they're gonna be out looking for us all night

Because when you recruit a bunch of young adults and kids and tell them that they're going to rule the world, you have to be upfront about everything that this entails- including but not limited to: the matching uniforms, cross-country hiking trips, and taking orders from a bratty half-pint.


Camp is slow waking up. Large crowds of people tend to do that, a massive division wanting to start the day right and the other wanting to shut down the bright ball of hate that is the sun. Doing an action, as a synchronized group, takes time less like dominoes falling and more like molasses dripping.

Nevertheless, camp wakes up, and people go on about training and daily walking regimen before breakfast, coming back to camp just as daylight starts to shine. Over the slight din of spirals tiredly making their way to breakfast, a distinct whining pierces through the air.

"What do you mean I'm not going?" A frowning boy blows the dark fringe of hair from his eyes.

"It means that you're staying here and training with me while Zhalia runs out for errands." A stocky man in front of him says, voice void of inflection. His foot is tapping impatiently, unprepared to deal with the kid at eight in the morning without any caffeine or food in his system.

A Spiral turns on her heel upon seeing her supposed superiors' argument, and sits underneath a nearby tree's shade to recover from the morning exercises. Huffing, she curls up in a fetal position- one hand 'round her knees.

"I'm supposed to be with her at all times."

"No, she's supposed to be guarding you at all times," says the stocky man, lowering his voice as another Spiral passes. He didn't take notice of the fight, however, too engaged in writing in a journal. "Due to her being occupied today, I'm doing it instead. A simple recon is beneath someone of your power and station, Harrison."

"You're sending Zhalia," Harrison insists. "It's not going to be a simple recon. I'm supposed to train with her today."

"You can train with her tomorrow. Or are you and her hiding something from me, boy?"

"I won't hide anything from you, Tantras," assures Harrison.

Behind Tantras, a brown-haired new recruit frantically searches his pockets, having probably misplaced another amulet. He hasn't even put up his hood.

Amateurs, Harrison thinks even as he says, "It's just that there's this mind spell she's been teaching me and I think I fucked up the technique-"

Wisely, he stops as Tantras' eyes squint- the same look he has whenever a mosquito dares to bite him, seconds before spraying the poor fucker to death.

"Mind spells," Tantras spits out, "are a waste of time. Chaos already exists in the minds of men- you must focus more on bringing out the chaos in the physical world."

Harrison suppresses an involuntary shudder as a Harlekin passes by him, handing a pen to the brown-haired guy who snatches it from the Harlekin's grasp. The stupid clowns always freak him out, but he can't show that weakness in front of Tantras. "I didn't mean-"

"You didn't mean to waste your time on such useless spells?"

Feeling the other Spirals' curious gazes behind his back, Harrison shuts up. Mentally counting to ten like Zhalia had instructed him to, he clenches his hands and takes a deep breath. "Planting seeds of doubt and misunderstanding in the minds of men would be a step towards inciting chaos in the world."

Tantras pauses, then rubs his white beard. "That's a mighty fair point," he concedes. "Still, you should not slack off in training with your Titans. The Red Comet is almost here, and by then you must prove yourself to be a worthy servant of Chaos." He then makes a wild gesture, full of maniacal energy that shouldn't be accessible before eight in the morning.

"Bingo!"

Tantras and Harrison turn to the Spiral who was writing in his journal, now suddenly waving to the brown-haired recruit.

The brown-haired guy looks to Tantras and Harrison, behind him to the other Spiral breathing heavily in the shade. Looks back, points to himself. The other one closes his journal and frantically nods.

"Bingo, my dude, my guy! What's up? I can't believe you're here! How are you? How's life working out for you, Bingo?" He runs to him and wraps an arm around his shoulders, angle awkward due to brown-haired guy being a head taller.

A wheezing sound comes from the Spiral in the shade.

Harrison turns back his attention to Tantras and begrudgingly nods. "Fine, I'll train with you."

Tantras looks pleased. "Later, when the sun is higher up in the sky. You've become a bit pale," he says over his shoulder, walking away to get some breakfast before terrorizing the new recruits again.

"Of course," Harrison mutters. "She gets a mission and I get baked under the sun. Fantastic." He jogs off to the breakfast tent, preparing to stock up before the training.

The two Spirals watch him go, before the brown-haired guy one removes the smaller one's hand slung around his shoulders. "Dude, what the fuck," he hisses, "You almost blew it!"

"Sorry, I panicked!" replies the smaller Spiral in a pitchy voice. "What else was I supposed to do?"

"Oh gee, I don't know, call bingo after they'd left?"

"But this is the first time I've won this thing! I always get the shittiest cards, I swear to God." The smaller Spiral shakes out a small sheet of paper from his journal. "This is, like, the first card I got that didn't have SOMEBODY MAKES A HARLEKIN JUMPSCARE as a free space."

"Yeah, I got one of those, actually." They turn around to see the girl who sat in the shade, running up to them. "Congratulations, by the way. Can I see that?"

"Sure." He hands over the card to the girl and recalls Harlekin back to his amulet. The brown-haired recruit stares at the card from over the girl's shoulder.

"Holy shit, you weren't kidding." The card is a limited-edition one, centralized to the leaders. All the squares under the letter N are scratched out, from SHAUNA GOES BERSERK BEFORE LUNCH to TANTRAS MAKES A SPEECH ABOUT CHAOS – even the free space HARRISON USES ZHALIA'S WORDS. "Were you trailing them the entire morning?"

"I had to," he hisses, insisting. The smaller Spiral is still as a statue, shuddering only to remember the things he had went through, the things he forced himself to see, only to ensure that he won today's round of Bingo and the prize of extra rations at the table. "I had to."

The girl stares at him in both pity and awe. "Did you really walk in on Kiel when h-"

"I don't want to talk about it."

The brown-haired guy claps the catatonic man on his shoulder, steering him to the direction of the breakfast tent. "Congratulations, kiddo. Come on, let's eat. You've seen enough horrors for today."

"Look at it this way," says the girl conversationally, falling into step next to them. "At least you didn't walk in on Rassimov's UST-filled counseling session with our zombie leader."

Without knowing why, Spirals all around camp shivered in fear and disgust.


A/N: Blood Spiral antics! Because evil henchmen are people too!

This was written in response to an anonymous message concerning the hows and whys of Blood Spiral accommodations during their hiking trip to the Siberian plateau, which then spiraled (ha) into this fic. Originally had many parts that I may or may not upload. Whoops. Title comes from Search Party by Sam Bruno.