Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the hub
Not a coffee was pending, not a cup or a mug.
The stockings were hung by the hothouse without care,
In hopes that Ianto might soon find them, as his butt was so bare.
The team were nestled all snug at their desks,
While Myfanwy rustled and cawed softly, up in her nest.
And Gwen at her computer, and I in my coat,
Had just settled our brains for a long whining mope.
When from out on office there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the porn site to see what was the matter.
Away to the office I flew like a flash,
Tore open the door as Ianto did the dash.
The moon was immense and Ianto was blushing
Gave the flash of pale flesh to others below, looking.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a giggling Captain, and his own naked rear.
With a big bobbing todger, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment Jack it must be looking to dip his wick.
More rapid than Weevils on heat he came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called Ianto pet names!
"Now, Tiger! now, Darling! now, Sweetling my love!
On, baby! Come on, Holdfast! My sweet turtle dove!
To the top of the desk! to the side of the wall!
Now bash away! Let me bash away! Bash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
With glee Jack swept the desk of papers by.
So up to the desk poor Ianto did go,
With the snarl of rage as he told Jack 'NO!".
And then, in a twinkling, I saw as Jack grinned and winked
Then he seized Ianto and kissed him in a matter of a blink.
As I drew back my head, and was turning around,
Down the stairs Jack came with a bound.
He was dressed in no coat just one sock and a boot,
And his naked bits flapping as he still wanted his root.
A yelling, naked Welshman he had flung on his back,
And he looked like he might kill him, reaching for a knife from the rack.
His arse cheeks how they glowed! His dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his balls were not hairy!
His smart little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the skin of his arse was as white as the snow.
The now acquired knife he held tight in his hand,
And the snarl as he wriggled, trying to stand.
He had a shocked face and a Captain that looked shocked too,
That knife shaken at him made him look like a fool!
He had a chubby and whined, as he realized Ianto was pissed,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of Tosh's hiss!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke a soft word, but went straight to his knees,
And lifted the ring box, then Ianto gasps as he sees.
And sliding the ring on his finger did eliminate their woes,
And giving a nod, Jack crowed as he rose!
He sprang to the doorway, to his team gave a whistle,
And they all flew to see like the down of a thistle.
But I heard Ianto exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"You bastard Jack, I'm naked and in the kitchen I'll not be the wife!"
As they raced away, to seal the deal back in their bed
A thought did occur, it just popped into my head
They came down the stairs both jay-bird naked, Except for Jack in a boot and a sock
No pocket in which to hide such a rock
This thought did chew at me, I puzzled at the thing,
Where the fuck did he get that ring?