Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek: The Next Generation, but I did once accept a second summer job (during a summer overstuffed with coursework) specifically so I could afford to buy all the episodes on DVD. Please don't sue me or steal my story!
Note: Here is another one-shot fragment from my unfinished stories folder. It's been lurking in my computer for a long, long time, but only tonight did it finally come together, stimulated - I must admit - by the marvelous reviews I got on my previous story "Best Friends." Thank you!
This story takes place directly after the events related in the episode "The Naked Now," and Tasha's mandate to Data that "It Never Happened." When it comes to such matters, my brain is pretty solidly G-Rated, so any direct allusions to said non-event will be quite vague. I just hope you'll enjoy my story!
Trust
By Rowena Zahnrei
Shift change was always a busy, bustling time on the Enterprise bridge. For some five to ten minutes following the normal operational debriefings as one shift stepped down and the other took its place, the crew's professional face melted away as friends exchanged jokes and made plans to meet up when off duty.
Normally, Lt. Commander Data observed this social interaction with eager interest, but today he barely looked up from his science station.
His friend Lt. Geordi LaForge, the ship's blind navigation officer, jogged up the ramp from the lower bridge and clapped the pale android on the shoulder.
"Hey, Data," he said with a smile. "Don't tell me you're pullin' another shift after all we've been through today!"
"I am running a check to make sure all the ship's systems have returned to normal function," Data replied without looking up. "It seems the crew unwittingly caused a great deal of damage while under the influence of the polywater intoxicant we contracted from the SS Tsiolkovsky."
"Yeah…" Geordi acknowledged, struggling to shake off the embarrassing memories.
No one on the ship had been immune to the strange, highly inebriating water molecule that had temporarily robbed the crew of their reason and common sense – not even Data with his positronic brain.
"Well, how much longer do you think you'll be at this?"
"Not much longer," Data said. "Most of the effects are minor and easily repaired."
"You think you'll be done by seventeen hundred hours?"
"Certainly. Why do you ask?"
Geordi brightened.
"Chief O'Brien's got this new kayak program he wants to try out on the holodeck. He invited me along and told me to bring a friend, so I'm asking you."
"I do not know how to kayak," Data said.
"Neither do I," Geordi said. "But the Chief's pretty excited about it, and it sounds kind of fun. So, you wanna come?"
Data tilted his head, considering. Then, he nodded.
"I shall be there, Geordi."
"Great!" Geordi beamed and headed for the far turbolift. "We'll meet outside Holodeck 2. See you then!"
Data nodded and watched the lift doors close, but his attention was focused, not on Geordi, but on the woman he could just pick out with his peripheral vision. She was leaning casually against the tactical console, talking with Lt. Worf and another security officer, Ensign Calloway, who had just arrived for his shift. Noting from their body language that the little group was on the verge of breaking up, Data quickly rerouted his scans to display their results at his own workstation in his quarters, then logged off Science Two.
"And don't forget," Tasha was saying as she strode into the turbolift. "Training starts at 0800 sharp! Be there."
She was smiling when she turned to face the lift doors, but that smile quickly faded when she saw Data had entered the lift with her.
If Data noticed, it didn't show in his expression.
"Deck Eleven," the android said, and turned his calm, golden eyes to her. "Is that your destination as well, Lieutenant?"
"Huh what? Uh, no," Tasha said, running a hand awkwardly through her short-cropped hair. "Uh, Deck Ten."
They rode in silence for a moment, Tasha growing uncomfortably agitated, glancing at him repeatedly. Finally, she sighed.
"Look, Data," she started, then grunted and tried again. "Data, I'm sorry, but I just… I don't want you to take this the wrong way. I mean, you're my friend, and my superior officer, and I respect you, I really do. It's just…"
"Lieutenant," Data said. "There is no need for you to apologize."
"The hell there isn't!" she exclaimed, her normally fair complexion burning red. "You know…you know how I feel about losing control, and that…that damn virus-!"
She fought to catch her breath, her eyes stinging despite herself.
Data started to move forward, then seemed to think better of it. Calling to the computer, he said, "Halt turbolift."
Their motion slowed, then stopped, allowing Tasha time to collect herself.
"You didn't have to do that," she said, wiping her eyes fiercely with the backs of her hands. "I'm fine."
Data didn't say anything.
"What?" she demanded. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Like what?"
"Like I just stunned your cat!"
Data furrowed his brow.
"But Tasha, I do not have a cat."
The security chief shook her head and almost smiled.
"I know you know what I mean. I don't buy that 'innocent android' act of yours for a second."
Data tilted his head.
"I am an android, but I do not believe myself to be 'innocent' in the sense you implied. A true innocent would be incapable of any intentional trespass. I, apparently, am not."
Tasha stared at him, a frown growing on her face as she took in his slightly hunched posture. She crossed her arms.
"All right, Data, out with it," she said, her tone making him lift his head. "You got onto this turbolift with me for a reason. Is it because of what I said to you on the bridge? That it never happened?"
"No," Data said. "I understand that you did not intend to deny the reality of the event, but to convey to me that you would prefer our future social interactions be conducted as if the event had not occurred. The meaning to be inferred is that you do not wish to pursue such an…intimate…relationship with me now that we are free of the influence of the polywater intoxicant. And, I believe I understand why."
"Then what is your problem?" Tasha demanded. "I saw you moping around that science station all day. If it wasn't because of me, then what?"
Data lowered his eyes.
"It was something the Captain said. That we should make a fine crew…if we avoid temptation."
He looked up at her, his expression oddly tight.
"I did not avoid temptation," he confessed in his calm, even voice. "That time, with you, was the first time I ever consciously chose to put my own desires above my duty. I was under orders to escort you to sickbay. It was my duty to protect you while your judgment was impaired, and to prevent you from engaging in behavior that could damage yourself or others. The correct and ethical course of action would have been to decline your inebriated advances, no matter how sincere those advances may have appeared at the time. Instead, I indulged in the opportunity you offered to further my wish to better comprehend the human condition. By giving in to temptation, by failing to uphold my duty to you and to the Captain, I am concerned that...I have damaged our camaraderie. That...I have lost your trust."
Tasha's eyebrows rose so high, they disappeared behind her blonde bangs.
"Data... Is that really what you think!?"
Data lowered his head, his clasped hands fidgeting awkwardly.
"Your distress just now when you saw me in the turbolift would seem to indicate-"
"Data, no. You stop right there," she snapped, shaking her head in sheer incredulity. She sighed and squeezed her short hair between her fingers.
"God, Data… Don't you understand? This isn't about you! It's about me - my actions; my screwed up fears. Do you even know why I picked you? There was this other man, before, in the corridor. A stranger. He wanted me to…but I couldn't. Even that intoxicated, I just…I couldn't. I was too afraid. After everything I'd been through growing up on that godforsaken planet, everything I'd seen…!
"And then, there you were. Right there, in my quarters. The strongest, most powerful man on this ship – maybe in the whole damn Federation. I thought, if I could seduce you, dominate you, then maybe… And, you actually went for it...! But you...you weren't like...those other men. You were so gentle, so considerate, that I…I felt ashamed…"
She squeezed her eyes shut and slowly shook her head.
"Don't you get it, Data? The whole thing was a lousy power play! You didn't take advantage of me, and you didn't do anything to betray my trust. But I sure as hell betrayed yours."
"No," he said, and looked into her anguished eyes. "You did not. It appears we both went into this with selfish motives."
Tasha winced, but acknowledged his point.
"I know what Counselor Troi would say," she said. "She'd say we reached out to each other because we both were trying to fill a gap we perceive within ourselves. You want to experience human emotions, but I... I can only wish I was like you. I need to feel like I'm in control, all the time. And when I feel that control slipping I…I…"
She clenched her fists and turned away.
"Tasha," Data said quietly. "I was quite honored that you chose to confide in me. That you felt you could…"
"Trust you?" she said.
He nodded, and she smiled.
"I do trust you Data. I trust you more than any man I've ever met."
"Even though I—"
"Even though," she said, not allowing him to finish the thought. "You know, Data, maybe I was wrong to deny what happened. Maybe, it wasn't just some sordid, selfish, inebriated attempt at experimentation or domination. Maybe it was more basic than that. More honest."
Data tilted his head, not certain that he understood.
She smiled.
"We're both misfits, Data," she said. "We both want to fit in, to feel a part of something larger and more important than ourselves. Why else would people like us be in Starfleet? Maybe this happened because we wanted to see each other. Really see each other. Not like the others see us, not as The Android or The Security Chief, but as Data and Tasha. Two people: man and woman, you and me."
A small smile stretched over Data's pale face. If Tasha hadn't known he didn't understand humor, she would have sworn he looked amused.
"Strange," he said. "I have been functional for twenty-six years, but only this week have I dared to consider myself a person. And now, you call me a man."
"And why not?" she said. "You are a man. A sweet, trusting, trustworthy man."
For a moment, Data's expression seemed to glow. Then, he reached out and took her hand in his.
"I believe you understand me better than I do myself," he said. "I will strive to be worthy of your trust in me…and your belief that I am…a man."
"Data, I never doubted it," she said, and gave his hand a squeeze. "Friends?"
"Friends," he agreed, and called to the computer. "Resume journey."
~fin~