I'm having a serious writers block with one of my stories, so I thought I'd write this to clear my mind.
By the way, the songs not mine. It was sung by bryan mcfadden. Its absolutely smashing if you are in the mood for angst. Enjoy!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Almost here
Did I hear you right You have been my life
'Cause I thought you said
Let's think it over
And I never planned
Growing old without you
Blank crimson eyes stared at the small back of the retreating brunette, as if hoping to pull her back to him by his mere gaze. Nothing happened. The frame of the brunette slowly disappeared into the horizon, leaving love, self-disgust and most of all, guilt to replace the empty air beside the motionless teen. He couldn't believe it. Why hadn't he noticed it earlier?
Shadows bleeding through the light
Where a love once shined so bright
Came without a reason
Of course. How could he have? He had after all ignored her so much these past few years that he was surprised she had sustained this long. He had always been that way. He always got what he wanted and after that pursued something different, forgetting that he must not, and now, it had cost him his Hilary.
Don't let go on us tonight
Love's not always black and white
Haven't I always loved you?
That's what he had said to her. Everyday, after every fight, and she had given him the chance he begged her for. Believing, like an innocent child he would stay with her… all that was needed was one more chance… until he let her down again. But not this time. This time her eyes had given the answer to his question. The answer that was just beneath those ruby orbs for so long, hidden by trust…
But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's
Not enough
But when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'Cause you're only almost here
Yes, he had understood the message, without any words spoken. And that was why he had not struggled to keep her back… because she was right. Saying the same words again and again would not help, no matter how much he really truly loved her.
I would change the world
If I had a chance
Oh won't you let me
Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around me
Please protect me
He really did feel like a child without her. Like a baby infant, struggling in the world all alone. After a day of work, she would always be there, with her soothing words and soft smile. He had always taken it for granted, her gentle hands gently massaging his aching shoulders . but he had never thanked her for it, just went back to his dark room of work. He had truly treated her like a housemaid.
Housemaid…. Kai winced as tasted the word on his tongue.
Bruised and battered by your words
Dazed and shattered how it hurts
Haven't I always loved you?
All their fights made him hurt inside, so badly… but he never apologized. It just rolled of, passing onto the slowly growing resentment that built on through the years. He really should have paid attention to her. But he couldn't take back time, only remember it. He could still feel her silent words floating around him.
But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's
Not enough
But when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'Cause you're only almost here
he hurt. She hurt. What good came of this? And it was all his fault. He could feel the argument for his folly at the tip of his tongue, but he bit it back it was no use. She wouldn't come back… even for a thousand words.
But when I need you, you're almost here
(Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you)
And when I hold you, you're almost here
(Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted)
(Now I'm with you, I'm close to tears
'Cause I know I'm almost here)
Only almost here
And that was it. No more to say. Kai slowly wiped a tear as it fell from his cheek. After all, it was true. He had never actually been there… just almost there….
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
well, that's that! Hmmm, should I keep it a oneshot, or make it a better ending… what do you think?