italics are memories
"When did you know?" He asks her.
His words startle her, catching her off guard. When she turns to look at him, she sees that indubitable look of curiosity gleaming back at her and she smiles. After all these years, he's still able to surprise her.
The summer air is warm around them and the sun beams down on their exposed arms and faces. He tilts his head to the side as he watches her, waiting on her response. She looks right back at him, reading his thoughts through his eyes and wondering if he knows her answer already.
"Why, Castle. You don't trust me?" she teases. He chuckles.
"I was just wondering." His words are soft and barely spoken; as if he's having a conversation with himself.
Truth is, she can't pinpoint the moment when she knew, because that's just it- she doesn't know; and the more she thinks about it, the harder it gets. She bites down on her lip and averts her eyes. She looks past the skyline and into the slowly setting sun, taking in the details of Lady Liberty as she stands aglow on the horizon. Central park is gorgeous at twilight.
"Want to go get dinner someplace? It's getting late and I'm starving." He hollers from somewhere inside the precinct. She's sitting at her desk, and when she hears him bellowing from someplace in the building, a flush of embarrassment courses through her.
"Would it kill you to shut the hell up, once and a while?" she scolds him. He appears at the edge of her desk and takes a seat in his usual chair. His ever present charmer of a smile is proudly displayed across his face and he knows that it'll eventually win her over. She rolls her eyes.
"Fine, but not too late. I have paperwork to catch up on."
His cheeky grin becomes even cheekier as he cocks an eyebrow in her direction. "Is that a date I hear, Detective Beckett?"
She laughs out loud. "Oh, get over yourself, Castle."
They leave the precinct around 6pm and head for Big Nicks- their favourite pizza joint. They order the usual via telephone on their way over, with intentions to sit in the restaurant. But once they arrive and see that the restaurant is under heavy construction they begin to doubt their seating arrangements.
"Lets just bring it back to the precinct." He suggests as they walk out of the pizzeria, with their cheese pizza in hand.
She shakes her head. "Esposito is like a vacuum cleaner- we'll be lucky to even get a slice."
He nods in agreement. They stop at the crosswalk, and wait for the light to turn red; allowing them to cross. The sun is slowly setting, on the summery July evening, and just as they're about to cross, he gets an idea.
He looks at her with a mischievous grin, "Want to go on an adventure?"
"Absolutely not."
But before she gets a chance to protest, he's walking in the opposite direction- with her pizza, beckoning her to follow him, and despite her greatest efforts, Richard Castle could not be stopped once an idea pops into his mind.
She continues to follow him as he weaves his way through the paths of central park. After a series of turns, they're finally at their destination. He steps aside and allows her to step forward, taking in the scenery.
Laid out before her is a clearing, with a perfect view of the water. They can see the statue of liberty exquisitely, with the sun poised just behind it in an explosion of oranges and reds, lighting up the sky as it dips below the horizon. Placed gingerly in the center of the soft patch of grass is a picnic table. She turns to look at him, and when she catches his eye, she doesn't even attempt to hide how impressed she is. He smiles at her.
Not until much later did they realize that this indeed, was their first date.
"Isn't central park just beautiful at twilight?"
The memory plays itself through her mind and she smiles; that was a great night. They'd spent it like they spent any other night; bickering and throwing insults at each other, but that didn't matter. That's just how they were. It was how they connected with each other. It was a part of their charm.
But on the contrary, quirky and charming is not the definition of their relationship. They've had their rough patches. They've had their fights. They go through things too, the two of them.
"Remember the gun pen?" he asks her. He can practically hear her shuddering.
"Don't remind me."
"You ignored me for a week."
"You deserved it." She says, trying to hide the smile on her face.
"At least I remembered your birthday."
"Too bad you gave me the most thoughtless gift I've ever received."
"That's harsh."
She chuckles. "Good."
She pulls her jacket closer around her, as the chill of the rapidly approaching night time sets in. Instinctively, he wraps his arm around her shoulders and shimmies her closer, providing her with protection and warmth; and just the right amount of butterflies.
She closes her eyes as her head falls back to rest on his shoulder. He looks down at her; the way he's seeing her now is so different than the way he saw her before. She's grown and opened herself up to him in ways that his wildest fantasies could never have imagined.
"Kate," he whispers. She doesn't move, but she responds.
"Yeah?"
"I didn't always know." He confesses. He feels her nod against him.
"I know."
He walks into the precinct at 10:30am. He's late. Way late. He had two missed calls from Beckett on his phone and he had yet to call her back. He had spent the night with Gina, then woke up and spent the morning with her too. He was in such a state of blissfulness that he didn't even think about what Beckett would say. He didn't even think about Beckett- until he saw her.
She was sitting in her seat, cup of coffee by her side with her head resting in her hands. From where he stood she couldn't see him, but he could easily see her. He watched as her eyelids begin to flutter closed with exhaustion, and suddenly, he felt guilty. As he looked at her in that moment, he saw something new and unexplored in her; something that hadn't been there before.
He cautiously walked up to her, trying to act as normal as possible. "Good morning, Detective." He said. "What are we working on today?"
She startled, and looked up to him, her eyes heavy with sleep. "Was I asleep?" she asked, confused.
He smiled. "I won't tell if you won't."
She rubbed at her eyes and took a sip of her coffee. She handed him a file and watched as he looked over it quickly.
They talked about the crime.
They talked about the possible murders.
They ate lunch, and went on a few road trips.
She was closing up shop and he was getting ready to leave when she finally said it.
"You were late."
They're the only words she speaks, but they hold enough to fill an entire library. Those three words said it all. They told him that she knew that we had been with another woman, and they told him that she knew that he had put her second. He saw the vulnerability in her eyes and for the first time that day, he recognized the defeat in her voice.
She'd seemed different because she was hurt. He'd seen her sad, angry, hell he'd even seen her drunk- but he'd never seen her hurt, and it killed him inside to know that he was the one who caused it.
That was the moment he knew.
"It won't happen again."
"It's getting late." He says. He's not implying that he wants to leave because he doesn't, but he wanted to break the silence; pull her out of her trance.
She inhales a deep breath of air as she nestles in closer to him. "Just a little while longer."
It's little moments like these where she lets her guard down and reveals the little girl in need of a big strong man inside of her, that make his heart explode with all different kinds of emotions. He doesn't even know how to think straight, because just the simple fact that he's the one that she needs drives him insane. He's never felt that sense of happiness before- not in either of his previous marriages, and definitely not during the many short relationships he'd been in since.
Kate Beckett is different than all the other relationships; she different than all the other women on the planet. She'd different. She's special. She's perfectly suited to him.
She's perfect.
"You still haven't answered my question." He says, running his fingers up and down her arm.
She smiles into him. "I know."
"Not getting cold feet then, are yah?" he teases. She laughs.
Silence. They've been over this topic hundreds of times, and it always ends the same way. But not this time.
"There was never a moment for me, Castle." She says it so quietly that he almost misses it. She sits up and looks into his eyes.
"I always knew."
"Always?" he asks, half with curiosity and half with confusion. She nods.
"I don't know how to explain it." She looks away from him and back out towards the skyline. The sun is almost gone, and the moon is about to make its grand entrance.
"It was always there. Even though we stayed apart for so long; somewhere inside me I knew. I knew it would be you in the end."
Her face flushes and her cheeks slowly fill with blush. He smiles and runs his thumb along her jaw line, watching as goose bumps rise up on the skin of her arms. Her eyelids flutter closed as he leans in to kiss her, but instead of kissing her lips, he kisses her jaw where his hand had just been, he kisses her nose, and he kisses her closed eyes.
She breaks out into a grin, and as she opens her eyes, he's already smiling.
"Your silly." She says to him.
He nods and intertwines his fingers with hers, and when he does he feels the silvery band of her engagement ring as it grazes his fingers. He smiles. She relaxes into his chest once more.
Their worlds were finally at peace.
Tell me what you think.
love & blessings
O