Read this carefully; I dislike repeating myself, even though I am fairly sure I will be repeating myself often.
What follows in this series of highly unfortunate, somewhat true events, written down in these gargantuan tomes is not an epic of humorous nature. This is an Odyssey of Misery, containing a web of tales of tragic, almost pathetically written woe. Each string contains its own rings of evils and mistakes- one for each character, for each situation.
Unfortunately, I can neither confirm nor deny their accuracy. That is up to you, as a reader, to adjudicate. However, I can admit that I have manipulated various occurrences for the sake of my crux to be plain to those with the sense to understand it. To some, they will be pages upon pages of complete and utter nonsense. They will throw this book in the trash, burn it, protest it, and obviously insult it. Still, I know this book will be taken and read by those who need to desperately see it.
In these six books, I have recorded things that have happened, things that are happening, and things that will happen. They are what I have Seen, what I wish to convey, and what I have simply made up to suit my fancy (though I promise, the third ties closely with the first). The melancholy of it all is bittersweet, now that I lament on it- certain things I have seen will occur whether I interfere or not, and in certain situations, I would gladly offer my entire soul in exchange for them to simply not happen. But I cannot; to think I could do such a thing would be absolutely silly. One cannot stop Time. Yet… the sweetness is present, I must admit.
Because I can taste that sweetness is why I wrote this introduction. There will come a time when the sky is bright, and the future is hopeful. Quite possibly, you might even find certain things humorous. Even in the grimmest of settings, a moment can resemble joy. I beg of you, my reader; please, cherish them. They will be hard to find. Not only for you, but for the poor souls in these books.
I wrote this specifically for you, but doubtlessly you have skipped through it, circumvented it in hopes of beginning the Epic of The Incandescent Cherub.
In the beginning, I told you to examine this carefully. If you are possibly scanning through the pages in hopes the words "gay wizard sex" appears in the same grammatically correct sequence as "and then they had", then by all means, find something better. This book was not meant for you to grasp anyhow, so you reading this is pointless. In fact, make yourself useful and go read another book about wizards and brag about how you understand it. I am sure everyone will think you are so intelligent for reading those, truly.
I wrote this introduction to plainly state that the first Epic will not include the Cherub. In fact, the poor dear will hardly be mentioned.
This book, however, is about their birth- not their actual birth, of course, as that is actually quite gruesome to describe. No, I mean the events that accrued over a certain time, Cascading down into a climactic end that led to not only their story, but the stories revolving around theirs as well. In short, this entire book is the prologue. I guarantee, however, you might just find this story as equally compelling as the Cherub's. Unfortunately, if you choose to skip this book and move on to the Cherub, I wish you good luck, due to the doubtless fact that you will be horribly lost. But who am I to stop you?
As believed in the Theory of Everything, all events are linked, and will have their own, crucial part in creating their own end.
But let us begin, shall we? I myself am growing bored of myself, and I'm writing the damn thing.