A/N: Long time no see, Fanfiction. Now trying Twilight.

Story: Bella is pregnant. And pissed.

Both Edward and Bella are vampires in this and there is no pain/oddness/weird growing thing about that baby. Nine months. Have fun … Edward.

And you too people J

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Edward cautiously stepped towards the bathroom door and knocked, twice.

"Bella, are you alright, my love?"

Although the toilet flush was loud Bella's growl drowned it completely … even for human ears.

"I'm telling you, Edward, if you don't shut the fuck up right now I'm going to kick your sissy ass all the way down the hallway!"

Gagging.

Her husband's brow furrowed. "Bella …", he began, grabbing the doorknob.

"Edward Cullen! Don't you dare open that door!", she yelled. Pause. Gagging. "I. Am. Puking. And I swear on my mother's apple pie if you open that door I will puke all over you goddamn face!"

The male vampire gulped.

"But how can I help you, Bella? There's got to be a -"

Bella's furious words cut off his pleading. "Just leave me the fuck alone", she warned him. "Go hunt a squirrel or something …"

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Edward jumped when his wife stepped out of the bathroom after nearly an hour. She eyed him with narrowed eyes, craning her neck in an almost arrogant way.

"God, Edward, you're such a stalker." Her words were unusually cold and his eyes saddened visibly.

And, still, he had to smile at his wife. In spite of the pissed off expression on her face she still looked more beautiful than ever with the small bump of her stomach already noticeable and her hands resting on her hips.

Edward was now standing in front of his wife, staring at her with a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. The brunette vampire growled quietly.

"Stop staring …", she muttered but the angry tone had slightly ceased. She shifted uncomfortably. "And don't you touch me. I'm ugly."

Her eyes widened as he took a step forward.

"Edward … I'm warning you …" Her voice was a nervous hissing. Edward was grinning now.

Another step.

She put up a hand in front of her, between Edward and herself.

"No, no, no! You did this to me. You're not getting any of this anytime soon. Nah-ah! Go cuddle the wall … I am not available right now! Back off I swear -"

But he had already slung his arms around her tiny frame, pulling her to himself. The vampire planted a soft kiss on his wife's forehead, laughing at the growl it caused.

Edward nuzzled her neck. Much to her distress.

"Would you growl if I kissed you?" His whispered words in her ear still sent a shiver down her spine.

Bella gave him her best glare and tried to push away from her husband but she failed. Long gone were the new born days …

His chuckle rang in her ears, making her sigh unwillingly. She looked at him accusingly.

Edward grinned apologetically and intertwined his large hands with hers as he leaned closer to her flawless face.

"You know I'm going to scream 'Rape' at the top of my lungs …", Bella huffed but the gorgeous vampire kept leaning closer until his lips finally captured hers.

Despite her earlier protests she quickly wrenched her delicate hands from his grasp and tangled them in soft hair. He grinned into the kiss.

"You pretty aggressive for a pregnant lady …", Edward muttered in amusement.

"Oh shut the fuck up and take me to the bedroom already!"

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Reviiiiiiew :D