Dear Diary,

I have begun this journal in order keep an accurate account of the founding of my school.

That, and I feel that I may need an outlet to vent my frustration before I end up killing one of them.

They're honestly not, well, not all bad. Even if Salazar thought it would be good fun to try to poison Godric's mead, causing that idiot to explode our table, as well as half of the small inn. Not that any of this bothered Rowena. She showed up half an hour late, staring at the sky, and mumbling something about Nargles. Luckily, once she stumbled in, Salazar and I had already repaired Godric's damage, erased the incident from the Muggles' minds, and sentenced Godric to a time out in the corner with no more mead. It is truly a bleak future for our kind if these truly are the brightest minds of the age.

Not that they aren't talented, by any means. Salazar does have a knack for potions, and his Legilimens matches even my own. Not that he had any idea I poses powers like that, of course. I have easily managed to keep my mind suitably blank, occasionally giving Salazar a pie recipe when he decides to prod around. Godric is all brawn and auburn hair with hardly any brains it seems. His dueling skills could wipe out half the country, and more than once I've already had to confiscate his wand to keep him from doing just that. Lastly, there is poor Rowena, tragically beautiful and about as focused as an epileptic puppy. Her mind is wickedly sharp, when she decides to pay the real world any heed.

Overall, I feel less like a witch and more like a nanny these days.

First, there was the issue of where to put the school. Each one wanted it where they had grown up, even though there really was no place more suitable than up north. Up north in a particular spot I had already picked out. A lovely and secluded spot nestled between a forest and a lake, the perfect spot for a cozy, magical retreat. Luckily, Rowena decided to tune in at that moment, and calmed the boys with the bat of an eyelash. So, north it is.

I keep telling Rowena she needs to eat more, the tiny thing, but she seems to forget five seconds after I've told her.

We did manage to have a lovely slice of pumpkin pie, my personal favorite, while the boys constructed the school. They had offered to take the task upon themselves as a way to impress Miss Rowena, and I was happy to oblige them. However, she did not even so much as look their way as they worked, as she was so enthralled in some new plant she had discovered. Salazar and Godric had no idea, and continued with their construction pissing contest, so that what had been described as a small and cozy retreat was suddenly a castle.

A castle.

They built a castle in the middle of nowhere, complete with turrets and towers and who knows what else!

I had to hex them before they would stop. I'm just glad I got to them before they decided to add a moat. We're trying to be discrete, I reminded them, and a castle is anything but! The protection charms that a castle would need would be horridly hard, and given that there were only an estimated thousand wizards in Britain (with numbers growing smaller each day, I might add, due to ignorant and fire-prone Muggles) we certainly had no need for a castle!

And then Rowena glided over, looking at the castle and calling it, "Lovely." That also was enough for the boys to feel proud of themselves, and they blushed furiously once I took the petrifying hex off of them. At least Rowena is too far away most of the time to notice their advances. I don't know what would happen if any of them got any more distracted, or if she actually decided to return their affection.

-Helga

Oh, I almost forgot to mention. I perfected the pumpkin juice charm earlier in the week. As pumpkins are the vegetable I'm best with, it's so nice to have a way to enjoy them in liquid form as well as in pie, pasta, casserole, and so on. Small victories are what keep me sane.

Small victories.