.2% of reader responses.
"The Truth Behind Beauty Potions" was close second, with 31.8%.
"Where Lockhart is Now: The Successful Author in Disgrace" generated 18.9%.
The Month in Quidditch
► The Highlights
Astonishingly, the Ballycastle Bats defeated the Appleby Arrows, pushing up to tenth place. The Bats' seeker, Sean O'Neil, caught the Snitch within the first ten minutes of the game.
Falmouth Falcons and Pride of Portree are tied for eighth place. If they stay tied, a tie-breaker match may be needed to discern which team qualifies for playoffs this June.
The Kenmare Kestrels were crushed by the Montrose Magpies after Robert Lewis, Keeper, was knocked unconscious by a Bludger. In the mayhem afterwards, Magpie Chasers managed to rack up seventy points.
► Current Standings
1. Puddlemere United {8020}
2. Montrose Magpies {7960}
3. Holyhead Harpies {7830}
4. Appleby Arrows {7820}
5. Caerphilly Catapults {7500}
6. Wimbourne Wasps {7480}
7. Kenmare Kestrels {7010}
8. Falmouth Falcons {6940}
8. Pride of Portree {6940}
9. Ballycastle Bats {6890}
10. Tutshill Tornados {6880}
11. Chudley Cannons {6630}
12. Wigtown Wanderers {6500}
► What the Critics Say
"I don't see the Magpies as likely for the League Cup winners this year. Their second place standing has mostly been pure luck. I'll bet five sickles that by the end of the month, it'll be a close race between Puddlemere United, Holyhead Harpies, and Appleby Arrows." ~ Ginny Weasley, Quidditch correspondent for The Daily Prophet
► Must-See Games Next Month
Kenmare Kestrels vs. Wigtown Wanderers
Will the Wanderer's long-standing hate of the Kestrels bring them to a victory? They could sure use it…
April 2, at Boodmin Moor Quidditch Stadium
Holyhead Harpies vs. Appleby Arrows
The Harpies and Arrows are well-matched in skill this season, insuring an exciting game if the Snitch isn't caught too soon. They're currently separated by a mere ten points.
April 17, at Ellis Moor Quidditch Stadium
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A Look inside the New Azkaban
by Clara Reid
Ten years ago, Minister of Magic Kingsley Shacklebolt passed a law authorising the gradual removal of Azkaban's guards, Dementors. He justified his actions by citing the previously inhumane living conditions and the Dementors' more recent betrayal of the Ministry. Since then, a special squad of Aurors was dispatched to exterminate all remaining Dementors. More recently, the prison has been refurbished to give its prisoners a "happier, healthier life style."
On March 10, 2012, I, along with a handful of other journalists, was allowed a visit inside the new Azkaban. With much anxiety, I spent the days before perfecting my Patronus and bracing myself for the horrors I was sure I would encounter.
The day came with thunderclouds and lightning. An ominous sign for sure, I thought to myself as we were methodically searched. Our wands were confiscated and a burly guard forbid us from taking photos. Flanked by more guards, we started our tour armed with only Self-Inking Quills and notebooks.
The first stop was the main office. It was a seemingly friendly, inviting place with simple couches and a twitchy receptionist. There, we met Dorothea Trafford, head of renovations. She led us to a block of newly finished cells on the west side of the building. On the other side of a massive, charm-reinforced door, I was surprised to see a paved hallway of polished gray stone, lit by glowing panels overhead. On either side, guards patrolled the corridors. Unable to contain my curiosity, I peered through the next window we passed. A prisoner in plain black robes lay relaxed on a steel bunk, a book covering his face. He seemed healthy, even comfortable.
It was a far cry from the starved, emaciated human beings I had been expecting. Several more blocks passed in the same way. Azkaban, it seemed, bore more resemblance to a cheap motel than a place of punishment. Where was the justice? Surely these criminals never allowed their victims this same level of comfort. Didn't they deserve to suffer?
Near the end of the tour, one reporter asked Ms. Trafford exactly that. She looked him in the eye and replied, "You're perfectly right. The staff here at Azkaban… we're not Death Eaters. That's why we show love. Compassion. Mercy. Because if we don't, are we really any better than those we imprison?"
He was silent the rest of the way.
~ OLLIVANDER'S ~
Makers of Fine Wands since 382 B.C.
╨ ╨ ╨
Discovering Diagon Alley
with Perry Rover
╥ ╥ ╥
After a long day at the office, I wandered through Diagon Alley, searching for a good place to eat. Lucky for me, my nose followed the amazing smells wafting up the street, bringing me to The Greasy Cauldron.
It's an American 1960's style diner nestled between Gambol and Jape's Joke Shop and Apricity, a Muggle fashion boutique, in Diagon Alley's South Side.
The black and white checkered floor was the perfect backdrop for the red vinyl booths and chrome furniture. The walls are covered with knickknacks accumulated over the decades, including a large collection of vintage Quidditch paraphernalia, from talkative autographed posters to a jersey of Dangerous Dai Llewellyn himself. I'm a huge fan of the Caerphilly Catapults, and I was so enraptured with the décor that the waitress had to clear her throat several times before I came back to Earth.
The menu was just as impressive. Full-color, moving pictures illustrated every dish in mouth-watering detail. And I don't even like American food! I settled on ordering the Bacon Burger, a house specialty, and a side of fries.
The food took a bit longer than expected to arrive, but when it did, I forgot everything else and experienced a few minutes of happiness better than Euphoria Elixir. My only complaint is that the fries were soaked in oil and tasted rather soggy. It also took a long time for the server to bring me my check, which totaled up to be a bargain price of a Galleon and three Sickles.
I'd recommend The Greasy Cauldron to Quidditch fans or anyone who enjoys good American food with just the right influence of British cuisine.
Category: Food, Diner
Average Price: Cheap
Product Quality: 4/5
Service: 3/5
Atmosphere: 5/5
Perry Rover is a wanderer and a trailblazer. When not at his office at Pensieve headquarters, he can be found exploring the hidden corners of Diagon Alley searching for his next article or cheering the Catapults at their next match.
Ask… Ginny Weasley, retired captain of the Holyhead Harpies and current Quidditch correspondent for The Daily Prophet
"How did your love of Quidditch start?" Mary Perkins, Newcastle
I grew up with six brothers, which made me fiercely competitive. I used to break into the shed and practice on their brooms. And I was chaser for the Gryffindor Quidditch team during my fourth, fifth, and seventh years at Hogwarts. I didn't play during sixth year because that was the height of the Second Wizarding War.
"Why did you retire from Quidditch?" Anonymous, Godric's Hollow
All for my kids. Harry and I didn't originally plan for them, so when I got pregnant with James, I kept playing Quidditch until his kicking proved too distracting. And after he was born, I barely glanced at him before hopping on my broom again. By… 2006? No, 2005, I think, my second son, Albus, came along. James was three then, and I realized how much of his early childhood I missed. I didn't want that happening with Al, so I retired from the Holyhead Harpies.
"What's it like being married to the Boy-Who-Lived?" Lynn Wood, Birmingham
I suppose he's the Man-Who-Lived now. [laughs] Honestly, back when we first got engaged, I was afraid I'd be overshadowed by all his fame, so I pushed myself to my limits in Quidditch, trying to make a name for myself. Guess it worked. And I know this sounds cliché and whatnot, but I couldn't ask for anyone better. He was super supportive during my Quidditch career, always there to babysit James and cheer for me at a match.
"What is your biggest regret?" David Ward, Liverpool
Those precious years that I spent throwing a Quaffle around instead of raising James like a good mum.
"Who do you look up to?" Artemis Cooper, Bristol
I've always admired my mother. Now that I have two boys of my own, I find it hard to believe she raised six. Career-wise, I find Jocelind Wadcock inspiring. She's calm, fast, and agile even under pressure. Quite frankly, if I hadn't signed on to the Harpies, I would've been just as glad to join Puddlemere United.
Do you have a question you would like to ask Kirley Duke, lead guitarist of The Weird Sisters? Send us an owl at
Pensieve Headquarters
98a Diagon Alley, North Side
and we might publish it in next week's interview!
Cutoff date is April 25th. Please mark parchment as "Pensieve Interview Question" in clear, legible handwriting or print. Your entry will not be returned.
Is It Time to Go Back?
by Dennis Creevey
As J.K. Rowling, author of Harry Potter's seven-part biography, prepares to write a new novel aimed toward adult Muggles, we again question the Wizarding World's decision to stay hidden. For the most part, the biographies of the Boy-Who-Lived have been received well within the Muggle community. Many even fancy themselves to be witches or wizards, dressing in costumes and purchasing "wands". Is there any harm in revealing ourselves to them?
"Yes," says an employee of the Ministry, who asked not to be named. "Muggles are and will always be too simpleminded to handle the thought of magic. And what they don't understand, they will fear. In response to Harry Potter's popularity among Muggles, she pointed out a handful of hate groups that still denounce witchcraft and hold book burnings for the Harry Potter biographies. These groups brainwash Muggle parents into believe we are evil as if by mass Imperius Curses. "Coming out of hiding is just begging for another era of persecution," she finished.
On the other hand… "Muggles are harmless," Carlotta Pinkstone firmly argues. Ms. Pinkstone has worked tirelessly to lift the International Statue of Wizarding Secrecy, resulting in several sentences in Azkaban. She recounts her experience at last year's LeakyCon, a Muggle event for fans of Harry Potter. "Everyone wanted so badly for what they thought was fantasy to be real. And I wanted to tell them it was." Ms. Pinkstone acknowledges that there are Muggle hate groups who would probably act upon witches and wizards with violence, but maintains that the majority of the non-magical population would probably welcome our world with open arms.
Whatever the Ministry's final verdict will be, Muggle lovers will be pleased to know that the Statue of Secrecy is already being relaxed in some places. For example, this issue of Pensieve, along with future issues, will be published online for both Wizard and Muggle audiences. Perhaps this is the first step to building each other's trust again.
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