A/N: So, I've had this idea for a while now but haven't really had much of a chance to develop it till recently. Bear in mind that I have a lot of stories in the works (mostly not Castle related), and I have school starting back up in a week, and my life gets extremely busy... But I promise to update this one!

This story is an alternate universe Castle, starting pre-season 1. Yes, it may seem a bit out of character, especially the first few chaptes, but I thought it would be an interesting idea and I ran with it. At this time, I currently have no beta (hint, hint... any takers?) but I do plan on making this a much longer story. Also, any questions on the rating, please send my way. Right now I have it at T, but depending on how people feel, that might change. Heavily references drugs and depression, so if those are triggers for you, stay away. Enjoy, and please read and review!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything having to do with Castle. If I did, the angst level would be much worse. /evil grin/

Richard Castle fought to open his eyes, putting up a struggle for a few long moments before finally being able to reacquaint himself with the waking world. As the lights and sounds flooded his senses, though, he quickly squeezed them shut again. Where was he? His brief glimpse hadn't given him any clues. How did he get here? He had no idea.

Okay, so that maybe was a little bit of a lie. He knew- could tell from the oncoming headache and the dryness of his mouth- just what it was that brought him here, wherever here was. He groaned and covered his face with his hands. It's not your fault, he tried to tell himself. You didn't start this. You were unwittingly slipped the drugs.

He nodded to himself, his logic making sense for the moment. It wasn't his fault... Now to determine where he was. He turned onto his side and was surprised by the feel of a very warm, very naked body beside him. He groaned as he finally forced himself to open his eyes and confront the world around him.

Ow... headache...

Richard forced himself to sit upright and take in his surroundings. It was an unfamiliar apartment, most likely this woman's place. He started growing restless, and forced himself to roll out of bed and quickly throw on his clothes. He took several deep breaths to calm himself, to try and eliminate his shakiness. It helped, but Castle knew of only one thing that could fix the situation entirely.

A wave a guilt and panic crashed over him. He wasn't so bad, was he? He hadn't sunk to that point yet- had he? Richard hastened to remind himself that it wasn't his fault, that the drugs were given to him, that he was the innocent party here. But he wasn't innocent. It was his fault.

He was only slipped the drugs the first time.

Rick hated himself for his actions, for his behavior. He was ashamed, he was loathesome, he deserved death- and God, what he wouldn't do for another hit right now. Just to calm him down a little bit, to get the whirling thoughts out of his head long enough to get him home to see his daughter. He'd be fine as soon as he got home. He was good when he was at home. His home was his haven.

It's not like Richard Castle was a drug addict.

He was fumbling with the button on his pants when the blonde woman in bed beside him stirred and turned to face him with a glazed look in her eyes. "Leaving?" she mumbled sleepily.

Rick blushed slightly for a moment. "Sorry...um, miss... I'm... well, sorry. But, uh, I've got to go to a meeting in like thirty minutes and, uh..."

"Don't you remember my name?"

Castle froze a moment, his eyes widening. "Uh, sure I do. It's... Vanessa? Right? No? You look like a Vanessa."

"It's Cyndi."

"Oh. Well... Anyway, I really gotta go. I'll, um, call you, Cyndi."

"Eh, don't bother. My boyfriend's back in town tomorrow night."

Rick hoped his face didn't betray too much of his surprise before shaking himself out of it and flashing her a smile. "Well then, thanks for a great night." He took off out the front door of her apartment, made his way down the street, and hailed a cab to take him home and sleep it off.

When Rick awoke next, it was to his daughter's disapproving glare. She hovered over his place on the couch, hands on her hips and tapping her foot. He groaned groggily and rubbed at his eyes. "Um, hey there, pumpkin."

"Do you have any idea what time it is?"

Castle frowned in confusion. He glanced out the windows to see it was still daylight out, probably early afternoon. His brow furrowed deeper. "Um... no? Why?"

"It's two thirty."

He adjusted himself so that he was sitting in an upright position. "Is there a point somewhere in here, Alexis? Because to be honest, it's not registering quite well right now-"

"That's exactly my point, Dad!" She spun around and started pacing. "It's the middle of the day, on a Wenesday, in broad daylight, and yet you're asleep on the couch? What's the matter with you?"

Castle's confusion didn't lift. "I'm a creature of the night?"

"Dad." Her tone proved that she was not in the mood for games.

His shoulders slumped. "Sorry."

"Look. I don't care if you don't do anything all day when I'm at school or out with friends, but when I'm so obviously freaked out and nervous about school starting next week and I'm still not quite done with all of my summer assignments..."

Castle's eyes widened and he bolted up off the couch. "Oh! That's right! Sweetie, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize-"

"You know the least you could do is be there for me. At least take me shopping or something- I don't expect you to help with my homework or anything, but-"

"Hey! I take offense to that. I could help you."

She gave him a look. "Really. You want to help with my Algebra 2 packet?"

Castle struggled for a response for a moment racking his brain for any good memories of math and coming up empty handed. "You don't have anything that involves writing?"

Alexis rolled her eyes at him. "Not that you've done much writing lately either."

"Well, maybe I just haven't been inspired enough lately."

"Dad, you killed off Derrick Storm!"

Castle's eyes grew comically wide as he reached for his daughter and covered her mouth with his hand. "Shh!"

"Mmph... Dad!" Alexis spoke, voice muffled.

"No one else knows about that yet!"

She rolled her eyes at him and managed to move his hand and escape his grasp. "You're ridiculous!" But Alexis couldn't hide her laughter at his antics.

"Come on. You love it."

She grinned. "Well, regardless. My point is you haven't been doing anything lately, except getting yourself into trouble."

Castle's face fell and his eyes grew wide at the implications. "I have not!"

"Dad..."

His heart started beating faster. What did she know? How did she figure it out? He'd done his best to keep himself looking and acting normal... well, relatively. After all, normal for him wasn't quite the same as normal for most people-

"Sleeping until two thirty in the afternoon and staying out all night at bars or clubs isn't exactly what I would call keeping out of trouble. And you reek of alcohol."

Castle let out a brief sigh of relief before picking at his shirt and sniffing it. "I do not," his voice trailed off as the scent of tequila and various other smells drifted up. He wrinkled his nose. "Well, maybe I could do with a shower," he conceded.

"You think?" His daughter rolled her eyes at him.

"Okay, fine. I'll go clean myself up real quick and then we'll head out and go school shopping. Sound good?"

"Dad, I don't want you to just do this because I said something-"

"No, no. You're right. I need to get back involved in my life, and freshman year is a big deal, and I should be supportive and you deserve all of it. I'll be cleaned up in ten minutes. Fifteen, tops. All right?"

"Okay, but I'm timing you starting now, so you'd better hurry on up..."

Rick Castle had already bolted off to his bedroom and ran to the shower, chased by the sound of his fourteen year old daughter's laughter.

A/N: Reviews? Throw me a bone here... ;) More to come soon.