EDIT: It seems fanfiction deleted some of the words. So I went back and fixed them (I hope).
This was written at 3am in the morning due to insomnia induced hyperactivity. So beware. Well, I actually thought it was funny, but again, that could be the insomnia induced hyperactivity talking.
Tell me if you think it's horrible. Along with nice comments, telling me about your intense hatred of anything in my story is encouraged. Have fun!
Disclaimer; I don't own Harvest Moon, , , or any of the song lyrics. I basically don't own anything.
Molly stands in her small kitchen with a small smile framing her pretty face. Her reddish brown hair falls lightly around her face, and her big, chestnut eyes sparkle with happiness.
In her hand she holds an orange, large, and it's so beautiful it looks as if it should sparkle.
Actually, it is sparkling. Strange... Well that's beside the point, it's a delicious looking orange.
"Chase will just love some fresh orange juice this morning!" She exclaims before she giggles and chucks the wonderful looking orange into a blender and blends it.
Oh yes, she blends it; rind and all.
She blends it to her hearts content. When she's happy with the consistency, she pours the 'orange juice' into a cup. Although the 'orange juice' just looks like an orange put through the blender, which is what it is, she beams with pride.
Suddenly though, her husband Chase comes running (no pun intended) up to her. He stops in front of her and rests his hands on his knees, he breathes heavily. "Molly! Gwen, our daughter-"
"I made you orange juice!" Molly exclaims, cutting of Chase, and she holds out the blended up orange to said spouse.
He stands up, a look of confusion replacing the one of panic. He looks to the 'juice', then to his wife, then to the blender, and back to the 'juice'. "Did you just put a whole orange in the blender?" He questions.
"Yes! And now I have fresh orange juice to give to my hubby!" She exclaims happily.
He looks even more confused. "What on earth gave you the idea that that's how you make orange juice?
She pouts at him and brings the 'juice' closer to her body. "Well, at fogu it said that if you put an orange in the blender, it gives you orange juice. So that's what I did!"
Chase rolls his eyes and slaps his forehead with his palm. "That's not how you make orange juice. You have to squeeze the juice out of them!"
Molly lifts her head up smugly and 'humphs' in a fit of stubbornness.
Chases eyes suddenly turn worried again and his countenance turns urgent. "Anyway!" he yells, "Gwen, she's gone missing! I can't find her anywhere!"
Molly releases her hold on the 'orange juice', a look of absolute terror marks her features as the glass shatters on the ground. "WHAT! But- but I was going to force her into child labor today!" She falls to the ground in misery, sobs resonating from the core of her very being; the complete image of a broken woman.
Chase kneels down next to his wife and gives her a hug. "It's okay Honey, we'll find her. And anyway, there's only 44 people living on this island, nothing bad will happen to her. Then you can overwork her as much as your little heart desires."
Molly looks up at Chase and sniffles, hot tears still running down her face. "R-really?"
He smiles at her warmly. "No. Mainly because I don't think it's a good idea to force child labor on our daughter, but you can dream." A scowl forms on the man's face. "Will you please wipe you nose? It's kind of grossing me out."
Molly complies with her husbands request as she grabs his apron and proceeds to wipe her snot on the black material.
A look of complete horror overtakes Chase's face.
A wide smile breaks forth on Molly's features and she jumps from her spot on the ground energetically; Chase remains kneeling on the ground, frozen with horror. "Alright! Time for plan A!" Molly screams, a wave of determination and enthusiasm overtaking her.
Chase hugs his body in obvious discomfort anddesks consciousness; a deep frown twists the corners of his mouth downward as he looks side to side repeatedly. "I-I feel so naked!" He screams in sorrow.
Yes, that's right. Chase is not wearing his apron. He's left in only a white button down, and pants. On top of that, he's not wearing his apron in public; the two are crossing the bridge into Harmonica Town.
"I think it's a nice change, and I'll wash it when we get home." Molly soothes with a small smile on her face as she pats her husband's shoulder. "It's kind of disturbing anyway, I mean, you wear that thing to sleep, you even wear it in the shower."
Chase sniffles and hangs his head in sadness, still wrapping his arms around his body. He's reminiscent to little boy who's lost his bankey (blanket).
"By the way," Chase says, lifting his head up, coming to terms that he cannot wear he beloved apron at the moment. "What's plan A?
"Oh nothing much." Molly replies, swatting her hand back and forth as if shooing a fly. "We're just going to go to town hall to issue a missing child."
"Oh... Well, that's not what I was expecting. But good idea."
With that they make it to town hall and walk through the door. Mayor Hamilton, the fat little midget mayor, sits behind the counter winking and wriggling his eyebrows at his reflection in a small handheld mirror.
"Mayor!" Molly screams out and the salutes to the small man.
Mayor Hamilton doesn't stop looking at his reflection and lifts his pointer finger signaling for them to wait a moment. He smiles, winks and wriggles his eyebrows at his reflection one more time before he sets the mirror down.
"What is it soldier?" Hamilton asks.
Molly slams her palm down on the counter and looks Hamilton straight in the eye. "My husband Chase an I have reason to believe that the kappa has eaten our daughter!"
Chase jumps, completely flabbergasted. "What?! We never said anything about that!"
"Hmmm" Hamilton places his thumb and pointer finger on his chin in a thoughtful fashion. "This is quite the predicament. I should warn the other townspeople."
The fat man suddenly stands from his highchair and walks to a small contraption that says 'emergency broadcast microphone' above it. You see, Harmonica town recently installed a large speaker in the town square... and in every building on the island.
He holds the microphone to his lips. "HIDE YO KIDS, HIDE YO WIFES, HIDE YOU HUSBANDS, CUZ THE KAPPA'S EATIN' EV'RYBODY OUT HE'R!" Hamilton even went as far as making hand gestures and talking with duck lips.
He places the microphone down, and returns to his highchair and looks at the couple calmly. "I'm sorry, but I can't do anything more." He picks up his mirror and begins making kissy faces at his reflection.
Since the mayor has entered his own little world called narcissism, Molly and Chase exit town hall without a thank you.
Unnoticed to the couple however, the whole town is in shambles. Some residents run in circles screaming, others (mainly just Hayden) are curled on the ground crying. Luna, has even tied her daughter Vivian to her back, and resorts to screaming obscenities at anyone who come near them.
Chase turns to his wife, completely ignoring the chaos. "I thought you were going to issue a missing child!" He puts his hands on his hips furrows his brows.
Molly looks at him confused. "What? Oh yeah. I changed my mind; I think that it's much more likely that Gwen was eaten by the kappa." She pauses. "Time for plan B!"
Molly and Chase's heads poke out from behind a large bush. They stare intently at a giant live trap containing Chloe that sits about two feet away from them.
"Why on earth are we hiding behind a bush again?" Chase asks, his voice loud.
"Shhhhhh!" Molly shushes Chase, and pushes him lower behind the bush. "Look," She whispers, her eyes showing how serious she is. "Everyone knows kappa's have a thing for cucumbers, and human children. So that's why we've-"
"You've."
"-Set up a giant live trap and put Chloe holding a bowl of cucumbers in there for bait."
"Isn't that inhumane?" Chase asks, still talking above a whisper.
"Yes." Molly answers, completely to the point. "But calm down, Chloe's a masochist. She readily agreed to be bait for a kappa."
Excited giggles come from Chloe who sits in the live trap next to the bush.
Chase sighs and looks down, shaking his head back and forth, completely ignoring Chloe. "Why did I marry you again?"
Molly looks at him, Her chestnut eyes squinted in hurt. Her mouth falls open in shock as she holds her hand to her heart and clenches her fist. "How could you forget? I gave you orange juice every day! Duh! That's what fogu told me to do!"
"Oh yeah."
Suddenly the sound of footsteps approaching fill the air. Molly shushes Chase again and they both sink lower behind the bush.
Happy squeals resonate from Chloe as the shadow approaches her.
"Shut up Chloe...!" Molly whisper-yells to the young girl.
The shadow approaches the cage until it stands right next to it. Suddenly, when it stops moving, the shadow materializes into the Harmonica Town kappa! Molly 'aha's' in satisfaction, Chase gasps, and Chloe screams in ecstasy.
Instead of the normal 'I'm-going-to-eat-you' vibe that a kappa normally puts off however, he seems almost... Psychedelic?
Yes psychedelic. The plate atop his head is ringed with a flower crown, a brightly colored, tie-dyed vest clothes his figure, and a sitar hangs on his back.
"Don't fear little sister." The kappa drones. "I'm here to release you from this giant live tr-"
Before the kappa can finish, Molly jumps from the bush and tackles it. "DIE KAPPA! Why did you eat my daughter?!" she then proceeds to punch the kappa senseless.
The kappa struggles, but he manages to talk through the beating. "H-hold on sister, I didn't eat you're little your little groove munchkin!
Chase, albeit with more hassle then there should be, pulls his wife from the kappa.
"Thanks for the help man, I dig it."
"N-no problem..." Chase responds, as he holds onto his wife's shoulders, taken aback by the kappas speech.
"So, as I was saying-"
"Hello? Human child holding cucumbers here!"
"I didn't eat the little peace lover, man." The kappa starts, making motions that resemble waves with his hands." I split the kid eating scene long ago, man. I'm on an all cucumber diet. You dig?"
"Hmmm..." Molly puts her hand on her chin in thought. "Well, that totally dispels my theory. Dang it!" She then snaps her fingers in frustration, a scowl forming on her face.
"Honey, shouldn't we be happy our daughter wasn't eaten alive?" Chase asks his wife as he puts his hand on her shoulder.
The kappa swings his sitar around to where he would be able to play it and does another strange hand gesture. "Well I'm splitting this scene to share the groovy thing called peace with others!"
With that he turns and walks away; he begins to play his instrument, a soft meloringingly through the air. "Secret tunnel, secret tunnel, secret tunnel!" The kappa's soft tune can be heared until he disappears into the distance.
Molly wipes the tear falling from her eye and Chase stands with a dreamy expression marking his features as he pulls his wife closer to him. "T-that was so beautiful!" Molly chokes out as she leans her head on Chase's shoulder.
"So," Chloe speaks up, shattering the beautiful moment. "If the kappa's not going to eat me, can I stay in this cage?"
"No!" Molly yells, detaching herself from her husband. "We need that for plan C!"
Chase's whole face wrinkles up in confusion, and slight fear. "We need the live trap again?"
After a small interlude of trying to get Chloe out of the trap, and eventually succeeding, Molly and Chase went on to their third attempt at finding their daughter.
The two sit high in a tree in Fugue Forest. They stare downwards at the giant live trap, this time containing books. History books, travel books, novels, and for good measure, comic books.
Why does the live trap contain books? Well, let's listen in.
"You're completely sure you put all the books we own in there?" Molly asks Chase, balancing herself on a tree branch.
"Yes." He assures her and positions himself into a more comfortable position. "Why are you so obsessed with the books anyway?"
She looks him dead in the eye and a frown of determination twists her mouth downwards. "Gwen loves books." She says, and Chase slowly nods his head up and down; confirming her statement. "She's always talking about 'knowledge' and 'not wanting to be fooled' and 'books'." Chase nods again. "I know because that's the personality I picked for her."
"You picked our daughters personality?" He shakes his head back and forth. "Wait, let me guess; fogu. "
Molly crinkles her nose and scowls. "No, what are you stupid? Fogu's got that all messed up. I went to ranchstory."
He sighs.
"So, as I was saying. It's getting late, it'll be night in just a couple hours and we know she wasn't eaten. So I thought, what better plan is there than putting books in a live trap to lure our daughter to us?"
"Your plan is to lure our daughter into a trap as if she were a raccoon?"
Molly smiles happily and nods smugly, proud of her idea. "YUP!" Her face turns dead serious as rustling bushes sound from beneath them. "Shhh, someone's coming...!"
Gill's head pops up from behind a bush, he lifts his nose high and sniffs the air. His platinum blond hair has twigs sticking in every direction, and his prissy vest is askew. Ever so slowly, Gill emerges from the bush;
Walking on all fours.
He crawls over to the trap and sniffs it cautiously, all while eyeing the pile of books.
"Crap...! We've-
"You've."
"-Attracted the wrong book nerd!"
Suddenly Gill jumps back from the cage and looks in all directions. The cause of his alertness soon makes itself present. The sound of trees falling to the ground and repeated sound an ax hitting tree trunks rings through the forest.
Luke jumps through the bushes next to the tree inhabited by Chase and Molly, swinging his ax like a madman. "I SMELL COMIC BOOKS!"
Molly rests her hand on her cheek and her mouth falls agape. "déjà vu."
Chase looks at his wife in complete discombobulation. "WHAT?!"
Luke, who remains swinging his ax like a madman, swings and hits the tree holding Molly and Chase, timbering it. The couple fall out of the tree, slamming against the ground.
While Molly and Chase lay on the ground in pain, Luke points his ax at Gill, who still walks on all fours. "Stay away from the live trap, pretty boy, those comic books are mine!"
Gill only hisses at the lumberjack, preparing himself for battle.
Molly jumps up and immediately starts chanting 'fight' repeatedly. Chase, however, still lays on the ground. He sits up and his hair falls into his face. A look of horror once again crosses his features and his violet eyes are wide with shock. "M-MY HAIRCLIPS! THEY'RE GONE!"
Chase immediately starts having a panic attack, he also keeps mumbling something about his 'power source'.
Chase, however, is nowhere near as exciting as the duel that is about to happen, so we move back to Gill and Luke.
A vein pops from Luke's forehead in anger as Gill once again hisses at him. "I'm going to cut you up man!"
"WOOO!" Molly cheers from the sidelines, ignoring her husband's cries of agony.
Luke advances toward Gill, his ax held above his head ready to chop. Gill, unafraid swipes his hand at Luke. "I'm gonna cut you up man!" Luke yells once again.
Before he can strike though, Chloe comes from out of nowhere and jumps in front of Gill. "NO! Cut me up Luke! Please!"
Luke stops his ax in midair, freezing, and he stares at Chloe confused. Poor guys brain can't take it.
In the silence though, a soft melodious tune echoes through the forest. "Secret tunnel, secret tunnel, secret tunnel!" The kappa dances through the bushes ad into the into the glade. As he takes in the scene around him, his mouth falls open and a look of horror matching Chase's comes over his face.
So, the scene taking place in a usually quiet glade is this. Chase lays in the derbies of a fallen tree, past out and drooling from his loss of power. Molly stands cheering and screaming, almost to the point of foaming at the mouth. Luke stands with his ax raised above his head, taking aim at a little girl who's begging to be cut up. And Gill standing on all four limbs behind said little girl, hisses his heart out. And last but not least, a hippe kappa looks aghast at everything.
"Woah!" Hippie Kappa, shouts. "Woah! Brothers, sisters, what's going down? This is so totally not far out!"
Everyone stares at him.
"Here, let me spread the message of peace through this groovy little beat!" He grasps back in to his sitar and begins playing.
When I was young my parents raised me right,
My dad sang me Beatles songs every night.
Mom cooked organic meals with homemade desserts,
Everyday I went to school wearing tiedied shirts.
I was taught to love and taught not to hate-
And so continued Hippie Kappa's song.
Luke lowered his ax and a tear fell from his eye. Molly stopped her vicious cheering and began sobbing because of the beautiful song. Chase still lay unconscious on the ground. Gill finally stands on two legs. And Chloe is upset because the song isn't causing her pain.
We know one thing though; plan C was a failure.
Chase stands in front of a mirror back inside the house he shares with wife Molly and his daughter Gwen. He replaces his new hair clips in his hair and smiles; power rushing back into him. He then ties a clean apron back on to his body.
All better.
But then he frowns; they never did find Gwen, and now it's dark out. He turns around and see's his wife siting on the couch, sobbing. "Honey, I'm sure Gwen's ok." He assures her. "But I'm going to go search." He nods in determination.
"No!" Molly yells, surprising her husband. "I'm not crying because I'm worried about Gwen, that beautiful song that Hippie Kappa sang touched my heart and I just can't stop crying!" She lays her face in her hands and sobs again.
"O-k" He pays her shoulder. "But I'm going out to search.
She looks up at him shocked. "But we haven't gone through with plan D yet!"
Chase's lips form a pout to show he's sorry. "Molly I'm sorry, but I don't think we have Ike for plan D. We need to find her soon."
Molly waves her hand nonchalantly, shooing his notion. "Oh, it won't take long." She says. "All we have o do is use the tracking device."
"What?"
"The tracking device. I place a chip on everyone that I meet. That includes Gwen." she replies.
"Wait... So you placed a tracking chip on me?" His blinks and points to himself, somewhat aghast.
"Duh. How else do you think I found you whenever I needed?
Chase shakes his head repeatedly, as if shaking her comment from his head. He recovers, but then his visage takes on one of quiet anger. "Why in earth wasn't that plan A!
"I had forgotten about it." With that she plucks a device from her pocket selects 'Gwen'. "Look at that! It's says she on our farm!"
As soon as Molly says those words, the door opens and closes, revealing a young girl with peach hair, and violet eyes that match her fathers.
"Gwen!" Chase and Molly run to the girl, and she hugs both of them; her eyes red and puffy from crying.
"What happened?" Chase acquires of his daughter after giving her a hug.
Gwen sniffles. "I went to school this morning with Vivian." She starts, and her parents face's take in a look that screams 'why didn't we think of that?'
Gwen continues though. "And then suddenly there was this announcement about kappas! Vivian and I thought nothing of it, but then all of a sudden Vivian's mom burst through the school doors holding rope! Then she grabbed Vivian and tied her to her back. She went completely mentally insane!"
She stops there and shivers as if remembering a gruesome detail. "Lune started screaming obscenities at everyone and wouldn't even let Mr. Gill touch Vivian. Then Dr. Jin came and shot Luna with a tranquilizer gun, this mortified Mr. Gill because he though Dr. Jin murdered Luna. Mr. Gill's defense mechanism kicked in, which apparently turns him into a cat."
Gwen takes a deep, shaky breath as her parents stare in shock at her story. "After comforting Vivian for a little while, I was taken in by makeshift police officer Perry for questioning. And after a couple hours of questioning, Mayor Hamilton came in shouting 'DIE ZOMBIE' at me! I-I think I'm going to need therapy..."
Molly hugs her daughter and runs her hair in a comforting manner. "You know what's good thereby, sweetie?"
Gwen's voice muffles together from her face being pressed against Molly's shoulder. "What?"
"Massive amounts unlawful child labor."
Chase's palm connects with his own forehead. Why does he love this woman?
So, tell me if you thought it was funny, or extremely dumb. And yes, I know the 'hide yo husbands' thing is incredibly over used, but I couldn't resist. And note: This story was completely random. When I wrote Gill as a cat, there was no reason for it besides that what's my split second decision was. It was the same with everything in this story. And I didn't proofread it either, sorry.