What Do You Want?
Many thanks again to my short notice beta rockcliffchic81.
Set after Wild Life.
_"I don't owe you anything Lou!" Catherine stammered shoving her way past him and into his condo.
"Then why are you here?" he demanded watching her throw her way past him.
"Because of this!"
The next thing he knew a T-shirt was being thrown at him landing on his chest and falling to the ground.
"What the hell?" Lou questioned angrily.
"It's yours, your T-shirt that you left or conveniently left at my place."
"So, what does that have to do with why you are here?" Lou couldn't help get more upset at the randomness of the conversation.
Catherine Willows narrowed her eyes. She controlled her emotions and her breathing as she looked up at the man she arguing with. The incredibly sexy man with two- day -old stubble in sweats and an Oregon Ducks T-shirt.
"Because it's yours, it's you!" Catherine retorted. "It's what I have when you are not with me."
She said it, the words she thought he wanted to hear two day ago.
"What?" Lou sighed. "You came all the way over here to give me a T-shirt, a $12 GAP shirt. Keep it."
Sadness settled into Catherine. Not what she wanted to hear from him. Her eyes fell landing on the discarded shirt.
He sighed again. "If you don't owe me anything why are you here?"
"Because I want you." Catherine tried to control the anger in her voice.
"You want me or you want my dick between your legs."
"You know, you are a Grade A asshole." The anger could no longer be hidden.
"Yes Catherine, I am. I am an asshole, but wait you knew that about me. Which is something I can't always say about you."
"I see. How's the asshole routine is working for you?" The sarcasm rolled off her tongue.
Neither spoke for a few minutes.
"Tell me this, what would you have done? What would you have done if I told you about the men who drugged me? Gone after them? Hunt those people down?"
Lou flung his hands in the air. "I don't know Catherine, maybe. It's my job you know."
"No, it's not your job. You seem to be crossing the line between your job and me."
More words she thought he'd want to hear.
"Funny, I don't see it that way." She watched as he walked past her.
"And that's why I don't owe you anything. My life is my life. What I choose to tell people is my business." The fire returned to her voice.
"What do you think I'm going to do to you Catherine?"
Her blue eyes widened when he closed the gap between their bodies. She could smell the beer that he drank not too long ago on his breath. She could see the stubble on his face and how tussled his hair was.
Louis Vartann hadn't done much of anything since their public disagreement at PD.
The only food around was a half eaten sandwich on his coffee table. It didn't take a CSI to see that Lou drank more than he ate over the past two days.
He told his captain he was taking sick leave. Time he had banked and never used. Part of the bachelor lifestyle he no longer wanted; unused sick time.
The plethora of beer bottles scattered throughout his living room, along with the pillow and blanket draped over the couch also suggested he spent most of his time there.
"Would it help if I told you that I love you?" He opened after taking in her fiery blue eyes.
"Do you? Do you even mean it?"
"Would it matter?" he hissed. "Would you trust me then?"
She watched his chest move up and down with aggravation and annoyance.
"Well? Do you?" Catherine wanted an answer. The impatience and frustration of the situation were getting to her.
His eyes softened when she looked in them for her answer.
"I know you do." She answered for him.
Catherine fought the urge to kiss him. She was stronger than that, she wanted to prove that she was stronger and wasn't going to give into him.
"So what? That doesn't change anything. You still aren't willing to talk to me. You still have everything on your terms. And that's how you like it," Lou added.
His body was incredibly close to hers. He was either doing it on purpose or hadn't a clue, either way, she liked it.
"I see. That's what the problem is? I won't move in with you so you act like a jerk?"
Catherine growled at him not wanting to leave her spot.
"The fact that I sleep with your damn shirt doesn't count for anything? Or the fact that I LOVE YOU too." She cut in before Lou could say a thing.
"So what? Now I'm supposed to take you upstairs and what? Make each other feel good for an hour? Then what? We are still in the same place. You not letting me in." His voice was full of dissatisfaction.
"God, you know you are so incredibly stubborn." Catherine leaned in close enough to kiss him again.
"Tell me Catherine," he breathed out feeling how close she was to him, "What do you want from me?"
He knew how close she was. He wanted an answer and he sure as hell was not going to give in an actually take her upstairs….
Her body leaned back. Catherine's mouth fell open a bit. She clicked her tongue on the roof of her mouth.
Then her eyes hit the floor. She didn't really have an answer. Or one she could give.
"What do you think I'm going to do to you Catherine?" He asked again this time putting a gentle hand to her face.
She surprised herself by leaning into it. It felt good, he felt good.
"I'm scared," her voice trembled.
Her eyes flicked up to meet his. "I'm not going to hurt you," he answered with a low tender voice.
"I want you to give me some time," she smiled. His eyes squinted at her remark.
He stepped back quickly and took his had off her face.
Lou in turn, placed a hand on his hip and turned away from her slightly.
Catherine reached out to him, put her arm on his. In return he gave her a cold, hard stare.
What started out as a way to make amends suddenly went very wrong.
"Catherine, I'm not sure how much time I have left." He lowered his eyes turned completely away from her.
She stood, dumbfounded. Her attempt to reach out to him failed.
He heard her take in a very shaky breath. He closed his eyes and did the same.
Time stopped once more. The air grew stagnant around them. neither willing to move from their stance.
"I don't want you to do this to me." Lou broke the silence. "I said I'll take what you and I have, but you know I want more Catherine. And I'm not sure how much longer I want to wait."
"Do what to you exactly?" Catherine countered in defense.
"String me along."
"Oh so this is about you now?" The hurt and disappointment in her voice was more than evident. She couldn't help let the words fly out of her mouth.
"Damn it Catherine!" he huffed.
Anger, frustration, uncertainty, and confusion filled him. Without another thought and the very powerful emotions coursing through him, Lou took a huge, angry lunge toward Catherine.
He wasn't going to hurt her, he wanted her to see him, she how she made him feel, see what she had done to him.
In her mind, she knew he would never ever hurt her, but the way he was coming at her, she had doubts, even just for that very instant.
"Stop!" She immediately put her hands up to his chest closing her eyes, stopping him right in his tracks.
Without thinking his eyes closed at the same time as his hands wrapped around her wrists.
Both drew in deep breaths and opened their eyes at the same time. Shock and confusion set in at the sight of his hands on her wrists.
Before anymore thoughts flooded his brain, his lips crashed down on hers. His hands set hers free to tangle in his hair pulling him closer to her.
His hand slid down the side of her body stopping slightly at her hip.
Catherine's breath hitched when Lou cupped her warmth through the pants she was wearing.
"Damn you Lou, angry sex," Catherine panted arching an eyebrow when the kiss had finished.
"Angry yes, and sex, oh definitely yes," Lou smiled teasing a small circle around the pert nipple poking through her shirt.
"You know, I hate it when you make me like this, you know, giving in to you." Catherine got out in between breaths.
His hand continued to explore her taut buds over her shirt.
His mouth began to kiss her neck causing her breath to become shaky again.
"I know," Lou smiled into her neck.
Catherine threaded her fingers in his hair easing his lips toward hers. She kissed him, full of passion and desire. Her tongue found his as the couple tore at each other's clothes.
Before she knew it, he had turned her around and was bending her over the couch. Lou had quickly and quietly pulled down his sweats and was wasting no time inching Catherine's blue slacks off her hips.
His hands resting on her hips, he thrust into her causing both of them to let out a gasp.
Lou continued to pound himself into Catherine. She tried not to let out too much of a yelp when one of his thrusts almost split her in half.
"God," was all she could muster. She could feel her orgasm approaching as she felt him inside her. It felt good, he felt good, everything about him felt good.
And she hated that, she hating him for making her give in to him, but she loved it when he did.
Catherine closed her eyes, she felt him lean over her. She felt his breath from behind her in her ear.
"Lou," Catherine stammered out when she felt her orgasm approaching. She leaned her body back into his listening to his rapid breaths.
She closed her eyes again feeling the warmth wash over her as her body shook slightly.
Lou thrust one final time into her releasing his own orgasm with a small grunt.
He took in a deep breath and kissed the back of her neck.
"You okay?" He asked pulling up his sweats.
The next thing he knew her fists were on his chest. "Don't you ever do that again!"
"What? No more hot angry sex?" Lou said with a wicked smile.
"You said we wouldn't do this." Catherine looked down again. "Nothing would change."
He faced her, looked at her, and took in her blue eyes. She did the same, flicked her eyes up into his steely blue/grey ones.
"Damn it Lou, I want you so much it scares me. There. Are you happy now? Is that what you want to hear?"
"Yes. I mean, I don't know." He sighed and closed his eyes.
"Lou," She took his face in her hands. He let out a breath hoping she wouldn't walk away from him.
"I need to do this my way. I really need you to understand that. I promise I won't string you along, I promise I will tell you things, but you have to understand that talking about what happened to me wasn't about you…."
Lou's lips cut her off with a soft gentle kiss.
Catherine smiled up at him after the small kiss broke.
Her hand found his strong chest and began to draw circles around the left side.
He looked down at her hand as she drew a heart shape on his chest.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm giving you what you want. I'm giving you my heart."