Chapter 1

One can feel the electricity of war in the air. It is certain, inevitable. The world is changing, and with change, there is conflict. Only, I am in a game of love and loss. I do not want war. I want to love, I want to live, but the world seems to be fighting against me, making living harder and harder to do.

I feel that there will be much to fight in the months to come but I'm ready for combat. Not a physical war but a mental one, one where I am not fighting another living being but the world itself, my world. I will fight to continue to live and love for I have already lost once in this crazy game and I can't afford to lose again.

Sira sat at the kitchen table with her friend, Calypso. Around them, papers were scattered everywhere, covering the table with its disarray. She hand a quill in her right hand as her bright, blue eyes gazed down at her paper. All of her attention was on that piece of paper while Cal's was traveling around the room from the window to the doorway, from her pale-gold hair to her fingernails.

The last few weeks had been busy for them with the Death Eaters being extremely active and, on top of that, they had to plan Cal's wedding. This had kept Sira busier than when she was with the Death Eaters for she wanted everything to be perfect for her friend. She already owed her so much for her support through the last year so this was the least she could do.

"Okay, Cal," Sira said as her blue eyes looked up from her paper and her vacant hand went into her dark-brown, loosely-curly hair, "can I read you the guest list? I only have Death Eaters right now." Cal's attention turned to Sira as a smile flashed across her face.

"Sure, Sira," she said quickly.

"I have Alecto Carrow, Amycus Carrow, Antionin Dolohov, Avery, Bellatrix, Crabbe, Gibbon, Goyle, the Malfoy's, Nott, Severus Snape, Thorfinne Rowle, Travers, Walden Macnair," she listed proudly, "Worm-."

"Eww, no. He's not coming," Cal interrupted rapidly and Sira scratched Wormtail from the list.

"Jugson, Mulciber," Sira started again, "Yaxley-."

"No," Cal spat at the name. She had never like Yaxley. She thought that he was too cocky and full of himself and Sira scratched him off the list as well.

"Rabastan Lestrange," Sira stated, waiting for Cal to make a comment, "Rodolphus Lestrange, Selwyn, and the Dark Lord." Sira looked at Cal, who had a look of disgust on her face. They shook their head together and Sira crossed off the Dark Lord. He wouldn't come anyway so why bother?

"Sira, you forgot two people," Cal stated with a playful smile on her face.

"We don't have Lark's list yet or the family list so we'll be missing people," she said as she read through her list again.

"Yes, but you forget two people on this list," Cal stressed.

"Who?" she asked, sounding completely baffled. She had triple checked the list and there was absolutely no one she forgot.

"You and Scabior!" Cal shrieked with a bit of spirited laughter in her voice. Sira shook her head as she wrote her name and Scabior's down on the paper, not believing that she forgot herself and her fiancé. Her cheeks reddened a bit with the thought of him. He had helped her so much just as Cal had. He had stabilized her; he had become her rock, her Sirius. She rolled her eyes, causing her thoughts to break, as Lark, Cal's fiancé, walked into the kitchen.

"Busy planning?" he asked as he pulled up a chair beside Cal. She gazed at him sweetly as her ice-blue eyes glittered with her passion and Lark smiled at her.

"Yes, do you know who you want to invite, Lark?" Sira asked quickly as she looked up at him. He was much more like the Lark she met in Azkaban, before she ever played with his heart, when he was with Cal, which made Sira happy. She didn't want Lark to suffer from what she did to him, and, even though he still hated her, he finally seemed to be accepting her as a nice person and not a sick, twisted piece-of-filth that deserved to rot in prison.

"Sure, and I'll write them down for you, too," he said and she handed him the paper and the quill. "Okay," he mumbled as he set the list down in front of him. "Edward, Jacob, Seth, Nicholas," he muttered as he scribbled down the names, "Antonio, Philip, Fredric, Vladimir, Damien, Red, Michael, Cade, Reese, Marcus, Victor, Mathew, Jonathan, James, Robert, Lucas, Adam, Xavier." He read through his list quickly and then handed it back to Sira. She gave him a little, friendly smile and read through it too.

"So, Lark, how does it feel to soon be a married man?" she asked kindly as she looked into his emerald-green eyes.

"It's the most wonderful feeling in the world," he explained avidly, "especially knowing that I will spend the rest of my life with the woman that I can't live without." Cal flashed him a big smile as she continued to gaze at him with desire in her eyes. "So when's your wedding, Sira? Aren't you engaged to Scabior?" he asked with a hint of the old coldness returning to his eyes.

"Yeah, but we haven't made a date," she explained softly. "We want to wait until our lives slow down a bit, when everything settles down. I'm just guessing that it'll be sometime next year." She didn't like to talk about when she was getting married; she didn't want to rush into it because she and Scabior had time, all the time in the world.

"Ah, okay," Lark said slowly as his attention returned to Cal. He put his arm around her shoulders and smiled at her. He leaned in close and Sira felt like she was intruding on a special moment. She stood from her chair and started to walk quietly out of the kitchen.

"Sira, where are you going?" Cal asked, causing her to turn around and gaze at her friend.

"I was going to leave you two alone," she stated sheepishly as ran her hand through her dark-brown hair, "but if you don't want me to go, I won't and we can keep working." Cal gave her a kind, friendly smile

"I've had enough planning for today so if you want to go, you can," she said happily with a little laughter in her voice. "I just was going to remind you of the meeting tonight, the very important, mandatory meeting tonight." Yes, the Death Eater meeting, Sira told herself, I almost forgot.

"Yes," she breathed, "I was going to go early."

"Then you better get going," Cal said playfully, "because I know that you mean an hour before when you say early and it's nearly that time." Sira rolled her eyes, even though Cal was right about her definition of early. She headed out of the kitchen and down the hallway to the front door, only pausing to open it. Once she was outside, she drew her wand from her hip as she closed the door. The fresh air invigorated her as she breathed it in deeply. With a soft pop, she vanished from the doorstep and the warm night.

She found herself on the doorstep of the Malfoy Manor and quickly knocked on the door. Her eyes gazed off into the night as she waited, thinking about everything other than the Death Eaters' business here tonight. She heard of the 'release' of the Death Eaters from Azkaban and was eager to talk to Lucius because she wanted to prove to him that she was not crazy, as he thought so, and to brag a little about her single-handed escaped from imprisonment. She wasn't going to milk the fact that she used Lark, more that she actually escaped.

The door of the house opened and she smiled at the person in the doorway. "Hello, Lucius," she breathed as he gazed at her with his cold, grey eyes but he couldn't hide the old longing that flared within them.

"Hello, Sira," he said in a rough voice, desperately trying to hide his passion and his desire. He ushered her into the house and closed the door quickly behind them. He gazed at her with a mixture of fear, concern, and worry that shone in his eyes as his body moved closer to hers, she could feel the heat radiating off of him. "I need to speak with you," he whispered into her ear, "in private."

"Of course, Lucius," she said back and he led her to and up the staircase and into a study that seemed to be barely used for it looked untouched and perfect. He closed the door behind her and put a charm on the room, so no one could hear their conversation, before turning to her. "What's wrong?" He shot her a completely baffled look.

"What's wrong? Where do I start? I was released from Azkaban to find that my home was taken by the Dark Lord, that Draco was assigned to kill Dumbledore and, if he didn't, he would be killed instead, that Narcissa was forced to suffer through all of this, and that you didn't do anything to help her," he explained in a vicious growl. "She's your friend, you should've done something." A look of utter shock covered her face. Was he blaming her for all of this?

"Lucius, let's remember that I was in Azkaban," she hissed, agitated with him.

"For like two months!" he barked savagely.

"What was I supposed to do?" she asked in a growl as anger filled her blue eyes. "I can't go against our Lord's wishes so I couldn't do anything to stop him. If I did, I would lose the last shred of trust that he has in me. I can't afford to be a traitor again to him, Lucius! I just can't!"

"When did you start caring about trust? You never used to and now I'm the one, my whole family's the one that he doesn't trust anymore," he snapped as his grey eyes burned with his fury. "I lost it in Azkaban and I don't even know how!" He slammed his hand on a writing desk, the sound causing her to stiffen. His breathes came in pants with his wrath. The tension was thick in the air as they gazed at each other, not saying a word.

"Lucius, this last year has been difficult for everyone," she said, finally breaking the silence, "and it's been especially difficult for your family and me." She paused, thinking if this was the right time for an apology for her causing him and his family to suffer. "I'm sorry if I messed everything up for you." He gave her a puzzled look as some of the fire left his eyes. "If you didn't love me, you would've been able to escape that day in the Department of Mysteries, Lucius, meaning that you wouldn't have gone to Azkaban. Then, Draco wouldn't have to been ordered to do that task, Narcissa wouldn't have suffered, and your family wouldn't have lost the Dark Lord's trust. None of this would be happening if it wasn't for me." He shook his head and ran his hand through his white-blond hair.

"You can't blame yourself for what has happened to my family," he breathed as his grey eyes looked at her, they were soft and caring. "It's not your fault and I shouldn't have blamed you for anything either. It's out of our control and I'm sorry for blaming you. You didn't deserve to be blamed." He moved to her, causing her to back up against the wall. His eyes showed his longing as he cupped her face, a shot of fear went through her.

"Lucius," she hissed as she pushed him away, disgusted with him, "we can't do that anymore. I'm engaged to be married." A startled look covered his face.

"What? When did this happen?" he asked, sounding completely baffled. "With who?"

"I'm engaged with Scabior," she said lightly. "He asked me a while ago." Suddenly, the door to the room opened and Draco, Lucius's son, walked in. he closed the door and his eyes filled with horror as he looked at them. Even though she had pushed Lucius away, he still had her against the wall and was too close to be taken as friendly.

"Father, what are you doing?" Draco asked in a growl as rage entered his eyes. "What are you thinking? We already have a bad reputation with all the Death Eaters and now I find you with a filthy half-blood in a room alone. What? Are you cheating on mother?" He stepped closer to his father, brimming with his fury. "Are you cheating on mother with a no-good, piece-of-filth half-blood that doesn't even know her boundaries? How can you do this, father? How can you do this to your family?" Lucius stepped away from her and faced his son, anger burning viciously in his eyes and through his body.

"We didn't do anything, Draco," he snarled cruelly. "We weren't doing anything and how dare you speak to your father in that tone!" Draco let out a little snicker as his eyes grew colder.

"You're the reason we've lost the Dark Lord's trust," he hissed as he stepped closer to his father again, "and it doesn't help when someone finds you alone with a half-blood. And about my tone, I can say whatever I want to you. You have ruined my life!" they stared at each other furiously as Sira edge her way over to the door very slowly and silently. Once she reached it, she opened it and slipped out but not before hearing Lucius' last comment.

"Draco, what no one knows will never hurt them," he growled in a low but harsh voice. Sira slid out into the hall and closed the door gently behind her. She turned and headed down the hall to find where the Death Eater meeting was being held, concern flaring in her chest as she wondered if Draco would tell anyone what he had seen.