Hey everyone, I hope your weeks have gone well. Here is another story and I have a question for you at the end. So read on then.
Wally looked down at the stack of letters in his hand impassively. They were all unsent, all addressed to him and dated. All signed by one, Dick Grayson. The same Dick Grayson who had been missing for two months now with no information, the same that, at one time, could have honestly said that Wally West was his best friend and Dick his. Sometimes Wally wondered when Dick stopped being his partner in crime, his best friend, the one who would be his best man, his brother. But it wasn't so and when Wally got a call from the new Robin telling him that Dick had left something for him that was to be given after two months of unexplained disappearance he could actually say he was surprised.
He had no idea what they were he only knew that this was proof that his friend had been gone for such a long time. Nightwing always checked in, always made sure that Bats at the very least knew where he was. But the search had begun a day or two after he vanished and nothing had been found.
"Tell us if you find anything," Robin told him and Wally nodded before going to the Zeta Tubes to go home. He had some reading to do.
. . . . .
Dear Wally. That was all it said, but it was the most relaxed tone, even written, that Wally had heard from his friend in years.
Dear Wally,
You're going out with Artemis now and I'm so happy for you. I don't know why I'm writing this. Maybe I finally decided that it was a good idea, I remember that one time you and I talked about what we would do if we vanished or died and how we didn't want to leave our families and friends just like that. I agreed and we decided to write letters to our families every week and leave them for them just in case. I guess I decided that you had a good idea for once and now I'm doing this. I feel ridiculous Wally. I blame you.
But the point is to write these like you'll leave tomorrow so… You're the best friend I could ever ask for Walls. I mean that. You make all of us laugh, even when we don't want to. Well, except for Artemis, but now that you're together I'm sure you'll manage somehow. Wally! Get your head out of the gutter that was not what I meant! Ugh, we spend too much time together, don't we? Either way, you have helped me more than you can possibly imagine and I can't thank you more for it. You are so lucky Wally. Never forget that. Never forget and believe a little, it won't kill you. That's about it, so, see you Wally.
Dick Grayson, AKA Robin, AKA Your Worst Nightmare
He chuckled at that. It was just so… Dick-like it was ridiculous. He could practically see his thirteen-year-old friend writing it, cackling as he wrote the last line. He moved on to the next.
Dearest Wallman, (Wally groaned. Was there no escaping that name?)
I think that the whole letter a week thing is going to have to be altered. There's no way that I will ever do that. I'm sure, on the daily agenda we have… Wake up, go to school, tease Babs, display my whelmingly awesome mathlete skills, go home, try not to get kidnapped, do homework, train so as not to die or suffer horrid injury, go on patrol, and write Wally's weekly letter. Sorry man, but I do, contrary to popular opinion, value sleep. Lack of it and insomnia do not mean otherwise. So change that schedule to whenever something big happens or I feel like it. For example, right now. It's been six months and you are closer to Arty than you could have dreamed. I'm glad you found your 'spitfire' Wally. She's great for you. After all now you don't have to take a batarang to the head for idiocy, you just have Artemis descending on you. I wonder if that's better or worse.
Speaking of idiocy, I will have you know, Babs is not happy with you right now. You said you would come to her birthday and you didn't. When you see her next I do not envy your position. Hell hath no fury next to a woman scorned and all. And you're on your own, you forgot Friday again. That's the third time in a row. Even Bats and Uncle Barry are getting annoyed with your time-management lately. Of course no one will say anything and you are still my best friend but still, if you're annoying Bruce by missing those things then it should be apparently obvious something is wrong. I hope you see that soon.
Dick
Wally winced. He remembered that time. He and Artemis were so madly in love and they never really fell out of it, but neither of them quite knew how to balance it. Wally, according to everyone else, had a one-track mind like no other and he missed quite a bit. He remembered feeling a bit hurt when Dick and his uncle and some of his other friends stopped inviting him around so much, but he never really thought about it. Wally guessed now that he should have. The next letter came.
Wally,
You weren't there. You promised that you would always be there, especially for today, for visiting… them and you weren't. I waited but you didn't come. I guess it doesn't matter as much anymore, not to you. I doubt you'll ever see this letter, it'll likely be burned or something of the like so might as well let it out. Share your feelings and all that nonsense.
Wally, I don't think that this will work. I think you only have room to love Artemis and the rest of us will fall second. I think that if I do one thing wrong, at this point, you would just stop. Stop being bros and friends and one of the first to know. As a matter of fact I think that you already started to. I'm just waiting for something solid. But then again, if Roy, angsting, guilt-ridden Roy, remembered and it took asking Conner for you to remember and get there too late, as usual, but like you never were before, then maybe it has happened. I don't think you even realize. It all started on New Year's didn't it?
Who knows? Maybe I'm exaggerating. Maybe I'm wrong. I'm only writing this to vent after all, hardly a good basis of comparison. But maybe it is. Before I can repress this and pretend it never happened. But still. You had promised Wally.
Dick
Wally remembered that. He had just left Artemis after a date and went to the Cave expecting Rob to be there. He hadn't hung out with him for a little while. But Conner was the only one there and he asked where Robin was. Conner just glanced up at him before saying "He said something about a cemetery." And Wally remembered. He ran as fast as he could to get there, but when he arrived all that remained were two roses for the parents of his best friend. He finally saw Dick a week later and apologized profusely, but Dick just shook it off and smirked and Wally turned back to Artemis before he could look and see the glimmer of hurt that lurked behind his eyes. He began the next letter before he let himself go on a guilt-trip.
Why? That was all that the letter started with. Why?
We just finished a mission. You weren't there, you had to help Flash back in Central. And during the mission I had to make a call. The rest of the Team was occupied, but Artemis was being overwhelmed.
Wally knew there were new lengths when his friend didn't even use his favorite English mutilation. Actually, Wally couldn't remember the last time he had heard those words.
I was the only one that could help her, but I had to disarm the bomb. I was the only one who could do that as well. It was a choice between teammate and civilian, friend and public and I chose public. Artemis got hurt and she's in the Infirmary. But after the mission and before my injuries were addressed or anyone else's, because Artemis needed it the most, after the debriefing, you came speeding in. You were grinning and you just asked "Where's Artemis?" And everyone looked at me. You turned too and I could see the fear and slowly forming anger on your face. You just asked where she was again and your voice was low and threatening, which was something I never expected. But I still answered you. I told you that she was in the Infirmary and that she had a couple broken ribs and a stab wound but she was stable. And I watched your face grow darker and angrier than I had ever seen it.
And then you speed over and tackled me. You punched me and all I can see right now is you screaming at me, "Where were you?! You were supposed to protect her! How could you let this happen to her! HOW!" I stared up at you and told that it was a choice and that all of us knew the risks, Artemis had even told me to go, we had to protect the civilians, it was our duty. Conner and Kaldur came then, dragging you off of me and you just glared, like you wished that you could have gotten in more hits before. And then you said it, the words I had always dreaded. The words you knew would hurt the most. That you had promised would never be said because they would never be true. "You're becoming what you always feared you would be. You did it, Robin, you followed him completely." And then you shrugged Kal and Conner off and snarled you were going to see Artemis as I stood frozen in your wake. I made some hurried excuse and zeta tubed to Gotham before anyone could see what your words did.
Wally, I know it now. There is no way that we will be able to ever truly be friends, brothers, the way we were again. Moments like these will always linger in the background now and I will never believe your promises again. You've broken too many. I will continue to write these letters, but I highly doubt that I will see you very much anymore. Bats will probably arrange for 'circumstances' to get in the way. I hope that you are happy Wally. I'll leave you alone; I doubt I would help in you reaching that goal anymore.
Dick
Wally knew that time as well. He had still been in that adrenaline-ridden state when he got there and he had a long way to fall and he fell quickly. He had felt guilty, at not being there, at losing control, at quite a bit of things. And Dick had been there. When he heard those words and saw his friend giving them, seemingly calmly, something snapped. And later on, when he realized his own words he had been horrified and had tried to seek Robin out, but there was always some 'appointment' or another that Bruce or Alfred would give him as they gave him a disapproving look that made him feel two inches tall and still shrinking. He never found out if Robin knew about that or not, but whenever he saw him after that Robin made sure to have at least one other with him and interacted to the bare minimum and his teammates didn't help. M'gann would always try to settle the tensions, ever the mediator, and stayed with them because she remembered the last time. Kaldur would fall into a discussion with Robin and they would slowly weave out of the room. And Conner would stand guard nearby. Wally remembered the first time he was alone with the clone after that and how he had just glared and then said, "You made him cry." Like Wally had committed murder.
Wally just looked at him confusedly for a moment. "What?" He finally managed. Conner's glare only seemed to darken at that. "Robin," He growled. "You made him cry. He left near immediately after but I saw the tear before he left. Don't you dare do that or anything similar ever again," Conner ground out before stalking off, leaving a shocked Wally West behind him.
The thought occurred to him now that two clones, both with anger-management issues, identity issues, past and current, as well as relationship issues of any form managed to be better brothers than him. How pathetic was that? He began the next letter.
Wally,
You left the Team today, you and Artemis. And, though I feel like the most awful person ever, I'm almost relieved. The tension between you and I would have eventually caused bigger problems and the lack of trust even more. Thank you for the memories Wally; you were the best bro ever. I don't expect to see you very much, if at all, anymore and I imagine some part of you is glad. I hope that you are happy Wally.
Dick
That note was the shortest yet and Wally could hear the goodbyes clearly. He knew that they weren't just physical either. They were emotional goodbyes, which took place in memory and soul, the most permanent.
Wally,
I'm Team Leader now. I've got the position, the power; the knowledge, everything and I hate it. I know that I will mess up and that it will be completely my fault, that there will be another Tula and I can't stand that thought. I'm scared Wally. I don't want to have to tell someone's parents, siblings, friends, teammates that they will never see that person again. I remember that feeling Wally. I only despise one thing more than that feeling and that is forcing that feeling on someone else. I don't want to do it. But I will, because I can't allow anyone else to. Nobody else should be tainted like that. I guess you were right all those years ago.
Dick
Wally had never thought of this. Dick's place was never considered from Dick's perspective only his own and Artemis'. He had never realized and only now did he know how much he 'hadn't realized'.
Wally,
My brother died today. Jason is gone and you aren't here, you aren't with the Team, you're at your flat with a recording playing telling everyone to leave you two alone because you're busy. And while I don't care if you come for me or not, though I doubt you would now, you should be here for the Team. But you're not and you never will be so I really don't know why I'm writing this. You made your choices clear long ago. I guess I never knew that it would come this far. Whatever, Wally, I'm fairly certain this is uncharitable, but at this point I almost wish that you would chose and stay with that decision. You can't live whichever life you feel like that day; it's unfair to everyone involved. So Wally chose.
Dick
That hit hard. He remembered the devastation, but when he and Artemis got there it was a day too late, too late to bond even closer, too late to save Jason, just too late. And Wally remembered the cool, yet disapproving stare he got from Nightwing as the hero comforted the Team effortlessly. And Wally finally talked to him after that. Nightwing was cold, detached, but he told Wally and Artemis of a plan that Kaldur and he had for infiltrating the Light. And they were included. But Wally forgot again. He didn't see that look, didn't see the Team, and simply didn't see. As a hero it was hard to lose yourself, but as a civilian it was all too easy to just think of your life, you were ordinary, what difference could you make. But that wasn't true and Wally knew that as he began the next.
Wally,
Artemis just left with Kaldur and I can see your stare again. That stare you give me that screams of; 'You'll fail, you don't deserve trust, you will manipulate it beyond belief, everything will go wrong and it will be your fault.' And I can see it too. I just wish that you knew, but I could never tell you now. Tim and Babs are depending on me now with Bruce off planet, I still have to take care of the Team, rescue some members, take care of parts of the Justice League, and try to make sure the two teammates, one 'dead' and one 'rogue' don't die for real this time. I don't know how either. I wish Bruce were here, I wish someone could know. But there is that one phrase, if wishes were fishes there'd be no room for water or something like that. I never liked that phrase. But it holds true now. I'm sorry Wally. I'm sorry for everything.
Dick
That was it. That was the last letter. The last thing Dick Grayson had written to Wally West. And Wally had so much that he wanted to tell him. But he didn't even know where his friend was, if he was alive even. Members of the Batclan were never popular among the people without any reservations on killing. So he might never get to tell his friend what he knew he needed to.
. . . . .
But one week later Wally received another phone call and the voice on the other line was grim and serious.
"We found him."
Okay so for one, what did you guys think and for two should I continue? I made this as a one-shot and deliberately left it hanging, partially because I don't truly know how it ends myself, but I have ideas though there are only two and the real question I guess would be if you want Dick to die or not. Either way he would speak with Wally. However there is an option three and that is having me write both and posting them as ending one and two. Your choice really. So please review and tell me what you thought and if you want me to continue. Have a wonderful week,
SMM