Title: I Can't Lose You Again.
This is the sequel to "Mexico", tend days after its end.
Disclaimer: the talented Mrs Proulx owns the original story and characters.
Special thanks to my dear beta Carol and Paula, and to Onefreetoroam for the title idea.
Ennis became used to packing things. I could start a business in moving furniture he thought, while emptying the small closet he started using only six weeks before.
Ten days were not enough for worrying, they came and went so fast. One to return home, one to talk with the foreman, one to close his meagre bank account, and so on.
Sometimes Ennis let his mind roam freely and wondered why he decided to call Childress only a few days ago.
What strange force took control of his mind and made him do something so potentially dangerous, so terrible for all those involved? But now his brain was against every attempt at rationalising the situation, so Ennis resigned and erased from his memory whatever Mexican trip he made, transforming it into a sort of dream.
That way, he could always pretend it never happened.
What was important, now, was the possibility to see Jack soon, to start a different life. One that could make him forget the divorce and its' bitterness.
Leaving Riverton meant a new kind of freedom, a place where nobody would point at him whispering "He's Alma's ex-husband, the poor cowboy she left for a better life."
Alma was surprised when he showed up at her house with $500 in cash as child support, partly from Jack and partly his own. Ennis told Alma he would be very busy soon but he refused to explain further; she wasn't a part of his life anymore.
He left the house muttering "See you later," and waited outside for his girls.
Ennis chose the Saturday dinner he was now used to spending with his daughters, to tell them he was leaving Riverton.
He was worried about their reaction – he feared female emotions like tears and maybe words full of anger directed against him.
He couldn't let them know the truth. Sometimes he couldn't know it himself, so he chose to disguise his departure as a work opportunity.
Ennis decided to let the girls eat before speaking, sure that two young girls full of hamburgers and fries would be less inclined to overreact.
The portions were large and Junior said hers was too much. She started noticing her body recently and puberty was transforming her thin frame. The divorce between her parents was a shock and she spent nights awake in her bed trying to understand why.
"Do you want an ice cream?" Ennis offered.
"No thanks Dad, that was enough." Junior answered.
"I want it Dad, can I have hers also?" Jenny was like a bottomless pit, Ennis thought, so similar to Jack when he was hungry.
He often imagined during sleepless nights, that if he and Jack could mysteriously have children together, Junior would be like him and Jenny a perfect Miss Twist.
"Yes you can, but don't tell your Mama that you ate two, promise?" He added with a wink to his youngest.
"Sure Dad, Mama always says I eat too much."
And she is right, Ennis agreed, looking at the way the ice creams were disappearing from the cups.
Time to drop the bomb.
"I've had a new job offer last week. A friend asked me to work in his ranch up in Lightning Flat."
"Where is it Dad?
"North from here. I think 3 or 4 hours driving." Better to avoid too many details too soon.
"He says it's a beautiful place . He's returning home after ten years away."
"You're going to accept?" Junior enquired. Ennis noticed she was quiet like her sister.
"I think so. I'll be his foreman. He wants to make changes and improve the ranch."
"So you'll leave soon."
"I think so, but I'll be back every other weekend to see you."
He didn't worry about where to stay during those weekends because Junior was tense and his goal was to leave without discussion. There was always the Siesta Motel for a night.
"And you could spend the summer holidays with me."
"They have horses?" Jennie's question was completely unexpected.
"Yes, and I can take my horses with me."
"So you could teach us how to ride horses when we visit you Dad? Mama always refuses saying it's too dangerous."
That had often been a sore point between he and Alma. She refused to allow the girls to follow Ennis' way of life. She wanted them to became city girls, not the daughters of a poor cowboy.
She insisted on music lessons from an old lady who sang the armonium every Sunday at church and owned an old piano.
Monroe, Alma's boss at the grocery store, gave her an advance to pay for those lessons. When Ennis discovered this, he went mad but Alma was resolute.
"Your Mama is worried about you, but I never hurt myself on a horse, I swear."
"Yes Dad, we know you're the best rider in Wyoming," Junior said teasingly.
Ennis was happy for the laughs that followed from both girls. They could make fun of him for the whole night if that meant accepting his choice.
He made a quick choice of what to take with him. The reality was that his belongings were few, consisting mainly of what Alma gave him after the divorce. The best was an old sofa and some kitchen tableware. Everything went smoothly and fast. Two big bags, a mattress, a selection of unbroken plates and glasses, a few cans of vegetables and meat.
The life of a man reduced to three hundred pounds of things.
The main problem was his horses. He talked with Joe Ferguson, a colleague from the ranch, who agreed to drive his horse trailer to another ranch, owned by Jack's cousin Peter, where Jack would be waiting for him. Then CB and Candy would remain for a few days in Peter's barn until Ennis could move them using Twist Senior's trailer from Lightning Flat.
Ennis was afraid to meet Peter Nelson, the first relative of Jack's he would have met.
He was as nervous as a young husband meeting the family of his bride for the very first time.
Jack told him twice on the phone to quieten down. There was no need for Peter to know everything about them; he promised to explain to Peter that Ennis was there to help him.
As a matter of fact, cousin Peter was twice the size of Jack and very friendly, happy to see his relative after three years and pleased also to meet Ennis, whom he recognised as a true cowboy like him.
His ranch was small but the barn contained a dozen promising horses.
"I've bought two new mares three years ago and now the results are coming." he explained Ennis while showing him the property.
"This year I'm going to show the horses at the Boulder Fair."
"I bet you'll receive lots of offers for them."
"I'd like to be a breeder but I need more space for the horses. Now that Jack is back we could talk."
Ennis agreed and the two men started a discussion about the virtue of race horses, to the delight of Jack who was listening. He thought it was a miracle to make Ennis talk with a stranger.
"If you need help for the hardest tasks at Uncle John's ranch call me – Peter told Jack later – I've two cowboys here and my Tommy is now 15, he can help too."
"Thanks Peter, I have some ideas, but first I want Ennis to see the place."
"Your ranch needs a good month's work to fix the fences, but it's a great idea to come home. Without somebody new it would collapse soon."
"There were too many problems in Texas."
"If you and Uncle Twist don't get along I could offer you a job myself." Peter told Ennis, who was pleased to receive a compliment from the stranger. He felt relieved, his fears eased a little.
"So you two met in '63?" Peter asked.
He seemed at ease talking about ordinary things, so Ennis decided to answer. Jack was faster as usual.
"Long time ago."
"Not far from here if I remember well?"
"Yes, herding sheep up on Brokeback Mountain."
The glance Ennis gave Jack hearing those words was one of longing for innocence lost, for a summer that flowed away too fast.
"Ennis, you must be a saint to manage my little cousin for a whole summer. Jack has always talked a lot since he was a kid."
"And still does." Ennis pointed out, caressing the back of his horses. Peter noticed.
"Don't worry, I'll take care of your boys. Tommy will lead them outside for a walk everyday. Now go home, Auntie Claire is so excited, she can't stop talking about her boy coming back home."
Ennis took Jack's elbow when Peter turned, leading the horses away.
"Her boy? Did you tell your mother about me?"
"Yes Ennis, I told her there was a friend but had no time to fully explain. I started with the divorce then she became worried for Bobby and I couldn't add anything more."
"Jack please I only ask for no more lies."
"I swear Ennis, I was going to tell her you were coming to help fix the ranch but she started talking about Bobby and how sorry she was for him. But she surely knows I'm arriving with a friend.
Jack seemed truthful so Ennis forgave him.
"I kept my mouth closed also 'cause I wanted to see you beforehand, to discuss with you what I can tell them about your presence.
"You can tell the truth about me being divorced and us being friends since '63."
Ennis was so honest he sometimes bordered on foolishness, but this time Jack was very careful with his words. It was a sort of miracle to have Ennis here and Jack wasn't willing to risk anything. Sometimes when he was visiting, he talked about Ennis with his parents, but John once said he believed that "Ennis" wasn't real.
"You had better meet my Pa first and then decide what to explain."
"Ok ok, if you say so."
"I'll tell only you need a change after the divorce and are a damned good rancher. Then we'll see. Now its time to go."
"You first, I'll follow."
TBC.
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