The Fake Date Gone Wrong

Cid wasn't usually the match making type, especially when it came to his own children. Brother was so starry eyed over Yuna still that getting him to date was like tipping over a shoopuf. It also didn't help that the young man was a little bit...odd...even by Al Bhed standards Brother was considered different. But Brother wasn't Cid's major concern right now, it was his other child, Rikku.

Rikku had been worrying him with her lack of any type of personal relationship. She was either busy tinkering with Machina or flying around Spira with her girlfriends. Cid felt it was about time one of his kids started finding a person to settle down with, he wanted to know his people would have a new generation of his kin to look to for guidance. Since the possibility of Brother having Yuna for a wife was highly unlikely, Cid was focused on pairing up his Rikku with a leading Al Bhed man.

-0-0-

"Gippal? Dad I don't like him that way, he's a friend!" Rikku tried explaining, but Cid was determined she go on at least one date, and 'promised' that if there weren't any sparks between them, she wouldn't have to go on another one.

"Since when are you into getting me in a relationship anyway?" Rikku suspiciously asked, knowing her father always had other motives for his actions.

"Well, you won't be my little girl forever, might as well be the one to help ya find the right one." He chuckled, and Rikku had to wonder if Gippal was his first choice, who else would be on the list?

Rikku was having a difficult time going along with her fathers orders. He didn't know about her secret preference to the same gender. She didn't want to bring it up to begin with, because she knew he'd probably say that she was confused. That she was young and only experimenting with her sexuality.

At least, Rikku assumed he'd react that way. He also might react in a "you're not my daughter anymore" way. Rikku wasn't sure how her pops stood on that stuff. Hence why she had kept her feelings to herself, it hadn't been her number one priority to divulge to her father anything about her sex life to begin with. Now with his pushy behavior, his meddling with her personal life, Rikku just didn't know how to break it to him.

Gippal knew, of course, how Rikku fancied other women instead of men. They were friends, she had been flirting with other chicks right along side Gippal before. It wasn't weird for them, and she knew he'd go along with the 'date' to please her dad.

-0-0-

They had met up in Luca, Gippal had taken her into a nice bar, where they had ordered a few drinks. Okay, so maybe a few was down playing it, because those shots of Cactuar Kickers were really messing Rikku up. The young woman was laughing at anything, she sometimes slurred her words, and worst of all she kept passing gas. And when she'd let one rip, she'd look off into a deserted corner of the bar and blame it on some imaginary man named Auron.

Gippal had left her alone for a moment to order up another drink for himself, when he noticed an odd individual at the bar. At first glance you'd assume it was a woman, but looking closely, Gippal recognized the person as Isaaru!

Sure, the guy was usually in a somewhat feminine robe, but this night the dude was in an honest to goodness dress! It was a sequenced number, magenta in color, with little straps going over his slender shoulders. The length thankfully was all the way to the floor, but there was a slit on the side, showing off some of Isaaru's oddly smooth looking legs.

"What the Hell are you doing?" Gippal bluntly popped out his question, eyeing the cross dressing ex-summoner curiously.

"That's no way to speak to a lady." Issaru's voice came out high and willowy, his long yet fake eye lashes batting at the bemused Gippal. Gippal rolled his eye and walked off. As he reached his drunken friend, a very amusing idea came to his mind.

"Hey Rikku." He caught her attention, the blonde girl goofily smiling at him.

"What?" She hiccuped after speaking, making Gippal chuckle.

"Hey, you see that girl over there?" He pointed towards the dressed up Issaru. Rikku wobbly angled her head to stare, her shoulders gave a loose shrug.

"So?"

"She was asking me about you, I think she's interested. I think you should go up there and see if she's your type." He stood up and began helping her from her seat, a fart slipping out as she stood, Rikku pointed to where her friend "Auron" was and blamed him again.

"Maybe try not to do that in front of the lady, hmm?" Gippal commented as he shuffled her over to the bar, helping her onto the stool next to the 'in drag' Issaru.

"Good luck!" Gippal patted her on the back before going back to their table, watching as the practical joke began.

-0-0-

Rikku liked the lady's dress, the sparkly sequence caught her attention like a kitten with yarn. Rikku started looking the tall lady up and down, taking in her long yet smooth legs, her squared shoulders. The woman was daintily sipping a very colorful looking drink, her lips were covered in a dark red lipstick.

"You're pretty." Rikku spoke in a drunken giggle, getting the lovely creature beside her to glance over and lightly smile.

"I'm Rikku, what's your name, pretty lady?" She tried putting on a cool demeanor, but wound up just looking like she was constipated.

The dark haired lady sipped the last of her drink before responding. Turning in her seat to fully to look at Rikku, she extended her manicured hand, "Iris, and I think you're a pretty little thing too, Sugar."

Rikku shook 'Iris's' hand and blushed at the compliment. The lady was totally a bombshell to Rikku's inebriated eyes, but did she have it in her to try and woo the lovely Iris even more?

"Say, didn't you come in with a tall blonde?" Iris asked, making Rikku look over at her snooping 'date', Gippal.

"He's just a friend, his name's Gippal by the way. Why do you ask?" Rikku turned her attention back towards her 'female' friend.

"My, he is very good looking, why aren't you two more than just friends?" Rikku was starting to get a vibe from this lady, perhaps she wasn't interested in Rikku after all...

"Well, I don't like sausage, I'm more of a taco fan." Rikku sassily remarked, the woman before her taking a moment to get the innuendo, once she did the lady laughed.

"That's funny, I happen to enjoy them both." Iris chuckled, giving Rikku a coy look. "Are you interested in a night filled with passion, Sweetie?" Iris leaned in and brushed back some of Rikku's hair.

Rikku shivered, her eyes getting wide at the simple yet lovely touch. "I'm ready when you are." Rikku answered, making Iris smile and pull back.

"Let me just freshen up in the powder room, then we can get going." She winked before leaving the other. Rikku, in her new found friends absence, let out a long fart. She had held it in, trying not to offend the lovely Miss Iris.

"Quit being rude, Auron!" She blamed her imaginary guardian companion that she believed was hanging out in the back of the bar.

Gippal hustled over, "How'd it go? Get ditched already?" He teased her, making Rikku pout and glare.

"She's coming back!" Rikku insisted, her male friend only shook his head in disbelief.

"Sure, that's what they all say." He sassed her, Rikku stuck out her tongue at him before ordering one last drink, just to steady her nerves.

"Don't you think you've had enough? You're still blaming gas on the guy that isn't even there in the back." Gippal commented, but of course Rikku ignored him, gulping down her final Kicker.

To Gippal's surprise, the cross dresser Isaaru actually came back. The drag queen gave Gippal a wink and a smile before taking Rikku's hand and exiting the bar. Gippal had been having fun messing with Rikku, but he probably was gonna get his ass chewed if he didn't make sure the girl wasn't safe with her new 'companion'.

The former Crimson Squad soldier carefully tailed the two, following them into a hotel. He stood behind a pillar as he spied, watching the cross dresser order a room, and lead Rikku towards the stairs.

"Shit, how am I gonna get up there?" He cursed, knowing the management probably wouldn't be cool with him sneaking around. His mind started putting together a plan as he watched bell boys carrying luggage for other guests.

Gippal found a spot behind some indoor plants and waited for an unsuspecting bell boy to wander past...

-0-0-

"Well, this room sure is...fancy." Rikku eyed all the plush looking furniture and the enormous bed.

"Only the best for my...lovers..." Iris seemed to be purring, making Rikku laugh in a rude manner.

"What's so funny?" Iris got fussy, Rikku told her that she sounded like a 'kitty-cat'. Iris let out a long sigh before smiling in a pleasant manner once more.

"Alright, Honey, what type of play are you into?" The lady was straight forward, almost treating their enjoyment like a business transaction.

Rikku shrugged, "I dunno, I'm pretty easy to please." She received a frown from her companion.

"That's not very detailed. I usually like more information before continuing." Iris began to walk around Rikku, herding her closer to the bed. "But I suppose I can wing it." Iris had Rikku now with her back legs against the bed, Iris suddenly took both her hands and pushed down the drunk girl, watching her bounce on the fluffy mattress.

-0-0-

Gippal had knocked out a bell boy, had taken the guys outfit and shoved it on. It was a tight fit, causing the blonde walk a bit stiffly, and somewhat awkwardly. He casually made his way up the stairs, listening to the doors as he passed by, not knowing which room his friend had gone in.

Gippal paused at room twelve, hearing Isaaru's feminine voice speaking towards Rikku. He could pick up the squeaking of a mattress, followed by giggles belonging to his fellow Al Bhed. So far it sounded like Rikku was enjoying herself, but that joy wouldn't last long when Isaaru produced a certain appendage. Rikku was gonna be in for a Hell of a surprise! Gippal was just there to make sure Isaaru didn't do anything once Rikku found out his true gender.

"Wait, what's that?" He could hear Rikku speaking to her cross dressing companion.

"Holy shit, you're a dude?!" He heard her yell, a loud thump was heard, followed by groaning.

Worried, Gippal knocked on the door, "Room service!" He called in a lower voice, hoping that Rikku would answer the door.

There was a lot of foot falls, along with cursing, before the door finally opened. Rikku stared up at the costumed Gippal, her face covered in lipstick marks, her hair disarrayed.

"You!" She pointed an accusing finger up at him, "Did you know?!" She demanded, he was opening the door wider and peeking in at Isaaru's knocked out form. Half his body was uncovered, his dress pushed up and covering only his chest.

"Damn, he even shaved down there?" Gippal stared, his attention turning back to Rikku who was starting to rant and rave.

"I can't believe you sent me off with that pervert!" She growled, glaring at Gippal as he cheekily grinned.

"Hey, think of it as a life lesson. Not all chicks are chicks, and not all dudes are dudes." He wandered out of the room, Rikku sticking to his heels.

"What if he had hurt me?! That sicko might have tied me up and done horrible things to me!" Rikku yelled at her friend, their steps leading them out of the hotel. Rikku followed Gippal over to a fountain where he began to strip off his unimpressive costume.

"Damn buttons." Gippal cursed as he fumbled with the front of his bell boy pants.

Rikku sighed in annoyance at his behavior, slapping his hands away, Rikku worked at the tight button until finally it came undone.

"Maybe next time you should pick out a heavier bell hop, Fattie." She sassed, Gippal ignored her and continued changing. "You know, someone might walk over here." She warned, and Gippal gave an ornery smile.

"Let em look." He was down to his boxers, that's when his smile turned into a frown.

"I left my pants."

"What?"

"I left my pants at the hotel. Hey, go get them for me, they're behind the plants next to the stairs." He waited, and Rikku just stared blankly at him.

"Now why would I do that? After all, you're the one who just said 'let them look'." Rikku was not the type of person to forgive a prank, like the one he had pulled, so easily.

"Rikku, come on. I have to get back to Djose!" He grumpily barked at her, squinting his eye at her.

"No." She smirked, and started to walk away from him.

"Where do you think you're going?!" He demanded, watching as she kept on moving.

"Home." She spoke over her shoulder, completely done with their evening.

"The Hell you are!" He yelled, sprinting wearing only his boxers, chasing after her and grabbing her from behind.

"Let go!" She flung herself this way and that in his arms, shifting and moving enough to make Gippal tip over with her, his heavy body landing on top of Rikku like a sack of potatoes.

"Whoa there, hold your chocobos boy!" A very loud and familiar voice rung out, Gippal's body was pulled off Rikku. "I see your dates gone great, but my little girl needs a ring before you can shove anything in that coin slot." Rikku was mortified, as she stared up at her father, her dad was gripping Gippal's shoulder, and smiling very weirdly.

"Pops? What are you doing?!" Rikku squeaked out her words, standing up and looking back and forth between Gippal and her parent.

"I was seeing how things were going." He chuckled in an odd way, "Guess you love birds really felt the spark tonight! But the sparks gotta wait, Rikku needs to know you're a straight shooter, that you're gonna be a good husband. That's where I come in!" Cid patted Gippal on the back, the young man had a pale face, his eye was bugging out in horror and disbelief.

"Rikku, isn't there something you wanted to tell your father?" Gippal worriedly looked to her, willing the young woman to spill the beans about her true feelings.

"Rikku, what's this boy yammering on about?" Cid asked, eyeing his daughter carefully.

"Pops, I..I want you to know..." Gippal was looking relieved, "That I...I really want to tell you, how much I want...I want a big wedding." Gippal gaped at her, his brow sweating as Cid began to escort him to his awaiting ship, Cid telling Rikku that of course she could have a big wedding.

"Anything for my little girl." He promised, Rikku and Gippal climbing aboard the ship. All the crew whistled and clapped as Cid lead Gippal through with Rikku. He escorted Gippal to his own private room, where he asked the now frowning young man to put some clothes on.

"Rikku, you can wait in your room while Gippal gets dressed, once he's ready, I want you both up top so I can tell the whole crew the good news." He had a skip to his step as he walked away.

-0-0-

What a mess she had gotten herself into! And the look Gippal had given her, what type of friend was she to let her dad assume Gippal was the one, to rope Gippal into a marriage? Rikku was waiting in her room when she heard a knock, the door sliding open to reveal her unhappy friend.

"You're fixing this, Rikku. Right now, even if I just said it to him, he'd get pissed and throw me off the ship for saying it. You gotta come clean. Before things escliate any further." He had a point, but Rikku was scared, and her Dad had seemed pretty happy...

"I'll see what I can do." She moved past him, leading the way to where her dad would be waiting. The whole crew was waiting for the news as well, all ears would be listening in.

"Gippal, if I can't say it right away, will you play along? Just for a while." She asked as they continued their way towards the bridge.

"Rikku, just promise me you're gonna get to it. I don't think you'd be happy marrying a dude when you know you like women. Talk about an awkward marriage..." He was chuckling half heartedly, his body tensing as they entered the full bridge.

"There they are! Alright everyone, my big announcement is...My daughter is going to marry Gippal!" The packed bridge exploded in applause, Gippal receiving pats on the back.

"Now Pops, we did just go on our first date, how about we plan for a long engagement first. Besides, big weddings take a long time to plan." Rikku spoke logically to her father, Cid looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Makes sense, alright Rikku. You got a year to plan it. That should be enough time to put Gippal through some training." Cid got a confused look from his son in law to be.

"What kind of training?" Gippal hesitantly asked.

"Why how to be a good husband training, of course! My wife may be gone, but I still know how a good husband should treat his wife." Cid gave Gippal a heavy pat on the back, "It'll be fun!" Cid assured the Machina Faction leader.

"Can't wait." Gippal sarcastically spoke, eyeing Rikku with contempt and annoyance. Just when did she plan on growing a pair and tell Cid the truth? What kind of nonsense did Gippal have to go through before Rikku finally came out and said it?

-0-0-

Final Fantasy 10-2 belongs to Square Enix.