Begins right after Edward, Alice and Bella return from Italy after saving Edward. Starts at about the beginning of Eclipse. Bold portions are S.M.'s words not mine. Enjoy :)
"But how could you believe me? After all the thousand times I've told you I love you, how could you let one word break your faith in me?"
I let the words flow through my mind over and over again, as I had for so many days now reminding myself they were real. Edward had come back, he hadn't ever wanted to leave me, it was my fault for believing him.
"I could see it in your eyes, that you honestly believed that I didn't want you anymore, The most absurd, ridiculous concept-as if there were any way I could exist without needing you! Bella, really what were you thinking!"
I gasped as the fissure in my chest spiked again in pain and I wrapped my arms around my middle to ease it, taking my left thumb and running it over and over the large ring that now sat on my left ring finger. He's back, Bella. I told myself. He's back and he's not going anywhere, he gave you this ring to prove it. But I couldn't help indulge the nagging in the back of my mind: But what if he leaves again? He did it once, it could happen again…
"I'm not going anywhere. Not without you. I only left you in the first place because I wanted you to have a chance at a normal, happy, human life. I could see what I was doing to you-keeping you constantly on the edge of danger, taking you away from the world you belonged in, risking your life every moment I was with you. So I had to try. I had to do something, and it seemed like leaving was the only way. If I hadn't thought you would be better off, I could have never made myself leave. I'm much too selfish. Only you could be more important than what I wanted…what I needed. What I want and need is to be with you, and I know I'll never be strong enough to leave again. I have too many excuses to stay-thank heaven for that!"
But could I believe him? I felt my breathing start to increase and braced my hands on the kitchen counter to steady myself. He told you, he told you he would have been back soon anyway, whether or not Alice had thought you had killed yourself. He would have come back, he couldn't have stayed away. I forced myself to keep my breathing under control, all I needed now was to have Charlie come home and find his daughter unconscious, lying in the kitchen, no dinner made. He came back Bella. He came back. He proposed. That's all you need to know. He's here and he told you he's not going anywhere. I shook my head to clear it of thoughts. That was enough brooding for one day, I knew I'd go through the same thing again tomorrow, so I might as well get dinner ready for Charlie.
After dinner, I showered and got into bed, ready to try and sleep. As I picked my jeans up off the floor a note fell out. The note Jacob had given me. My heart throbbed in pain. Jacob. What I wouldn't give to have my best friend here with me right now. I missed our easy conversations, the way he understood me, his smile, his warmth…
I traced my fingers over his written letters, as I had done so many times these past few weeks and felt a tear drip down my cheek and saw it land on the paper where it mingled with the smudges of ink from his rough writing. I sighed, got up to open my window for Edward and got back in bed. I fell asleep still reciting the only words Jacob saw fir to keep in tact: Yeah, I miss you too. A lot. Doesn't change anything. Sorry.